The Foodbucket Fanpage provides commentary, opinion and satire on The Jim Bakker Show.

Want more Foodbucket Fanpage? Read my books!

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Jim Bakker scribbles on Zach, talks junk with Bill Whaley part 3

Gord Pedersen: 'How does that Silver Sol shit work again?'
This is the final post for this episode. If you haven't already read the first part, please click here for part 1 of Jim Bakker scribbles on Zach, talks junk with Bill Whaley.

I wasn't aware that Dr Gordon Pedersen was the man behind Silver Sol, but he's the one in the commercial so now he owns it in my book. He tells us some gobbledy-gook about his miracle tonic, explaining that the particles of silver are so tiny that they can 'enter a red blood cell'. He says this is good because there's nothing to 'irritate or agitate', and that the particles of silver are just there to 'kill the germs'. I haven't been following the Silver Sol scene, but this sounds very, very stupid to me. Why would anyone voluntarily ingest something that is going to enter their blood cells and 'kill the germs'? How does silver know the difference between a germ and a blood cell? This sounds like an experiment the Japanese would do on Allied POWs to see how long they'd survive. Why would anyone even waste their time with this? It's so stupid it's laughable.

This is what happens when you follow Jim Bakker's advice
I did a little looking on this Dr Gordon Pedersen. Don't let the white lab coat fool you, because Gordon Pedersen is not a medical doctor. He has a PhD from a toxicology program which sounds promising, but in this press release he's billed as the “Anti-Aging Master Formulator” which causes my quack-alert siren to whoop loudly inside my head. I don't feel very comfortable here, Mr Pedersen. Didn't this silver stuff turn some guy's skin blue like a smurf not too long ago? I think I'll pass on your miracle tonic this time around. My body already does a good enough job 'killing the germs' and you know what they say: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. I'll tell you what though: When I'm on my deathbed, I'll take a swig and see if it does anything for me. Does it cure dying?

Jim Bakker's Blue Skin Ointment w/ bonus Amoeba Pot, $88
Zach announces a Silver Sol package for $600, then Sasha announces a case of 50 for $900. These packages come with Neti Pots. Why hasn't Jim told us the scary stories involving Neti Pots and brain-eating amoebas? Hasn't he heard about the people who have died after using them? It's strange to think that nobody on that stage has heard about the Neti Pot amoebas, and it makes me wonder if Jim's hiding the truth a little bit there so as not to cut into his own product sales. Blue skin coloring and brain-eating amoebas...that's two strikes against this Silver Sol package already. Yet Jim Bakker is still selling it with no mention at all about these serious risks? Doesn't sound very honest to me, Pastor Bakker.

Lori says "Wow!" while Jim gulps air
We're out of the commercial and back to the Junk Man Show with Jim Bakker. Jim asks a question designed to lead Whaley into a product demonstration, but the Junk Man's having none of it. These are direct quotes:
Jim:I've read that you help street people stay warm...One of the biggest problems people are going to have is when the power goes out. How do you keep from freezing?”
Junk Man:Let's go to the street first.”
Jim just has to sit there and take it. He's on the couch, leaning on his knee and staring at Whaley, but he's powerless to do anything. The old coot just keeps going on. For her part, Lori loves listening to this guy. She turns to the camera and mouths the word 'Wow!' as Whaley talks.

Whaley grabs his papers as Jim dreams of a happy place
Uh oh, Whaley just stepped over into la-la land. Now he's talking governmental conspiracy against the poor, the homeless, and the 'working people'. He's using the fingers on his hands to count off each targeted group. Jim, you need to step in and stop this now. A man uncovering conspiracy at this level is a man that the government will do everything to silence. The FBI probably has a file as a thick as a book on this Whaley character, hell there's probably agents in your audience right now keeping tabs on him. You don't need this kind of heat Jim, you don't need it!

The Junk Kook spices things up with conspiracy talk
Whaley has now reached for a stack of papers to expose a Senate Bill designed, according to the Junk Kook, to outlaw people from growing gardens. Lori's little mind has been blown by this conspiracy. We hear her off-camera saying, "Unbelievable. Unbelievable". With his stack of papers in one hand, Whaley employs use of his other hand to count off even more targeted groups. He's talking farming, saying something about us controlling the food. He then says, 'Guess who else we control?' Then bam, an edit arrives just in time. Just in time to save Whaley's life, and possibly everyone at Morningside. Whatever information he had was bound to uncover conspiracy at the highest levels of government. They will stop at nothing, Bill, nothing. Now I understand why you live 'off the grid'.

The Junk Kook's audio was cut. What secrets did he expose?
The edit was abrupt, and now it goes straight to Bakker. Jim feeds into Whaley's conspiracy a little bit, talking about some weird government crackdown on an Amish farmer selling raw milk. The camera shows Whaley with a smirk on his face while he points to his papers and speaks, but there's no sound because it's an edit job. Wow, I wonder how long he droned on for before the kids cut him off in the editing room? How much more conspiracy is lying on the Jim Bakker Show cutting room floor? Maybe Jim Bakker himself is part of the conspiracy to silence the Junk ever think of that one, Bill?

Finally, Bakker has taken back a little control. He moves from the Amish farmer straight into Lori's House, telling us that he's being called 'evil' for building a home to save babies. No Jim, that's not why you are called evil. You are called evil because you prey on the elderly and mentally-incompetent, earning their trust specifically so you can take their money. You are called evil not because you are building a home to save babies, Jim, but because you lie about why people call you evil.

Bakker: 'Oh my God, I've invited a lunatic onto my show.'
Jim turns back to Bill and pleads with him, “We can't get political. They'll put me away, Bill.” That's Jim's way of saying, 'Knock off the soapbox shit and get to the trinkets'. Bakker asks the Junk Kook how we can stay warm if the power grid goes down. Hey Bill, I'll take this one for you. Jim, the secret is layers. Thermals, jackets, whatever you have in the closet. You know the way you're dressed when you go outside in the cold? Just dress like that inside. Add a blanket if you need to. Burn some wood in a fireplace, maybe even roast some marshmallows! Next question please.

Whaley pouts after Jim shoots down his conspiracy theory
The Junk Kook was still thumbing the pages of his conspiracy documents when Jim told him to knock it off. I'm pretty sure he's pissed off now because he's acting like a bratty child who was just told to sit still at a Christmas party. He's back to flopping his hands up and down on the arms of his chair, and he has a little smirk on his face. Bill Whaley, a sixty-something man who once flew choppers in Vietnam, is pouting.

The Junk Kook doesn't like being silenced. Without neighbors, he pretty much lives in silence all the time save for his dumpster divin' wife. Deep down inside, I think what Bill Whaley wants are friends, people to talk to and people to listen. Unfortunately, years of living like a mountain man have made him strange. Picking through garbage is strange. Dreaming up conspiracy is strange. If he were a kid, he could break out of that strangeness bubble and live normally like everyone else. But the Junk Kook is already into his sixties. There's no changing a man who's had that much time to become weird. So, the Junk Kook's inner desire for friendship will never be satisfied unless he finds a friend who is also strange. And that'll just make him weirder.

Bill Whaley angrily snatches bag off table
Since the Junk Kook is pouting, he didn't accept Jim's first invitation to tell us all how to keep warm. Now Jim has to really prod him into action. Jim chooses his words carefully, saying “You have so many things, I don't know which ones you want to go to first. Do you want me to pick or do you want to tell me?” That bratty child who was told to sit down is now being told to pick a present and open it while everyone watches. Whaley angrily snatches an empty plastic bread bag off the table. This guy is cracking me up, he's really pissed off that Jim told him to stop with the conspiracy crap. He hoists the bag over his head and, in a condescending tone, asks everyone on stage what they would do with it. He has such a look of disdain on his face as he asks this, he's just dying to point his finger at everyone on stage and call them dummies.

Bill Whaley: 'I'm holding gasoline in my hand you dummies.'
After a pause, Bakker says he would throw the bag away. Kevin follows the leader and says he would throw it away too. At this point, I think they want to throw Bill Whaley away with the bag too. The Junk Kook looks down his nose at us and says, “I'm holding gasoline in my hand.” Kevin Shorey feigns shock at this announcement, and Whaley reiterates that the plastic bag can be converted to gasoline. He once again holds his prized plastic bag up, and then we get a very long, awkward pause. I thought my DVR froze, but nope that's just the deafening sound of silence on stage. Whaley has completely killed any amount of viewer interest in him with his pouting act, and now he's going nuts with the bread bag. Everyone, and I mean every single person on that stage, is on the defensive with him. They've all now realized that he's a lunatic.

Whaley's 'latex glove': The bane of canines everywhere.
The plastic bag is not just gasoline, Whaley tells us. It's also a latex glove that can be used to pick up dog 'droppings'. I'm very suspicious of this statement, Bill. Out in my neck of the woods, we don't associate latex gloves with dog crap. We associate them with people crap, and more specifically, the holes where the people crap comes from. Are you bread-bagging your hands and giving rectal examinations out there in 'off-the-grid' land? And who are you examining? There are exactly two people in those woods where you live, plus one unlucky dog. Please don't tell me you're...I just...don't you dare hurt that dog, Bill.

Bill Whaley's dog being inspected for worms
Whaley goes on about the multi-use bread bag. He uses it to store butchered chickens in the freezer, and god knows what else. He also puts his skid-marked underwear, ratty t-shirts and mismatched socks in the bag so they don't get wet. What about bread, Bill, do you ever put bread in the bag?

Bill wears the bags on his feet in the wintertime. He says he puts them on his feet, then puts socks over them to keep his feet warm. You're a military man, Bill. Isn't that a recipe for trench foot? Or do you use the water generated by your sweaty, suffocating feet for brushing your teeth?

Whaley ends his childish tirade by asking a question. With his prized bag once again held up with both hands and a voice filled with utter contempt, he turns to Jim and Lori and asks, “Why would I throw it away?” As he asks, he jingles the bag ends so that the plastic makes noise.

Jim talks Whaley down off the ledge as Lori daydreams
Jim got a lot more than he bargained for with this guest. Jim is sweating, oh man is he sweating. He moves to a new question, and as he poses it he sounds like a psychiatrist trying to keep a wild-eyed mental patient from setting himself on fire.

Bakker is really shaken. He says, “Bill, what you're telling us is we can use the things around us to survive. We don't have to lay down and die.” Whaley is folding the plastic bag into a neat square as Jim speaks. Bakker looks to the audience for applause and gets it, and then we see Jim with a look of worry on his face as he gulps down a mouthful of air. Disaster averted, but what's up next?

Bill Whaley loves knowing more about garbage than we do
Whaley has lightened up now. The tension was cut by the applause, and now Bill Whaley feels respected again. He grabs another piece of garbage, an empty spaghetti sauce jar. Actually, I wouldn't classify this one as garbage if you have liquids you want to store. It depends on the liquid, of course. I might use it for pickled eggs, while the Junk Kook might use it for urine bombs. Let's see.

God, Whaley is so obnoxious. He has a way of speaking that is demeaning to all around him. Lori picks up on it subconsciously, because now she's referring to him as 'sir'. He's an asshole without justification. He tells all of us dummies that we can use the sauce jar as a measuring cup. He also says that we can use it to serve drinks in. He suggests giving it to children to drink from, so if they break it they “don't break your good stuff.” You know what I would use your glass jar for, Bill? A baseball. I would tee that sucker right up, then shatter it into a million unusable pieces with a baseball bat. Oh hey, give me that bread bag too, it'll make a great noise maker. Just blow it up full of air, hold the open side closed, then clap your hands together quickly. Pop!

A frozen Jim Bakker tries to figure a way out of this debacle
Jim is frozen solid on the couch. Lori reacts well to assholes, she likes that sort of leadership, but Jim doesn't. He's not quite sure what to do here.

Now the Junk Kook grabs a 2-liter bottle that he chopped in half. It's not chopped well, it looks like he hacked it in half with a butter knife or clipped it down with nail clippers. I also can't rule out the possibility that he had his wife bite through it. Whaley is finding his groove now. He leans back in the chair and asks, “What can you do with a 2-liter bottle?” See that's the problem, Bill, it's the way you introduce your items. Stop asking us what we can do with your garbage and just show us instead.

Plastic bottle that Whaley's wife bit in half
You ask us questions that you think we can't answer in order to make us feel small. But it's not that we can't answer them, it's that we don't really care. You deal in garbage, the stuff I toss out with a smile on my face. Whenever I have to go back into my garbage to find something that was thrown out accidentally, I don't smile. I grimace and I hold my nose, and sometimes I even ask my wife for help because it's so disgusting to me. When you pose questions designed to make people feel dumb for not knowing the ins-and-outs of the garbage heap, you fail in your quest for friendship. Normal people don't like that.

From the 2-liter bottle, Whaley says he can make a water filter, ice holder, and funnel. Bakker breaks free from his daze and jumps on the funnel idea. Jim grabs the funnel from the table and tells us how we could use it to add gas to our cars if we needed to. Does Jim not know that gas cans come with spouts? I'll go one further: Does Jim not know that funnels can be purchased for a couple dollars at Home Depot? With the dollar Jim gave Lori earlier in the show, they're already halfway down the road to funnel ownership. See how easy that is, Jim?

