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Monday, December 26, 2011

Jim Bakker Show 2011 Wrap-up: The Scammys

Jim Bakker squealing like a pig after a successful 2011
It's been a long, prosperous 2011 for the Jim Bakker Show. Disasters, foreign and domestic, have been pounced upon by King Bakker in order to exploit the fears of naive people and get their money flowing into his castle at Morningside. Has anyone actually had to use a foodbucket yet? Nope. Have any super-grannies used their parachute wristbands to yank a doomed child out of a swollen, fast-moving river? Not a one. But that doesn't matter, because they're prepared! And they'll be even more prepared next year, when Bakker starts up a new round of overpriced offerings that serve only one purpose: To make money for Jim.

But before that new sales year begins, let's reflect back on the Jim Bakker Show in 2011 as we inaugurate the first ever Scammy Awards.


Bakker's Mississippi 'fill bottle'
Best Switcharoo
The 2011 Scammy Award for Best Switcharoo goes to Jim Bakker for his stellar sales-work on the Mississippi River with Bishop Ron Webb. Bakker says he was on location in flood-ravaged areas to provide assistance to victims affected by the disaster. In reality, Bakker was on location so he could trick his viewers into thinking that he's a man of the people who works to help them improve their lives. If Bakker cared to help people, he wouldn't charge them hefty markups to buy his garbage products. He wouldn't insist on having cameras covering his every move. And, he wouldn't fill a water bottle with water taken from the Mississippi River, then switch it with a 'clean' bottle before drinking from it. A man of the people doesn't do that, but that's what Jim did.

Bakker's Mississippi 'drink bottle'
Any viewer with two brain cells can clearly see that Jim has two different bottles at his disposal: one with black tape and one without. The one with black tape is dunked into the the dirty, filthy Mississippi River, for drinking. The crew cuts, gives Jim the un-taped bottle full of clean and crisp Evian Spring Water, and we roll tape again. Bakker takes a long swig, declares the water purely delicious, and we sell thousands of them. Simple and effective, yet dishonest to the core. Congratulations Jim Bakker, you are the recipient of this year's Scammy Award for Best Switcharoo. Keep up the good work!


Biggest Waste of Inbred 'Dollurs'
Jim Bakker dwarfed by a Foodbucket Pyramid
Jim seems to sell just about everything that's offered to him at a discount, and once in awhile he really flies off his rocker and ends up pricing these things out of poor man's territory. The $250 foodbucket 'Inbred Special' has pretty much become the norm now for Jim. Prior to the foodbuckets, I seem to recall that his modus operandi was that of a cheap jewelry salesman. But it's becoming a little more common nowadays to see Bakker toeing the water in the big boy pool to see how much people are willing to cough-up. We've seen $1,000 trinkets like the Film Camera paperweight that looked like it was made out of spare plumbing parts. Most Builder's Club or Legacy Club memberships will run you $1,000 as well. Buying either of these probably nets the buyer dinner with, or a phone call from, an oddly congratulatory Jim Bakker as he welcomes you into 'The Club'. But this year we saw one product outshine them all in sheer greed, while simultaneously blinding us with it's hideousness: The $10,000 dollar statue of a Godzilla-sized Jesus.

Jim Bakker sold the Golden Calf
Even today, the details are sketchy for me. Was the purchaser actually receiving a giant statue delivered to their doorstep, or was it just a statue for Jim's own personal use? And if it was a statue just for Jim, how much did it cost in total if multiple people could donate ten grand? For all the confusion about the details, there was one thing very clear: The price. Ten-thousand smackaroos. Little do these numbskulls realize that it comes with an added bonus: It earns the buyer the eternal ire of the man himself, Jesus Christ.

Because you know what Jesus really enjoys more than anything else? Some dumb inbred giving $10,000 to Jim Bakker for a graven image of Him. It's probably more ethical to simply burn the money to ashes than send it to The Snake. What on earth has Jim Bakker done to deserve that money, exactly? Are you rewarding him for breaking rocks on the prison work crew? You should be ashamed of yourself, whoever you are.

The Scammy for Biggest Waste of Inbred 'Dollurs' goes to Jim Bakker's Jesus statue. You're going to hell for that one, Jim.


Best Kiss (of a girl's hand who is not your daughter)
Philip Cameron with his Moldovan Harem
Hands-down, this year's award for Best Kiss on Christian Television goes to Jim Bakker's favorite fat-and-horny Scotsman, Philip Cameron. Sometime in the September-October time frame, Bakker aired a few days of Philip Cameron episodes while Flip Cameron was in town to pick up another truckload of Morningside money. I wasn't able to watch the episodes completely through without a very real risk of vomiting, but I decided to snap a few pictures of what I thought was highly inappropriate behavior coming from Cameron towards a young orphan girl from Moldova. This proved timely, as I can now award Philip Cameron his 2011 Scammy award for Best Kiss (of a girl's hand who is not your daughter).

A sly-eyed Philip Cameron preparing to plant one
[Prosecutor] And what was Mr Cameron wearing at the time of the inappropriate behavior?
[Me] He was wearing a blue blazer with his shirt open at the collar. I remember it clearly because I thought to myself that it looked like he was dressed up for a date. Oh, he also wore a gold watch. Like I said, I thought he was on a date.

Cameron was making a big hoo-haw about this poor girl's fingers having been cut off in an accident, and how self-conscious it made her. He then proceeded to display her hand for the entire American television viewing public to see.
You're an asshole, Philip Cameron
[Prosecutor] Did you think that was right?
[Me] Showing this poor girl's hand to the camera? Hell no it wasn't right, she's self-conscious about it! How about we strip Cameron's fat ass naked and show off his little pecker to the camera? Let's find out what he's self-conscious about, then display it for the whole world to see.

Your creepy actions do not go unnoticed, Flip.

Philip Cameron then leans in and kisses this girl's hand. I think even Jim and Lori were shocked by the vulgarity of it. It was disgusting, it looked like he was proposing to her. Then he told us, with a smile, that kissing a woman's hand is the most tender thing you can do in Moldovan society. Dude, that's not a woman, that's a girl who is an orphan and is most definitely not your daughter! Why are you kissing her hand you friggin' weirdo?
[Prosecutor] How did that make you feel?
[Me] It made want to kick him in the nuts. From behind.
[Prosecutor] Do you see Mr Cameron in the courtroom today?
[Me, pointing] Yeah, he's that big fat slob sitting right there. The one with the molester stare.

Like the fox guarding the henhouse, Philip Cameron assures us that he's keeping an eye on his Moldovan orphans and keeping them out of trouble. But who's watching Philip Cameron?

Congratulations on your 2011 Scammy award, Philip Cameron. Stay outta trouble big guy.


Most Shocking Clothing Choice by a 71-year old man
Jim Bakker preparing to sand off old paint
Jim Bakker is a human chameleon. We've seen him wearing both galoshes and waders while standing in water and reminding us to 'Be Prepared'. During the 'Danger Bakker' episodes back in May, Jim was on location in turnado town, rummaging through peoples' wrecked homes while wearing a cheap breathing mask like a house painter preparing to sand his work. Was it eye-catching, yes. Necessary? Probably not. But Jim, as we all know, doesn't worry about things like 'necessity'. He just wants your money,and he's prepared to dress obnoxiously if doing so falls into the current sales-week's job requirement.


Is Jim pissing his pants?
Fast-forward to June-July shows, and we see clips of Bakker cuttin' a rug in an electric blue blazer, contrasting loudly with a red shirt underneath. If we were wearing 80s era red-and-blue 3D glasses, Jim would have appeared three-dimensional to us and boy it wouldn't have been pretty...they showed a little bit of his dancing to us, and he just sort of bobbed up and down with his knees turned inwards like a kid that's gonna pee his pants with excitement.

But nothing to date has beaten what was witnessed just this past week. For this year's Christmas Show, Jim apparently opened his present early and wore it to a taping to surprise everyone. I'm not sure that Jim opened the right gift though, because the jacket looks a little more like something one of his daughter's would have bought for their young Goth boyfriend than something Lori bought for old Gramps.

Captain Corset arrives to save the day
It's an incredible jacket, something right out of a movie, if that movie were about a bellhop who becomes a SuperHero, goes back in time to serve as a Civil War General, dies, and is reborn as Michael Jackson. That Superhero's name: Captain Corset. But this isn't a movie, it's reality, and on a 71-year old man, the jacket is startlingly out of place. How did it come into Jim's possession? I find it hard to believe that a shop exists in Branson which sells this coat, it's far too cool. This is not something you find at Walmart, I don't even think it's something a person should wear in public: It's Rock Star gear, something the band wears at a concert. Say what I will about the coat though, I can't deny that it certainly sends a message to everyone at Morningside about just who is in charge here. "Jim Bakker's in charge here, that's why Jim Bakker's wearing this here coat!"

Because this coat is so grand, I don't think we'll ever see it worn again. It's his full Class A uniform, something worn mostly for parades and inspections. At year end, Jim has his own parade of sorts as he trots out all the people who worship and support him. And like any good Field Marshal, he inspects his paraded subjects for signs of disloyalty or protest, ferreting them out and sending them packing once another dumb schmuck becomes available for less.

For sheer rarity, Jim's Superhero jacket wins this year's Scammy for Most Eye-Catching Clothing Choice by Jim Bakker. Great choice Captain Corset, now go catch some criminals!


Biggest Crock of Shit
"I ever tell you about the time I parachuted into 'Nam?"
Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound! That's Superman's celebrated intro, and it may as well be fake Dr Larry Bates' intro, too. This guy knows it all, does it all, he makes things happen...all in his own mind. The latest news reports have this fat twerp's company ripping people off for thousands of dollars in gold and silver coins, but that doesn't deter Jim Bakker from having him on the show one bit. You see, Larry talks a really good game of bullshit, and he'll look you square in the eye while he does it. Is he ugly? Yes. Short? Yes. He's also fat. But most importantly, he's the winner of the 2011 Scammy Award for Biggest Crock of Shit. Larry portrays himself as an expert on all things, which probably includes masturbation given the ugly face he was cursed with. Hey Larry, how about staying off Bakker's show until you deliver those coins people ordered? Then go flush yourself down the toilet and go back where you belong.


Best Phony Jim Bakker Prophecy
Jim Bakker sowing fear
In the 'Why Won't This Got-Dang Prophecy Come True" category, we have multiple nominees to choose from. Snake Bakker, probably banking on a strong Bengali monsoon season, prophesied in May about mudslides and his dreaded but fun-to-say 'June En-tomb-ment'...then nothing happened. Was God wrong about 'June Entombments', or was Jim Bakker just making it up to sell product?


