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Sunday, March 18, 2012

Jim Bakker scribbles on Zach, talks junk with Bill Whaley part 2

Morningside Nazi awaiting orders from her Fuehrer

Isn't Bill Whaley on the show today? Where in the hell is he? Oh there he is, he's seated on stage allowing his good name and reputation to be used by convicted con man Jim Bakker to sell buckets of wheat. He hasn't been allowed to speak yet because Bakker's still busy milking him.

We get a video interlude with three of the Master's Media dummies making bread, and they've cracked open a business-expensed wheat bucket to do it. Their teacher for today is a female inbred named Janet Krehbiel. One look in her eyes tells me that this woman is fanatical about Jim Bakker. There's a certain fire burning in her eyes, but it's not the kind of fire that burns reassuringly in a fireplace on a cold winter evening. It's the sort of fire that burned witches at the stake; the sort of fire that burned piles of books in Nazi Germany.

Now just bake your survival bread in an electric oven...
We watch the kids bake bread. I assume this is meant to show people how useful their wheat buckets will be during the End Times? I'm counting a lot of ingredients that Jim doesn't sell which are part of this recipe. Yeast. Oil. Brown Sugar. We also have measuring cups, pots, and pans. And now we have the all-important electric or gas oven. Fraulein Krehbiel tells us that before baking the bread, we want to place it in a warmed oven to give it time to rise.

Wait, I'm confused: Is this survival bread, or just Sunday morning rise-and-shine bread? And why would anyone need a 45 lb bucket of wheat, and possibly ten buckets worth if you're stupid enough, when it takes only a few cups to make a loaf of bread? When Jim's scary-but-non-existent roving gangs are coming to rob and kill you, is bread-baking going to be high on your priority list? How would you even bake it if there's no electricity? This is lunacy, as in you are definitely koo-koo in the head if you think this is a smart thing to buy. Think zombies, you can do it if you try!

Sasha coloring outside the lines
The bread has been baked and now it's time to eat it. Sasha is very proud of her work. Has she never seen bread made before? Sasha wouldn't stand a chance in a survival situation. If she found herself stranded and starving in the Andes with the Uruguayan Rugby Team, she'd be the first to be eaten. You need to wake up, Sasha. Your cute smile, bubbly personality and empty head makes you ripe for the picking by some sleazy guy who will use you for his own personal gain. Case in point: Jim Bakker.

A Morningside Cafe specialty: The Yak-wich
They're adding mayonnaise, mustard, tomato and avocado to the bread now. When Sasha squeezes the mustard on her bread, she colors outside the lines and the mustard falls off and onto the side of the bread. Ms Volz...what are we going to do with you? You're so cheery and bright, but god you're dumb as a rock. How about scissors, are you skilled with scissors? Can we trust you with those, or do we need to worry that you'll accidentally lop off a finger while cutting around your barnyard animal doodles?

Lettuce and a Kraft cheese slice goes on the bread and now we have a disgusting, slimy, meatless sandwich for consumption. Sasha takes a big bite of it and gives the thumbs-up. There's no way that Sasha ate that whole thing, no way. My dog wouldn't even eat that, and he eats other dog's poop. The kids pose with Fraulein Krehbiel as she congratulates them on baking their bread. Great job kids, now let's go burn some books in the town square! Schnell!

Shemp laughs about the bread party he wasn't invited to
We're out of the interlude and back to the live show, talking to Sasha and Ariel about their big bread baking field trip. Shemp sits between the two and laughs awkwardly, but he wasn't invited to their bread baking party so he doesn't have anything to say. If you're keeping the hair then you better get used to the whole 'not-being-invited' thing. Trust me dude, cut it. You'll thank me.

Jim adds in a little fear-mongering in his last push of the wheat buckets, telling us “there's going to be some problems before 40 years, maybe before 40 days, I don't know. Things are coming loose, the wheels are coming off the wagon.” Alright Jim, the clock's ticking on your 40 days. This episode was broadcast on 2/27/12, and was probably shown live a week prior to that. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt though and toss you a few more days, you slithering snake. The wheels need to 'come off the wagon' by April 15th, tax day, otherwise you're being exposed as a con man who stokes fear in the minds of na├»ve people as a way to take their money. Is that reasonable? They're your words Jim, not mine. You say 40 days, I say okay. Let's see.

Sasha gives her review of the Yak-wich: "Ptooey!"
Arghh! Jim, are we getting to Bill Whaley or are we going to sit here all day talking about space food? Now we're on his $100 Mega Sampler bucket, and I just sat my ass through a full 60 seconds of Zach listing the contents of every packet in the bucket. What is this garbage, where's the gospel?

They continue on with the Mega Sampler bucket, and we're treated to a long shot of Zach that shows off his man boobs. Someone once mentioned that Zach was some sort of football star back home, but I'm not buying it. The guy looks about as athletic as an arthritic turtle. I don't deny that he may have played football, but playing a game is not the same as playing it well:

Zach's tits have now outgrown his training bra
After school, the kids line up against a wall to pick teams for intramural football. Only one kid remains, and neither team wants him. That kid is Zach Drew.

[Team A Captain] “Do we have to take him? Can we just play a man short?”
[Team B Captain] “He wants to play, and coach said we have to let everyone play if they want to.”
[Team A Captain] “Yeah but the last time we had him, he ran the wrong way with the ball. He scored against us!”
[Team B Captain] [laughing]“Heh, and he's gonna do it again today. That's our star player! Hurry up and pick him so we can get started.”
[Team A Captain] [groans and motions to Zach] “Alright, we'll take Pud. But dude, don't touch the ball this time. Just stand your fat ass out there and block.”

Morningside Lovebirds: 'Yep, thirty...long...years...'
We're finally out of Bakker's sales presentation and over to Kevin Shorey who's announcing the zombie anniversaries and birthdays. First up is a zombie couple that's been married for 30 years, and the marriage must be a grind because they're sitting about five feet apart at their table. These two love birds are seated so far apart, in fact, they may as well be sitting at different tables. That could change though, because they've just been given a coupon for Gilberti's to chow down on some anniversary pizza and reignite the flame of romance. Unfortunately, judging by the look of the place I don't know if that's gonna happen.

I always thought Gilbertis would be a little...classier?
This is the first time I've ever seen a picture of Gilberti's and it looks like it's going to be real cramped quarters inside this shack. I wouldn't rule out the possibility of a fist fight breaking out between the two as they react to the strain of being inside Mr Gilberti's Chicago-Style pressure cooker. I wonder what the fire marshal determined the maximum occupancy to be on a place like this, maybe 17 or so? It looks more Gas N' Go than Eating Establishment, and I must say: After all these years of hearing about Gilberti's, I really imagined something better than this. Enjoy your pizza you little lovebirds, and don't be surprised when you order Canadian Bacon and they don't have it.

Whenever Jim Bakker cultists laugh, I cringe
A birthday is up next. 'Miss Marilyn' the inbred is turning 60 today. Her hair is pulled off and braided down two sides like Sacagawea, making her look an awful lot like a burned-out hippie. I can imagine her escaping Jonestown just before Pastor Jones started serving up the purple Kool-Aid, but instead of swearing off charismatic religious leaders entirely, she ran right into Jim Bakker's loving arms at Heritage. I don't know what it is with these people, why must they always be looking for someone to follow? Are they incapable of leading themselves?