Papa Whaley took little Jimmy's funnel toy away from him
Whaley isn't having any of Jim's gas-can funnel crap. He takes the funnel away from Bakker like a parent taking scissors from a toddler and completely ignores Jim's suggestion. I get the feeling that the Junk Man is thinking, 'Thanks for humoring us buddy, but let's leave the survival stuff to the experts.' Jim was still talking as Whaley took the funnel back from him, he even looked to his audience for support while stammering out, “Isn't that a good..good idea?” I hate to say it, but I'm actually starting to pull for Bakker in this fight. Whaley's a total jackass and needs to be put in his place. If Bill were an ass because he doesn't like Bakker, I'd be on his side. He isn't though. Bill Whaley's an ass because Bill Whaley's an ass.

"...teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime."
Ugh, the Junk Man tells us something about poking holes in the bottle, stitching it with twine, and adding bread crumbs to make a 'minnow catcher' for fishing. What happened to you out there in that Vietnamese jungle, Bill? What did you see that's got you so spooked? You're back home in America now, Bill. You don't need to do this, we are friendlies and you are safe. You can go to the store and buy bait from an honest man who is happy to sell to you. Hell, you can even skip the bait and just buy a fish! Don't worry, you will not encounter any VC here. No land mines, no crushed glass in your Pepsi. Just relax sir and calm down. Now please tell me: Are you carrying any knives or other weapons on your person right now?

'Wait 'till the Feds get a load of my urine bombs, muhahaha!'
Whaley is still obsessing over the bottle. He's showing us how he can add one of his black-painted glass bottles inside the larger plastic bottle, fill one of the two with soup (I don't know which), and cook the soup outside in the sun. As he's configuring this thing, it's making all kinds of annoying ripping and tearing noises as he tries to fit everything together. Why Bill? Why would I waste my time? What you are showing us is so unimportant, it really is. If I had a choice between doing all that menial crap to sun-cook my soup, or just eating cold soup...I'll eat cold soup, Bill. Really, I would.
[Bill Whaley] [showing me how to configure the soup cooker] "So you just take this piece here and add this part...wait, hold on, I think I'm missing something."
[Ron] [eyes glossing over] "It's okay Bill, I don't need all that stuff. I'll just eat it cold."
[Bill Whaley] [shock bordering on offense] "Cold soup? Who wants to eat cold soup!? Just gimme a second, there's a piece missing. We'll get your soup cooking in no time!"
[Ron] [looks at watch] "Bill, it''s fine. Can I have my soup back please?
[Bill Whaley] [red-faced and aggressive] "No you cannot have your soup back please, I haven't shown you how to heat it yet! Just give me a second."
[Ron] "These aren't seconds anymore, these are minutes now and I'm hungry."

Bill growls threateningly.

[Ron] [laughing] "Why are you getting so upset?"
[Bill Whaley] [screaming] "I'm not upset!"

Bill Whaley rubs his 40-grit palms together
Jim refers to Whaley's soup-warming contraption as a 'solar cooker'. I'm not sure that 'cooker' is the right word as I don't think anyone will be sizzling bacon in it anytime soon, but whatever. It gets hot, wow. Bill also says we can take a sand-filled soda can, paint it black, then set it in the sun to make a hand warmer. Ahhh, Bill knows just how to make things nice and cozy on those crisp Ozark mornin's. Bill really lays it on us thick with the hand warmer, even rubbing his hands together as he describes it. The sound his hands make when rubbed together are like sandpaper on a wood deck. Don't let the dumpy looks fool you, because the Junk Man isn't all about business: He's pleasure too.

The Junk Kook snaps rubber band off yet more garbage
Jim asks Bill what else he has for show-and-tell. I hope this is over soon because my Bill Whaley Junk-O-Meter is running into the red zone. I'm very near to experiencing a junk overdose, and I'm considering buying a furnace for all of my garbage to prevent it from falling into the hands of the other Bill Whaleys of the world.

Bill asks one of the Master's Media kids to pass him a piece of garbage that's out of reach. It's yet another crinkly piece of plastic. If this guy lived next door to me, he would drive me bonkers. I recycle. I have plastic and glass bottles wrapped up in bags on the side of my house, not stacked, just lying out there nice and clean, awaiting the few times each year when I have time to unload it all at the recycling center. If Bill lived next door, I just know that guy would be breaking my balls every couple weeks or so, asking if he could have my plastic. I'd have to tell him no, but then I'd realize that he's looking at my house and probably rooting through my garbage at night when I'm sleeping. I'd be powerless to stop him. It would drive me nuts.

The Junk Tornado unwraps loudly while Lori tries to speak
Whatever Whaley's next piece of garbage is, he has it encased in a plastic bag. Is that to keep it clean? He snaps off two rubber bands from the bag and starts unraveling the treasure inside. Meanwhile, Lori is talking, or at least trying to talk. She's saying something about the Master's Media kids, but Bill keeps driving on with his unpacking. He's like a Junk Tornado: All we see and hear is the crinkling of plastic, rubber bands snapping, and cups or pieces of cups flying about. Whaley's in his zone now, he has no time for Lori's child's play and small talk. Lori's voice trails off as she completes her sentence and stares at Bill, then we all listen and watch for a few awkward seconds as the Junk Tornado finishes unpacking. The ball is back in Whaley's court now.

Bill Whaley struggling to snug his water filter down tight
"This is a coffee creamer bottle. I just cut the bottom off of it." Whaley's face is glowing, he loves this stuff. "I went down to Walmart for $7 and bought me one of those Brita pitcher filters." Bill then drops one of those 'Brita pitcher filters' into his creamer bottle. It's a near perfect fit. Bill pulls down hard on the other end of the filter, you can see the strain on his face as he snugs the filter into the plastic bottle and seats it. He holds it up for us to see and declares proudly, "Now I got a water filter that'll filter 40 gallons of water anywhere I want to go with it." Bill, my good man...what you call a water filter, I call a smoking gun. Did you know that Jim Bakker actually sells expensive Seychelle water filters for over 3 times the price you just mentioned? In fact, the chair your sitting in was probably still warm from Dr Seychelle's last visit! Don't know who Dr Seychelle is, Bill? Well let me describe him for you, you might like him!

Detective Bill Whaley holds the smoking gun for all to see
First off, Dr Seychelle is not really a doctor at all, but Jim insists on calling him one and the fake doctor doesn't seem to mind. His real name is Carl Palmer. He has a face full of plastic surgery, is the CEO of a multi-million dollar company, and has what might be called a 'trophy wife' who operates as a 'Holistic Dental Hygienist'. That sound like your kinda' people, Bill? Or can I just call you 'Dr Whaley''ll make people trust you more!

You want conspiracy, Bill, well you just got one. A real one this time. You are now in competition with the fake Dr Seychelle and his froggy little buddy, Jim Bakker. You are on a show whose sole intent is to sell product. You, Bill, with all your quirks, are still at heart trying to help people. If you thought that's what Jim Bakker was about, you've made a mistake. The Jim Bakker Show is designed for product-sales, not people-helping. Showing people how to make a cheap water filter is a noble effort on your part, but in Jim's calculating mind, why would he give people something for free when he can charge them for it instead?

Jim got away from the $7 water filter real quick
Jim's subdued response to Bill's water filter: "Oh my lamb." Bakker had no idea this was going to happen and I can see the wheels turning in his mind, trying to figure out how to brush this under the rug as fast as possible without people catching on. We get one more sentence from Bill before edit: "That's how simple it is to have good clean water." Jim says, haltingly, "It really is. What's next?" Lori is next to Jim with a smile plastered on her face, but I can see her little mind chugging along as well. I'm pretty sure she caught on to the water filter fiasco too, but hell for all I know she's daydreaming about sex and crack-pipes. You never really know with minute she's thinking about abortion, the next minute she's thinking about balloons.

Biker Chick Max tries to remember how much Jim's filters cost
As I said, a heavy edit took place here. The next time we see Bill he's snapping a rubber band back onto the plastic-covered water filter set that took him so long to unwrap earlier. No statement on this, Pastor Bakker? Shouldn't you be suggesting to us all that we save our money on pricey Seychelle filters and just build Dr Whaley's $7 filters instead?

We're back to Jim's first question about how to keep people warm, and Bakker once again refers to homeless people as 'street people'. Whaley grabs a large tin can and starts pulling metal objects out of it while Jim is still talking. Clank, clink, clunk. I know you're off the grid Bill, but I think someone is eventually going to find you out there because of all the noise you make. Do you get a lot of hungry bears out your way?

Bill Whaley removes small metal can from large metal can
The Junk Man is glowing again. I get the feeling he could talk junk, garbage and scavenging all day and night, then continuing on into the morning. Bill Whaley fails among men, but at the garbage heap he reigns supreme. Bill grabs Jim's sharpie, the same one used to write on Zach's forehead, and draws a square on the tin can. He tells us that we can cut out the square of tin, bend it over a stick, and 'put a nail through it' to make a frying pan. I have to say, when Bil grabbed the Zach sharpie and started drawing I was expecting a little more from him then a piece of tin attached to a stick. Let's throw that one out Bill, it's sort of lame. Even a gorilla could figure that one out. And by gorilla, I mean Zach Drew.

'Scuse me brother, any sausage cans to spare?
If we want to make a heater instead, Bill tells us to add a couple inches of dirt or sand to the tin can. Then we take a Vienna Sausage tin can, add wax and some pipe cleaners to make a candle. Bill, this one's even more lame. Where am I going to find an empty Vienna Sausage can? Do I need to find a hobo in a train car and rifle through his plaid knapsack while he's passed out drunk? And if I already have wax, wouldn't I also already have a candle? Bill, did you know they make things called tealight candles that can be purchased for less than a twenty cents a piece? You need to get out more and stop handling so much garbage, I think all the toxic metals have started to turn your brain into pudding.

Bill's still driving on with his candle heater. He tells us to place the sausage-can candle into the big tin can, then take a "big 62 oz juice can", poke holes in it and place it over the top of this unwieldy contraption to make a tiny, ineffective heater. I wouldn't even know what a 62 oz juice can looks like, but Bill has the sucker memorized. You've been hanging around the garbage heap for far too long Bill. Here's a life tip: If you converse with more rodents each day than people, then you need a serious change of lifestyle. It's not healthy for your mind.

Jim asked the Junk Kook for his thoughts on the economy
Bakker wants some fear-mongering from Whaley to close the show with. Jim asks the Junk Kook, a man completely unqualified to give answers on, well, anything, if he thinks the dollar is going to 'totally collapse'. Whaley says that this year the 'financial institution' is going to hit everybody and it's going to hit us hard. Jim Bakker, of course, loves hearing the unqualified Bill Whaley predict economic disaster. He looks to the audience and says, "Now listen to what he's saying people. This is what I've been trying to warn you and warn you and warn you..."

I'll get by just fine without your plastic bread bag, Bill
Finally, the show winds down. Bakker asks Whaley to address the critics who call his gimmick stupid. Whaley tells us "your dollar's gettin' littler every day", and asks, "What happens when you can't buy this?" Bill, if I'm so stupid that I can't figure out how to stay warm with all the extra clothes in my closet, or how to crack open a can of Campbell's soup and eat it, then I guess I'll just die. That really sums it up for me, I'd rather lose out and die then spend my life living in fear of ridiculous things like roving gangs, dying of thirst, starving, or freezing to death. I'm not a settler on the frontier.

But let's be honest here: The scary world you describe is not going to happen in our lifetime. We don't live in Sudan, we live in America. Among other things, we have police, military, business, and multiple layers of government filled with fellow citizens who have a vested interest in keeping everything under control. The doom-speakers and fear-mongers like Jim Bakker know this too. That's why they take cold hard cash as payment for their products and speaking engagements. They prey on dimwits who've been watching too many scary movies. Think about it for a second: if Jim Bakker really thought the world was going to fall apart, wouldn't he be doing something to prevent it instead of catering to it?

How much did Jim Bakker pay for your integrity, Bill?
Bakker ends the show with one final pitch for his Wheat Buckets. The high hopes I had for Bill Whaley's integrity have now vanished, because Jim tells us that every $100 Wheat Bucket sold today comes with a free DVD of the Junk Kook in action. We see Bill sitting in his chair, twiddling his thumbs and smiling as if he just swallowed a canary. Bill must be thinking that he pulled a fast one over on Jim, but believe me Bill, the only one pulling a fast one in this relationship is Jim Bakker. You are a tadpole swimming with the largest toad in the swamp, and he's been swimming in this swamp for years.

The show ends, then we get a five-minute commercial for foodbuckets.


1 – 200 of 2815   Newer›   Newest»
Ron said...

Taking a break for a little while. In the meantime, if Bakker makes any ridiculous prophecies please mention it in the comments so I can get it up on the FoodbucketFanpage Youtube channel.

Buddy's Buddy said...

That's right. Taking a break for a roadtrip, right, Ron? I'll be waiting for you on the side of the road with my Jesus idol and my "Take Me to Your Pastor" sweatshirt on.

Seriously, though, great post. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Great, while you're gone, look up the difference between colloidol silver and silver sol... dipstick.

Craig said...

Dipstick@5:54. Tell us the difference. You may need to wipe the drool off your keyboard before you start typing again.