God's prophecy to Jim: "Jobs Died"
 He also presented a very odd past-and-future prophesy, whereby he declared upon Steve Job's death that God told him the death was prophetic because 'Jobs are dying'. To illustrate the prophecy, Jim showed a headline which read 'Jobs Dies'. The deception alarm whooped loudly in my brain when I read that, as I suspect the 'headline' was entered by a Master's Media student, making Jim's headline a fraud. No respectable journalist would refer to 'Steve Jobs' as 'Jobs', especially upon the man's death. When Jim Bakker's earthly world ends, will the headlines read 'Bakker Dies'? Of course not. They'll read, "Jim Bakker dies; all property confiscated". Or something like that.

Jim Bakker peddles fear, worry, fright, and terror.
And we'll never, ever forget Bakker's claim that 'the nation will run out of corn in August', especially when seeing delicious corn on the cob being served daily at any local Kenny Roger's Roasters (or similar country buffet). Bakker's corn prophecy even came sourced from two different entities: Jesus and Dr Larry Bates. But the big corn prophecy was not to be, leading some people, or at least myself, to consider Bakker an outright liar who pretends to hear from God in order to inflate his own bank account. And what a dilemma Jim's placed us in with his prophecy of food riots in 2012...I'll call bullshit on that one right now, but I very well can't give him a Scammy in advance for it.

Food riots are coming in 2012, says Jim Bakker
I've changed my mind. Because I am confident, so very confident, that Jim Bakker is a false prophet who lies at will about all things Godly, I'm awarding the Scammy for Best Phoney Jim Bakker Prophecy for Jim's bullshit prediction of food riots in 2012. Call it my very own prophecy. I don't know what it is, something just tells me that Bakker's full of crap when he makes predictions which coincidentally tie-in directly to the items he's selling that day.


'Be PREPARED! Buy my foodbuckets NOW!'
Are you a Bakker zombie who believes everything Jim says is true? Why don't you come out on record and say so, so I can point you back here next year when Bakker's phony prophecies are, once again, shown to be false. There's no problem if you're wrong, after all that's how people learn. You might even thank me for waking you up and out of your Bakker daze to see the truth. Trust me, you don't want to be nominated for next year's award for Most Amusing Inbred.



Most Amusing Inbred
Cross a beaver with the town drunk...
Two eyes, a couple'a teeth, and a burning desire to please their Lord, Jim Bakker. That's the basic composition of a Jim Bakker inbred. But these aren't just any inbreds. They're zombie inbreds: Brainless, smelly and mean old cusses. Asking me to pick the inbred that makes me chuckle most is like asking me to pick which episode of Three's Company is my favorite. The answer is all of the above. Remember that ugly critter that looked like the end result of an inter-species love affair between a drunk, lusty inbred and a sexually-adventurous beaver? And what about the lonely female inbred with the crooked mouth who listened dully to Jim Bakker as he worked her over with his sales pitch?

This woman is a disgrace to the human race.
We once had a normal-looking-on-the-outside inbred male who slurped down a spoonful of foodbucket slop while maintaining eye contact with Jim? This man's obedience to Bakker while eating was legendary...eyes trained on Jim like a dog on his master, he swallowed down that foodbucket slop and didn't even blink.

Bakker should just run an entire show profiling his inbreds, then declare to us, "If you look like, or want to look like, one of my fabulous specimens, order now!" It's almost a 'chicken or egg' question. Did Jim Bakker spawn all these animals, or did they spawn Jim?

'I'ma get me summa that Jim Bakker stew...Whooo boy!'
I like to think that they all hatched from the same large, rotten egg. Maybe toxic waste or radioactive material leeched into ground water somewhere near the Ozarks, eventually bubbling to the surface in a dark, stinky swamp used by brothers, sisters and cousins as a love jacuzzi. From there apparently all hell broke loose, giving us creatures like the color-blind inbred with long greasy hair and a corn kernel smile, and the cross-eyed stinker with the bowl-haircut and dual sex organs. I mean really, how else can this be explained if not by some horrible bastardization of nature? Is this a government experiment gone wrong?

"P.U.! You are a stinker!"
They are all spectacular to observe in their natural element. The Ozarks breeds some fine specimens, and they all seem to crawl down from the mountains and into Jim Bakker's la-la land. Are they tame? Do they carry fleas? Is their meat safe to eat? My list of questions literally extends into the hundreds. Do they sleep standing up? Are they egg-laying creatures, or do they give live birth? I think the only right thing to do here is to declare all Bakker zombies winners of the 2011 Scammy award for Most Amusing Inbred. Lord knows they need some winning in their lives.


Fattest Person on the Jim Bakker Show
"Eating again, eh Shorey?"
Making a thunderous splash for the third year in a row, Kevin Shorey easily wins the 2011 award for Fattest Person on the Jim Bakker Show. Considering that this is only the first year of the award, one can imagine just how far Shorey outgirths the rest of the field. He had a few challengers to the throne: The obnoxious Zach Drew. The thunder-thighed Elephant which graduated with the Master's Media class of '11. The enormous Bakker Zombie seated in the crowd one day. But one doesn't need a cattle scale to recognize Kevin's pure dominance of the category. To all new prospects, good luck unseating this massive beast. Challengers be damned, because Shorey's ownin' this one for a long time. Or at least until he collapses on-stage from congestive heart failure.


Stupidest Master's Media student
"I'm Zach Drew, and I'm a fat loser now that I sell for Jim."
The year started out with some very strong nominees. We had Mrs Charlotte Wintercorn walking the wrong way during a dance routine. And later in the year, Sasha came on strong with her retarded comments and general blathering. But for 2011, no student beats Zach Drew for sheer stupidity after he recently crossed over to the dark side to stand with Jim. While Mrs Wintercorn may not know her left from her right, she sure knew enough to hightail it outta Morningside and away from Jim Bakker. Zach not only keeps hanging on, he's now turning into a sales shill for Jim. Bakker probably bought this kid's integrity for two Twinkies and a Coke, but boy oh boy is Zach gonna learn the hard way. I hope he enjoys interrogation rooms, because the FBI's gonna be waterboarding him in one after it all comes crashing down for The Snake.

*Disclaimer* If we find out that Sasha is pregnant before the year is up, this prize will default to her.


Most Headache-Inducing Musical Performance
The Two-Headed Snake that is 'Paul Todd'
Do you like headaches? If the answer is a resounding 'Yes!', then have I got the father-son duo for you! They are called Paul Todd, because both of their names are 'Paul Todd'. Which one gets top-billing? I don't know, and I think that's going to cause some major bumpiness down the road in their way-too-close relationship. The son looks like an incarnated Satan. He does the singing and probably considers himself the true showman. The other face of this two-headed snake is the father, also Paul Todd, who looks like an incarnated sheep. This guy is the one packing those fat inbred asses into those narrow Morningside seats. His hair jumps immediately to the viewer's attention, as if to bite them. I don't know what sort of animal is resting atop his head, but I would wager a guess that whatever it is has already died. Why? Because if it were still alive, the music Paul Todd plays would have woken that thing up and caused it to howl, bark or hiss at him. His music is, in a word, intolerable.

Non-artist's rendition of non-musician's music
He thrashes about behind multiple keyboards, arms and legs flying at keys and pedals as if he were having an epileptic seizure. The noise this thrashing produces might be considered torture if used during interrogations. I once took the time to draw a picture of what this noise looks like within my own mind. It's horrible. Nothing complements anything else, there is no balance, it's all just colors added to a page. That is Paul Todd's music. Just random musical notes added to the air, and I use the term 'musical' as lightly as possible. If that shit transmits out of our atmosphere and into space, we are assured that alien life will either avoid visiting our Earth entirely out of fear, or that alien life will certainly come to visit Earth out of anger. The sound produced by the Paul Todd duo simply does not leave room for any middle ground.

What surprises does Jim Bakker have in store for us in 2012? Which new natural disasters will he exploit to sell product? How many prophecies will fail? Will Jim downplay the phony, un-Christian end of the world prediction for Dec 21 2012, or will he mention it incessantly to bully his viewers into buying foodbuckets? Will Zach still be lounging around Morningside, or will he be cast aside like Trystan and everyone else before him? Will Kevin Shorey bulldoze his way into the 400lb realm?

Tune in to the Jim Bakker Show to find out!

356 comments:

1 – 200 of 356   Newer›   Newest»
bakkersajerk said...

John, Paul, George, Ringo...........and Jim? What the hell?

Grandma Char Groupie said...

Jim is either the fifth Beatle or the white Michael Jackson. Take your pick.

Ron said...

That's a tough one Grandma Char Groupie. I see a lot of Michael Jackson in Jim, but I see an awful lot of Ringo too.

Grandma Char Groupie said...

Ringo has never claimed to be something he is not. He is a musician who earned his living the hard way after he started, like his bandmates, with nothing.

Bakker, on the other hand, truly believes he is a prophet and that those gangsta rap dancing, tit flashing teens are "Prophets In Training". How is Bakker preparing for the end times which will soon be upon us? Oh, that's easy. To properly prepare for the final days you must:
a) Buy an expensive lakefront home
b) Buy a new SUV
c) Buy an expensive condo and then throw your 15 year old daughter out of it so there's nothing left inside of it except you, your wife, and Ricky
d) build a new indoor swimming pool for more than $60,000
and e) a whole lot more but I think you get the picture

Grandma Char Groupie said...

Oh, I'm sorry I forgot the latest pitch from the "Urgent--We're Running Out Of Food" commercial. it seems as though Bakker is putting out the call for a 25 passenger bus so that he can take the "students" on outings with it. There are never more than 8 or 9 students enrolled in the college. Why in the world do you need a donated 25 passenger bus?

Ron said...

First the Sgt Peppers jacket and now a bus. Is Jim preparing to go to Woodstock?

Paul Todd Jr's Tailor said...

Yes. There is going to be a new Woodstock III. Bakker's second act on his new record label will be Paul Todd Jr and Master Bates,
along with Jim, will finance the new Woodstock
with illicit funds. Then it will be off to
New York where Sly Stone will be there to meet
up with Jim and take his money to record another album but instead will take all funds received and use them for the purchase of illegal drugs which will then cause the career of Paul Todd Jr to collapse at the same time. The Woodstock project will go bust and Jim will have to sell the bus to get money to pay off all the bands!

bakkersajerk said...

Perfect. Sgt. Pepper and the Magical Mystery Tour. He has the jacket now he needs the bus. BTW, no way is he channeling Micheal Jackson, Jim can't dance.

Paul Todd Jr's Tailor said...

Oh, I forgot to invite you, Ron, to stop by and see me at the tailor shop on Grace Street at Morningside when you have the chance. We can get you measured and out of there with a new suit for just under $5000. Just ask for Giuseppe when you come in and I'll personally wait on you. I think you'd look good in the "Paul Todd Jr" special. It is a nice ensemble that will provide you at least two years worth of growing room so you won't have to come back in so often. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Was watching the live feed the other day. Jim had Grandma Char on the trampoline. He was PUSHING those tramps out the door that day. Jim went on and on gushing about Grandma Char's cute figure. He then started in on Lori's cute figure and Lori's niece's cute figure, this girl would also be Grandma Char's granddaughter. He was talking about how great figures run in the family. It was so inappropriate that even loose Lori seemed appalled and ask Jim several times to quit talking about their bodies. The Jim Bakker freak show is getting freakier and sleazier every day!!!