'Miss Marilyn' is being given a Lori Locket for her birthday, but when the gift is announced she pulls on her neck to reveal that she's already wearing one. Kevin corrects himself and says that she's being given a 'Lori Locket II”, so now she has another piece of junk jewelry to show off to her birds at home.

This zombie already had a Lori she has two!
'Miss Marilyn' says that she's been eating for the last thirty years just as Jim is instructing now, "grinding mountain wheat and all that". She says that she and her husband also dumpster dive. Is there something going on in the world that I don't know about? What's up with all these people jumping head-first into garbage cans? Is this the new 'planking'?

Marilyn tells us that she's found things while dumpster diving that are 'unbelievable'. Maybe she found love in a dumpster? Perhaps the two of them jumped into Mr Gilberti's dumpster, found a day-old plate of spaghetti, then slowly ate from opposite ends of a noodle to ultimately find each other's lips?

Looks like someone has a man-crush on Jim Bakker...
Miss Marilyn's husband / brother is really starting to creep me out now. I think he's cockeyed, or else his glasses magnify his eyes to a level unfit for public consumption. As his wife continues talking, this guy gets a stare on his face that is truly terrifying. I'd say it's love for Jim Bakker that we're seeing, but if that's love, I sure as hell don't want to see hate. This guy is one of the scariest inbreds I've seen in a long time, and for the love of God I hope he never gets introduced to Joey from the band. Imagine those two driving around in Joey's windowless van at night?

Shorey passionately sings Karaoke from his chair
Nope, still no Bill Whaley. Now Kevin's giving us a taste of his singing chops with a song called You Can Begin Again, and he's doing it from a seated position. Where else on earth does a singer who wants to be taken seriously perform his song from a chair? Chair-singing is for karaoke, Kevin. Are you going to pass the mic to Jim and Lori next for their duet of Islands in the Stream?

While Kevin sings from the chair, he crosses his legs at the hocks to keep himself from spinning or rocking in his big swivel chair. Kevin's pants are bunched up around his thighs and one pant leg is hiked up far enough to expose his leg above the sock.

Kevin locked his hocks and hiked his pants for Karaoke
How are we supposed to take you serious, Kevin, if you aren't taking yourself seriously? If you present yourself as a slob, people will treat you as one. Go get yourself on a diet and exercise program and get the hell off Jim's show. You're wasting your life with Jim Bakker, and worse, you're slowly being corrupted by him. You can begin again, Kevin. Listen to your song! Enough with this Bakker fella, he's no good.

Finally it looks like it's time for Bill Whaley. Are we sure now, Jim? Is there anything else you'd like to sell before we get started?

Bakker digs a dollar out of his pants for Bill Whaley
Whaley begins talking for the first time. He seems like a pleasant enough guy, a little on the boring side but he appears to mean well. He tells us about his life as a helicopter pilot in the military. He goes off on a tangent about the government taking from us without giving, but it's nothing conspiratorial so that's a plus. He gives an illustration of this by asking Jim for a dollar, then taking it and not giving it back. This was pre-scripted and sort of dumb, but I liked that Bill called Jim 'Mr Bakker' when he asked for the dollar. Even though this conversation is very boring, I get the sense that the Junk Man ain't takin' no guff from 'Mr Bakker'. Keep it up Bill and you'll escape with your integrity intact!

FBI agent Bill Whaley pockets Bakker's bribe money
About that dollar. Whaley is still holding on to it, folded and cupped in his hand. I know the dollar hand-over was scripted, but at some point the scripted part would end and Whaley would return the dollar to Jim. It hasn't happened yet and it's making Bakker real anxious. Like a dog eying a biscuit treat, Jim is fixating on the dollar. I wonder if Jim can actually smell money like a drug hound?
Lori takes Jim for a security walk through Morningside, after-hours. Jim suddenly perks up:
[Jim Bakker] “Hold on Lori. Wait!”
[Lori Bakker] “What is it old man!? Is someone in here?”
[Jim Bakker] “No, I smell something.”
Bill Whaley still hasn't returned Jim's dollar
Jim twitches his nose, sniffing at the air. He points his wet snout towards the statue.”
[Lori Bakker] “Is it the statue? You know I had to yell at some little shits yesterday to get off of it, they were trying to climb it.”
Jim bolts towards the statue, excitedly sniffing the ground around it. Underneath a prayer bench, he finds a wallet.
[Jim Bakker] “This is it, this is what I smelled. Money.”
Lori picks up the wallet and opens it. Inside she finds three crumpled dollar bills, a Builder's Club card, and a Medicare card.
[Lori Bakker] [unwrinkling the bills] “Wow someone's poor!” [snorting laughter]
Jim suddenly leaps towards the bills, jaws open. He clamps down hard on the money as Lori tries to fend him off.
[Lori Bakker] “Jim, no! You'll rip them!”
Bill Whaley points at Jim Bakker
Bill Whaley appears to have completely taken over the show, and now he's asking rhetorical questions. Bakker ain't going for this shit. Whaley points at Jim and begins a question with, “Let me ask you this Mr Bakker...” Jim scratches his face as Whaley asks the question of him, a sure sign of being pissed off by his guest. Whaley reminds me of a hack salesman that works off a memorized script, like a guy trying to sell me stain protection on my carpet. He's probably working to a big finale to dazzle us, perhaps pouring wine on the carpet then cleaning it off, but he's doing a lot of ponderous prep work here and I don't think the payoff is going to be worth the time. The only reason I haven't hit fast-forward yet is because he's making Jim sweat.

A seething Jim Bakker fake smiles for the Junk Man
Bill asks Jim what the difference between alternative and renewable energy is. Jim paints a fake smile on his face and replies that he 'isn't sure of the difference, but he can guess'. Bakker looks like he's positively seething inside, like he wants to snap his fingers in front of Whaley's face and tell him to hurry up and get to the point because time is money. Whaley now poses the question to the audience. There's nobody left in the audience. We glimpse the front row and all we see are two empty chairs and three zombies, one of which is Whaley's wife. The Junk Man is driving 'em away, and fast. Bakker's gonna have to step in at some point here to save the day's sales.

"It's just natural gas, so what!?"
The Junk Man says that he owns two homes, one of which is in Missouri and is 'totally off the grid.' He says that nobody knows where his Missouri home is. He probably had neighbors once, then drove them all away with his long-winded monologues on junk and junk accessories. The Junk Man says he takes the fart gas off his septic tank and uses it to cook and heat his house with. I notice that his body language becomes defensive when mentioning that little detail about his septic tank, as if someone has given him crap about it before. If I asked him if his house smells like poop when he heats it, he would probably get real touchy about it and quickly come over the top of me to tell me that it's just natural gas. Right Bill, but what does it smell like?
[Ron] “I understand that it's just natural gas Bill, but...
[Bill Whaley] [interrupting] “That's right! It's just natural gas!'”
[Ron] “Okay, well let me ask you like this. Does it smell good, or does it smell bad?”
[Bill Whaley] [raises voice] “It doesn't smell anything! It's just natural gas, what's the big deal!”
Shorey: "God is this Whaley guy boring or what?"
The Junk Man tells us that he's a 'non-conformist' and that he has two sets of rules he believes in: the bible and the Constitution. This receives a round of applause from everyone on stage, plus someone in the audience that I can hear clapping very, very fast. I'm not sure if people are clapping for his comment, or because it's their chance to cut him off.