Anonymous said...

There's a difference? What color does Silver Sol turn you?

Joe C Blue eye, Missouri said...

There was no meeting, I don't even live in Missouri. I made it all up.

Anonymous said...

Lol, you sure fooled us all, Joe. Hmmm. On second thought, maybe that's a zombie posting under Joe's screen name. Doesn't really matter since this blog concerns the fraud of jim bakker and not anything else. Try again zombie.

Fear Propheteer said...

Seems the FDA didn't like Silver Sol being marketed as a swine flu cure

Fear Propheteer said...

seems the a tag doesn't work, after all.

Tanya said...

Watching Jim struggle with the Junk Man was hilarious - this post is hilarious squared. Thanks, Ron, enjoy your break!

Silver Sol/colloidol silver - psuedo-science. A web page for Silver Sol states the difference is that Silver Sol has "a specific vibrational frequency in order to work against pathogens" - 5:54pm, could you add an explanation of that sentence into your comment about the scientific differences between the two?

Anonymous said...

You rock Tanya!!!

Brother Dortch said...

Excellent posting Ron!

The Junkman's use of a Walmart bought, $7.00 Brita water filter, was one of the biggest mistakes The Junkman could have ever made.

Neither jim or Bill likes to pay their taxes. The Junkman told with pride the story of the day he actually showed up, in person, to the local office of taxation in the town where he lives "off the grid" so that he could, personally, question the staff about how to avoid paying taxes on his home. He said that, when he arrived at the offices, he was met by a young girl who was kind enough to answer all of his questions about this or that structure and how much tax would be per year on that structure. He was frustrated that any structure that contained a cement foundation was taxable and that is not what he wanted to hear. He then asked the young girl:

"What about a "yurt"?

The young girl looked at him like he was absolutely crazy and stated she did not know what in the world he was talking about. The Junkman then explained to her what a yurt is.

It is: "a portable, bent wood-framed dwelling structure traditionally used by Turkic nomads in the steppes of Central Asia"

The young girl then told The Junkman the yurt would technically be classified as a tent and would therefore not be taxed. That is what The Junkman wanted to hear! He next proudly said that, for only $10,000 or $12,000 he could get a yurt and completely avoid taxes as he and his wife live in this tent.

Can you imagine, during a bad winter, with accumulated snow and ice, the poor ole' Junkman living in the mountains, with bears and other wildlife around him, storing food in his "yurt" and feeling safe there? Oh, please! Spare me any more of this Junkman please! I beg of you!

Also of interest that day on the show was Jim's frustration during the live taping (in which no audience members showed up) getting so frustrated with the mistake he clearly made by having this character on his show. He did not know, until it was too late, that he had made one hell of a mistake. Bakker had met The Junkman when he attended one of those survivalist conventions. He would not find out until show time that the on the air placement of this bizarre character was one of the biggest, if not the biggest, mistake of a show guest he's ever made since taping shows at Morningside. There were two places in the live taping where Jim had finally had enough of Whaley and then rose to his feet and began a twenty-minute preaching session on the end times with...yes....some "fake crying" thrown in there for good measure.

Also of significant note was, after the failure to communicate with The Junkman was discovered, Bakker turned his attention to The Junkman's wife who was one of the three people seated in the audience. He proceeded to interview her and was so happy with the way she was responding (unlike her husband) that Bakker said, frustratingly, he should have put her on the stage too--right alongside of her husband. He openly admitted that was yet another mistake he made on this disaster of a show. I'm sure The Junkman appreciated that remark!

Finally, Jim also asked The Junkman if he had written a book. The Junkman said no. Jim then replied that was too bad because, had The Junkman written a book:

"I could sell a million of 'em."

The DVD viewers are getting is something Mein Morningside Furher ordered his people to edit from the very broadcast you showcased here. Leave it to Jim to take a disaster, such as this show taping, and sell it to his uneducated, zombie-like, legions of fans as something valuable. The fact that Bakker's crowd is prone to be impressed by such statements as using bread bags for socks and as gloves to pick up poop in the yard does not speak very highly of the whole entire bunch, now does it? Bill was using hobos, in his various explainations of his junk to JimBob. It fits JimBob's crowd perfectly. Yes! Let's all do as the hobos do--now send me $3,000!

Craig said...

Lol Bro D.
Please tell us about this fake generator. I am curious about this particular fraud.

Brother Dortch said...

The fuel-less generator is now shown on Bakker's website. It is powered by a portable solar panel. Frank Davis (Food For Health) either owns, or is a major investor, in the company.

Craig said...

Thanks Bro D
I'm skeptical about this generator. Before I slam it too hard, I'll do some research. But since everything bakker is bogus I expect this is too.

Buddy's Buddy said...

I was out by the yellow brick road today waiting for Ron to pick me up (we're on our way East to see the wicked witch and her flying monkey, Jimbo).

I turned to someone who is also familiar with this web site and the fraud going on at Moroningside and said, "Boy, I wish we had a fly on the wall at Moroningside." My friend looked back at me and said, "We do; Brother Dortch!"

That was said with the highest respect, Brother Dortch. I don't know how you know all that you know, but we sure love hearing it.

"Let's all do as the hobos do..." LOL

Brother Dortch said...

LMAO! Thank you! Now, that will cost you exactly $7,000 for a seven-year supply of posts. If you cannot afford that then I will be happy to set up a Paypal account and any amount you can send will be good--even $5.00!

Buddy's Buddy said...

Um...What's the shelf life on those posts?

Brother Dortch said...

If stored at exactly 65 degrees, and no higher, it is 20 years. If stored at any temperature above that, including the seventy-something most people's homes are heated or air-conditioned to, it is ten years. But, since Bakker's followers are not the brightest bunch in the world, let's just say all the postings last for 20 years and they'll be none the wiser!

Tanya said...

Ah, Brother Dortch - I have a gut feeling that there are some who may not appreciate what you pointed out: that the shelf life of the "food" Jim Bakker sells is actually half of what he claims if stored at normal living temperatures. But, since you took us down this particular road, may I join you there and add another thing that we've spoken of before: one serving size does not equal one meal. So Jim's claims of the number of meals in each bucket is also misleading.

I have a question about the Morningside Band, for anyone who is interested enough to answer - what is the point in pretending to play their instruments when pre-recorded tracks are being used?

I know, its no secret, but it was *very* apparent during a recent show with Bill Ballenger (I think that is his name) - we got a close up shot from behind the female piano player, and she had her hands poised over the keys, barely touching, but not pressing down... then she moved her hands over, again barely touching and not pressing down... pretending to play the piano.

I don't see the harm in singing to canned music, and I don't see the benefit to pretending to play - in fact, pretending to play makes things look more contrived, so...

Why the pretending?

Brother Dortch said...


Why the pretending about:

The four-week old choir?

Having a prescription refilled?

There was no witch hunt?

A "program" being a "college"?

The "college" running out of money?

"God spoke to me" when it was a actually a phone call?

...and many, many, more "pretends"

I always thought true Christianity was about the truth. In Blue Eye, MO they must have a different idea of what the word "truth" actually means!

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Bravo Ron!

Thanks for revealing once more the insanity of the frog's three ring circus called Moronside.

Grandma Maxine said...

Bro Dortch, as previously stated Nate has an entry level media position in a large company with great opportunities for advancement so stop asking your redundant question. If he would have produced and edited the Branson tornado video is would have been much better.

This weekend the JBS crew took a boat ride:
Skipper- Zach
Gilligan- Nolan
Mr Howell- Jimbo Bakker
Mrs Howell- Lori Bakker
Ginger- Ariel
Professor- Braydon
Mary Ann- Sasha
Boat anchor- Dino cakes

And when the Jim Bakker movie is made, John Ratzenberger is the one who should portray Jimbo with Linda Hogan as Lori!

Kool-Aid Kid said...


Any musician with even a ounce integrity would walk off the stage of moronside if asked to "air" play as much as this group of sorry zombies do. It was not that long ago that I mentioned viewing an eposide where the band's singer was sticking her tongue out at the camera person when she was supposed to be singing. LOL Backtracks are excellent for singers to learn and perform charts with if you do not have a musical group or no time to rehearsal with one. The reason Kevin employs backtracks is painfully obvious ... the moronside band sucks big time. Even the frog has stated recently that there is a "musical drought" on moronside. For every person that watches Bakker's show and is laughing at the band's "air" performance there are probably lots of stupid viewers that think it's the real thing. The frog knows this too.

Anonymous said...

Why do you people put down Dino Cakes? They are actually very good, made with the best ingredients and baked to perfection. You Appalachian hill folk need to lay off the "moon pies" and Little Debbie cakes and try some "high class" pastries. With all that cheap high sugar high carb. junk, no wonder some of you are so fat. Trust me Dino cakes are superb.

ZD,KS>> said...

@9:57, KoolaidKid had his Mom write that piece for him.

and it really, really works said...

This is fact. The best source of energy when you need a fire is Cow droppings, "cow pies", they contain a very high concentration of nitrates which burn with a good flame for grilling, campfires, and BBQ. You can dry them out in the sun and they last many years in that condition. All potential energy for when times get tough.

Federal Bureau of Prisons #07407-058 said...

really, really works,
What about when all the cows are dead? Killed by roving flashmobs?

Tanya said...

Brother D/KAK - I just find the air band stuff strange... I can understand the motivation for his other misrepresentations/lies, but pretending to play a piano? Or in one case, playing the drums, but much faster than the drums in the actual song (was the drummer even listening to the song? Do they even need a band? And I agree, KAK, a true musician wouldn't put up with that.

Oh well, just another thing to add to the list...

Brother Dortch said...

I hate to say this, but no one has ever accused The Morningside Band of being true musicians.

Bakker has butchered the entire music program there. The "musical drought" he spoke of earlier is his own fault and he has no one to blame but himself. He has now stolen a choir and is trying to make himself look good through lies and thievery. Sound familiar?

Not only is the fake playing his idea but the very worst example of it was the two tapings he decided to place Little Ricky on the drums, holding the sticks, and not so much as striking one drum or cymbal with them.

The saddest part of all this is that Randy Brown, his former music director, was an excellent musician and then JimBob proceeded to steal money from both his and his wife's paychecks with no permission. They had no choice but to walk out. Rumours began to immediately spread all throughout Morningside that Bakker had not paid Randy and his wife and had actually stolen money from both of their paychecks. The gossip and rumours became so bad, at Morningside, that Bakker had the nerve to actually incorporate this into a Sunday church service. He could not leave it in the office where it belonged and proceeded to take it directly to the pulpit. He stated to the congregation he knew people were gossiping and talking about him and saying:

"He didn't pay him his money!"

To which he told the entire congregation they were right.

"I didn't pay him his money. I paid him MORE than I told him he would get."

This, of course, was a complete lie. Chalk up one more falsehood for the ordained pastor who is as embarrassed to release his so-called "ordination credentials" as he is to use the term "Doctor" in front of his name because he knows his fake prison degree is a complete and total embarrassment in the realm of professional education!

If it were not for lies, cheating, deceit, and fraud then there would be no reason for Bakker's so- called ministry to even exist. After he dies, which hopefully will be soon, Lori & Mom will sell out and Morningside will then be exactly what it should be--an elderly condo community only without Bakker's bullshit inflating its actual value and worth.

Meade Skelton said...

Kevin's Mom was an excellent Keyboard player, too bad she left. That group back then could really jam, with Kevin on vocals they were and could "kick butt".

Griswold said...

My prediction is that on the 3rd of May, this site will have registered it's 100,000 visitor. You can depend on that. Not sooner nor later.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Meade Skelton,

Bakker's band back then may have been very good, I won't deny that. All I know is the band that appears on current tv show is horrible. Tanya, the drummer is actually playing along with the beat and you will see him hit high hat and ride cymbal in good rhythum. I'll give him credit for that much.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

... I meant rhythm! I'm a crappy speller at times. ;(

Anonymous said...

Don't forget people, when the world is coming to an end, unscrew the light bulb in your fridge.

Anonymous said...

Bakker's band was very good. Bakker would pay them top scale and they would moonlight at the really big shows of Branson, double dipping you might say. Bakker had better guest too, now his guest all have s schtick, they are trying to sell you something, they all are salesman. Bakker has one big infomercial there. Sure once in a while he throws in the "word of God" to get back on track, but he drifts off again to merchandizing. I don't know what you all feel about it but it's all pretty much a "fly by night" organization. None of his recent guest have the look of sincerety, they are all pitch men with an angle. Sad but true.

Brother Dortch said...

The most common complaint That former Bakker employees always bring to the table, after they have had time to take two steps back and examine the organization they formerly worked for, is the fact that Bakker's sweat shop is totally unprofessional. To term it a "fly by night" outfit is completely fitting and accurate.

A gentleman from California was once brought in to be the head of the fake college. After selling everything he owned and moving to Morningside to assume his new job, before he could ever even assume that job, it was taken away from him and he was offered an editing job instead!

The placement of "college teachers" who can barely write at at only a 4th grade level, is something totally substantiating this unprofessionalism.