Anonymous said...

Two fools have voted that Jim never cheated! So what was Jessica Hahn and the hush money all about?! How many more blind fools will support Jim and vote he never cheated! The Bakker zombies keep showing their ignorance.

Anonymous said...

2012 will provide viewers with more macabre adventures from the Morningside Big Tent Show featuring an elf-like ringmaster, clowns, cheap watches and bizzare acts.

Jerry FARTSWELL said...

Hmm, I think I will donate that BUS to my friend Little Jimmy Bakker!!

No Nonsense Norski said...

Great post, Ron! Thanks, I needed that!

JimBob has some competition: (And it's a GREAT deal!)

http://www.costco.com/Browse/Product.aspx?Prodid=11701830&cm_mmc=BCEmail_Jan2011MailerLP-_-Banner-_-01-_-MarketingItemName

So, what could be the next MUST HAVE in case of emergency or the End of the World, whichever comes first....there must be SOMETHING that JB is going to latch onto next.

Lets see....Gas Masks? Underground Shelter Building Kits? HazMat suits made out of parachute material? Freeze dried animals that just need (purified) water before butchering?

Even that Skanky Little Elf can't keep up his excited banter, pushing Food for Health, Silver Sol, Seychelle products, instant fire, and fake diamond jewelry forever.

Somethin's gotta give!

Oh, and JB's getting mighty Fast & Loose with his selling mantra.

Instead of the constant "For Your Love Gift...." drone, he's jumped directly into the Infomercial Standard, "Order TWO and get a THIRD FREE!".

Now, I ask you, Kids....isn't that just a tad tooo commercial for the Little Felon?

When will the Tax Man wake up?!? The Guvmint needs a piece of THAT action!

Anonymous said...

To anyone who knows what's up with the Morningside Master's Media I have a question.

The web page for Morningside Master's Media shows that an Allen Vann-Horn is part of the Executive Staff. Is this Allen the same person who worked for Teen Challenge in Florida? There was an Allen Vann-Horn allegedly fired by the Teen Challenge Program in Florida for embezzling from the ministry. Curious to know what the truth about this guy is. On the bio for Allen-Vann Horn on the Master's Media web page it says that the Allen Vann-Horn on staff has worked with Teen Challenge. Is this a coincidence or could there be two Allen Vann-Horns? Hmmmm.....

Brother Dortch said...

It certainly would not surprise me if the Allen Vann-Horn hired by Bakker is the same Allen Vann-Horn who was fired in Florida for embezzling from the Florida ministry. Prior to coming to Branson, the Bakkers lived and operated a small ministry in Florida so it would seem logical they could have met him there. This site is seen and viewed daily by Bakker's close inner management as well as his regular, ordinary employees also--not including present and past students. If anyone knows the answer to this question regarding Allen Vann-Horn please let us know.

Bakker's associates such as Larry "Master" Bates, Rick Joyner, and other so-called Christians of questionable ethical, moral, and legal backgrounds is enough to make me think this is the same Allen Vann-Horn. Many of his close friends have served federal prision time just like Jim has and I don't think Bakker would even flinch at the prospect of hiring an embezzler and placing him on staff. Let's get one of the many Bakker employees reading this to let everyone know for sure.

Anonymous said...

Bakker views anyone who did time in a prison as part of a brotherhood. He's proud of the time he served, he brings it up constantly thinking that it gives him a masculinity. Mondo did time, Bakker reminded him of that fact once. That so-called ministry is the proverbial "den of thieves", There is not much you can do about it this being a free country. At least this forum is a place you can bitch about those swindlers, polecats and sidewinders. What a bunch of rascals.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone know what happened to Bill Ballenger? He used to lead all those youth concerts and then suddenly that all seemed to stop...

Is this a case of yet another person gone? Jim seems to have a lot of turnover at Morningside.

bakkersajerk said...

Here's a coincidence, I was looking for info about the Paul Todd's (cause I need a new hairdo). I found out this evangelist Cecil Todd from Revival Fires which is located close to Jim. Turns out Rev. Cecil pronounced Jim reformed and welcomed him back to the mimistry and convinced him to relocate to Branson. And the Reverend Todd seems to have a checkered past of his own and his evangelical organization ran afoul of the SEC for fraud by selling bonds (sounds kinda like a pyramid type thing). Anyway, I thought it was odd how the slime trails intersect. I don't think Cecil and Paul are blood relation, but they are connected by slime.

Paul Todd Jr's Tailor said...

It is obvious Bill Ballenger has been wronged by Bakker at some point and now won't give him the time of day.

Anonymous said...

I think Kevin's mom left cause she was sick and tired of seeing Kevin treated with such disrespect.

Brother Dortch said...

Hi everyone!

Another person who has been royally screwed by this ministry, but is too dumb to know it, is Grandson James. While it is no secret that James’ Mom has serious issues with the ministry, James, himself, is being led down a path to nowhere under the cloak of being the “heir apparent” to his Grandpa’s throne. On his Facebook account, James calls himself a “Host” of JimBob’s show and nothing can be more wrong than this. James is, like the rest of the “students”, nothing more than a cameraman and has not been sitting up there on stage in at least six months or more. He also is learning how to edit the show and helps there too. Much like Zach Drew, James has to face the wrath of Jim & Lori in regard to each and every woman he wants to date. If they don’t meet with his Grandparent’s approval then they are out of there. You all remember Charlet Wintercorn. She was the former “student” with long red hair who used to do the control room updates and other video pieces at Morningside. Well, James liked Charlet and the two were dating until his Grandparents threatened him to stop it. Charlet left Morningside and James was very hurt by the whole situation. Charlet wasted no time in getting on with her life and is now married to a soldier in The United States Army while James, a big Harry Potter fan, spends most of his free time playing video games with Sasha and other “students”.

Can you imagine what would happen if suddenly Bakker would become unavailable and no longer able to head up the ministry? Under James’ leadership the entire thing will crumble and be out of business in a matter of days. James is not a confidence man and is too unskilled as a public speaker and salesman to raise the funds necessary to keep the operation alive. At age 22 or 23, James would serve himself well to get the heck out of there and get a job or get a real education at a real school and date who he wants to date. He is a little too old to be a puppet to his criminal Grandfather. He is not show host material for the Morningside Church and I hope one day he will awake from the dream he is having and realize this.

Awaiting The Sex Scandal said...

THE HILLBILLY 10 COMMANDMENTS

1) Ain't but one God.

2) Honor yer Ma and Pa.

3) No tellin' tales or gossipin'.

4) Get yer hide to Sunday meetin'.

5) Ain't nothin' come before the Lord.

6) Ain't no foolin' wit another feller's gal.

7) No killin' except fer critters.

8) Quit yer foul mouthin'.

9) No swipin' yer kin folks stuff.

10) Don't be hankerin' fer it neither.

Jimmy Maggart said...

What happened to James' brother???? I cannot even remember his name?
He seemed to have disappeared a while ago??
Oh, maybe he joined my ministry, to get away from Little Jimmy Bakker??

Brother Dortch said...

Dear Jimmy:

Thanks for the reminder. I should have mentioned what happened to James' brother above but did not. It is another part of the total embarrassment young James has been through. His brother's name is Jonathan and he was, for a few weeks, a Masters "student" until he walked out. You may remember that Doug Chapman, both boy's father (and former husband of Tammy Sue) was paraded on the show with his new wife and brand new, just born, little baby. Bakker was saying how wonderful the baby was and how proud he was to have the kid on the show and in the family. Shortly after this, Doug was given a job and hired by Jim at Morningside. Doug was then fired by Bakker and thrown out of Morningside causing son Jonathan to get so upset he left right with his Dad. Neither person has been back since and, the last I heard, Jonathan was on the road helping out Bill Ballenger with his Dad's blessing--who is also a friend of Ballenger. Also, either a present or former employee of Bakker said right after Doug Chapman's firing and Jonathan's walkout, that Tammy Sue allegedly placed a phone call to Morningside and had a few choice words to say about what she thought of the whole situation. It is highly doubtful you will ever see her at Morningside either. Meanwhile, Jamie Charles was offered a "name your own price" payment, as well as free airfare and accommodations, to attend Bakker's 50th celebration at Morningside and did not attend.

Just a little kid's opinion. said...

This comment has little to do with Bakker but more to do with the whole foodbasket thing itself. I mean in reality how practical are the foodbaskets in themselves. I can see the use of them in a bomb shelter or radiation shelter, but with the end of the cold war and the dismantleing of the former Soviet Union that idea is pretty much obsolete. Also, if a natural disaster does occur, say a flood, unless your able to mobilize those buckets to a new location they are going to end up in your submerged cellar. A tornado will bury them under tons of debris. The only use, and you don't need large quantites, is a hunting expedition. Even when your camping, you want hot dogs and hamburgers not corn chowder. Save your money, buy a lot of Slim Jims and Smoked Salmon and dried stuff. Your better off if you insist on throwing your money away needlessly.

Anonymous said...

The alarming thing about feeding desperate and hungry people during times of disaster is that you must be aware that things can get out of hand very quickly. I shake my head in disbelief everytime I hear Lori Bakker state on the show that she wants to barter for toliet paper or other items. Barter? You live in a dream world lady. If starving people hear that the Morningside compound has buckets of food they are not coming to barter. They will kick the doors in and steal what they can. To give the impression that the Bakker do about feeding hungry people in the name of Jesus can be dangerous. In most cases when you witness food distribution to the hungry masses it is done by armed soldiers. I don't object to helping feed people in times of need but there must be precautions taken.

Brother Dortch said...

READ THE LABEL on the foodbucket itself:

"*For best taste and nutritional value, use product before 20 years of manufacturing date when stored at 60° F (16.6° C) or 10 years of manufacturing date when stored at 70° F (21.1° C)"

How many people have one room in their home that remains a constant 60 degrees? At best, the average home will get 10 years shelf life and not the 20 Jim is selling and, in the event of a true natural disaster, those buckets will be either destroyed totally or literally carried away from your home by high winds or rushing water making them useless. It is a scam to make money--nothing more and nothing less. Don't fall for it!

Ron said...

This is how I imagine the barter system working in Jim's Time of Trouble:

"Gimme them foodbuckets old lady! And the necklace too!"

Anonymous said...

LOL!!!!

Anonymous said...

Mondo or Mongo or whatever will have no trouble, you know the #1 item in his survival kit would be a pistola and a machete. He'd have no qualms being the street kid he is to relieve someone of their rations when his goes dry. Survival of the fittest would kick in.

No Nonsense Norski said...

Yeah, didn't Mondo say something to that effect a month or so ago?

Something like roving gangs going door to door to take your food during the Time of Trouble...

Can't remember the exact words, but he was basically scaring the crap of every elderly person that was within earshot.

Anonymous said...