Jim asks him how he got the name 'The Junk Man'. Before answering, Whaley finally gives Jim his dollar back. Jim fake laughs, then hands the dollar to Lori and tells her, “Oh that's nice. Here honey. You need a dollar.” That's actually a pretty smooth move on Jim's part. Never let them see you handling money, Jim. That'll make it harder to bring a case against you.
Whaley's audience: Three zombies and two empty chairs
I'm this close to hitting fast-forward on Whaley, he's boring me to tears. At least I can play a little game in my head as he drones on. I'm trying to figure out what items on his person were scavenged from a garbage can, and which are new.

I don't think the suit jacket came from the garbage. The purple dress shirt, that's new too. The tie most likely came from a wedding reception's trash bin and probably had the Best Man's vomit on it. The accessories, now those were all scavenged from a stink can. The frame for his glasses would have come from the trash, maybe the lenses too. He has a tight bracelet on one wrist that looks like it's cutting off his circulation. That was definitely taken out of the garbage. On his other hand, he's wearing an onyx ring. That ring, plus the watch he's wearing, were probably hurled into an Indian Casino dumpster by a furious, red-faced drunk who just lost his house on a Super Bowl bet. We can't see the wallet that Whaley's sitting on, but that came from the drunk too. It contained no money, only a bunch of expired, losing lottery tickets. Now it belongs to the Junk Man.

"Gud vork mein students! Now ve vill burn BOOKS!"
Jim plays his trump card. If he can't stop the Junk Man real-time, he'll fix him in editing. Whaley tells a story about a crazy lady who invited him to lunch to pick his brain. The story ends abruptly with faked, archived applause from the audience, then moves right into a Jim Bakker commercial. I don't think I've ever been so happy to see a commercial from Jim. It's a Silver Sol commercial, with a very happy sounding Kevin Shorey doing the voice over.

Click here to read the finale of Jim Bakker scribbles on Zach, talks junk with Bill Whaley.


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Tanya said...

Ah, the Junkman. He really didn't behave for Jim, did he? The dynamic between Bakker and the Junkman was the only thing that kept me from fast-forwarding - each one got so frustrated at times, it was funny.

Thanks Ron! Thoroughly enjoyed the read.

Craig said...

It's too bad jim didn't give the junkman his due. The zombies could use his tips after morningside drives them to bankruptcy.

Shimmy for me, Sasha said...

Sitting while singing? Kevin must fancy himself the male version of Adele.

Brother Dortch said...

Ron, great work as always!

FYI: Janet Krehbiel, the bread baking instructor, is the mother of Little Lori's brand new husband, Jasper. Janet's husband and Jasper's Dad, is a cameraman on Bakker's show.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely. Hilarious.

Buddy's Buddy said...

Ron, you did it again. Tears running down my cheeks from laughing! Thank you!!!

Cindy B. said...

3 people in the audience for the junkman? Doesn't Jim take up an offering every day from his audience? I'll bet the day's receipts were not very good.

Anonymous said...

Really funny, great job again Ron.

What does digging through trash have to do with Jesus? Everything about JB Ministries is weird.

Tanya said...

@11:26pm - I believe Jim Bakker's spin on the Junkman was that the Junkman can teach you how to survive in a disaster, or during the End of Days. It all fit into his selling scheme - talk about disasters, predict disasters, show actual disasters (in disgustingly poor taste), show clips from disaster movies, then sell survival food/products.

Speaking of disasters, and considering what Jim Bakker has been saying (buy his products so you can be prepared, and help your neighbors), I'm curious as to why the first video the students put on their YouTube channel regarding the Branson tornado only shows a lot of wreckage and an interview with a victim of the tornado.

If there's footage of the students/staff, or Jim himself, working in the community (really working, not photo-op, staged stuff), sharing their dehydrated food, filtered water, etc, that seems like a more worthwhile YouTube video. And really, I'd think that would be the first video they'd want to work on.

Brother Dortch said...

Re: Ordination Credentials of Jim Bakker

I would like to update an earlier post the Morningside employee posted concerning the ordination credentials of Jim Bakker. It turns out the supplied information concerning the people who ordained Bakker was only half correct. The fact that even Bakker’s own employees are unaware of the actual organization that has ordained him does not surprise me one bit. In fact, I expected as much, since this information has, never once to my knowledge, ever been discussed by Bakker on television. I'm sure it never will either.

After the Assemblies Of God leaders threw Bakker out of the church…and Bakker refused to go through the repentance program steps put forth before him…Yes, the Tulsa, OK area church who ordained Bakker, The Faith Christian Fellowship International, did indeed ordain him but that ordination very quickly ended after Bakker did not follow rules set forth by the church. The ordination only lasted a very short time.

New Covenant Christian Church in Cranesville, PA. a church begun by another friend of Bakker’s, Bishop Frank Joseph Daire (now deceased, but his son may be running it), then ordained Bakker and, according to The Orlando Sentinel, details of this new church are “sketchy”. In an article written by Adelle M. Banks, on April 8, 1989, (“Bakker’s on 3rd Sets of Credentials”) the newspaper had this to say about this church located in a small town of 600 people:

“Details about the Pennsylvania church are sketchy. Frank Daire, executive officer of the church, would not confirm or deny if his organization had ordained Bakker. Ministers in the Cranesville area in northwest Pennsylvania said they had not heard of the New Covenant Christian Church.”

Why is it that now, in attempting to verify the ordination credentials of Jim Bakker, we once again find ourselves in the middle of a very tiny town with information that is “sketchy?” Could this be an accident? While alive, Bishop Frank Joseph Daire said this about Bakker:

“Daire said he didn’t believe the reports of financial and sexual misconduct. ‘I believe he’s a much more morally qualified man than that,’ Daire said, ‘I don’t believe he had those tendencies.’ (The Rock Hill Herald (South Carolina) 4-17-89). The article also stated:

“Daire refused to say how his church planned to help Bakker with his broadcast ministry, but said The New Covenant Christian Church was not now giving financial support to Bakker’s ministry.”

As a lot of you already know, one of Bakker’s two corporations is entitled “New Covenant Fellowship” along with “Morningside Church, Inc.” When Bakker came to Blue Eye, the population was listed as 150, and now we see possible credentials being issued in this pee wee town of 600--assuming this organization that nobody knows and Bakker does not want to talk about still ordains him.

Boy oh boy, Bakker reeled in this floundering fish (Bishop Frank Joseph Daire) by the b***s, didn’t he? The man just did not seem to allow his mind to entertain the thought that Bakker, who will go down in the history of Christianity as being one of the biggest con artists the religion has ever known, was capable of monetary or sexual sins! Enough said!

Anonymous said...

While baking the bread, a tiny bit of the freshly ground stuff was tossed in the bowl, and then the rest was measured out of a pre-ground container. Just how long would you be huffing and puffing over this grinder before you have the 8 cups needed for the recipe? And if a fault line cracked open, or a meteor hit, or a flood came, or a TORNADO whipped through - how much time would you be sitting there grinding before a roving gang knocked you over the head and stole everything you had?

Casting call said...

If a movie was made about Bakker I think the following should be the cast:
Macaulay Culken as Pastor Jim Bakker
Joan Rivers as Lori Bakker
Madonna as Tammy Faye Baker
Louie Anderson as Zack Drew
Jimmie "JJ" Walker as Nolan
Betty White as Grandma Char

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Ron, you really captured the insanity of the moronside cult in that post. LOL! Awesome job!