On a recent show taping, about two-months ago, Lori actually said that the camera work for that day "is the worst we have ever had". The live shows are full of errors, miss-starts, re-starts, flubbed ad libs, shakey camera work, and losses of train of thought. Throw in the constant battles between Jim & Lori and his everyday stepping all over each and everything Lori wants to say, or has to say, and the public clearly sees the amateur act at its best. As you all know, it's not at all uncommon to hear Lori say: "Don't say that Jim or you'll go back to prison".

If the money was good, I could write a book on just the dumb and stupid and unprofessional things Mondo, all by himself, has done to shame this sham ministry.

The constant problems with the band, which bloggers have mentioned above, is just one of many diseased arms of the sick octopus known as Bakker & Morningside. Each guest has an agenda and that agenda is to push product and sell, sell, sell! Bakker, on the other hand, also has an agenda: spend, spend, spend! Then, as he recently did on live TV, boast about how it is the church's money he is spending and tell viewers how dependant he is on Social Security to live because:

"You all don't pay me a lot around here!"

The prison door cannot close fast enough, for my tastes, on this con artist and, when the right media organization decides it is time, I would give up one bucket of dehydrated beans to be able to hear it slam in person. Oh, and by the way, those beans are just like the ones Grandma picked and snapped!

Anonymous said...

Silver Sol is just another version of colloidal silver. There is always risk involved in ingesting silver (a metal), especially with people who are uniformed about those risks. The claim is that the silver particles are smaller in Silver Sol than with other brands of colloidal silver, but I don't see that this would reduce the risks inherent with drinking metal.

Federal Bureau of Prisons Prisoner #07407-058 said...

Hey, don't be disparaging SilverSol!!! If it turns your skin blue, you can always just go join up with Blue Man Group.

From Web MD: "The FTC says that so-called colloidal silver treatments allegedly good for 650 conditions including acne, tuberculosis, and athlete's foot are totally unproven."

Tanya said...

KAK: I saw one show where the drummer was wildly out of synch with the song - to the point where I wondered what on earth he was listening to, but yes, to be fair, that was only once.
Really, it was the female piano player that looked remarkably silly and made me ask the question about the band. I haven't seen any of the earlier incarnations of this band, so I have nothing to compare it to.

Brother Dortch: interesting information, as usual, thank you.
Funny you should mention the quality of the camera work, just today I saw an edit that was so choppy, so awful, that it looked like it was an old worn-out VHS tape that had skipped forward. And, lots of wiggles on camera shots that should be stationary.

The overall quality of the show decreases and the selling increases.

Well, Jim said that they had a lot of applications for the "school" when they attended that conference a little while back, perhaps they will get some more talented "students" who can hold a camera steady.

hebedat said...

Mondo is the type who engages his mouth before his brain. I remember about a year or so, maybe more, when he was on the show he made the most asinine comment about Lori, he said he was happy to see Lori in her "60"s cloths. She gave him a look of the Medusa. He's really a good boy, just kinda slow.

Anonymous said...

Silver Sol isn't colloidal silver at all. It's snake oil.

Anonymous said...

In the Dark Ages of civilization, they had folks called 'Alchemist", they were the precursors you might say of today's MDs. They had crazy ideas of turning base metals into Gold, that kind of thinking. What they also did was prepare and sell concoctions they labelled as health cures. Stuff had all kind of heavy metals in them, lead, mercury (quick silver), iron, arsenics, cupric. The mixtures would do more harm in the long run then good. That Silver Sol is just a fancy name for the same methods. It's called Pseudo science.

Not4Prophet said...

Ron I snort laughed all over my laptop on this one! My favorite blog from you ever! Why in the world would Jim entertain the JunkMan when his ideas are totally counter to Jimbo's money-making schemes? It was uncomfortable to watch but your take was truly Hilarious! Thanks. Enjoy your break from the JBS madness.

Brother Dortch said...

I have an interesting fact many, if not all of you, I'm sure do not know.

The drummer, who has been mentioned here, has a very unusual name for a male and it is not a fake name or a stage name. His actual real name is: Joy Sneed

No Nonsense Norski said...

What a GREAT post, Ron.

The Junk Man episode was just too rich. I couldn't believe it when it aired, and you captured it perfectly!

What great, fertile ground for the SNL - Second City crowd. Can't you just see Dan Aykroyd as the Junk Man?

So, okay, you can take a break, but DON'T BE GONE TOO LONG!


Thanks very much for the hilarity!

Anonymous said...

Thanks Ron,

Had a lot of fun reading about the junkman. This one made me laugh out loud.

I think the junkman needs a new job. Maybe he could be a professor at Jim's college. It would get him out of the house and garbage cans to be with people of his kind. lol

Dumpster diving 101

Jessica said...

WOW!....I figured it out..Ron is on an investigation assignment somewhere down south.

I have a new logo for Bakker's hat.."Oops! I Did it again!" or instead of his usual "God loves you and so do I" closing of the show. Now that I would believe.

Have fun Ron and we will be looking forward to your awesome humor and truth. Cheers!!

Kool-Aid Kid said...



Lori could relate to the "Oops! I Did it again!" slogan too.

Morningside rules...You pay dues!!! said...

Question: Did Ron "jump the shark"?

Kool-Aid Kid said...

To Morningside rules...You pay dues!!!

What gave you that impression? I don't think so.

Anonymous said...

Zach Drew has run out of alcohol to drink again. Darn! He'll be OK once he gets to the liquor store and perhaps gets some more porn to show the boyz in the crew too. That will calm him down.

Anonymous said...

Zach should have just grabbed some moonshinin' tips from Old Man Whaley before he blew town. Now he has to start the week off dry.

Zach is fine, thank U. said...

Don't worry about Zach!! He does OK hobknobbing with the big and famous, Who'd ever thought the guy would rise as quick and sure as he did. I'm sure there are, as always people out there just a wee bit jealous of his success. International and national TV, WOW!! Lucky guy.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

To Fat Zach is fine, thank U.

"Don't worry about Zach!!"

I don't worry about fat zach I laugh at him. The 666 show is by far the best one.

"He does OK hobknobbing with the big and famous"

That's a lie.

"Who'd ever thought the guy would rise as quick and sure as he did"

It's easy to strut around the moronside nursing home as a local hero, but not in the real world.

"I'm sure there are, as always people out there just a wee bit jealous of his success."

Another lie.

"International and national TV, WOW!! Lucky guy."

There is no luck involved. He has chosen to be labelled an idiot by his association with the frog.

Anonymous said...

You know what would be crazy, if all this time... Ron(the creator of this blog) is really Jim Baker!!!!! Nooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!
Sincerely Zach Drew sweaty ass

Pasta Figalini said...

I see that the people here even put down Mr Gilberti's resturant as a sort of 2 star joint. Let me tell you the pizza there is the best I've ever had and the anti-pasto is superb, the sauce is a family recipe and absolutely great. Never judge a book by it's cover, Mr Gilberti's place is homey, clean with an old world ambiance.

Kool-Aid Kid said...


I have one for you too ...

What if Jim Bakker was actually the devil.


Anonymous said...

^^^To the nimrod above me. Old world ambiance? By old world do you mean dirty old food, cause that's all I was served when I ate there. Don't believe me, read my review. Jim Baker wrote that comment.

Anonymous said...

To kak@3:11 What if Lori Bakker is really a old, used up crack whore... hang on, uh... My bad, she is a old, used up crack whore. Sry

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Pasta Figalini

Don't worry about the bad reviews at the Foodbucket about Mr. Gilberti's dumpy place. The zombies will continue to wonder in and the hillbillies can't read anyways. Okay, now back into your kitchen and punch down more dough.

Anonymous said...

To Zach is fine @ 2:42

Zach is hobknobbing with the big and famous, lol, Yes, you're right Zach is hobknobbing with the BIG alright! But he certainly isn't hobknobbing with anyone famous. No one famous would be caught dead with Jim Bakker or fatman Zach!!!

The Jim Bakker show if famous that Jim has to threaten he'll fire his employees if they won't sit in the audience to make it look like he has a crowd. lol The few in the viewing audience are mentally ill, senile people, or us, those who like to tune in for a good laugh!

Craig said...

I would really like to trash jim's latest con about his generator but since the only info I can find about it is from the morningside website, I call bullshit. Just another income stream for the fake pastor. Wake up zombies.

Santwanne said...

Brother Dortch,
If Nate Parkhurst were still there the production and editing would be top notch and the final product would be high quality as it was back in the day. But, now he is in a much better situation with a great opportunity for advancement!

Craig said...

The production quality used to be better but was elementary at best. It has become unwatchable to me. Nate is better off just by the fact he's no longer in the morningside circus. He is no better off for his time there, in fact it closes many doors just by the fact he was a frog worshiper.

Tanya said...

Seriously - not tired of parading Nate Parkhurst as the big success of Morningside yet? This particular topic is boring now (no offense to Nate personally).

Nate is not still at Morningside, therefore, what would or would not be the case if he was there is irrelevant.

At least there's some honesty - Santwanne admitted the production is not high quality. That's something.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Yes I agree, Nate is a non-issue, zzzzzzzzzzzz boring.

Brother Dortch said...

The reason I am not responding to the Nate Parkhurst issue is that we have already spent an inordinate amount of time on it and it is now boring and I will not go down that road again. Thank-you!

I would like to further say this. Even though it is not true, let us assume that at least ONE person (instead of ZERO) from each graduating class of the fake college got a job in media. Considering the number of kids the program has had since its inception, that would still make the fake college a total failure. Considering that NONE of them have gotten so much as one job, it makes the fake college completely laughable!

Concerning the production values: I was recently watching an episode and two people were talking. The next thing I saw was an edit, with two completely different people talking and no audio. This was right in the middle of an ongoing conversation! So, as you can clearly now see and understand, the production values being taught at the fake college are laughable too!

Tanya said...

Watching the first appearance of the "fuel-less generator."

First thing I noticed: Lori is getting prepared. She said "they don't tell me anything around here, I just go with the flow..." Good try, Lori, but remember: "ignorantia legis neminem excusat" (ignorance of the law excuses no-one). We all may be more familiar with the English maxim "ignorance of the law is no excuse."

Second thing: Jim said he was given the generator to test, and decided he would not give it back. What are the odds that Jim handed over the $1700 that Jim is selling it for?

Third thing: antiperspirant, Jim. Use it.

Tanya said...

One thought more: I'm not knocking the solar generator itself. I don't know anything about the product, it could be fantastic.

In fact, I'll just agree now that it *is* fantastic - and we can skip all the back-and-forth about how the generator is a good thing. Personally, I like the idea of solar power, what's not to like?

Its not about the generator itself - the generator is simply another thing on the list of things Jim is selling.

TV Ministries Use of Airtime 2004 said...

FALL 2004
by Stephen Winzenburg
Professor of Communications
Grand View College
Des Moines, IA


“Bakker had told me in an exclusive prison interview that he had plans for a number of religious programs and networks once he was freed. But the one thing that stood in his way was the judge’s order that he not ask for money while on probation. So for years he traveled to churches to preach his “forgiven” gospel while waiting for the chance to get back on the air, which he knew would require him to fundraise.
That opportunity came with “The New Jim Bakker Show,” broadcast live since early 2003 from a restaurant studio in Branson, Missouri…The family atmosphere includes appearances by their adopted children and the show’s casual nature includes frequent mistakes and camera errors. It all adds to the underdog picture that Bakker likes to paint of himself…Unfortunately, most of his rhetoric leads to the raising of money. When the show first aired Bakker spent no time fundraising, but once his fundraising restrictions were lifted and the show expanded to stations around the United States he began to have to ask for money to pay his TV bills. He resorts to statements similar to those he used while doing the “PTL Club” 25 year earlier, such as “Our ministry is going through life and death and we only have a few hours left” or “I’m fighting the worst battle of my life today” or “We need a miracle desperately…I need 1000 people to give $100 to keep us alive… He offers excuses such as “I’ve had a hard time raising money because of the past” or “I’ve been grieving so much over our problems I’ve been physically ill.” Instead of seeing himself as causing a problem, he sees the lack of viewer support as being the problem.
A request for an audited financial statement was responded to five days later with a four-sentence greeting saying "it means so much to Lori and me to hear from our friends….We want to be a blessing to you!” No mention is made of finances or how we can receive a statement. And the ministry never made any contact after that. So those contributing to Bakker have no idea where the money is going or how it is being spent.
Despite prison promises to change, Bakker has unfortunately returned to his old bad habits. His major flaw is that he builds a ministry on credit, then he expects viewers to bail him out. In one particularly embarrassing episode of the show, Bakker had a huge display board of all the cities in America where the show airs, with the amount needed to stay on the air in each city and the number of people who had contributed. In some cities he had only two contributors! This is a man who gets himself into deep debt under the guise of God calling him to expand the ministry, then he harasses viewers for not supporting him. Bakker has not learned his lesson even after years in prison.
Ironically, Bakker loves to complain about “arrogant, ego-centric” believers, yet he fails to see that almost every time he opens his mouth it’s to either proclaim a unique revelation God has given him or to coerce others into getting him out of the financial messes he gets himself into." (to be continued below)

TV Ministries Use of Airtime 2004 said...