I hope they come to my house, and I'm elderly, they'd be greeted with some good old fashion double OO buckshot. I'll also open up with my Remington semi-auto. I figure God helps those who help themselves, but in my house God help those "caught" helping themselves. With Bakker all you'd need is a squirrel gun loaded with rocksalt.

Brother Dortch said...

Yes, Mondo did scare the holy crap out of everyone watching the Bakker show one day as he laid out, in detail, exactly how the Mexicans were going to feed their babies and themselves if the economy gets much worse. I heard him say it with my own two ears. He laid out not one, but two, scenarios to answer Bakker's question:

#1) Mondo claimed that the Mexicans would send 50 people into a convienience store and added that it would take no more than 3 of them to subdue the clerk. After the clerk is subdued, the other 47 would wipe the store clean of evey food item in the store.

#2) Mondo said that the Mexicans know it is the farmers who have the food so they would, as a gang, simply go to the farm where the food is and subdue the farmer and his family and take all the food so they could feed themselves and their babies.

burnjimburn said...

yeah, mondo did have a good point. i bet bakker gave him a lashing for that one. i really miss them showing digital renditions of end times to sell food buckets. i remember them showing a volcano's and ice storms destroy cities. them buckets sure would help in that scenario. wonder if bakker will sell kits to protect against roving cannibals in the end times? probably just a picture of lori to wreck all appetites.

Milhouse said...

Scare tactics is par for the course on that show. Fright works well with the ignorant, look at Nazi tactic during WW2. Those Ozark folks are not the quickest of cats even at the best of times. I doubt if it would well on the eastern coast of USA, mainly MA through NY. If you can't convince them logically use non-logical methods, propaganda 101.

burnjimburn said...

and philip cameron is probably the skeeviest slimeball to ever appear on the show. he is a blatant pederast.

face the facts................. said...

Bakker is a cheerleader for the state of Israel. My point is that I'm sure he is recieving some generous gifts from the Israel lobby, they are filling his coffers also. This guy is making money hand over foot. When you have exposure like his show does, it is inevitable

Anonymous said...

Last summer when Jim was interviewing Dino at his flooded house Dino said that his food buckets were in the garage. The garage was buried under water. Dino said something about them floating in there. Jim said when the water went down they would be ok and dry because they are air and water tight. Dino said yes they would be ok if they don't end up down the river before he could get to them. lol!! those buckets weren't available to him when he needed them!!! Same thing with a tornado. If your house is gone do you really think you're going to find your food buckets!! What a joke!

Anonymous said...

Another slime ball is that Jeremy the gardener guy. He was on the show a while back and Jim asked him what he would do if he had no food in storage when everything falls apart and his kids are starving. Jeremy on cue says "Of course I would go out and steal food for my kids". Yep the true sediments and behavior of a Christian. I don't think there is any doubt that Jim and associates aren't christians!

Anonymous said...

Tornado would turn those foodbuckets into sushi. It is just a bad all around idea. It give these old folks a sense of false security, Bakker talks about a loving God, a God of the new testament, while he uses tactics of a spiteful and jealous God. He's a strange man.

Anonymous said...

So can Someone tell me about this Kid Nate and jimmy boos daughter marie. like what in the name of bakker happen them i heard so much but want facts and who in the name of jim was this nate kid never seen him on this show someone help me please

Brother Dortch said...

One of the most distasteful remarks I have ever heard on any Christian broadcast was on a day when Bakker was pushing those paracord bracelets he sells. The paracord bracelet, when unwound, give you 14 feet of parachute cord that has a 350 pound strength tolerance. Bakker looked over at Mondo and said that it was too bad Mondo didn't have one of those bracelets when he was in the gang because he could have used it to kill people.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, I ask you: What type of so-called minister of God would broadcast a statement like that?

Anonymous said...

He's senile. If you believe anything about this whole ministry farce is even remotely about God, so are you. These are pigs at the foodbucket, look at Phil Cameron, I feel for those poor girls who have to go through great lengths to avoid his so-called "Christian" embraces, he cops a feel whenever he can. He makes Sandusky look like a amateur. Zach must stand outside the door prior to each show (like a barker at a cheap strip joint in New York) trying to convince pedestrians to come watch. The whole thing is sleezy, what you see is not what your going to get.

Anonymous said...

I agree that Jim is senile. One simply has to view the pre-shows before editing to see that. His memory sucks big time, he has trouble focusing his attention and is fairly confused about everything. Jim Bakker is a very selfish man as well. If you counted how many times in a show he says "me" or "I" it would be up a big number for sure.

Anonymous said...

Why the Brook's Brothers advert. on this page? I doubt if that majorette blouse Bakker had on the other day is from Brook's Brothers. What would compel a 70+ year old man to wear that? I'll bet by May, he'll be sporting a ear ring like his boy toy Nolan. What a fruitcake!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

To the poster two up. +1 on your observations about his I, me and my focus. Although I give him credit that he caught himself a couple of times and changed the reference to "our" to include lori in the loop.

No Nonsense Norski said...

JimBo Senile? Maybe, but I doubt it..... yet.

He does, however, have some interesting characteristics: Narcissistic, Control Freak, Advanced ADD, Slippery, Liar, Fear Mongering, Conniving User.

Thanks for the refresher, Brother Dorch. I remember that show - nearly fell out of my chair when I heard Mondo's "predictions".

Glad someone else heard that little speech too.

Unbelievable!

Say it like it is! said...

Bakker's not senile. That supposes a lack of rationality, a he does not know what he's doing approach so let's not hold him responsible.. He knows exactly what he does, don't give a reason or his lapdogs a reason to dismiss his actions as free will and attribute it to a mental issue. He's a bastard, don't minimize it, a scoundrel, a rogue, dastardly and disgraceful.

bakkersajerk said...

Say it like it is knows the truth. Everything Jim touches turns to shit. There have already been many lives ruined by his false Christianity. Once Morningstar folds up shop there will be more. Maybe not on the scale of PTL and Heritage but there wil be manyy and there should be more people that will have to answer how this would be allowed to happen again. Aferall, Jim has a very public criminal record for doing exactly what he's doing now.

Uncle Henry said...

C'mon now Guys & Gals, What would we do if The Jim Bakker Show comes off the air?????
It is, by far, the BEST REALITY TV show on the air!! LOL Admit it people!! LOL

No Nonsense Norski said...

Amen, Uncle Henry! :-))

Anonymous said...

I am enjoying all these comments very much and of course Ron's efforts are spot on! I am confused with Jim and Lori Bakker's current children that they mention on their show. I know of Tammy and Jim's kids Tammy Sue and Jamie and beyond that I have not a clue. Can someone help me out?

Susand3935 said...

I too am confused by all the Bakker children where did they all come from did Jim and Lori really adopt them?

cool it dudes; said...

Give the guy a break. Maybe he's learned, after all he did his time. I like Bakker a lot better then that guy Ernest, who syas "expect a miracle" and cures all kind of deadly diseases, at least Bakker doesn't pull that spiel. Take the guy with a grain of salt, after all it's entertainment. He's not responsible for all the stupid suckers in the world, he's a salesman, a used car dealer par excelance.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, but I can't give a break to a man that sucks money out of bank accounts of elderly and sick persons with claims that the end of the world is at hand.

Anonymous said...

I know Jim Bakker hasn't changed. All Jim has learned is how to play the con game better!

Say it like it is.......... said...

He's smart, imagine how many elderly people have died and left their bank accounts to that dude. People need to recognize that the word "con" when it applies to Bakker and Mondo is a verb as well as a noun.

Anonymous said...

That guy Dino reminds me of a Vampire, he's looks like a living dead. What's up with him? Is he some kind of straight man's Liberace?

Anonymous said...

Yes same Allen and Gwen Vann-Horn that was just fired from morningside

Anonymous said...

He takes elderly peoples money and buys a huge Jesus statue delivered from China. That's the lords work.

Anonymous said...

Jim Bakker said everyone who has ever did him wrong, God has killed them.

Anonymous said...

The 2 youngest kids are the only real adopted ones, the rest just lived with him.

bakkersajerk said...

Yes 4:43 pm he did say that. That's because he needs to remind the zombies not to doubt him. Otherwise, everyone outside of his slimey cult would be dead. God rest my soul.

Anonymous said...

I thought the world would be out of food by August 2011?

Anonymous said...

IRS needs to audit Morningside Church And Jim Bakker http://www.irs.gov/individuals/article/0,,id=106778,00.html its running as non for profit but there is clearly profit. He is living too well hiding behind the ministry. He should not be allowed to live in such expensive homes or buy huge statues at his whim or spend $70 on a pool house. That money should go to pay back the people he frauded and his IRS bill. Or better yet give it back to these elderly people who are scared its the end of the world. I can't believe he doesn't feel guilty.

Anonymous said...

Sorry $70,000 not $70

Anonymous said...

http://www.ehow.com/how_5099703_report-fraud-nonprofit-organization.html How to Report Fraud in a Nonprofit Organization


Read more: How to Report Fraud in a Nonprofit Organization

Anonymous said...

God is Jim Bakker personal Hit man. You mess with Bakker and you mess with the Lord. That shows how his mind works, by saying the Lord has bumped off all his enemies. He must have s touch of paranoia.

Anonymous said...

Hi all. In my humble opinion Jim can sell all the foodbuckets he wants to the dim wits who big into his doomsday fear tactics. For those followers who receive comfort and hope from this program hey......takes all kinds of idiots to make the world go round. The poor will always be with us the Bible says,and the simple hillbillies will always be with us too. My problem with bakker the faker is that he needs to.be accountable for.his statements. As far as I Can see, we do not have any corn shortage
Answer up,Jim. And as for him starting, creating, and founding the 700 club, I think pat Robertson wound disagree wholeheartedly. Jim and Tammy worked on the 700 club during its early years, and I'm sure were a part of its success. However, they did not found it. Answer up, Jim. A man of God is answerable and to.be held responsible for his words
Sorry for.typos
...using my smartphone keyboard which is difficult for me

Grandma Maxine said...

My vote for the best kiss would have to be the one Nate Parkhurst was giving daughter Marie when Jim caught them. This caused Nate to be expelled from MMC, and Marie to be sent to a boarding school in Alabama.

Awaiting The Sex Scandal said...

I just wanted to take a moment out to thank the Morningside employee(s) for the very accurate information regarding the dismisal of both Masters Media directors, Allen & Gwen Vann-Horn. We can now add these two to the very long list of fired directors of the sham school. Also, if you employees have any more information regarding the alleged sex scandals there please share. We have thousands here that would love to know. Thanks again.

Ron said...

Regarding Dino, he chopped his face up to try and make himself look like Barry Manilow.

Hah Grandma Maxine, that would surely be a front-runner! Expelled from school...Nate's gonna live that one up right-good back at the ranch!

Anonymous said...

How can you be expelled from a school that's not a school?

Nedzo said...

The word for 2012 is "CONFUSION", talk about confusion, just watch Little Jimmy Bakker in action!! LOL!!

Uncle Henry said...