Anonymous said...

Good work Brother Dortch! Thanks for answering the question of who ordained Jim Bakker. I wanted to call the Faith Christian Fellowship International and take them to task. I did my research also and they seemed legitimate. No decent christian organization has anything to do with this man. So sad that so many of those old folks have been bit by this snake and are keeping him in business.

Tanya, I am the one who keeps asking where was the ministry to the tornado victims of Branson. I think we have our answer, they did nothing. Sharing those buckets and helping your neighbor is a ministry only worthy of those who have bought those buckets from Jim!

Anonymous said...

I think you're onto something about Mr. Gilberti's Pizza joint. Here's a review from the "urbanspoon".

The worst pizza I've ever had!!!
#2 in Branson on Best of FINE Dining List? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! Mr. Gilberti's definition of Deep Dish Chicago Style Pizza....."cheese on the bottom" the waitress said. This deep dish was as thin as a cheap frozen pizza. I was expecting a true Uno's type Chicago style was actually more like a Domino's pizza....minus the flavor. The sauce was horrible. They recommended we make reservations....please!!! When we showed up....we said "we have a reservation"......and they waitress pointed to the only table with a reservation. lol The place was empty on a Friday night. They must be paying people to write reviews for them. DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME OR MONEY AT THIS PLACE.

Anonymous said...

I am certainly no Bakker defender. But I think the ordination question is not really a significant issue.

Most non-denominational charismatic preachers have been ordained by other non-denominational charismatic preachers. The criteria is often no more than the mutual agreement that a person has been "called" to be a pastor.

This is not like denominational churches (Methodist, Presbyterian, etc.) where ministers must get seminary training and then go through a lengthy process of being prepared to be formally ordained by denomination leadership.

No Nonsense Norski said...

Sooooo funny! Great post, Ron! Wish you could churn these babies out weekly. This stuff is just too rich!

Speaking of Roving Gangs, Mondo should be doing some "Street Reporting" from the Branson area regarding the "Great Potato Rustling Caper"!

The neighborhoods need forewarning on who's gonna git hit next! Gotta git those guns loaded and ready for the food raid! Man the plastic bucket barricade!

Grab a camera, a bullhorn and git goin', Mondo!

John Belushi --where are you when we need you? He could do a great variation of Animal House with all this fresh BS material!

Anonymous said...

If you read the comments section on Jim and Lori's blog on their show page, all the posters are in hysterics and sharing all the revelations God is giving them. They are having dreams and visions, and all the while God is speaking to them. Someone posted that God keeps evil at bay between the hours of 3:00am and 5:00am, and one astute poster replied, 'but isn't it 3:00 to 5:00 SOMEWHERE all the time??"

I'd say the comments are funny, but they are too crazy to laugh at. Downright scary. I'm starting to understand why people are relating Morningside to a cult.

Maybe take a look - zombies think it's great to come over here and trash this place up. I bet the first negative response to Jim or Lori's blog on *their* website is going to get moderated off the page.

Grandma Char Groupie said...

I think the point Brother D is making is that before you give a man tax-free status and allow him to put "Rev" in front of his name, you should do much better than having another hillbilly say you are ordained. ALL ministers should be required to go to a seminary and pass very strict ordination procedures so that we can eventually rid the Christian faith of charlatans exactly like Bakker. The hillbilly ordinations are nothing but a joke.

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you GCG...and a very big joke at that!

Anonymous said...

PBS is fundraising in our area. For a gift of $185 you become a "member" and you get a CD and DVD set of Phantom of the Opera. Obviously, the gift you get isn't equal to the donation you make. I think the same principle is in practice with Bakker's love gifts.

The problem is what he's doing with the donation portion of the gift. The $$ above and beyond the cost of the gift. Swimming pool, luxury boat, vacations, property... why aren't more of his flock concerned with where the money goes?? Everything should be transparent in the church. If I donated to PBS, I could request information on how and where the money is spent. Why is that not available from Morningside ministries? Unless there is a plaque on the boat that reads, "This vessel was made possible by viewers like you, thank you!"

No Nonsense Norski said...

Thanks for the suggestion, 9:14 --

WOW! Just WOW.

I just checked out the JBS Show Page blog. It's funny and oh-so-sad.

In this electronic world we live in, people have become more and more solitary - losing touch with their real-life neighbors and connecting with the electronic "voices" on the tube & in their computer instead, which reinforces the voices in their head.

So many unstable mentalities roaming the airwaves, looking for comfort and connection.

The JBS provides fertile ground for paranoids to lock into completely which becomes their reality.

Fear can be contagious, and JB is an expert at exploiting fear tactics effectively.

Just check out the comments on his blog yourself and see what you think. Sad.

Kool-Aid Kid said...


You ask "why aren't more of his flock concerned with where the money goes??"

You ask a very good question and the answer is in the face of Miss Marilyn in Ron's above post. Enough said.

Anonymous said...

"ALL ministers should be required to go to a seminary and pass very strict ordination procedures so that we can eventually rid the Christian faith of charlatans exactly like Bakker."

I'm wondering WHO will require them to pass "very strict ordination procedures" - The Federal Bureau of Religious Inspections?

Although Bakker distorts the premise, religion is not supposed to be business. It's supposed to be in the realm of the spiritual.

What kind of "strict ordination procedures" would be required of Native American spiritual leaders?

Freedom of religion means exactly that, even if it translates into people like Jim Bakker abusing the privilege.

We can't be selective about fundamental freedoms. Even if Bakker didn't claim to be a pastor, he would still (sadly) have his naive army of followers.

Anonymous said...

These bozos on this site make fun of the looks of the Morningside crew, well this from people in the know about who these trolls resemble; Tanya is the spitting image of Rosie O'Donnell (with bi-focals) it's been said. Brother Dortch looks like a shorter, fatter, younger, not as cerebral Woody Allen. Kool aid Kid, the stereotypical "couch potato" has all the makings of slightly fatter Cameron Tucker. Craig reminds one of legendary funny man "Chris Farley", minus the hair, RIP. Grandma Char Groupie, who else but the great black "Moms Mabley".

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Anon "Bozo" @ 1121am

Long time no see. You like using the word bozo don't you? It's been some time, where have you been? I'm going to call you Bozo okay?

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Hey Bozo,

How come Craig gets Chris Farley??? He was my fav actor. Can I be the splitting image of him. He was the best SNL actor ever.

Craig said...

And I live in a van down by the river

Tabitha T. said...

Oh No!!!! Not Chris Farley!!!

Anonymous said...

No way KId!!! You look like Cameron Tucker, accept it!! Not the better looking Chris Farley, Sorry!!

Grandma Char Groupie said...

How much would any of you like to bet that if we could convince the government to absolutely require all ministers to go through strict ordination procedures, except genuine Native Americans, who would be grandfathered in, the next thing you'd see is...

Jim Bakker in a brown suede suit with fringe all over it and wearing a head dress and moccasins dancing around a camp fire.

I know that's right!

Anonymous said...

Ya, but moccasins with lifts on the little fellow.

Grandma Char Groupie said...

and Lori would absolutely love hittin' that peace pipe!

Anonymous said...

with hash like you smoke!

Dream on. said...

Strict requirements would not change a thing. You would have a more educated, diciplined bunch of crooks. Same thing was proposed years ago for politicians. If you come up for a way to change human nature, that might work, till then. Business as usual.