FALL 2004
by Stephen Winzenburg
Professor of Communications
Grand View College
Des Moines, IA
(Part Two)

"While claiming to be Christ-centered, the program is really Bakker-centered. For his 65th birthday he spent 15 minutes reading from his book “I Was Wrong” (bragging of the surprise birthday party his fellow convicts gave him that included stolen food) before offering the book to viewers for a “birthday gift” contribution of $65. He uses a type of false modesty to ask for money by proclaiming, “I didn’t think anybody’d watch Jim Bakker again” with a tear in his eye…His words may reflect a bit more humility, but the attitude is still very self-serving.” Article 8-23-11 said...

"We live in an age of prophets. Christian prophets. We are, in fact, rolling in them and almost all are out there predicting apocolyptic doom and gloom and often raking in a tidy profit doing it. Some take a risk by making very specific prophecies, like California's Harold Camping who made headlines earlier this year when he predicted "the Rapture" would take place on May 21, 2011. Others play it safe by predicting the end of the world is coming soon but without saying exactly when and croaking ominously about the "signs and portents" they see in every natural disaster or social meme they disapprove of. Still more play it even safer yet by claiming that some vague forecast of doom was a prediction of a specific tragedy... after the fact.

It's in this last category that televangelist and former Assemblies of God minister Jim Bakker falls. You may remember Jim as the co-host (along with his wife, the late Tammy Faye Bakker) of the evangelical Christian TV program The PTL Club. If you remember that much about him, perhaps you also remember the lurid sex scandal that led to his resignation from his ministry; not to mention a subsequent indictment for 24 counts of mail fraud, wire fraud and conspiracy (all of which he was found guilty of) that led to the cancellation of The PTL Club and him serving time in federal prison. Jerry Falwell, who succeeded Bakker as the head of the PTL Ministry, called him a liar, an embezzler, a sexual deviant, and "the greatest scab and cancer on the face of Christianity in 2,000 years of church history...Funny thing about these disasters; the prophet Jim Bakker failed to foresee any of them.

But hey, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Right?

Since 2003, Bakker has been broadcasting The Jim Bakker Show daily on Dish, DirecTV and the CTN Cable Network. And on his August 12 show, he claimed:

"I saw 9/11 in 1999 before New Year's Eve... I said there's going to be terrorism; there's going to be a bombing in New York and Washington DC. I said it would be at a high defense location in DC..."

He goes on to describe his "vision" of the tragedy in amazing detail... or at least it would be amazing if we weren't hearing about it only now. He finishes up by saying that the attacks were probably God’s judgment on America because God “let his hand down of protection for those planes to come in to hit those buildings.”

Bakker wasn't alone in making that 9/11 claim on his program either. With him was the prophet Cindy Jacobs, who also claimed to have predicted the 9/11 attacks. Now Cindy Jacobs is usually more of a "signs and portents" kind of prophet. Around the beginning of this year, she made headlines when she claimed that some mysterious mass bird deaths in Arkansas were a warning of God's judgement against America for the repeal of the "don't ask, don't tell" policy for gays in the military. It's nice to know that Cindy's branching out into the ex post facto prophecy business too."

(Article by Hugh Kramer 8-23-11)


Posting by Jay Smith

"After Jim was released from prison, he resided in Hendersonville NC. My son, at that time, was a high school student and worked part-time in a Hendersonville drug store. He said that Jim along with two females frequently visited the drug store and bought condoms at every visit. I have personally met Jim and believe that he should have been wearing a condom over his head to stem his flow of BS. I watch him on his TV program and can’t believe that the IRS provides a tax exemption…because 90% of his program is selling food, water bottles, jewelry, etc. Many of his guest seem to have questionable backgrounds that reek of shysters. Jim says that money is the root of all evil….he just wants you to send your root to him. He calls his students “college” students; while they are, in reality, a goofy bunch that probably could not get into a mainstream college program. He uses them as free labor which is pretty impressive on his part. If you want any of his products, please know that you can buy the same stuff at lower prices from the vendors themselves. Note that he has his entire family and his wife’s family on the payroll…just like he did at PTL. I definitely agree that Jim is entertaining but so is a monkey…and the monkey won’t come after your wallet."

Kool-Aid Kid said...


"I definitely agree that Jim is entertaining but so is a monkey…and the monkey won’t come after your wallet."

That line is so perfect.

Anonymous said...

Is this kid on crack or what?

Anonymous said...

Please please fill me in. What is the latest update on Nate? I can't get enough hearing about Bakker success stories..

Anonymous said...

I ate at Gilberti's restaurant and got the shits . I think the old boy is using some type of Bakker 20 year cheese. "When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, get the shits at Gilberti's."

Kool-Aid Kid said...


Nate? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Moronside success stories? hahahahaha

Los Angeles Ministry Worker said...

I was recently watching a Masters Media broadcast in which the kids were talking about that new TV network and how they are going to be attempting to win souls for Christ and doing it in an unothodox way. They went on to explain exactly what they meant by having one of them describe an upcoming show or series of shows which they claimed to be working on right now.

In this new set of shows, they said they would be filming Jesus. I am assuming they meant the statue of Jesus that was recently installed on Grace Street but, if not, they must have another Jesus somewhere else they will be aiming the camera at. But, they continued, instead of showing the actual face of Jesus, they said it was going to be replaced with the face of Zach Drew who would be speaking words in an attempt to win over the youth audience to Christ.

I am totally offended that someone like Jim Bakker could commit blasphemy of the image of Jesue Christ by the replacement of his face with the speaking face of Zach Drew. I do not call this the work of God, but rather, the work of the devil himself. I do not find it funny, or cute, or revolutionary, in any way shape or form. I am shocked that true meaning Christians could even allow this to occur locally before their own congregation--much less broadcast this garbage out over the air.

It is no wonder Jim Bakker is so disliked in the Christian community. He will stoop to the lowest possible level to raise funds in the name of God when it is very clear who the real "God" at Morningside is. That "God" is not the one mentioned in my Bible or yours, believe me. I see, hear, work around, and communicate with, real Christians on a daily basis and Jim Bakker is a joke! The very mention of his name brings a frown to everyone's faces here and we are all embarrassed the FCC still allows this charlatan to be on TV.

Anonymous said...

To Anon 6:43,

The only Jim Bakker success story: HE STILL SUCKERS FOOLS LIKE YOU! He's got your money and your allegiance. So much for your claim of being a christian. So sad, so bad when you face the real God on your judgement day.

Anonymous said...

I have just finished watching the video 6:40 above talked about and it is terrible. To think that this is the work of not just a student, but a teacher, in the fake college shows me that everything people have been saying about the sham school is correct. James should be the "Poster Child" of exactly what happens to your life when your Grandfather is a convicted felon who served time for swindling the elderly and is released from federal prison and allowed to take church funds and do exactly what he wants to do with them again. Why anybody would waste their life associating with this con artist and his deviant lifestyle is totally beyond me.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Watched it too anon640am.

James “Mini Me” on his MoronNow video wants to hear about
premarital sex, zombie apocalypse, cocaine, alien attacks, alcohol, drugs, The Matrix, marijuana … mmmmmm …. missed out Jesus somewhere along the way Mini Me. LOL

Anonymous said...

Somebody needs to do the math for me. On the show that aired yesterday in my area, they are selling the solar generator along with a hand crank generator. The cost is $1700. Then, Bakker said that the Foodbucket guy is donating $950 from each sale to the ministry. He went on to say that the price on the generator is the same price that it costs Frank Davis to produce them. Then he said that the whole package was a $2700 value that we are getting for $1700, and the money the ministry makes on the item is "slim" and that they are "practically giving them away".

What? I didn't follow anything he said. It just made no sense at all.

Anonymous said...

I watched part of it too. I couldn't stand the poor quality of the filming, and the boring presentation.
I think they feel James was being humorous and entertaining. Does it seem Jim Bakker is getting desperate to find a way to legitimize his fake school?

Question For Lori & Char Graham said...

I read with interest a short while ago on this blog, the story of a gay young man who, I think, used the name "Josh" and told of being a Morningside employee and complimented by Jim Bakker on his appearance and invited to appear on Jim's show by Bakker himself. Morningside then admitted this man was "openly homosexual" and left their employment because he just did not fit in.

I am surprised no one has ever brought this question up before so I will ask it now for the first time. I think the ideal persons from Morningside and Bakker's ministry to answer it should be either Bakker's wife or mother-in-law or both.

I would like for either Lori or her mother to explain, knowing the propensity Jim Bakker has for men, sexually, what are you doing even hiring an "openly homosexual" male employee at the ministry in the first place? I am not saying that you should discriminate, but if you had a convicted child molester living next door would you take your two young children there for babysitting every day? By the hiring of an "openly homosexual" male, who would be both supervised by and in the company of Jim Bakker, himself, are you not simply asking for trouble?

How can you, Lori & Char, be so completely and totally out of it as to not know that placing an "openly homosexual" male around Jim Bakker is simply the wrong thing to do? Are you two ladies either the dumbest two ladies on the planet, or do you just don't care as long as the money Bakker is funneling to himself, in your names, keeps rolling in?

Granny Apples said...

I don't think Josh really existed I think that was a Troll post. For argument purposes, if he did exist face the fact Morningside is a Christian Community, I'm sure they don't go for that homosexual nonsense. Especially a guy running around trying to pick up audience members and young students. Sure live and let live is fine but they must keep a lid any inappropriate behaviour and keep that element out. Also, that would be hypocritical to preach the Bible and it's condemnation of gays and allow it to exist flagrantly in such a solemn place. You trolls would be the first to cry "phony" "practice what you preach"! If Josh does exist, tell him to go through the normal channels, lodge a grievence, starting with the Department of Discrimination and state EEOC organisations if he's entitled to a Justice, take action and act like a man don't go the sissy route and post here looking for "bleeding hearts". Helpless folk like that make me cringe.

Granny Apples said...

I don't think Josh really existed I think that was a Troll post. For argument purposes, if he did exist face the fact Morningside is a Christian Community, I'm sure they don't go for that homosexual nonsense. Especially a guy running around trying to pick up audience members and young students. Sure live and let live is fine but they must keep a lid any inappropriate behaviour and keep that element out. Also, that would be hypocritical to preach the Bible and it's condemnation of gays and allow it to exist flagrantly in such a solemn place. You trolls would be the first to cry "phony" "practice what you preach"! If Josh does exist, tell him to go through the normal channels, lodge a grievence, starting with the Department of Discrimination and state EEOC organisations if he's entitled to a Justice, take action and act like a man don't go the sissy route and post here looking for "bleeding hearts". Helpless folk like that make me cringe.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Granny "Zombie" Apples@1008am

"I don't think Josh really existed I think that was a Troll post"

I agree with you on that point.

"For argument purposes, if he did exist face the fact Morningside is a Christian Community, I'm sure they don't go for that homosexual nonsense."

I think Jim Bakker's son would disagree with you on that point.

Jay Bakker, son of disgraced televangelists Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker (Messner), has not only completely embraced the Emerging Church theology which is poisoning our church today, but he is now an outspoken gay-affirming pastor who has said that God spoke to his heart and told him that homosexuality is not a sin.

Have a talk with Jim Bakker about the above zombie.

"Also, that would be hypocritical to preach the Bible and it's condemnation of gays and allow it to exist flagrantly in such a solemn place."

Jim bakker is known to have had at least one homosexual relationship with a male hairstylist prior to his downfall. He had an afair with Chris Howard, son of Portland Oregon attorney Scott Howard. Chris admitted this affair in an interview in 2003 on the Lars Larson national show and produced photo's of them together in early 1987. Three former PTL employees have confirmed the gay relationship with Chris Howard.

"Helpless folk like that make me cringe."

Wow, I didn't know zombies could cringe.

Anonymous said...

What GenerationNow video is everyone referring to? Thanks.

Kool-Aid Kid said...


here's the link

Granny Apples said...

I doubt if Bakker's son is gay. What give you that idea? If he is gay that's fine, but to make up a story that he's gay out of meaness is way past what is acceptable behaviour, even for trolls.

Anonymous said...

Granny Apples,

Jeez Granny don't get your panties in a bunch, NO ONE SAID JAY IS GAY!! Someone said that he is gay affirming. Big difference! You need new glasses granny. Your way to touchy, even for a zombie.


Anonymous said...

I've eaten at Gilberti's Pizzaria a few times. I thought the food was very good, almost like New York style pizza. Big slices, it is a pretty popular spot.

Kool-Aid Kid said...


"I doubt if Bakker's son is gay."

If that's what you think. I agree.

"What give you that idea?"

Never said anything like that. Look again at what I posted.

"If he is gay that's fine, but to make up a story that he's gay out of meaness is way past what is acceptable behaviour, even for trolls."

I made up nothing about Jay being gay.
I'm not a troll either, but you are a moronside old zombie lacking comprehension skills.

Federal Bureau of Prisons Prisoner #07407-058 said...

The Bible does not condemn gays.

Anonymous said...

Federal Bureau of Prisons, The bible does not condemn gays, just their sexual orientation.

Yes Jim is Gay or Bi said...