I'm waiting for the Limited Edition Jim Bakker jackets to go on sale!!
Buy 2 & get a third FREE!!
You seen it being worn by the Boss on the Christmas show!! NICE!! Real NICE!!
I think it will be available in EIGHT Colors, to match his "NOW" hats.
HMM, now which colors do I want??

Anonymous said...

Another person of questionable repute is gone from the Jim Bakker ministry. Birds of a feather flock together, until you get found out! Interesting indeed! It's amazing that the Bakker supporters don't question anything! If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck.....lol

Scammy awards, lol. Ron, Your blogs just keep getting better and better! Wonder what Jim's predictions, eerr, oops, I mean prophecy's for 2012 will be!

Anonymous said...

Well said Nedzo.

Anonymous said...

Bakker's website has Theron and Lenora Ventura as the new Morningside Masters Media directors.

Kelsey said...

I woke up this morning and wanted to check right in and see if there was a new post. Fantastic! My birthday follows Christmas closely, and this post with these comments was a spectacular present! Awesome work, Ron. You are the only writer who has ever made me LAUGH OUT LOUD!

And thank you Brother Dortch - your inside information and background helps keep it all in perspective.

Anonymous said...

Poor Theron. That probably means his days are numbered. No one seems to last very long in that position!

Buddy's Buddy said...

Someone with good video editing software needs to create a montage of all the times Jim has said, "If you buy two..." or "We'll sell this one..." or "Order now..." etc. and send it to the IRS and the FTC. This is CLEARLY not a charity or non-profit.

Also, did anyone hear on the Dec. 29th broadcast where Jim tried at first to say that they'd given food away, but then segued into what he really meant by saying that the food people were buying showed the good work they were doing....getting people ready for the end times? He never did say to whom or how much food was given away. I'll bet none.

More dire predictions last night, as well: "Europe is crumbling - coming apart. The Euro is going to be worth nothing soon." I wonder how many of the 15 or so inbreds in the audience even know what a Euro is?

Brother Dortch said...

Hi everyone and thank-you Kelsey!

A woman wrote in another forum that she or a friend had written Bakker to ask his help in donating some of that freeze dried food to people who truly have a need for it right now. I believe it may have been right after the town of Joplin, MO was 75% wiped off the map. She received a letter back saying that Bakker's ministry was a "preaching ministry only".

Meanwhile, over on Phil's site a viewer decided, for the heck of it, to time the actual selling time of Jim's show -vs- preaching time. The total show is 58:30 long and 54:00 of that time was spent selling. I expect that none of this makes a difference or matters to Bakker's followers. They are worshipping Jim more than they are God.

I totally agree with what has been said here before. Bakker could stand up in front of these dimwits, such as the man pictured above with the greasy mullet haircut, and say the moon is made of cream cheese and they would think about it for a second and say: "Oh yes...I've heard that too. Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Anonymous said...

I have to hand it to Bakker, he is good at his craft, a natural orator when the rent comes due. He is obvious in many ways though, that's my complaint with him. He's not a humble character that's evident, and what he says about wealth and money and really feels in his heart about the two things are contradictory. If he could control that, he would make out like a golden gigolo. The trouble is those below him on the food chain are too scared to suggest things, being all "Yes" men/women. It is a reason why many "dictators" fail eventually, self strangulation.

Anonymous said...

Theron and Lenora will last. Lenora and her mother have been the book keepers for this sham ministry for quite awhile now. Jim's salary is $400 a week. Seriously!!! That is some book keeping! lol

Brother Dortch said...

Yes, Jim's salary is $400 a week. He announced that on his show but what he failed to announce is that the I.R.S. is garnishing that paycheck for payment of back taxes. Therefore, he is taking home less than a manager at McDonald's would make--about $300 a week. He also recently announced on his show that, because of his criminal past, he will never be permitted to own anything in his own name ever again but, to quote him directly,

"I just love spending the church's money!"

Anonymous said...

Yes, but his true paycheque will come from his wife Lori's bank account I can well imagine. You can probably bet that it will be much high than $300.00 a week.

Malarkey said...

And you believe it?? That he makes only $300 to $400 a week. I've seldomn seen him wear the same outfit twice. Last year, I think, he drove on stage with a brand new truck. With all the vacations he takes, he doesn't get a couple of weeks a year only. He claims to have about 5 kids living with him, and they are not living on love only. None of these preachers on the tube are making only $400 a week him included. If you believe he makes that you should have a front row seat to his ministry program.

Anonymous said...

And what about the cost of Bakker's growing Now ballcap collection! That would take lots of hard cold cash to own all those beauties.

Ron said...

Thank you for the high compliment Kelsey, glad I could create a few laughs for you! :)

To those people who run Bakker's books: If you see funky stuff going on, don't forget that the IRS will reward whistleblowers with $ for letting them know. This is a man who is unethically enriching himself off the backs of others, and using the Bible to do it.

Ask yourself this question: 'Who makes all the money for Morningside?' The answer is obviously Jim Bakker. So then ask yourself, 'Why isn't Jim being paid the most?' Why would he receive only a few hundred dollars a week? How can he afford multiple vacations and other luxuries, when he makes so little? Who has the money in this organization and why are they receiving it?

I asked Jim on another blog to make Morningside's finances public for all the partners to see. The response: crickets. You, dear reader, know as well as I do that many churches volunteer this information without having to ask. But not Jim. Why not? Aren't we all partners with you, Jimbo? How many millions of dollars does Morningside make each year? Who gets paid what? You'd think an honest 'ministry' would be forthcoming with this information. Not Morningside.

NONE of his prophecies came true this year. NOBODY has needed to use a foodbucket or parachute bracelet. The ONLY person benefiting from this sham ministry is Jim Bakker and any person he deems necessary to continue the charade. Call him out. Report him. It's wrong.

Man oh man Bakker is a scoundrel. He's probably down in Florida right now getting his face inflated with Botox as a Christmas present to himself.

Brother Dortch said...

Dear Mr. Malarkey:

That is what the books say. Let me repeat that so it is clear and you totally understand it:

THE BOOKS SAY HE MAKES A GROSS SALARY OF $400 PER WEEK.

Why do you think so many people are so fuming mad who come on to this very forum, including the man's own employees? Certainly there is money being funnelled to him since it is IMPOSSIBLE to have 4 months vacation a year and live the lavish lifestyle he does (again).

He does NOT have 5 kids living with him. The three eldest daughters all turned 18 and got the hell out of there the minute the clock struck midnight on their 18th birthday. He now has one child living at home, Ricky (age 14). Marie (age 16) was thrown out of the house, at very high expense, to out-of-state boarding school in Southern Alabama which is costing the Bakkers a fortune. The brand new SUV was bought by the church for Bakker's wife and then put right on Grace Street with a ribbon and bow on it for all to see. It is probably in the church's name.

Don't like it? File a complaint! But, let me save you the time and effort by telling you, in advance, what will happen if you file a complaint--Nothing. These television ministries are big business and they act like it. Yes, there is a good argument that one can put forth that what they are doing is unethical and immoral and, to that, I certainly will agree. But it takes something illegal to effect change and, so far, no laws have either been broken or nobody has been caught breaking them. It will be then, AND ONLY THEN, that you will see changes made. Can I get a witness? Amen!

Malarkey said...

Oh, I don't doubt for one iota of a second that what you present is not accurate. No way in hell is that guy banking only $400 a week. If the last venture (PTL) has taught him anything it is to seek the advice of Attorneys. He has money squirreled away like Whitey Bulger did, he's not going to make the mistake of going to prison again.

Brother Dortch said...

Mr. Malarkey:

Listen to what you are saying. You are agreeing with me totally. I am sure he has attorneys looking after his best financial interests but, in order to have a bank account in the name of James Orsen Bakker, one needs to have a social security number attached to that account. The minute the name Jim Bakker & his social security number shows up, the money will be seized by the I.R.S. Now THAT is highly accurate. If what you present is true, and he has money squirreled away like Whitey Bulger did, and it is illegally banked, it will send him back to the big house in a New York minute and, like you say, he is far too smart for that and he will do anything to stay out of a second term in federal prison.

sideshow bakker x2 said...

I like Bakker, he's the "Milli Vanilli" of Christian Pop Culture. He's on his way to the top 50 swindlers of all time list, which includes Ponzi and Maddorf. I think if a person gets burnt once they should at least learn from it. What's with his followers?

Cindy B. said...

Bro Dortch is correct. If a "John Doe" bank account full of money is found out, by the Feds, to be Bakker funnelling church cash to himself, he is toast. If he is just mooching off the church and his wife and mother-in-law's wages and they have paid taxes on their wages I doubt they can do anything to him.

titicutt follies said...

He's funneled money to Jessica, hush money, I'm not saying he funnels to a off shore bank, cause obviously I don't know and it would be wrong to even suggest. But really,.......would that be so much different???????

Anonymous said...

Jim said that the internet is an evil place and that when used for bad like this site it has the devil's soul in it. That it has the potential to detroy lives. Why can't you talk about all the good Mr Bakker does, Lori's house, Stella's house, Morningside help and Master's Media for disadvantaged children wo are given a chance to succeed.

Grandma Char Groupie said...

OMG! We should have known this volley of postings would bring out Jim Bakker, himself, and there he is!

HELP RON.............HELP !!!

Anonymous said...

Oh don't kid yourself, I'm pretty sure Mr. Bakker drops in here now and then to have a look around.

Got to measure the waters once in a while. said...

It is wise and Machivellian to always "keep your friends close but your enemies.......closer!:

bakkersajerk said...

Lol @ 3:45. Jim has put way more people in the poor house than he has helped. To put it in Jim's words "I'm not drinking that!“
Amen to Bro. D.
Thanks Ron for exposing Bakker. The way he runs off help, eventually someone in the know will tip off the IRS to the money.
Untill then, I'll keep reading and posting on this site and wait for God to strike me down for speaking out against the fake preacher and prophet.

Anonymous said...

Ha, Ha.....and the devil isn't in Jim's lying and scamming! What a joke, Jim and those defending him are so far in the abyss they can't find their way out! If the internet was around the first time he was playing this game the crook would have been caught quicker! Congratulations everyone, keep up the good work exposing the liar in chief. It's really ticking him off. It makes playing the con game harder for him! He is getting so desperate that he has to threaten us with God is going to strike us down. Lori's house and Stella's house are another joke. The are good decoys in the shell game he plays! If Jim is worrying about cleaning up evil he should start with his ministry and his people! Start preaching to those in your midst Jim. The people at Morningside take evil, gossip, and slander to a whole new level!

Cameron Is Not My Dad said...

Be very thankful, Mr. Jim Bakker, your Masters Media “College” is a church run workshop and not a secular brick and mortar business calling itself a “College” because, if it were the later, you would have been arrested and taken out of there for fraud a long time ago. Who ever heard of a “College” that did not employ so much as one professor? Well, all of the “students” who were stupid enough to be conned into joining it now know it is a sweat shop solely designed to line your pockets and nothing more.