Anonymous said...

To 11:21,

Do you think you are a christian? You a neither a christian or a mature person! Are you one of those Masters Commission kids? Is Jim not teaching you how to behave like a christian. That is a rhetorical question. I know the answer, it's in your name calling. You bring shame to Christ and Christians!

Buddy's Buddy said...

GrandmaCG, that's hilarious!

Anon@ 11:09 mentions freedom of religion. Freedom FROM religion, in my book, trumps freedom OF religion, and there are many laws on the books to prove that it should take precedence.

Members of LDS are not allowed to practice polygamy because it is against the law.

You couldn't commit incest if your religion allows it, just because it is part of your religious beliefs.

Just because your mythical religion says you should do something a certain way, does not mean it can or should affect me.

NNNorski, I'm more scared at these people commenting on Jim BS's blog, than saddened or amused. But I agree with you that they are in their own little worlds. The Jim BS is fertile ground for paranoids. No wonder Jimbo keeps talking on his show about how everyone wants to see and talk to him, but he doesn't have time to communicate in person with them. Even someone as batshit crazy as Jim doesn't want these zombies around him.

Awaiting The Sex Scandal said...


I have seen some of that hillbilly nutjob bunch in person and believe me it is not a pleasant site. The next thing they will probably be doing is ordaining the junkman! I'm sure he has already met all of the necessary qualifications.

Anonymous said...

Hey Buddy, If your so scared of those posts why do you punish yourself by going there? What are you, some kinda nut? Get under your bed and hide then. And what was so hilarious about what senile Grandma Char said? How was that funny? Cornball!!!!

Anonymous said...

Zach Drew gets lonely this time of day. He wishes it could be later at night when him and Jim get the bath house all to themselves!

Grandma Char Groupie said...

I don't want any more crap being mentioned about Grandma Char.

I think she's as cute as a button!

Anonymous said...

I work at the Tanger Outlets in Branson. Their people are here at least a couple times a week buying designer clothing. This place isn't cheap, and they spend s lot.

Anonymous said...

@2:47, You understand that they are on International and National TV. They have to look their best and present an image, of course they are going to wear decent clothes.

Buddy's Buddy said...

Anonymous @ 1:23pm. I go there to be informed. Duh!

Expand your media choices and don't believe everything you hear. You'll be a better person for it, Zombie.

Grandma Char Groupie said, "Jim Bakker in a brown suede suit with fringe all over it and wearing a head dress and moccasins dancing around a camp fire."

Now THAT's funny!

Anonymous said...

Ha 2:56

Jim is on christian cable tv stations. Because of people like Jim these channels are getting less and less popular. Think of all the people that tune into Jims show just for the laughs. No one takes bimbo Lori and snake Jim seriously. Except for the idiots who don't even pay for their cable tv. It's hardworking, taxpaying citizens, who pay the bills for the lazy bums sitting around all day long watching idiotic shows like Jim's. Jim's shows and all the QVC shows should be banned. I am sure if a survey was taken you find diabetic, overweight people, and mentally ill, living off of social security, medicaid, etc. buying all the crap sold on these shows.

Jim and Lori are nothings! It makes me want to puke seeing them dress to the nine's with my government funded dollars!

Anonymous said...

What a bunch of baloney about "looking your best on television". You zombies will justify anything and everything for the Bakker's!! No wonder he gets away with so much - you all are bobbling your heads and clapping them along!!

Anonymous said...

I think some of his clothes are furnished by the manufacturers. A sort of "product placement" or advertising, especially the shirts and sport jackets. Sometimes I see he wears tailored suits sometimes off the rack. Kevin wears quality as does Zach. But of course all kids are like that. People on TV and Movies are different then you and me and are more particular about looks, that sells.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Jim Baker wears three styles of clothing, suits that are poor fitting, low cost teenage junk, and strange "one of the kind crap" like the corset jacket.
Kevin Shorey dresses from the big men section of Walmart I'm guessing. Zach needs to have Kevin take him shopping so he can get bigger shirts to hide his man boobs.

Tanya said...

@8:44am - yes, it sure looks like they filmed the disaster, and took no action. Which, if true, is in direct opposition to what Jim has been preaching.

Bus driver said...

They started out with plenty of buckets when they went to the tornado disasters. It's just Kevin and Zack ate it all up before they got there.

Anonymous said...

Loris not a bimbo, and she never had plastic surgery. We love our moma Lori. She's educated and beautiful. She also has a four year degree under her belt, smart and pretty.You should see how guys at morningside drool over her! Get your facts straight sinners.

Anonymous said...


Where did Lori receive her four year degree?

Craig said...

I remember reading somewhere, maybe in the comments of one of Ron's earlier blogs, that when area churches were volunteering help after the Joplin tornado, morningside was contacted and they replied that they were a preaching ministry only. Jerks.

Craig said...

@4:49. All the people drool at morningside.

Anonymous said...

I'm no Bakker supporter but in all fairness, Lori's no dummy. She's a very well read and informative speaker. And I might mentioned, a highly successful author, it does not surprise me in the least that she has a undergraduate dgree, why does that surprise anyone? I mean a four year degree is what a High School Diploma was years ago. What's the big deal???

Anonymous said...

Ok, trolls. Stay under the bridge, will you? You're far too ugly to impersonate a zombie.

Tanya said...

Craig - going out to film, and not help, after all the times Jim Bakker has said people need to take action instead of just wishing others well... hypocritical. In shows within the last one month, Jim said things along the lines of "don't just say 'be warm' - give them clothes." So instead of practicing what he preaches, Jim chooses to send the students out for a hard day of filming the tornado wreckage, but doesn't take any action to help their own neighbors?

Students - if we are wrong, and you did help/are helping, maybe let us know. Because the silence makes it look like Morningside did nothing.

4:39pm is a strange comment - the "sinners" should get their facts straight, and see "how the guys at Morningside drool over her [Lori]!"

Is the 4:39pm comment for real?

Students "drooling" over "moma Lori" sounds icky.

Bev. said...

Kool aid Kid is #1.

Anonymous said...

You people watch/criticize us for a few reasons..
-lust(moma Lori, sash, Ariel, harmony, etc.)
-you are against god, and it angers you to see people that believe in something
-it angers you that many people love, support, and believe in PASTOR JIM BAKKER, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
-last but not least, the great KEVIN SHOREY!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Doesn't surprise me that they drool over momma Lori. They are a queer bunch out there. Their sex talk is pretty crazy for christians. They seem like and obsessed bunch of sex addicts. I know mommma Lori, she is a bimbo. You don't have to take my word on that, just watch the show to see for yourselves!

Anonymous said...

I just thought it would be interesting if the person who mentioned Lori has a four year degree would tell us where it came from. In Lori's own bio on the show page, it doesn't mention that she earned a degree, although she has "ministerial credentials" which is more than Jim can say.

As for her public speaking abilities, it's hard to say by her presence on the show. Jim never lets her get more than a sentence out. Other than that, she gives us a lot of laughing and eye rolling.

Anonymous said...

LOL @ 5:43,

You people give stupid a whole new definition. Stupid just isn't sufficient and strong enough word for you Bakker bunch.

Tune into the Jim Bakker show or visit morningside to see the epitome of pride, arrogance, lust, jealousy, and stupidity.

I am for God and that is why I am so angry. Jim is a cancer on christianity!