It amazes me that, after all this time, there are still people who want to discuss whether Jim Bakker is gay or not. How much evidence do you people want? Look up his top aide, David Taggart, and his pimp, John Wesley Fletcher. Fletcher, who arranged the tryst Bakker had with Jessica Haun, has publically admitted he had homosexual sex with Bakker three times and both men told their entire story in an artice called "The Devil In Jim Bakker". Also, yet another Bakker staff member who was a married man, had homosexual activities with Bakker and was rewarded with an unlimited budget for his department and assurances from Jim that he was doing God's work. That is from the People Magazine article called "Unholy Roller Coaster". So, along with the person mentioned above, that is a grand total of four men and I am sure there were more. In fact, Bakker was rumoured to have had a homosexual relationship with another staff member while working at CBN early in his career. If you are gay you don't turn it on or off. You either are or you are not. One of the main reasons, if not the main reason, Jim's son is so pro-gays must be the fact that he has lived his entire adult life knowing his own father is of that persuasion.

Not4Prophet said...

yes, jim is gay or bi---

interesting points to ponder. Jimbo's ex=wife Tammy Faye also went out of her way to support gays. A good video to watch is "The Eyes Of Tammy Faye"

Anonymous said...

FYI, the Jason story was not made up, I know him. He told me he commented here, and I just needed to back him up. The reason he let ya'll know and not the authorities, cause it wasn't that serious. He just wanted to affirm your claims of Bakker being a sleazy, lyin, closetted gay man.BTW, Jason isn't flamboyant by any means, Bakker just could pick up on Jason being gay. Gay people can tell when someone else is Gay. Funny pictures by the way.

Anonymous said...

No, He's probably Pro-Gay cause he's a tolerant Human Being. You trolls feel the need to spin everything and everybody to suit your fantastic way of looking at reality and gain leverage, no matter what unfair methods it involves. The bottom line is you guys really suck and have absolutely no sense of fair-play and old fashion virtues. You are like carriers of all that is rotten in humanity. I hope you are all gay or eunuchs so you won't breed anymore and pass your vile traits and genes to other generations. You are not half the man the Pastor is and deep down I think you resent that.

Yes Jim is Gay or Bi said...

The Morningside people have already admitted that Jason worked there so that much is a given.

If Jason has something to say about what he saw or heard, minus the being felt up by Bakker part, please let him come back on here and tell what he observed at Morningside.

For example, how does Jim talk to his own employees? How about the treatment of the students? It has been said noth Jim and Lori verbally abuse Grandma Char, is that true? Anything else he witnessed would be welcome here.

Anonymous said...

@1.49... Sure!! I bet!! Liar!! You just say that hoping to give some measure of credence to that "Jason Bullshit", You want these idiot trolls to say; see!! that verifies it", "genuine corroboration by this annnon poster", 'JASON LIVES!!!!". Get Bent, MONKEYS!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Look out... Here comes Mr. Zach Drew @2:02 covering up his sugar daddy jims mess again. Hey fat Zach, did you use your HTC evo to make that comment?

Anonymous said...

The use of name calling by Bakker supporters only continues to make yourself and your leader look more like a cult with each and every post you make here. I would suggest if you do not have any facts to back up what you are trying to say, and you clearly don't, then perhaps it might be best to not say anything at all.

Kool-aid Kid said...

Anon "Gay Hater" @ 155pm

"No, He's probably Pro-Gay cause he's a tolerant Human Being"

... but what if he was tolerate of his gay father too.

"You trolls feel the need to spin everything and everybody to suit your fantastic way of looking at reality and gain leverage, no matter what unfair methods it involves"

No, no you silly sick zombie ... we are not trolls.

"The bottom line is you guys really suck and have absolutely no sense of fair-play and old fashion virtues."

There is no fair play or good old fashion virtues in ripping people off you old zombie.

You are like carriers of all that is rotten in humanity. "

I think you smell like you need to change you Depends.
I hope you are all gay or eunuchs so you won't breed anymore and pass your vile traits and genes to other generations"

You are a very mean and stupid moronside zombie that needs to sit downstairs in front of that big honking statue and pray.
You are not half the man the Pastor is and deep down I think you resent that."

He is not a man. he is a frog.

Trystan said...

Dick Dortch,
Santwanne already answered your question, but I will add another former student to shut you up. Charlotte Wintercorn graduated a few years ago and is now very successful working at a media company also!

Federal Bureau of Prisons Prisoner #07407-058 said...

Anonymous @ 1:16 pm, nowhere in the New Testament are gays or their sexual orientation condemned.

Yes Jim is Gay or Bi said...

Let us assume for the moment that each and everything that has been published by very reputable news organizations about Jim being gay is false and untrue. Don't you think that there would be, somewhere, someplace, and at sometime, an article Bakker either wrote or was interviewed for that denies all these accusations? I challenge the Bakker zombies to show us just one such article where Jim denies being gay or bi. If you are not able to display such an article then quit making such ridiculous attemps to cover up for your shortcomings by calling everyone who posts to this blog gay and making all of you at Morningside further look like fools. The use of name calling is not, the last I heard, part of those good old fashioned virtues you claim to value so much. Also, I am sure if you were to ask Susan Ruiz about those virtues you claim to hold so high, she might possibly have another opinion about them because she witnessed them in her life firsthand.

Anonymous said...

I wish I could ask Susan a lot of things. She has disappeared and keeps a low profile, I know if the allegations she alledges are in fact true, which I doubt, and if I were her, I'd be looking for some payback. What kind of fool gets taken for that money and just walks away. My conclusion...another ghost story by the anti-Bakker clown clan.

Anonymous said...

Hey 2:38

Keep telling yourself that. Maybe one day you will even believe it!

fed up with the fools at Morningside and JB ministries said...

The Bakker supporters come hear and post their stupid tirades and prove over and over they are not christians.

1:55 says Jim is tolerant, and I suppose this person thinks they are also. That is why they attack and name call those they disagree with. Good going fool, way to show the world how a christian responds to those who you disagree with

Jim is nothing more than a con man that has proven over and over he is a slut to money and deviant sex. I would never admire a man headed for hell.

Charlet For President of CBS-TV said...

I know Charlet Ruth (Wintercorn) Turnbull. She was the lady who, while a former student at Masters, was dating James and both of them were heavily involved and that all ended WHEN JIM & LORI TOLD JAMES TO KNOCK IT OFF. James, who was around twenty or twenty-one at the time, had no choice but to do what they said or risk being sent home. Charlet then married another man. She is now living in the large metro area of Tiffin, IA which has a population of 975 and covers a whopping area of THREE SQUARE MILES! Yes, she sure is in the broadcasting business all right. Who is she broadcasting to, her next door neighbor? LOL! I can reach more people than that with the camera on my laptop computer! LOL LOL LOL Nice try fools!

Anonymous said...

How sweet, the little Bakker zombies are angry. Maybe you guys should go to the Tanger Outlets and have some retail therapy. Not with your hard earned money , but with the money you took from lonely old senile people. What a great bunch you are, keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...


If this is really you posting on here then I am disappointed in you. Disappointed because of the way you talk. I thought you were one of the few decent kids from MMC.

Can you tell us what media outlet Charlotte works for in Iowa City? What are you doing yourself Trystan? Are you working in Christians media? Is Santwane working in christians media? If Charlotte is working in christian media taking the gospel to another generation then Praise God! That would be one out of how many that have graduated from this phony school.

God Bless you Trystan

twisted my arm said...

to 2:53... Why not! Good Idea! I always feel better after a shopping spree. Then we'll stop for beer and pizza at Gilberti's. Life is good!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

It's great to see the christians from the Jim Bakker ministry come out of their bunkers and spew their ignorance and hatred all over the place. We get to see what they have in them in living color, and it isn't Jesus! Another lie of the Jim Bakker ministry.

If I was a real christian involved in the JB ministry or lived in that fine "christian community" Morningside; I would be so ashamed to be associate with the people posting here.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Twist my chubby arm @ 305pm,

Here's a better idea Zach.
Get silly drunk while having greasy pizza at Gilberti's and then write 666 on all your fake school zombies foreheads that are in the restaurant with you.

Anonymous said...

I watched the generation videos and I have to say you guys are off the mark. I'm not much older than you, and probably the same age as Zach. I was born again in my 20's, and nobody had to speak to me like that.

I guess these videos are the brainchild of a 70 year old man who thinks he knows what it takes to reach the 'young folks'. It's so off the mark, which is too bad. Choppy editing and an irreverent attitude don't make you "cool" or make the videos more appealing to a younger audience. There is nothing of substance there, much like Jim's show. I watched an entire episode dedicated to a solar powered generator, with not one bit of preaching except Jim said, "the Son of Man has given us an energy source... the sun."

Anonymous said...

Those are not "chubby",those guns are 20" pythons. Get real bonehead!!!

Anonymous said...

I know Trystan and, while she remains very active in her local church youth group, she is not employeed in media and has never been.

I also know Charlet Turnbull. The story told above is correct. Like Susan Ruiz, she was run out of Morningside when it was determined, by Jim & Lori, she was not good enough to be dating Jim's Grandson James. James has never recovered from that snub by his Grandparents and has never forgotten it either. Jim attempted to win back James by gifting him with money and presents after he was told to, and did, dump Charlet. I am sure if you were to ask Charlet about how she feels about the Bakkers and Morningside she would not have much good to say. It is sad the zombies cling on to such small hopes when the actual truth is staring them right in the face. And James, I have watched the new video you posted in the link above and you look like you are on some of Lori's pills. Could it be your mind is drifting back to the days of you and Charlet?

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Anon "Chubby Arms" Zombie

The guns? are sagging from the fat from too many Gilberti pizzas. The only "python" you see is the one you leave in the toliet Zach.

Anonymous said...

Oh man, these wannabe hipster dipster morningside kids are so lame. James: "Sometimes I like to go on twitter and tweet #jesus". So far you have reached 0 of your generation. You don't care about "your generation", you care about selling to the weak minded. The "solar generator" is worth about $150, at the most. Its Chinese made crap, and will break. You could by a much better light duty(his device is extremely light duty/cheap) solar kit, with solar controller on for $279. What are you punks defending by your comments on here, the fact that you con people. There is nothing to defend, trust me . Oh yah, making light of the situation with silly comebacks just hurt you. Lol dummies

Yes Jim is Gay or Bi said...

May 27, 1987 Jerry Falwell, who took over PTL after Bakker left the organization, had this to say, during a 90 minute press conference, to Jim Bakker:

During a 90-minute press conference, Jerry Falwell admonishes Jim Bakker: "I have sat across the table from men who have told me of your homosexual advances."

Also, according to, in an article called "Jim Bakker Televangelest Male Whore"

"The Bakkers and their empire had blown through $158 million of their ministry's donations. In his self-serving confession I Was Wrong, Jim admitted squandering church money on luxury cars and six mansions. When he got caught, there were 47 separate bank accounts in Jim's name.

After wasting money on every conceivable amenity, they brainstormed some truly frivolous expenditures. $100 in cinnamon buns just to imbue their hotel suite with the smell. A dog house equipped with air-conditioning, which was too noisy for the mutt to sleep in. $60,000 in gold-plated bathroom fixtures."

Anonymous said...

To 3:30,

Thanks for sharing about Charlotte. That is so sad and so sick. I was flabbergasted that they sent Maria away after her indiscretions with Nate. It was strange after Lori visited Maria at the kids home Lori announced on the show Maria has now decided to have Jim and Lori pick her mate. Weird, weird, weird. Jim and Lori must be real control freaks. So much for God being in control. Just what I would want from my church leaders. There have been so many good people run out of that place, it's sickening the way they treat people. They run the good out and then all you get is the garbage left, the likes of what post here.

Anonymous said...

The whole Morningside thing is like one big soap opera. I find it hard to believe that all that I have read here in regards to Morningside is accurate.

Craig said...

I agree with your assessment of the solar generator jim is selling. In addition, the solar panels only work in the sun. So the trouble is how to store the electricity to use when it isn't sunny. Batteries work for that, and they work well. But they don't run or charge things for an infinite amount of time, nor are they capable of storing lots of kilowatts. Basically, whatever you can run and charge with your car battery is what this generator "may" do. The zombies would be better off to buy a conventional generator and distill the grain in their slop buckets for fuel.

Press Release 3-27-11 said...

Office of the President

30 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY 10112


Good day!

Mr. Nate Parkhurst, President and C.E.O. of NBC, is proud to announce that, after a fierce bidding war with the CBS Television Network, we are proud to announce that Mrs. Charlet Ruth Wintercorn-Turnbull has joined NBC in her new position of Executive Vice President.

Mrs. Turnbull, is an "almost" graduate of Morningside College in Blue Eye, MO who was forced to leave mid-term after it was determined, by college president Jim Bakker and his wife, that she was not good enough to be dating Bakker's grandson, James.

A resident of Tiffin, IA (population 975) Mrs. Turnbull quickly became a media giant in this major metropolitan market which covers exactly three square miles. In fact, the network has done extensive demographic studies on this market and has determined the following to be true:

Total Pouulation: 975
People at work during the day: 80%
Amount of people left: 194
People actually watching TV: 20%
Actual TV sets turned on: 38
People sitting at TV watching: 30%
Total viewing audience: 12
Bonus (Bakker's dozen): 13 viewers

With the above sanctioned demographic studies firmly in hand, we at NBC are most proud to say that Mrs. Turnbull has just the right ingredients and backgound to lead NBC in the direction of a ratings winner amongst all television networks everywhere.

