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Monday, May 23, 2011

Jim in Memphis with fake Dr Larry Bates, fake-drinking dirty water

Don 'Magic' Juan..also a Bishop
The Jim Bakker Show begins this morning on the march, literally. The music which opens the show is a military marching beat, letting us know that Jim is on the move.

We open with Jim and Bishop Ron Webb (not to be confused with Bishop Don 'Magic' Juan...also a man of God). These men of Christ are at a Marriott hotel (I think in Memphis) to meet the fake doctor, Larry Bates. Bates claims to be a doctor, or rather Jim claims that he is a doctor. It is also claimed that Bates is a world-recognized expert on political systems and economics. I claim he is a big load of hot air and a con, and I am not the only one. See here for concerns about Bates ripping people off with silver and precious metals, or here for concerns about Larry Bates being a complete wacko.

The whole team is wearing press credentials, which is how Jim is able to weasel his way into off-limits areas. Jim is not riding in the NOW News van though. It appears that Bishop Ron Webb is escorting Jim in his own vehicle, probably with the A/C on full blast.

This Larry Bates turd must have really done a number on Jim, because Bakker is fawning all over him. At one point, Spanky Bates makes a joke, not even a funny one, that causes Jim to have a small conniption and nearly fall over the rail into the Mississippi River. Jim actually grabbed the rail to stabilize himself.

Fake Dr Larry Bates starts giving his 'expert' opinion about pretty much everything, it's so far-ranging that I'll just list it all quickly:

Great Flood of 1937
The Corps of Engineers
National Food Supply
Ethanol
Disaster Management
Seismology and Plate Tectonics
Sewer Systems
...and of course, The End Times

Big Fat Larry Bates
 Bates goes on to claim that 'corn will run out in August', citing expert sources outside of the government. Bates is a good con, he's unblinking and definitive when he tells you something. The guy apparently considers himself an expert on just about everything, but I guarantee the one thing he's not an expert on is proper diet and exercise. He's a pig, he's packed into an old blue shirt like a sausage and he has a belly which extends well below his belt-line. I dislike the guy more than Jim Bakker, and that's saying a lot.

Jim's grandson shows up on camera for a little story, he's 22 years old but he's about 5 feet tall. I think he drives the NOW News van, and I think he sits on phone books while he does it.

As the show continues, Jim makes the standard plea for people to 'be ready' and 'be prepared'. Today he's pushing water filtration bottles in addition to foodbuckets. During the plea, he refers to Jerry Crawford as 'Doctor', then catches himself and states 'I make everybody doctors'. Hey, why not? Jim also fake cries again.

This brings us to the most important part of the show, when Jim uses one of his Seychelle water bottles to fake drink from the Mississippi River.

Fill Bottle - Black tape over the label
Drink Bottle - Label clearly visible
Jim is out on some grass with Bishop Don 'Magic' Juan...err, Bishop Ron Webb. If you look closely...wait, you don't even have to look closely. Just look at the first bottle, there is black tape over the label. That's the 'fill bottle' that Jim dips into the river muck. The second image, the bottle is held in the same orientation, but the Seychelle label is clearly visible. That's the bottle Jim drinks from (he actually doesn't even drink, he just sucks air).

I mean, it's not even a little bit hidden. It's obvious that the first bottle is not the second bottle. Incredible.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I drive my wife crazy because I can not get enough of this guy. Hard to believe anyone takes him serious. I wonder if the feds are watching him to see if he crosses the line.
Keep of the entries because I can not catch all the shows.
Cheers
Mark

Daniel said...

Hi Mark,
Haha, yep I drive my wife a little crazy with it too!

My goal is to have at least one episode recap per week (I work full-time). Hopefully I can stick to that schedule. Blogging this is a little time-consuming, but making fun of Jim Bakker is just so much damn fun...I almost want to skip work!

I also can't catch every show which is a shame since they're all self-contained gems. I'll do my best though!

Thanks for the comment!

Anonymous said...

I miss Kevin and the kids...

Mod

Daniel said...

Don't worry Mod, I have a Kevin Shorey retrospective coming in a couple days. We can all cry together!

Anonymous said...

It is so obvious that he does not respect women! everytime Lori talks, he looks away and the edit our her comments. I too noticed that he really did not drink the water. How can this scam be on TV? What is the mentality of the people on the show and watching them ? I watch in total disbelief that this is really happening.

Nedzo said...

Kevin is BACK!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Dan your upsetting me.....your vulgar crappy website says nothing about all the people in the Bakker family having to deal with idiots like you....like when I just want to spend time with my family and I get death treats...how would you like to live like that or your kids or loves ones....or have to go through life knowing that one day when I have kids and they might come across this...
God bless
-James Martin Chapman

Anonymous said...

And mark you drive your wife crazy because you have nothing better to do but make fun of people you don't know....go take her out to dinner or something...get a life

Anonymous said...

that Kevin don't need food buckets, he stores it all in his big fat GUT. What a PIG

Anonymous said...

Wow you folks are rude...how s it said..if u don t have anything nice to say don t say anything at all..what kind of site is this?? Trashy..grow up