That is just calling you what God calls you: Jeremiah 4:22 "They know Me not; they are stupid children and have no understanding. They are shrewd to do evil, but to do good they do not know."

Anonymous said...

Great picture of Jim in the now hat. His face is as red as the hat and his shirt. What's up with that? Maybe he was boiling hot because the junk man was rambling on and on.

To whoever said Lori hasn't had plastic surgery, you need glasses. Those are some pretty scary eyes. Hope she didn't pay for procedure!

Brother Dortch said...

Once again, pure B.S. is drooling out of the mouth of the Bakker supporters as they say (actually, they want to believe that) Lori has a four-year undergrad degree.

Would you like to know where Mama Lori received her education? It was in Masters Commission!

Regarding plastic surgery: She has had a boob job, exactly like Tammy Faye, and there appears to be more botox in her's and Jim's face than there is pure lies on this blog! Jim, as well, has also had plastic surgery.

Now can we move on to the truth please?

Brother Dortch said...


It's Jim in a speedo!

Anonymous said...

To 4:39

Do You want to retract your remarks? All the guys a Morningside drool over Lori Bakker. This is both creepy and sick. I do believe it though.

Matthew 5:28 I tell you anyone that looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Your telling others they are sinners and need to get their facts straight. I think you better get out your bible and get your facts straight. When you call others out for their sins when you are a even bigger sinner, that is called hypocrisy at it's worst!

That statement alone should be a warning to all true believers to stay away from Morningside and the Jim Bakker ministry! It is a den of thieves and adulterers. As a person who visited Morningside last summer said "He would never step foot into that house of sin ever again." I think that is a good advise for us all. That man obviously saw at Morningside what we hear on this blog from Jim Bakkers people.

Brother Dortch said...

A red flag should pop up telling anybody that, whenever a preacher has to hide his credentials and never once talk about them, something is rotten in Denmark!

Also, so many of the responses on this blog are obviously from the young Masters kids who are choosing to create a world they want to create and not look at their world as it really is.

You kids are going to find out what the real world is like once you leave Morningside. The more you delay it, the harder it will
be to deal with once you no longer have a choice. Why hasn't Nate gotten a job in media and he has been gone from the school now for what, a year? Why hasn't Trystan gotten a job in media? Whay hasn't the ENTIRE CLASS OF YEAR ONE, TWO AND THREE gotten jobs in media? Well, I think you see what I mean.

Let's get to a real school ladies and accredited one! Then you can say you have a real education instead of false hopes put in your head from a known con artist!

Anonymous said...

Come on. Do some of you people really think that the U.S. government should approve of, supervise, or control the ordination process of Christian ministers?

No elected official would get within a hundred miles of that proposal.

I am not a Bakker supporter, but I think raising that issue is pointless. I guarantee you, ordination or non-ordination is not what is going to end his current charade.

Anonymous said...

"People are going to eat their own babies."
Jim Bakker, 2012

Brother Dortch said...

When you apply for a job do you hide your credentials from your perspective employer? Well, if you do, I certainly assume you must enjoy being unemployed for the rest of your life. I don't see what there is to hide and be ashamed of.

It certainly does not take a genius to know that here is a man who spent five years in federal prison for engaging in a corrupt pattern of racketerring by the selling of "lifetime partnerships" and diverting funds advertised for one purpose and using these funds for another purpose.

I do not claim to know all the answers but, it seems to me, that the good ole' boys charasmatic churches are certainly set up to be owned by one or two persons who use these churches to get rich. The gospel, exactly in Bakker's case, is simply a sideline.

Bakker got out of prison and told Larry King, on live CNN network TV, with wife Lori by his side, that he intended never to raise funds on TV ever again. This fact was again confirmed in his book called "I Was Wrong".

Today, we see the entire charade was nothing more than pure bullshit. Not only is he selling "lifetime partnerships" again but he is also scamming the public with the sale of such fraudulent items as a wrist band that supposedly corrects the frequencies in your brain so you can have a better nights sleep. If that is not snake oil then I don't know what snake oil is!

I will entertain comments from all bloggers anywhere who have an idea to share on exactlly how the American public can be protected from Jim Bakker and all other con artists in the name of God just like him.

Tanya said...

It seems reasonable to me to talk about credentials in the case of Jim Bakker because he refused to participate in the redemption ladder set out by his faith (info courtesy of Brother Dortch). In other words, his behaviour resulted in him being de-frocked, and rather than face the consequences of his actions, work on the redemption ladder, and earn his right to be called "Pastor," Jim took the easy way and found someone who would tap him on the shoulder with a Pastor-stick and hey-presto, Jim Bakker is a pastor once more. Or maybe that didn't happen either, Jim doesn't talk about it, maybe he is just using "Pastor" because there is no oversight.

But fair enough, we don't need to get hung up on the nuts and bolts of credentialing, we can keep focus on the core issue for those who prefer: Jim avoided the consequences of his actions - and we can add this to other avoidance behaviour, so we have: (1) spiritual: ignoring the redemption ladder, and (2) financial: keeping all property in his wife and mother-in-law's names.

Continued silence from the students, or anyone else, on what Morningside did to help their neighbors after the tornado - other then film them, which only helps Jim sell more product. Still looks like they did nothing to help... it would be nice to be wrong about this one...

Tanya said...

Jim had a good head of steam worked up for today's new show - anyone else seen it yet? Large flashing notice on the screen "last days for bonus food offer" (or something like that) while Jim talked about people eating their babies, and roving gangs killing the truckers that deliver food. Jim also had a little slip when he was talking about not relying on electricity, and said that in all the condos he was building at Heritage... oops, Morningside, he was having fireplaces installed. Seemed Jim was in a Heritage frame of mind - maybe because he is doing the same thing.

And - I caught a glimpse of the Jesus statue in the background - no plaque with the donors' names on the base. Starting to look like maybe Jim doesn't want his statue messed up with a plaque...

Anonymous said...

As far as the credentials of Jim Bakker on anything, preacher, teacher, school administrator, I say show me the proof of your qualifications. I wouldn't let just anyone provide medical treatment to my family or myself. A person needs to provide me with legimate details of their education and skills. You better believe I find out what school they have been to, I study the diplomas on the walls, and I search out referrals. They had better have a good track record with previous patients! Good doctors will give you written documentation of all that information so that you can do your due diligence. They don't lead you on a rabbit trail to find it either! All this to say, I certainly will not let some quack be my spiritual authority!

You risk the care of your physical body to a medical doctor. You risk your eternal soul to a corrupt preacher who leads you astray. I think the latter is the most important!

Brother Dortch said...

I find Tanya's (as always) and the above blogger's @5:27 comments to be very insightful. Thank-you for posting them!

Anonymous said...

Scripture was taken out of context with the "eat your babies" line. God was speaking in Ezekiel to Old Testament Jewish people in Israel because they were worshiping idols. Here's the passage in context:

8 “Therefore this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I myself am against you, Jerusalem, and I will inflict punishment on you in the sight of the nations. 9 Because of all your detestable idols, I will do to you what I have never done before and will never do again. 10 Therefore in your midst parents will eat their children, and children will eat their parents. I will inflict punishment on you and will scatter all your survivors to the winds. 11 Therefore as surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, because you have defiled my sanctuary with all your vile images and detestable practices, I myself will shave you; I will not look on you with pity or spare you. 12 A third of your people will die of the plague or perish by famine inside you; a third will fall by the sword outside your walls; and a third I will scatter to the winds and pursue with drawn sword.