What’s next? How about a house full of pregnant women, “Lori’s House,” that is being staffed by illegal and unlicensed “Mid-Wives” instead of licensed RN’s who can command nearly $100,000 a year? Go ahead. I dare you to try that one. In fact, I wish you would. You would surely then find your way back into the showers at the joint playing that game we know you’re familiar with called “Drop The Soap.”

Anonymous said...

To Jim Bakker or his fan or whoever posted the foolish statement about this site ruining lives.....how about all the lives Jim and his lies have ruined?!!! That isn't a problem in Jim Bakker's demented mind. The narcissist believes he doesn't do anything wrong!

Anonymous said...

Theron and Lenora was thrown over from higher positions to lowley Master's kids babysitters. This is usually how they do people they want to get rid of. Jim has 2 new conartist to replace them and they are Jerry Jones and Wendy Youngblood. A hot new couple in the Jones Town of Morningside.

Anonymous said...

The opening picture of Jim Bakker squealing like a pig after a successful 2011 says it all! Great stuff Ron! All the best in 2012.

Anonymous said...

The good works Jim does? Go to his website. There was some funny business with the foodbuckets for the orphans at Stella House. He took up "contributions" for food to send to Moldova. Then he says "oops we can't send the food due to some government regulations". So the foodbucksts that were donated for this "good cause" are in Jim Bakker's warehouse (ready for sale), and the money that people gave for those foodbuckets it's well somewhere.....probably in his and Cameron's pockets...or maybe he's screwing his criminal counterparts now also and just pocketed the money. Gotta pay for that huge cabin on the lake, the beautiful speed boat, leather furniture for the cabin, and all the other expensive furnishings, etc. etc. etc somehow!

Funny someone commented on Jerry Jones. He and his family have been taking lots of vacations. He is living really good also. What a bunch of turds!

Awaiting The Sex Scandal said...

Can somebody describe the beautiful new speedboat on the lake? That is one piece of equipment it is going to be very hard to place in the the church's name unless, of course, it is part of that new "aqua ministry" Bakker was given a message from God to invent. Can you imagine Cameron & JimBob out there in that boat with nothing but themselves and the Moldovan girls on board? I can smell trouble there for sure--big trouble.

No Nonsense Norski said...

Good point regarding Lori's House...

Hiring licensed medical doctors, nurses & counselors, providing the medical equipment, and sustaining daily operations is a Big Ticket Proposition!

Jim's going to need a lot more Grandmaws and Grandpaws to pony up the big bucks to make that happen.

And, the State of Missouri would no doubt be interested in who is hired and how this medical business is run. You can't hide under the cloak of religion while publicly advertising a "Home for Unwed Mothers", can you?

Stella's House conveniently cannot be monitored as it's halfway around the world. Sounds more like Stella's House amounts to the same money hiding scam used by so many large American corporations. Instead of Switzerland, Jim's got Moldova.

How about this for a Gramma Maxine visual: Can't you just see her crawling into that yellow tarp/pup tent? Or floating down the river grasping onto that inflated Emergency Bag? Oy!

Wait and see. said...

Lori Bakker seems like a sincere person. Her past is her past, We've all done things that on hindsight we would pass over a second time, Jim, well Jim is Jim, the one who gets me is that Cameron guy, what's his motivation? Those girls seem to be stuck between a rock and a hardplace with what they have to endure. I hope I'm wrong but to me something "isrotten in the state of Denmark" there.

Anonymous said...

Complete information about Lori's House is hard to find on the Bakker's Morningside website. You would need in my option a staff of professional social workers, lots of volunteers and a House Mother ( probably Lori ). It would need to be licensed by a government agency yearly as well I would imagine.
I'm viewing the need of Lori's House as a place for counselling, support and not a facility where the women give birth at so you probably would not need professional doctors and nurses on site. Just my thoughts and I could be very wrong but as I said before there is very little information concerning this place. It could be that the Morningside executive don't know either and have a "just building it and think about that part later" attitude.

Anonymous said...

How are they going to monitor the unwed pregnant girls? They can't even control their own daughter and the Masters Commission kids!

Anonymous said...

I have to say that I wish Jim showed a little more respect to Kevin. He treats Zach like he's God almighty and Kevin like burnt toast. Comments directed to Kevin "happiness to Kevin is opening up a big box of chocolates", "Kevin, did you know we have 12 months in a year", comments of that nature. Comments regarding Zach, "Zach, looks a Football player!!" "Zach got an A+ on his thesis", "Zach has seen God", "Zach is a Prophet". Kevin is like a foot stool and dish cloth there. Kevin tell Bakker to get bent and to shove it, you don't need that aggravation.

Anonymous said...

Kevin brings it on himself. In the last month or so during the Jim Bakker Show openings I've seen Kevin during his intro peek from behind his lastest Christmas cd and another time holding a rose by the stem in his teeth. Goofy! He's an easy target for Jimbo's cheap shots.

Grandma Char Groupie said...

What happens at Lori's House is not going to be dependant on Jim or Lori. It is going to be strictly regulated by The State of Missouri. One thing is for sure there. If Jim thinks he is going to run the place with the seat of his pants attitude and unprofessionalism that he has run the college like he is in for a rude awakening. I would suspect the girs will just be there prior to giving birth and then give birth at the hospital. If I am wrong then there must be laws in place requiring medical doctors being in place at the facility. Bakker's hillybilly honeys, who work for free, will not be able to take the place of medical professionals. That's for sure. Jim is fooling around here in a medical area that could bring him down real fast if he is not careful. Why is he even doing this in the first place? Obviously it is to sell the babies and make the profit. That is why Jim does anything.

No Nonsense Norski said...

GCG said: Why is he even doing this in the first place?

Remember Cindy Jacobs screaming her "prophecies" to Jim & Lori earlier this year? Something about how Jim will be recreating the Home for Unwed Mothers and It Shall Be Called Lori's House and it will be Bigger & Better than the Pregger's House at Heritage USA?

Money! Money! Money! Money! Money! Money! Money! Money! Money!

Ms. Jacobs (as well as her dipshit neutered husband) is such a LOAD. Acts like some Suburban Half-wit Housewife who got a hold of too many barbiturates and has been hallucinating for the last oh-so-many years.

She called the Native Americans in Texas cannibals!

http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2011/09/cindy-jacobs-rick-perrys-prayer-rally.html

"The Native American people were cannibals and they ate people. And so you can see a manifestation of that in the churches where people turned against people and kind of cannibalized other people’s ministries. So there’s been a lot of prayer over that in Houston, Texas, they’ve done a lot of intercession over that and broke the curses on the land. We just had a prayer meeting in Houston a little a week ago, the governor of Texas, really as an individual instigated this, and 35,000 people showed up to pray and it was only a prayer meeting called within three months, three month period of time. So what happened? The land is starting to rejoice, you see, because of that prayer." - Self-proclaimed prophetess Cindy Jacobs.

What?!? How brain-dead-stupid does a person have to be to even LISTEN to this dreadful crone?

Anonymous said...

To 12:58: You're absolutely right, he wears these ballon pants that look ridiculous on him with a fireman's suspenders. Then he acts the hayseed with goofy intro moments almost begging you to buy his CDs. Have some dignity for God's sake. Then he has a Youtube commercial where he's wearing a bathrobe and a numbskull's conical hat, playing the dube to some Tom Cruise wannabe. Then he thinks people are going to take him serious and finally, he always looks scared around Bakker.

Anonymous said...

Philip Cameron, Master Bates, Cindy Jacobs, Dr. Water, Franchesco, Rick Joiner & His Criminal Cast of 1,000's and JimBob...I have never seen so many con artists on stage in my life!

Anonymous said...

The shining moment in the 2011 Jim Bakker Show season was when Jimbo sheepishly took credit for "inventing" the radiation water filter. A personal high point! Loved it!!

They are silly ducks>>>>>>>> said...

That was the other one, the water guy, who discovered the principle of reverse osmosis. That guy is comparable to a Edison or Westinghouse. True genius.




e

All I can add is^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ said...

Pastor Bakker fleeces no one, all is given through free will and faith. Jim lays it on the line what's up, he then leaves it to the viewers to decide for themselves. Jim displays a product, he's honest about the product does not embelish it like some of these televised Knife shows that sell cutlery for a buck. We are all adults we all know the caveat "buyer beware", no one returns his product. I don't know what the fuss is, people feel good about giving knowing the money goes to help others.

Buddy's Buddy said...

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Anonymous said...

All I can add^^^^^^

Has brain damage from drinking the kool-aid. It's the only explanation I can think of for all the thoroughly stupid remarks.

Anonymous said...

I watch the show cause I think Sasha is pretty hot, and there was another girl who was standing on the side of Zach and Nolan who has hot also.
Bakker should get more good looking girls, he can call them "Bakker's Beauties" and his audience would include more yougsters. That's the only way, he's not going to reach the younger generation with some of those cavemen and dinosaurs he has on the program preaching about this and that. That's why I watch the Spanish channel cause of the girls, he should get more pretty girls, make it interesting.

Kelsey said...

Bakker doesn't need a young viewing audience - because young people have no money! It's the elderly with their Social Security and retirement that he needs.

I found it laughable this week that Bakker was selling a CD-Rom of the Bible - all different versions including Greek and Hebrew translations for a love gift of I don't remember. Just go to Biblios.com or BibleGateway.com and you've got the same thing for free. I used it yesterday to look up "false prophet".

Hey Bakker - you want to know what "wrath of God" looks like in Greek?

Ron said...

I wonder if Jim is wearing that jacket tonight for his very own New Year's Rocking Eve?

bakkersajerk said...

I think he's wearing the jacket and partying with All I can add^^^^. Of their own free will of course. Probably will need to "push" extra product next week to pay for it though.

Grandma Char Groupie said...

A lot of the women at Lori's House, especially the ones with problem pregnancies, are going to need prescribed meds and injections (perhaps in the middle of the night) and will not be able to be delt with by social workers or volunteers. Let one of those ladies be given a shot or a prescription pill by one of Bakker's hillbillys and the place is shut down and JimBob and Lori may just bo going away for a while. Who knows? It may even be good for business since, when they come back, Lori can say she has now been in prison too. How sweet!

Anonymous said...

lol, Grandma Char that is what is missing on Lori's resume...prison time. We can hope that 2012 will take care of that, for her, and for the many others aiding and abetting this con man!

Anonymous said...

Amen!

Anonymous said...

Jim Bakker predicts the world will not end this year. Either way he comes out ahead, I mean if it did end, who would be around to say he was wrong. I agree that Kevin should tell Bakker to take an example from his fingers and get bent. I predict that this year will be Zach's year, Bakker is grooming that boy for something big in the corporation.

burnjimburn said...

i really hope that jim wrecks his boat loaded with his cronies and they all die.

burnjimburn said...

it would be nice if lori's house got busted and it led to phil cam's houses in Moldova getting shut down, because those girls are def getting abused over there.

All I can add is^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ said...