We also would like to also offer this congratulatory statement from Morningside College spokesman, Mondo De La Vega, in regard to the appointment of Charlet Turnbull as the new Executive Vice President of our network. Here is exactly what Mondo had to say:

"Me tinks Charlet is goot gurl and flygirl y Charlet has goot edukation at Kollege y she is not mal y she is friend of james y former lover of james y shame did not werk out with james y Charlet es strong gurl y works at big media conglamorate in Tiffin, IA y dis conglamorate es not small es huge y dat es why Charlet es goot fer netwerk"

We are sure that you will all join with us, and Mr. De La Vega, in giving your complete and total support to Mrs. Turnbull as she immediately begins her new position as Executive Vice President of NBC.


Nate Parkhurst

Anonymous said...

To 4:19,

Everything written here is true, you can be assured of that. I have watched it all happen. I also have said the same thing you did, it is like a soap opera around here!

Anonymous said...

I remember as a child reading the story of King Midas and how everything he touched turned to gold. Everything Bakker and Morningside touches, it seems, turns to shit. I would be completely and totally embarrassed to have anything to do with this place.

Anonymous said...

I now have a new definition of my perception of good neighbors. Pulled the wool over some eyes, they did. Slipped in a meeting to annex property into the city of Blue eye ( Lori's House). Accordingly, it is believed they did not follow protocol as far as notifiying surrounding property owners.

Anonymous said...

When Tammy Sue is heard singing from behind the door, Jim is shown talking to Lori. He doesn't look up until Lori starts to stand up, at which point he starts the theatrical facial antics which are obviously so phony and rehearsed
..when Jim heard someone singing, when he was under the impression that Kevin would be the only person singing that song, at that point he would naturally look up and turn his attention to where the unknown voice was coming from...not waiting until Lori stood up to turn around. This really makes Tammy Sue surprise. Return look like it was staged. Looks as phony as Jim's tears.

Anonymous said...

I'm very worried about Zach Drew. Over the past couple of months he has ballooned to almost Kevin Shoreys size. No jokes or hate here, I care(pardon the pun). Please, please, please, just go for a little walk around morningside EVERY night. STAY AWAY from Mr. Gilbertis pizza, it will only hurt you. Keep your head up bro.

Kool-Aid Kid said...


.... and moronside zombie pigs like to wallow in it too!

Tanya said...

Kudos to those who were able to get through the entire video of James asking what people want them to talk about on the GenerationNOW channel - I didn't make it past one minute. I hope that before anyone considers attending the Morningside "school," they watch that video - James is one of the teachers.

I do wonder if the students' YouTube junk got ahead of Jim Bakker a little bit. I know we were talking about how ridiculous the videos were on this blog when they first started popping up (we began with Zach being the [diva] "Bossman") - not too long after our discussion began here, Jim Bakker addressed the videos on his show. He said he didn't know they had already gone on the Internet, and asked Zach who the real Zach was - the nice preacher boy sitting beside Jim on set, or the jerk in the videos. Zach said the real him was in the online videos - we were treated to a heavy-handed edit, and when they returned, and ta-da! Zach said he was improvising, acting, doing "characters" and "skits." Jim then said this is what the students *have* to do to reach the "younger generation."

I agree with an earlier comment - this is NOT what they have to do to reach people in their teens and early 20s. All the videos do is show what a hot mess the "school" really is.

Anonymous said...

So would that make Jim "King Anus"?

Craig said...

The bakker backers have yet to address the subject of Kevin's House. And didn't the frualine bake some rolls from that freshly ground wheat for jim to enjoy the fragrance of in his office or condo or cabin?

Anonymous said...

When Tammy Sue was singing behind the door, Jim was sitting on the couch talking with Lori, seemingly looking relaxed and occupied. He didn't look at the door to see Tammy Sue until Lori began to stand up, then the phony theatrical facial antics started.

I feel that if Kevin was singing a solo (as we all thought), then if another voice suddenly started singing from behind a door, wouldn't Jim be instantly alerted to the new voice and look towards the door to see what was going on? Instead, he seemingly is still talking with Lori until she stands. This unnatural reaction makes me feel that the whole surprise was actually staged and phony. Phony? Jim Bakker show phony? What a crock of BS is thrown at the simpletons who buy into this land of make believe. I'll bet Jim knew Tammy Sue was there - it's all a set up for ratings, and of course, ratings means revenue, as more idiots are watching to potentially buy his overpriced and typed crap.

Anonymous said...

Hey there this is Pastor Jim Bakker. Some of my media students have spoken to me about this blog. I was told its a joke site about me, and I get the joke. There are many, many reasons for your group to point fingers at me. Believe me, I do understand that. My only problem is that you people are judging the old Jim Bakker, I am a completely different person now. If that's not enough proof for you, than just ask god... Go ahead, keep putting up photos of us online and bantering my students. You will accomplish nothing, the Christian community understands what I've had to endure, and we stand united. As for the love gifts my ministry offers, have you ever watched a television commercial. Do you not understand the very simple concept of raising funds, are you simple minded? I will pray for you, god bless.

Sincerely Pastor Jim Bakker

Anonymous said...

nice try...if you're Jim Bakker, then I'm Kevin Shorey

Anonymous said...

Are you really thee Kevin Shorey? If so, I really like your musical style. Sometimes you sing good, other times you don't put your soul in it. Is it possible that on those certain nights you feel guilty by association. Kevin, you do understand how talented you are?? I bet Comedy Central would give you your own show. I especially liked the week you sang kinda black gospel songs. Really good performances. Will you sing at my sons birthday party?

Anonymous said...

Another fake posting at 8:20pm

Zach, get a real job please or grow up--one of the two.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Anon"Frog Wannabe" @820pm

"Hey there this is Pastor Jim Bakker"
Hey there this is Kool-Aid Kid.

"Some of my media students have spoken to me about this blog."
It's a good thing they spoke to you because your fake students can't write worth a shit.

"I was told its a joke site about me, and I get the joke"
No, the joke is you and we point out your dishonest activies of the past and present. That's not a joke.

"There are many, many reasons for your group to point fingers at me. Believe me, I do understand that."
No you don't understand and that is why we will be here until you stop ripping people off.

"My only problem is that you people are judging the old Jim Bakker, I am a completely different person now."
You have more than one problem.

"If that's not enough proof for you, than just ask god..."
You mean "God" don't you not "god" right pastor?

"Go ahead, keep putting up photos of us online and bantering my students"
Okay, thanks.

"You will accomplish nothing"

"the Christian community understands what I've had to endure, and we stand united."
Another lie.

"As for the love gifts my ministry offers, have you ever watched a television commercial. Do you not understand the very simple concept of raising funds, are you simple minded? I will pray for you, god bless."
You meant "God" again, right you weasle?

Anonymous said...

Hey kak, give Jim a break, it was a nice letter. What is this, friggin English class. GET A LIFE!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous @ 7:41

Another classic example of the type of "christians" following Jim Bakker.

Get a life yourself and get off of the government payroll. If it wasn't for little old peoples pensions, welfare, social security, medicaid, food stamps and every other hand out from the government none of you scum would survive! By the way the government check comes from me and every other intelligent hardworking person in this country.
Low lives go to fake schools like Jim's and learn how to be freeloaders, tax cheats, and perverts. That is why no one wants to follow your god. I'd rather not have your ethics and morals! I want to be a decent, hardworking person, who accomplishes something while I am here. I'd rather be a giver than a taker! If your god is going to protect slugs who lie, cheat, and steal their way through life keep your religon and your god!

Anonymous said...

Jim is absolutely right. There's no problem running commercials. It's not unusual. I don't know what type of church you trolls attend, but maybe you're not familiar with the way the Lord works.

In fact, when I was in church last Sunday, my pastor brought a Slap Chop and some ShamWOWs to the pulpit. He told us that everyone who put $20 in the collection plate would receive a love gift of a ShamWOW and Slap Chop. I got pretty excited. With all the time we'll save dicing onions, we'll have more free time to devote to the Lord. And that ShamWOW is just the thing we need to clean up communion spills. Amen!

Just as the pianist was playing the last notes of the hymn, our pastor jumped to the altar and proclaimed that everyone who planted a $40 seed in the ministry would not only receive the Slap Chop and ShamWOW, but would also get an extra large bucket of Oxiclean and a membership card that entitled you to the front seat pew three Sundays per calendar year (excluding holidays).

Let me tell you, the crowd went wild! In fact, it was so exciting that the pastor never had a chance to finish his sermon! He spent the next 45 minutes demonstrating the speed in which he could make homemade salsa. It was delicious!

After my wife and I received our love gifts, the pastor told us he was using the donations received to pay off the construction company that he had hired to build a warehouse to hold the boxes of Slap Chops. He invited us to come back next week if we wanted to learn more! He handed us a bulletin for next week's sermon, and to our delight, it said the youth group girls would be modeling Pajama Jeans, and that they had a limited number available for a love gift of $50.00.

We can't wait to go back!

skyler said...

Solar Generator will be useless if this planet get blanketed by a shroud as the result of an impact event, say a giant asteroid hit. Sun won't shine for months. I noticed Zach did put on a lot of pounds, they talk health food then they stuff themselves with Dino Cakes and Gilberti's Pasta dishes, need to hit that trampoline guys.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

To Anon741am

Well, good morning to you too Zach.

Anonymous said...

anonymous @ 8:19

Your post is as good as Ron's! Thanks for the good laugh!

Amazing the Bakkerites don't realize how foolish Jim and his junk sales in the name of God are!

Anonymous said...

@8:03- What you do today won't amount to a hill of beans in 10 years. You want to make something that last, try saving souls like the Bakker show does!! That is an accomplishment, that has merit, that last. What do you do for a living? Forklift driver or warehouseman? Wow. Big contribution to the world, the world is surely a better place cause you stacked and shrinkwrapped a couple pallets of fertilizer today and went home and drank a 6 pack of Bud. Those guys are in the life saving business cause it saves a life when you salvage a lost soul. You want to do something that last? Get out your wallet, clean off the cobwebs and clear the dust and send a "seed" gift to the Ministrie. Then you can say "Today......I made a difference". Thank you.

Anonymous said...

to 8:19. Depends on your definition of "young". 18+ is not a bad age to model pajamas. I'd go. What are you gay or something? I bet if the models were young guys you'd go. Are you KAK?

Anonymous said...

Please, please, please direct me to the place where Jim "saves souls". You never, ever, ever hear about law and gospel! Never! Explain to me how he saves souls, when the only excerpts from the Bible are regarding Revelation? Tell me, how does he bring comfort in this life to someone who's been molested, suffers from addiction, feels lost, is lonely, is desperately sick or terminal? By watching Jim's show, how would one learn about the miracle of Easter morning or the weight of what Jesus carried to the cross? How would they know they are forgiven?

The fact that Jim "saved souls" through his show is probably the worst piece of garbage ever written in these comments. Jim sows fear and conjecture and rumors. He is right, the harvest is coming and the angels will be the reapers - but you give me ONE, just ONE example of what he's said and done on air that would save a soul from an eternity in hell - it sure ain't buying a generator!!

Anonymous said...

Young girls modeling pajamas, music to my ears! Where can I buy tickets, and how much are they??

Anonymous said...

If Bakker was trying to be honest, upfront, and transparent, he'd say something like: It costs $500 to manufacturer this generator. We're going to sell it for $700. The ministry is going to use the $200 profit off each one sold to save money for the construction of Lori's house. The shipping cost on this generator is $69.00.

Instead, they laugh and giggle about what a small margin they make, that they are out of money, that they can't stay on the air... why don't they just focus on one construction project at a time, at a rate they can afford? Right now they are building a studio, more condos, a warehouse, Lori's house, a shower house, and a campground. How about this - buy what you can pay for and finish what you start before beginning something new.

With all the food stealing, roving gangs likely to emerge when the world falls apart, they better buy some razor wire to surround that warehouse.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

to anon850am

... and I say to you,

"Today ... By way of your comments posted you are without a doubt a perfect example of a Bakker zombie follower."

Thank you.

ps When you talk of beans, do you mean the ones that grandma picked and snapped? (Sorry Brother D, but this zombie had it coming.)

Gunny said...

9:34: The perfect thing against "Roving Gangs", is an M60 machine gun. Get one of those and stick it on your roof, or the "mini gun" Jesse Ventura used in "Predator", those gangs would be instant souchi. I'd like to get one on those flame throwers Kurt Russel used in "The Thing" give those roving gangs a taste of what Hell is gonna feel like. How come Bakker never talks practical when the world comes to chaos, I'm gonna be "locked and loaded". Hurrrah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

About that post that claimed to be written by Jim Bakker.....

Jimbo, you must prove your identity. Two questions should do the trick:

1. How many mansions have you owned? Where have they been located?

2. How many vacations have you been on in the last year paid for by Social Security checks of elderly senile people?

3. How many trips to the nail, I mean pharmacy have you made with your wife this year?

If you answer these questions correctly, then I will know that are really THE Jim Bakker.

God loves you, He REALLY does!

Anonymous said...

Hmm, I think Jim really did post that comment. Hi Jim, I'm interested in joining your media school. I'm 29 yrs old, a minority, 50lbs overweight, bipolar, and currently unemployed. Please get back to me, you could contact me @

The Truth Hurts said...