Jim didn't mention any idols or defiling of the temple when he ran that 'eating babies' line across the screen.

If you notice, Jim's reference to scripture always begin with a ... and end with a ... because he has to leave the majority of it out in order to use it for his purposes.

Anonymous said...

One step further, the Bible says, in BLACK AND WHITE in Ezekiel 5:5, 5 “This is what the Sovereign LORD says: ****This is Jerusalem,**** which I have set in the center of the nations, with countries all around her."

Jerusalem, NOT BLUE EYE, MO!!!!

Axel the janitor. said...

Damn Junkman left the studios a mess. All kind of garbage all over the place, big grease stains on the carpet, rusty nails and paint chips on the seats, and to make matters worst now I got to fumigate the place to get rid of the cockroaches, roaches hiding everywhere, some of them the size of mice. Thanks a lot Bakker!!!!

Craig said...

Meanwhile, back in Blue Eye the zombies are
...sitting at their table, clutching forks and knives...

Kool-Aid Kid said...

I hear the sounds of moronside horns blowing in the distance and the beating of empty space food buckets! Bakker zombies, hillbillies and trolls are forming up for another seige.

Anonymous said...

"I certainly will not let some quack be my spiritual authority!"

You made my point. You have the choice to decide where you want to go to church and who you want to have as a pastor, minister, whatever.

That's different than the concept of some kind of government-approved ordination that would be struck down in any federal district court.

I also agree with a previous poster who said that there is plenty to talk about concerning the Bakker circus rather than the issue of ordination.

Anonymous said...

Yes, Anonymous, you can make the choice whose teaching you follow. It is unfortunate that there are so many fools following Jim.

Worse than the adults following him is the children who have come from neglectful and abusive homes being subjected to this false prophet. There has to be some government oversight for their sake. There has been enough damage done to these kids at a young age according to their testimonies. There has been drug and alcohol abuse along with sexual abuse. Being under the influence of Jim Bakker will only set them up for further failure and destruction in their lives.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

The cry of "Times of Trouble" has two meanings for Jim Bakker aka The Frog. One is personal and the other is to make money which we can already figure out.
The personal "Times of Trouble" for The Frog is:
1. an audit of the moronside books.
2. forgetting where he packed away his corset jacket.
3. getting caught on one of his many lies.

eye of the tiger said...

The good Pastor is here to stay. That is a reality you people just can't accept. It bugs the every loving heck out of you because you know in your hearts that's the truth of the matter. You're going to need kryptonite to get rid of him, he's like stainless steel. The funny thing is guys like Bakker who keep coming back is what this great country is all about. Never say die and eye of the tiger. Pastor is last of his kind, a dying breed who is an inspiration to down and outers, an example of true courage and fortitiude.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

eye of the tiger,

"You're going to need kryptonite to get rid of him"

So you're saying there's a chance .... LOL

Anonymous said...

I can guarantee that Jim Bakker looks better at his age than any of you will ever look. There is this youthful glow about him, and most importantly his spiritual anointing. Be jealous all you want, haters gonna hate. What, do you guys secretly want to be a part of morningside or something? Feel free to stop by and see what we're all about, Jesus. Rot in hell sinners!

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Anon@1153am (who is secretly good old stupid zombie called "eye of the tiger"

When the devil comes for Jim Bakker I'm sure he'll find room in his arms to grab you too you freak.

Anonymous said...


Kool-Aid Kid said...

The referee throws down the flag in the game. Zombie "eye of the tiger" thrown out of the game and will have 666 written on his forehead as punishment.

happenstance said...

You bozos gotta face it. With Bakker gone all you people out there in troll land will be hanging around with nothing to do, getting in all sorts of mischief. In a strange way, in a philosophical way, Bakker is more important to you all then he is to me, without him you are nothing. Bakker is your reason for being kinda ironic but hey ask yourself if this is not true.

Kool-Aid Kid said...


You're back. Bored????

Tanya said...

11:40am: Jim Bakker is an "inspiration to down and outers" - you may be right on that one, on yesterday's show Jim said with a big smile that they (Morningside and him) were the "rejects of the rejects."

The rejects of the rejects.

That is who you are so enamored with.

I see that in your rambling comment about the "good Pastor" you chose to ignore several things. I'll list a few, let's see if you want to post again and address any of them:

(a)Lack of accountability within his own faith (and/or credentialing)

(b)Apparent lack of any action to help his neighbors after the Branson tornado - the opposite of what he tells everyone else to do.

(c)Exploitation of 9/11 images.

(d)Running a sham "school" and taking advantage of young people, may of whom come from abusive backgrounds (by their own testimonies).

(e)Promising to put all donors' names on a plaque if they would send him $1000 for the Jesus statue, and no plaque in sight yet (I think it was the $1000 amount that was promised the plaque).

(f)The deception of saying the Morningside choir performed after only 4 rehearsals, when all they did was drop a few of their students into a pre-existing choir (and P.S. - have you seen the video of the choir's performance - shaky, poor focus, poor composition - this is the product of Bakker's "school").

(g)Taking scripture out of context (an example explained by 7:58am), showing disaster movies and real-world disasters to instill fear and sell his product.

(h)Getting out of jail, writing a book "I was wrong," and returning to exactly to what he was doing before - so much so that on the most recent show he called Morningside "Heritage" by mistake.

(e)All the different things Jim Bakker has said about why he was in prison: he made a mistake, Man condemened him, his Ministry was stolen from him, prison was his personal desert so he could study the Bible, prison was his payback to God for all the Sabbath days he did not rest on... there may be more reasons, those are the ones I have heard him say.

There's more contained in these comments, this is only off the top of my head.

So -- any of the anonymous posters want to address any of the things we've been talking about? Or do you want to stick with swearing outright (11:59am - I think that's the first time I've seen that on this blog, classy) and the name-calling.

If you stick with swearing and name-calling, then we will all know that you have nothing concrete to say in defense of your Pastor Jim.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Bozo and eye of the tiger,

Why don't you moronside so called "students?" ask your zombie leader to get you more than one laptop so you don't have to take turns posting here.

Anonymous said...

Think "Dino Cake".

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Think " Con Man ".

Anonymous said...

Jim don't need me to explain to the world all the good he's done and stands for. His record is an open book. The guy lives a very frugal lifestyle, growing his own vegetable and baking his own bread. He allows himself maybe 350 dollars a week take home. The rest goes to the Ministry, is this the life of a "big shot". Bakker does a lot of good that he never talks about, he's modest about things like that because he knows the Lord sees all and doesn't take to braggers and the self righteous. Give up your ways of hate and get some religion, don't have to be Bakker's. The ways of the athiest is the way to damnation. Ask for forgiveness for all this here hateful talk you practice.

Anonymous said...

You make fun of the way we look??? Don't you think its kinda cheap to put freeze framed shots of us on a blog without our permission?? We never see photos of you guys, I can only imagine how all of you look, lol. I heard tanya doesn't just look like rosie o'donnell, she is rosie o'donnell. Brother Dortch still can't find a job, that's why he comments all day, I think its the only way he copes with his manic depression, sad. Kool aid kid lives at home with his mom, everytime he wants to comment on this blog he has to take the bus to the public library where he feeds his sinful nature, that is until they kick out for smelling up the place.

Kool-Aid Kid said...