If the girls are over 18, even if there is hanky-panky going on (which I doubt) it is consensual, I'm referring to Mr.Cameron. I'm sure that if Pastor Bakker suspected Mr. Cameron and his project of malfeasance he would distance himself PDQ. I mean look at the situation rationally, if what you suspect is true and it came to light. It would do irreparable damage to Pastor Bakker just by the theory of association. Don't jump to groundless conclusions, and maintain an open mind. That all pastor Bakker asks, we all deserve that and you'll never have regrets.

Cameron Is Not My Dad said...

Zach Drew, cut that shit out! You fat buffoon!

bakkersajerk said...

There is no such thing as consentual rape. And Jim has failed to distance himself from from people with questional repute, Ron has provided a great list of fakes associated with Jim.

Ron said...

You don't think 'Pastor Bakker' does irreparable damage to himself every time he fake cries on camera?

bakkersajerk said...

I don't think Jim is even an ordained pastor. If I remember correctly, he resigned his ordination with the A of G. I don't think can legally perform a marriage unless he's found some other organization to ordain him.

Cindy B. said...

Zach Drew is the only idiot at Morningside who refers to JimBob as "Pastor Bakker". He has just gotten back into Morningside after being home in Chicago for Christmas break. Obviously he is bored.

Hey Zach! Why don't you go over to Grandma Maxine's and get ya some, you inbred!

Brother Dortch said...

Hello everyone and Happy New Year!

Bakker was thrown out of the Assemblies Of God due to the crimes he committed. No, he did not go through any of the rehabilitation steps put forth by the organization to regain certification and then be re-certified. His right hand man, who ended up testifying against him in court, did go through the rehabilitation process and was subsequently reinstated and re-entered the Assemblies Of God church as a Pastor. Bakker did not. The problem with the "good old boys" southern church certification process is that the good old boys simply ordain each other. There is absolutely no schooling or training of any sort required. Being ordained as an independent pentecostal pastor is as simple as knowing another pentecostal pastor. It is a worthless appointment but is, according to U.S. law, legal. I am sure Bakker has manipulated this sham ordainment law to find some sham organization to certify him. It is very easy to do. Also, please remember that Bakker also resigned as Pastor for the Morningside Sunday morning church in-house. All duties there are now handled by a no-name "Associate Pastor". That is a tiny church (no money in it) attended by the elderly who live there and has no youth ministry whatsoever. That is the church that tarred and feathered and rode Susan Ruiz out of there on a rail. The college students all attend another different church which has a youth ministry whose name was announced one day on Bakker's show. It is not, in any manner, owned by Bakker or Crawford or connected with Morningside in any way. As correctly stated above by Kelsey, he does not need a youth ministry. Bakker B.S.-ed Bill Ballenger into thinking he was "Director of Youth Ministry" and jerked him around by lying and cheating him out of everything he could. I am sure that is why Bill Ballenger, if he saw Bakker on fire by the side of the road, wouldn't pull over and get out and pee on Jim to put out the flames!

Anonymous said...

Jim Bakker preys on scaring old people,people with no common sense .. People who was raised being told to listen to preachers. What he is doing is wrong!!! He isn't saving anyone. He never preaches anything. He only ask for money and try's to sell things. How can anyone think this is ok? Then he uses this money through the ministry to live like a rich man. He takes expensive trips. Has plastic surgery and Lori too. He lives in luxury. How can this be a non for profit organization. Buys huge statues and call it Jesus. It's against the 10 commandments. Engraven image.

Anonymous said...

Bill Ballenger lives well in the name of kids, so don't make him a saint. He goes where the money is offered. He is a con artist too. When Jim wouldn't give him anymore money he left.

Anonymous said...

Ya Jerry jones and his family draw nice paychecks and are hardly even seen at morningside.

Anonymous said...

Wendy Younblood is having an affair with someone at morningside and has now separated from her husband.. Jim Bakker doesn't mind this sort of stuff.

Anonymous said...

I was out in branson a while back and seen Mondo, Jim Bakkers son and he was drinking hard and smoking cigars.

If it quacks like a duck!!! said...

To 4:23^^^^^: Nothing you list is evil in itself. Plastic surgery, Big homes, Living Well, Big salary. All these are materialistic and do not last. What Jim has that a lot of people who have the above listed is LOVE, love in his heart and compassion. The worst Spiritual Baloney is L.Ron Hubbard's Scientology and I'm sure you folks who condemn Jim have no qualms of conscience when it comes to seeing a Tom Cruise or John Travolta film knowing that large proceeds go to that bogus faith or whatever it terms itself. Jim is all right and God knows it.

Brother Dortch said...

To the anonymous poster above @4:25:

Please don't get the idea I feel as though Bill Ballenger is a saint. You are correct. He goes where the money is and is a con artist too. He just specializes in youth fraud and not elderly fraud but, as he and his youth audience continues to grow and mature, you can expect that, one day, Ballenger will switch the focus of his ministry to conning the older audience too as he begins to get more and more grey hairs on his head.

Another interesting thing I would like you all to know is that Mondo is not a pentecostal. He is a Roman Catholic. If you do not believe that, please go to Mondo's Facebook page, which is called:

"Mondo Beth"

and you will see he lists, or used to list, his religion as being CATHOLIC in all capital letters. This could have now been removed, as his last entire Twitter account (mondo18st)was completely removed after we started talking about it here. I am not a practicing Roman Catholic but, I am sure the Vatican would not be too happy with a true Catholic attending mass on Sunday and then hooking up with an ex-con felon and raising money for the pentecostal faith to raise funds for fradulent purposes--not the least of which would be using church bought air time to terriorize America with stories about how Mexicans are going to be soon sending flash mobs into convienience stores and to farmers' homes to rob them. That is what happens to any person who decides to live a life of crime. Reason and logic cease to exist and they begin to tell so many lies and represent themselves in so many false ways they cannot keep them all straight.

Although we all have a good time being entertained and laughing about all of this here, deep down inside it is one of the saddest things in the world today. My hope is that this site can be seen and read by a young person, or his parents, who are considering either attending Bakker's fake college or possibly moving to Morningside and then they take a few steps back and say: "No, I don't think that would be a good idea. If something sounds too good to be true--it usually is."

Anonymous said...

You must be logged into facebook but if you are and go to the information page on mondo beth account he lists his religion philosophy as "catholic". Another fraud discovered. Good work brother dortch.

bakkersajerk said...

@quacker
Jim has Mormons come help sell foodbuckets. He has Catholics help sell CD's (Paul Todd). If there was a Scientologist that was selling some shit that Jim thought he could make a buck on, they'd be welcome as well. If Tom Cruise was on the set with the bisexual, it would be fun to watch Jim try to hide his buldge.
A non religious man doesn't care about theology. Christians (Pentecosts in particular) are just the demograph he markets to. He must really hate them do fleece them as he does. The are two things only that the fraud loves: Himself and money. He's a disgrace.

burnjimburn said...

anyone who defends bakker is just a bakker zombie, the only thing jim has love for in his heart is money, sexual deviance and making fun of kevin shorey.
and yes jim would work with someone who could bring him down (phil cameron) if the payout was big enough. especially when he was trying to get people to donate 10,000 all at once for lori's house, remember when he was getting all high pitched fake crying with phil rubbing on as many of the girls on stage as he could.

Anonymous said...

Quacker must be on crack! Jim is full of love and compassion! lol! What's loving and compassionate about scaring old people to death to get their money! Jim in not ok, and God doesn't approve of anything Jim is doing. What bible is quacker reading! GEESH. When you see the stupid things these Bakker groupies post you can see how Jim gets their money. Not a bright bunch that's for sure.

Anonymous said...

Mondo ain't going to to anything in times of trouble. Gang Banger my ass, he is a big fraud pussy. I am going to bitch slap that tear tattoo off his face. Didn't he supposedly do time for a crime? If so, does anything know what his crime was? Why do all these criminals what a big bathhouse?

Anonymous said...

Has Jim received all the government OKs to run a house for unwed mothers? It would not surprise me that in the end he will say that the government is shutting it down and he will use the house for other duties within his ministry.

Brother Dortch said...

Dear Ron,

I need to ask your advice, Sir.
Now that Bakker's personal assistant,
Wendy Youngblood, has allegedly seperated
from her husband and is on the prowl once
again...Do you think she might take some time out this week for a quick game of "Guess My Home
Phone Number?" So far, God has only given me
two of the digits and it is killing me inside!

Anonymous said...

If Kevin came back to Morningside because his own ministry was not making it, Jim knows that he has the big fella by the gonads and can treat him like whatever he wants. I sorry position for Kevin to be in.

Ron said...

My sources tell me that the first three numbers are 976...

Oh wait no, that's Constrictor Copeland's number.

Cindy B. said...

Hey Brother Dortch

867-5309

Oh wait. That's Jenny's. Yes. Jenny, Jenny

Sorry

Anonymous said...

New “Mondo” Reality Show Coming Soon! LOL Flash Mobs 101!

Anonymous said...

In response to Dec 30,2011 3:45 PM

Is there any validity to your statement " Jim said that the internet is an evil place and that when used for bad like this site it has the devil's soul in it." Well, I'm sure that Mr. Bakker has thoughts on many subjects and I'm also sure the internet has not been lost from his gaze, including this very site.

But the point that I feel lead to express to you is that many things in this world can be used for bad, even the Bible.

Communication opens people's eyes to what is wrong with present circumstances. Unlike his PTL days, Mr. Bakker now has to the face the internet for better or worse. How evil is the internet when even Mr. Bakker uses it to profit?

Cameron Is Not My Dad said...

God showed Jim 911 BEFORE it happened, he said. Oh, and God showed Jim the Japan disaster BEFORE it happened also. What did Jim do? Nothing. He let them both happen and didn't mention God showed him anything until AFTER both events had occurred. Jim is either a very sick person who wanted all those people to die so he kept his mouth shut or Jim is a liar. Take your pick.

Anonymous said...

I've got nothing against Bakker, hell, he is a survivor and I admire him, how many guys could pull themselves up by the boot laces and resume where he left off. Outside of maybe Nixon, no one. It's Mondo that is annoying. Like the poster above referenced he tries to come off as some kind of "been there" tough guy, when thereality is he doesn't have a clue as to what the streets are like. He pulls this false persona of Mr Streetwise cause it or he perceives it as being "macho" and appealing to the fringe elements of society, figuring they might look at him as some sort of spokesman and "role Model" for them. He figures, Hell, their money is just as good as anyone elses. If he was in jail he strikes me as the type who would end up in "PC" or end up being someone's "kid". Guys who talk the talk but it ends there like Mondo annoy me, being a former street kid myself in the Bronx.

Anonymous said...

On Jim's website blog he reveals a change of tactics for his 2012 predictions.

"The Lord told me that first, there would be a great earthquake in Japan, and then total collapse of the world’s economy. I can’t tell you the day, I can’t tell you the month or the week, but I can tell you that an economic collapse is imminent".