Immediately after her song was sung by Tammy Sue, on the show when she returned, Jim said:

"A group of people planned my destruction"

Absolutely no where during this show did Jim ever admit, not even one time, that his lies, greed, thievery, moral indescretions, and fraud had anything to do with his destruction.

Nice going, Jim. It is always someone else's fault and never your own. That is why you are hated by so many. That is also why you will go straight to hell when judgement day comes and that day cannot come soon enough for me. I agree with Mr. Falwell, who took over PTL after you left it, when he said you are a:

"liar, an embezzler, a sexual deviant, and "the greatest scab and cancer on the face of Christianity in 2,000 years of church history"

Anonymous said...

I'm tired of hearing about Kevin's house, Kevin was lucky, he made out pretty damn good. Over 6 million people visit Branson very year, the guy who said everything JB touches turns to **** is mistaken. a very large percentage of that 6 mil. will be visiting Morningside which equal $$$$ big time.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Anon "Fat Zach" @1139am

Hmm, You are a complete zombie idiot Zach.

You call it said...

To @11:41 I say "Where is Falwell now?" That plunge he took when he took over Heritage USA reminded me of a slide into hell. Should have been.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Jim Bakker will squeal like a little pig when the devil comes to take him away!

Craig said...

11:39, 11:54, and 12:02,
You guys need to quit licking the frog to get high. It has already caused you permanent brain damage.

Anonymous said...

"...$$$$ big time."

If that isn't the truest zombie statement ever made. It all comes down to the love of money, which of course, is the root of all evil.

Anonymous said...

Haha, I knew Rons a bruiser. Lol, Jim would never sexually harass you.

Anonymous said...

I will not lower myself to the level of Kool-aid-kid and Craig and make personal attacks. I'm a little better in that regard then those two blokes and will abstain from "cheap shots" which these two specialize in. Please guys, lay off the name calling, it just reinforces the troll stereotype and hurts your cause. You can get your point across without wearing the troll caps. Thanks

Kool-Aid Kid said...

When the devil does come for Bakker he will also grab one of his cheap rebounders. He'll make the little bugger jump on it for eternity in hell. Jump froggy jump!!!!

Ron said...

You're right about all of it except the unemployed part. I'm over-employed at the moment.

Love that comment. I once considered doing a side-by-side comparison of Jim Bakker and Ron Popeil for a blog post, but right now it's back-burner stuff (as is my Jim-Lori-Kevin short story). If only I had the time.

I haven't seen Bakker's solar-powered generator yet, but it sounds pretty silly. First and foremost, how would it run at night? Does anyone know the specs on it? Unless the thing can power a small office building, $1700 is waaaay overpriced.

Here's an open question for the Bakker worshipers:

Can I buy some foodbuckets from Costco or Amazon, then trade them to Jim for the generator? Consider this my official 'calling him out' on his bartering talk. I'd like to trade him.

How about you? If you really want that generator, just divide up your buckets using Jim's single bucket price until you get to $1700. Then offer them for the generator. Master Bakker himself said you could barter with them, so try it out. See what he says.

Kool-Aid Kid said...


Hold on a minute you silly zombie. Are you from the Island bloke? Great. We have our first Brit moronside supporter. About time. Cheers mate.

Awaiting The Sex Scandal said...

The love of God and the communion of the Holy Spirit sure is alive and well at Morningside, isn't it? You can tell that by the comments left here from Bakker's own "students".

the good prophet said...

My goal is to prepare the good people for the unfortunate days to come. God has given me the vision to see that money is nothing but paper created by man (the same man that put me in jail). I have been called to relieve the good people of the paper and replace it with goods and wares to help them survive the horrible days to come, which I have already seen. I wouldn't dare take these goods and wares back in barter, then the good people wouldn't be prepared. I just need to take that filthy, sinful paper off the good peoples hands.

Anonymous said...

Hey kak, nice tooth, and stfu already. Pizzas don't make themselves, put down the smartphone and GET BACK TO WORK!!!!

Anonymous said...

Morningside Christian are what you would refer to as "Muscular Christians", Christian who believe in truth through argument. Some of them will not turn the other cheek, although it is not wrong to do so.

Anonymous said...

Kak, ill take a large pizza with extra bullshit(the stuff that comes out of your mouth).

Kool-Aid Kid said...

To Anon207pm

You now something Zach, as the day wears on here you are getting to be very mean. It takes a big man to tell me to stfu doesn't it Zach? You know something Zach, I don't think you're a big man. You're fat! Stop eating all the pizzas I make. LOL

Craig said...

@2:11. I am sure you'd eat it too. Lol. Frog licker.

Anonymous said...

To Anonymous @ 2:10

"Muscular Christians"? I'd like you to point out the teaching in the scriptures we are to be "Christians who believe in truth throug argument". Show me from the scriptures where Jesus argued his point of salvation through Him and Him alone!! Actually, show me where Jesus argued with anyone!!! Tell me again what Jesus said about turning the other cheek.

If Jim was true to his word of being a man of the cloth for 50 years we'd hear more about Jesus and less about Jim! Less about money and buying junk too!

If this was a true Christian ministry Jim would be teaching the day of the Lords return as a joyful event, not something to be dreading and preparing for with underground bunkers in a hideout in some hills.

Anonymous said...

I saw a food for health bucket on that doomsday preppers show.

Former Troll who was saved said...

"Sell all thoust have and give to the poor". Everything, every item, big and small that is shown on Jim's show and sold. The proceeds go to the poor and unfortunate. Lots of poor folk would starve, if not for that show. Accept that and remove the blinders from thy eyes.

Anonymous said...

Stfu fatass^^^^^

Grandma Maxine said...

What a coincidence that a few days after Jim prophesized that Tammy Sue would come out of hiding, she appeared on the JBS. Todays show made me laugh more than any other. Watching Jimbos phoney surprised expression along with the fake crying was priceless! Now penniless and husbandless Tammy Sue will have a place to stay for free and can make some money recording a new cd on Jimbo's Morningside record label. She looked awful and was correct in saying she needed to lose 50 pounds so she better stay away from Zach and Kevin and needs to join Jimbo on the plant based diet!

Craig said...

@3:07 former troll.
Tell us one charity that morningside contributes to, besides one that jim or one of his buddies created. Lol, lying jim didn't even follow through on sending dehydrated food to the Moldovan orphans that he promised. Your fakeness is appalling and every comment made by bakker backers is right here on the Foodbucket Fanpage for all to see. Keep on commenting.

Anonymous said...

Former Troll @ 3:07

A lot of people are going to starve because of "that show". Jim is taking everything from the old folks and when times get tougher Jim will be living in his lake home, cruising in his speed boat, laughing at all the suckers that set him up to live good again. Amazing the simpletons just can't get it. Real Christians see what the truth is. Fools choose to stay ignorant. Remove the blinders from your eyes fool and see Jim for what he is, a con man, and a narcissist, who could care less about anyone but himself!

Anonymous said...

to Grandma Maxine; Granny, in all honesty.....Are you any better looking?......Be honest now. Are you so much better looking then Tammy? Thank you.

Anonymous said...

No comment.....there lies my answer. Thank you

Anonymous said...

So 2:56,

Do you think preppers give the food buckets legitimacy? Jeez fool, go crank open your bible and start reading it....without Jim's spin on it!

Anonymous said...

to 4:07

I wonder how long it will take for the Morningside crew to brand Tamy a witch. After all she looks like one, long jet black hair and pasty white skin. Is she trying out for a part in Harry Potter?

Anonymous said...

Well time to place an order for takeout at Gilberti's. Was out on the boat today fishing. I'm beat, wonder if Kool aid Kid is still there, flipping pizza dough for his $3.50 an hour plus tips.

Anonymous said...

Grandma Maxine
I caught that show too, where the Frog foresaw Tammy Sue coming to Morningside and then 2 weeks later, there she is! It reminds me of his 9-11 prophesy and Japan earthquake (after the fact) and my favorite, earthquakes in LA!
It probably was his best show ever and thank God he didn't know before hand, so he could do a proper sales job on that generator contraption. Can't wait for you to tear into this one Ron!

Craig said...

Although I don't know what Kool Aid Kid does for a living, 4:48 describes the perfect job for a masters media grad. Enjoy your pizza zombie.

What Drama is Next? said...

Well let's see...

James was not allowed to date the woman of his choice

Charlet Wintercorn was run out of there on a rail

James' Dad was fired by Bakker

James' brother walked out of Morningside when his Dad got canned

Little Lori quit working for her parents as producer of the show

Little Lori lived with (first) and then married a guy both parents hated

Marie was shipped off to be raised by others

Lori is not allowed to say she is having a prescription refilled

Zach is not allowed to date a woman unless she meets the approval of Jim & Lori

Nate is fired - Trystan quits

Susan is branded a "witch"

The entire first year of Masters is having sex in the tabernacle

Little Ricky wants nothing to do with the ministry

Pastor Cedric Hayes' choir is stolen & put in Jim's name

and that is but a small sample of the drama of Morningside & Bakker


Tune in now folks!
More is on the way!!!

Anonymous said...

I remember the show where Lori announced that Maria wants Jim and Lori to pick her husband. I laughed so hard when Jim tried to look surprised and shocked that Maria was so wise in seeing the need for their wise choice of a husband for her. Everything about this phony show and ministry is staged. They are such bad actors, nothing redeems this god awful show!

Kool-Aid Kid said...


You think you're a tough guy don't you Zach? I may be small but I can defend myself here on the Bucket and in person from a slow moving fat man like you. Your problem is that you're stupid and it shows here and when you are on the moron show. I do not make 3.50 an hour or toss pizzas but at the end of the day i know I earned my money honestly. Not you!

Craig said...

@5:07. That was the worst acting ever. Both jim and lori gave big huge surprise faces complete with fake monkey face smiles and the zombies clapped. The bakker clan seem to think they are 19th century European monarchy. Although I'm not sure if jim is king, queen, or jack.

Anonymous said...

Fact, there is no plaque on the statue. Fact, Bakker is being investigated by three entities in Stone County Missouri.

Tanya said...

I really want to see the Return of Tammy Sue show.

Instead, I have had 3 days of promotion of the "fuel-less" generator.

I haven't watched every minute of each show, because it is repetitive and they are selling so hard that it hurts to watch... but I did notice there are an awful lot of tie-ins and cross-promoting happening.

Look at the generator powering a blender which is blending the wheat Jim sells - the wheat Jim gets from Food For Health, the same company that is behind the generator, the dehydrated food, and who knows what else, I can't keep track.

Look at the yellow card you get if you buy the generator that allows you "lifetime first priority camping" in their wilderness camping area - whatever "first priority" means, Jim didn't explain it. He's banking on people assuming they know what it means, but Jim didn't bother to review the fine print... and there will be fine print. Kind of like the limits Jim puts on the number of gifts you can get per visit with another of his cards. And "lifetime" benefits didn't do the PTL crowd much good back in the day, either.

And finally, when looking for someone to vouch for how smooth and wonderful the blended wheat was, Jim called out for Grandma Maxine. "Where's Grandma Maxine? Where are you, baby?"

That doesn't seem right, somehow.

Maybe the Tammy Sue episode will be the next one aired in my area.

P.S. @7:30pm - I was going to ask about the plaque earlier - you must be psychic! I'm willing to bet now that Jim has the statue he is not so keen on having a big plaque on the base of it... if he doesn't go ahead and put that plaque on, that is another promise broken.

Anonymous said...

FYI, "Tanya" is really Tammy Sue Bakker. Don't believe me, I heard it from a friend at morningside.

Anonymous said...

Has Jim been taking fake crying classes??? He was sobbing sooo much, with no redness of eyes ooor TEARS!!!!!!!! I know for a fact that Jim Bakker... JIM BAKKER CRIES CROCODILE TEARS!!!!!!! Tammy Sue Bakker is clearly down on her luck. She looks very trashy, and very untrustworthy/unstable. These folks are raking it in. You know how many stupidos fall for this shit in our country? I envy these false prophets, Benny Hinn in particular. They are so talented at preying on the stupid. Thanks Ron, good blog.

Tanya said...

@8:34pm - since you have a friend at Morningside who is passing you information, and you are interested enough to post on this blog, may I suggest you address the many questions and concerns that have been raised in these comments? I mean, you "outed" me, so you are clearly getting some good, accurate information!

I look forward to your insight into Morningside. Here's a few things you could talk about, just off the top of my head:

(a)The fake school and all related issues (quality of teaching, curriculum, quality of output [YouTube videos, the TV show], etc etc).

(b)The missing donor plaque on the Jesus statue.

(c)Jim Bakker using fear and repeated images from disaster movies and 9/11 to sell cheap survival products.

(d)Jim's mystery "doctorate" that he got while in prison.

(e)Which of the varied reasons Jim has given for being sent to prison is the real one.

(f)Jim saying they are out of money, can't run the school for much longer, they need money NOW, yet days later announcing the purchase of acres of more land (i.e., seems they had money after all).

There's more, of course, if others feel like it they can add to the list.

Just don't forget to identify yourself as 8:34pm so you get the credit for your information!

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 2815   Newer› Newest»