God's not giving him much to go on this time around. I would imagine Jim upset some of his flock with revealing knowing of future disasters and yet did nothing.

Anonymous said...

If it quacks like a duck!!! , it is wrong, he is using the people's money for wealth!!!! Not for a ministry! He isn't Tom Cruise. We know we are paying those people to watch their movies and that it's all fake and it makes them rich. Jim Bakker lies on tv!!! His claims are false. It's not a real ministry. It's Christian QVC shopping network with lies attached. Most of Jim bankers followers are elderly! Easily fooled. Shame on you for defending such a sin. He uses scare tactics to make money so he can have plastic surgery... But he don't tell those people on tv that is what it's being used for. I think he should have to account for every dime through that show. I think the people watching and donating have a right to know where every dime goes. You must be a well paid employee.

bakkersajerk said...

Well people, Jim isn't the only snake in the woodpile.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_evangelist_scandals
I think I'll crank up a certain REM song.
I guess it's time for me to blame the bucktoothed, crosseyed, inbreds as much as Jim for this freakshow.

burnjimburn said...

its funny how many people get on here and try to stick up for jim or try to say its the people around him that are the problem or are worse than jim. everyone working at morningside is worthless and jim reigns as the king of shit.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Christ does speak to Rev. Bakker, are any of us in a postion to disprove a positive, no, we have to take him at his word. Rev. Bakker comes across, to me, subjectively, as a pretty sincere guy. I'm not saying he doesn't have faults, we all have faults, the human part of Jesus showed faults when he went ballistic over the usury money changers in the temple. Going ballistic or losing one's temper is, face the fact, a fault. I do agree that Zach Drew is being given too much too soon, which is always a poor way to proceed. He needs to feel the world and is not doing it sitting pretty on stage all warm and toasty. And by the way, I am not Nolan showing a jealous streak. Thanks and God bless.

Anonymous said...

Response to 12:50

Would you share with us a few ( or even one ) of the attributes that define Mr. Bakker as sincere to you?

Ron said...

Dear Bakker Zombie,

You say that Jim tells you that things on the internet, including this blog, are evil. Can you please explain to me what is evil about it?

Is it evil because I expose Sham Bakker's fake crying, fake predictions and fake food?

Is it evil because I called Jim's claim that his Master's Media students are future prophets, and that donors to the school will reap a prophet's reward, a sleazy prosperity gospel tactic?

I'm all ears. You have the floor.

Good luck,
Ron

Buddy's Buddy said...

Dear Anonymous @ 12:50, no, we DON'T have to take him at his word.

Anonymous said...

Hey!!! Kevin can leave anytime he wants. What's all this faux bull about sympathy for Kev??? Let him get a regular 8 to 5 job, let him ask Jim to put him on a forklift in the warehouse as an expeditor, he's not a "silver tongue orator", in fact a physical heavy lifting job would benefit him. He's not going to do that though cause he knows he's got the world by the balls. Out there in the audience amongst the "old timers" like some kind of caucasion Don Ho. Kevin made a pact with the devil,which no matter what, is always a bad bargain. Give me a freaking break you Kevinphiles!!!!!!!!!!

burnjimburn said...

Buddy's got it right why do we have to take him at his word. i wouldnt get into a car with john wayne gacy if he promised he wouldnt kill me... would you?
i think that if you read the new testament a little, Jesus didnt have any faults he was tempted but was without sin. you are either a troll trying to get a response by comparing bakker to jesus or you are a bakker zombie (complete idiot)

Kelsey said...

All one has to do is look at the Bible and what God defines as a false prophet. Then, don't stop there - read about how God views false prophets AND their followers. That should scare you more than Jim's ridiculous end times nonsense.

Among the many problems Jim has, the greatest is this - in the four minutes he uses to actually preach from the Bible, I've never heard him utter the most beautiful words, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son - that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life."

John 3:16 should be the cornerstone of any ministry. Yet I've never heard him say it on the air. It's never been run in text at the bottom of the screen. However, he has no problem taking selected verses out of context for the purpose of scaring the elderly into believing that God is telling them to prepare.

But God tells us very clearly, in perfect context, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal."

I don't care how well sealed those buckets are - they will decay (and faster unless stored in the dark at 60 degrees or below) and Mondo has made it quite clear that roving bands of Mexicans will hold you at gun point to get your freeze-dried bean bucket.

I'm done - just seems like if there's one Bakker follower reading these comments, maybe a look at God's true and living Word (no prophet needed) may be a good reminder about what ministry is supposed to be.

bakkersajerk said...

Kelsey, very good post. Exactly how I feel. These people that follow Jim (and the other charismatic money grubbing sexual predators) can find the truth if they look. They either don't care or don't want to see it. I hope this site would turn them away, but if not I hope they survive Jim. The repeat followers, I fear, there's no hope for. It is what they want, and they sure as hell are getting what they deserve.

Brother Dortch said...

Excellent post by Kelsey! Could not have said it better myself.

All I can add is................................... said...

Not only does Pastor Baker refer to John:3-16, he has been known to wear a hat, a visual reference to John:3:16 on many, many occasions. That's exactly the trouble with some of Pastor Bakker's critiques, they all ascribe to a fallacious and selective mindset when watching him. May I suggest in the future try clearing your mind of concrete bias and watch it with an 'open" mind. You'll be surprised at what you've been missing.

Anonymous said...

Awesome post Kelsey.

Anonymous said...

To All I can: In the future, I'll try, but it's difficult.

Grandma Char Groupie said...

Line up Sir and drink your Kool Aid...You'll feel better in a moment!

bakkersajerk said...

All I can say is.........you're an ignorant zombie. Answer Ron's question or get lost.

burnjimburn said...

most of the time bakker wears a hat that says hope. and i have watched the show many times and i have never heard him preach about Jesus Christ, your argument is without merit. when i watch another episode ill see 50 minutes of product pushing followed by a video of the world being destroyed and bakker making a crying face without tears. this is intermixed with him hitting on the male guests, making fun of kevin and being mentally and physically abusive to lori. ive never even heard bakker pray on his new show in hopes of leading someone to Christ.
great post kelsey.

bakkersajerk said...

Okay, Jim isn't going to jail for giving "gifts" in exchange for "donations". That's the same as NPR and PBS do. But, he will go to jail once someone from Morningstar makes a claim that the Christian community is isn't what was advertized. Also, anyone familiar with Morningside's creative allocation of ownership and financial records could trigger an investigation. The end is comming......

Anonymous said...

Jim Bakker is NOT on tv trying to bring people to God. He on tv selling stuff period! Silver Sol is NOT a cure all. No hospitals,no doctors use this stuff. He is a bogus fish oil sales man. That's one thing that is going to get him. I've actually heard of people in the hospital with weird stomach ailments after drinking so much of this stuff.

Anonymous said...

And why do my grandparents keep trying to get me to drink it?

I'm aware that silver treatments were out back before we had antibiotics back in the 50's but during that time, they also thought that smoking was good for you. In the '90's, silver treatments went back on the market and became all the rage over the internets and fooled many people into buying and using them for cure all treatments where many people got sick (fever, Argyria (grey, blue to black skin that's permanent), and Gastroenteritis (a general word and a symptom of any condition, disorder or disease that causes irritation and inflammation of the gastrointestinal tract).

Apparently Silver Sol is new and improved and treated with electricity and broken all the way down to the silver molecules... Well, technically you're still ingesting silver and can still get sick from it. It's sold as a supplement and the FDA doesn't allow them to claim to actually "cure" anything otherwise that particular brand gets pulled from the shelves.

Why is this stuff still being sold and why on Earth are people buying it? And more importantly, if it causes any gastrointestinal problems, why do my grandparents want me to drink it for my CROHN'S...

Brother Dortch said...

To bakkersajerk: Take a look at some of your postings here on this page. You often refer to "Morningstar" which is not a Bakker ministry. That is the Rick Joyner ministry located at the former PTL site in Fort Mill. Bakker's ministry is only "Morningside Church, Inc." Just wanted to let you know. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

It is easy to confuse the two, that is why Bakker gave his new ministry a name that is so close to the that of his former ministry. He wants a certain amount of confusion. You don't think that is by chance do you?

Brother Dortch said...

Something tells me it was not an accident, no.

bakkersajerk said...

sorry about that. I've meant morningside each time. But, two peas in a pod sprouted by the same rotten seed.

Anonymous said...

Why anyone (unless it is someone seeking to make $ off of it) would want to associate themselves with Joyner is beyond me.

Anonymous said...

Is it interesting the more Jim "pushes" his health products, and meat free diet, the more the people at Morningside balloon in their weight! Why are those people becoming so obese eating his bucket food and following his diets. Seems Jim fattens them up to sell other products like the rebounder. Maybe this year we will see him "pushing" more weight loss products. He knows how to keep the zombies addicted to buying into the latest promotion!

Kelsey said...

Nope - don't care if Jim wears a 3:16 hat. I haven't seen it, either and I've been watching the show regularly for a year. I've seen the "NOW" hat and one other that escapes me that I believe has to do with Lori's house. Give me a screen shot or a video and I'll believe it. That shouldn't be too hard. Give me a link to "Pastor" Jim preaching on the blood bought forgiveness of Jesus Christ for more than 3 minutes during his show. For goodness sakes, show me something on his website!

That shouldn't be so difficult, right?

Anonymous said...

Amen Kelsey!

Buddy's Buddy said...

Kelsey! Right on! The other cap Jim wears is the "I Care" one. He should be wearing an "I Frighten Old Folks" cap.

Anonymous said...

A ballcap that has " Run For Your Life " on it might be suitable as well.

burnjimburn said...

Ron cant wait for your next post. its been a funny week with rabbi cahn.

Anonymous said...

Is it true that the Jesus statue can't be put in Morningside because the floor won't structurally support it? If this is true what does that say about the workmanship of that place. What is supporting the weight of all those condos? Glad I don't own a condo there!

Anonymous said...

mmmm So Bakker, excuse me, THE CHURCH buys an 11 ton marble statue of Jesus and now it can't be put up because the floor will not structurally support it? That means only one thing. Jim will now spend more of the church's money and build a brand new wing for it right next to the swimming pool and the steam room. This way, when Zach, Nolan, and the boys are done in the steam room with Jim they can kneel before the statue and ask God for forgiveness for what they just did!

What the hay? said...

Bakker should start wearing a toupee after one of his protracted vacations and claim that topical applications of "Silver Sol" induces hair growth. Sales of that stuff would go through the roof.

Persnickety said...

to 11;33^^^^^: If he's Jewish he won't post a damn thing> You know that!

Captain Profile said...

Jim should wear a ballcap "I went to Morning and all I got out of it is this lousy Ballcap".

All I can add is........................................ said...

Hi Guys!! If you go to the Morningside web page, the web where it describes in detail the mission of Morningside Ministry, you'll notice a personal photo section, click on that Pastor will be wearing in a few photos the 3:16 hat that he's worn on the show in the past.

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