You're just too stupid.

Next moronside zombie please!

Kool-Aid Kid said...


Let's put it this way moronside freak, if you have had your pic appear on the Bucket then I can say to get in line behind Jimbo and Lori and get some work done. I'm sure they will give you all the information you need. I think they give discounts for hillbillies that are missing some teeth like you.

fed up with the fools said...

Once again we get to see the depraved morals and values of the Bakker "christians". None of you, or Jim Bakker bother me. It is transparent you are the most wicked and vilest kind of people, the ones God tells us to stay away from. You feel man can't take Jim out, and you're right. God will do it His way and in His time. With the behavior you all display here and Jim ratcheting up the con game; I'd say the days of Jim Bakker and company are soon going to be up. God will not be mocked and won't endure fools!

Anonymous said...

Hey! A zombie came up with the perfect 'welcome to Morningside' slogan!

"Feel free to stop by and see what we're all about, Jesus. Rot in hell sinners!"

I can feel the spirit of love alive at Morningside, just like Pastor Bakker said! Just put on your "I'm a good christian" face before you go, because the generous saints at Morningside don't want to minister to the lost - just the saved, please! Just to be safe, check your brain at the statue, because they really don't want to engage in any conversation that doesn't include looking the other way or bobbing your head in agreement.

And don't forget to bring your kids with when you vacation at that BEE-U-TEE-FUL campground - because our kids need as much exposure to faithful disciples as much as possible in this crazy world.

And don't forget, they are all about Jesus! So, "Rot in hell, sinners!"

Craig said...

A library is a house of sin? I suppose because jim hasn't authorized any of those books. Learning and education is of the devil. No wonder you zombies are so stupid.

Anonymous said...

I lived through the Jim Jones period. In fact, one of his churches was not far from where my wife works now.

There are so many parallels between Jones and The Frog that it sometimes sends a tingle up my spine to hear him screaming about the end of the world being near.

I am sure there are good, but misguided, people at that place. Better get out while the gettin's good! And whatever you do, stay away from the Kook-aid. Stick with green tea.

Kool-Aid Kid said...


Yes apparently the moronside Bakker worshipper believes so. I'm not going to use the computers at the library anymore but I will still ride on the bus! LOL LOL

Tanya said...

12:44pm - slow down, for your own sake - you're getting a little schizoid on us. You say "we never see photos of you guys, I can only imagine how all of you look, lol" and then you say "I heard tanya doesn't just look like rosie o'donnel, she is rosie o'donnel."

The little voices in your head whispering away again? There are medications that can help you with that.

I also notice that you don't bother to choose a screen name - do you feel safer hiding behind "anonymous?"

More importantly, though, you did not address any of the points I listed - just said that Jim's record is an open book. Haven't understood the comments again, huh. Just one recent example - where Jim got the right to be called Pastor after being defrocked. Even the Bakker-supporter who posted and (very politely, may I add) gave the information said s/he wasn't supposed to talk about it. So no, that is not an "open book."

Anonymous said...

Ron - I really would like to contact you privately. Do you have a dummy account up you can check?

These folks are spooky. said...

Notice how Tanya criticizes people for name calling and lampooning when this whole blog is one name calling and mean spirited forum which specializes in cheap shots. I would like to see her once tell Kool-aid-Kid or Craig to lay off the low blows, but she never will, she's as phony as her waist size. I mean they started the whole thing and if you counter their whole phony baloney way of looking at things, it's poor sportsmanship and un-Christian, that's where athiest have an advantage, they have no ethics no sense of mission, no morals live for the moment. And in the end they ask for the Lord's help like Madlyn Murray O'Hair did. What an odd bunch of critters.

Here we go again................... said...

Oh Tanya please!!!!! Don't start with the annonymous cowardly bull. I suppose Tanya is your real name? Everyone with the exception of the administrator is annon. I suppose that really is Brother Dortch or the Kool-aid-Kid posting? Knock off that "see how brave I am" fiasco, nobody buys that.

Anonymous said...

To 12:44,

You sure focus on others "sinfull natures", never your own.

Are all these nasty comments by the Master Kids?

Heaven help us all if these are the best and the brightest christian kids today!

From the Jim Bakker website about the MMC students:

We believe in the new breed of young people dedicated to win the world for Jesus through all means of broadcasting. We believe it's in their DNA. Morningside Master's Media is committed to setting the pace in "hands on" training for this generation in Christian broadcasting. Our mission is to build into this chosen generation a foundation of love, hope, integrity, purpose, courage and responsibility that will carry them into greatness for the Kingdom of God.

DEDICATED TO WIN THE WORLD FOR JESUS THROUGH ALL MEANS OF BROADCASTING - Except for this media, Ron's blog. Kids if you can't cut it here, you won't make it anywhere!

LOVE- From the kids behavior that foundation is not solid ground. If Jims idea of his star pupils calling names and swearing at people is love then for sure this "christian" school needs to shut down!

HOPE - The obvious anger of these kids does not represent the hope of a new creation in Christ. They continue to rage and attack others and they will only spiral more out of control than they are now. That sounds like a hopeless future.

INTERITY - The lies about the choir, not helping storm victims, etc. This is not integrity.

PURPOSE - serving self is not the purpose! God has designed for his people. Unfortunately running cameras to disaster sights is teaching these kids it's all about the best shot, best story line, etc., All for the purpose of making money and nothing about serving and ministry.

RESPONSIBILITY - If you say you are the next generation to take the gospel, you are going to have to be worthy of it. If you can't handle what is on this blog with more dignity and decorum you will never be fit for kingdom work.

Anonymous said...


Atheists don't have God's standards to live up to, you are correct. But you claim to be a Christian so you do! I would suggest starting to live your own life by His standards! If you aren't willing to pray for and reach out to any unsaved people with God's love than keep to yourself. It's people like you who are so unloving and unkind in the body of Christ who make it harder for the rest of us to reach others with the love of Christ.

Beepo said...

@2:11.... If you think you're going to reach an atheist with Christ message. You've got another thing comming. Maybe an agnostic? You should read the "Screwtape Letters" by C.S. Lewis, even the Devil does not want those buggers in hell. I mean you can certainly try but it would have the same efficacy as shoving a red hot fireplace poker up a Bobcat's ass. Good luck!! And don't start saying things like what kind of Christian are you to write such things. I could care less what you and some of the eunuchs that visit this site think.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

To These folks are spooky @ 145pm

I think I will call you Casper.

Casper says, "I would like to see her once tell Kool-aid-Kid or Craig to lay off the low blows, but she never will, she's as phony as her waist size."

What's with you moronside zombies? You drool over Lori and now your checking out waistlines. Get a life Casper.

Brother Dortch said...

Good evening everyone!

I would like to take this direct quote from one of the above Bakker bloggers:

"I can feel the spirit of love alive at Morningside"

OK! Here is my question and remember...DON'T ANSWER IT!

I sure would hate to see you break your record. The question is:

Q) DO YOU THINK SUSAN RUIZ COULD ALSO "feel the spirit of love at Morningside" WHEN SHE LIVED THERE?

I'll be anxiously awaiting your response. Thank-you!

P.S.--Remember now. DON'T ANSWER IT! I'm sure you want HAPPY CHURCH!

Anonymous said...


You are a very sick person. If there is no help for atheists then there is no help for you.

I would suggest you do your homework on CS Lewis. He dabbled in the occult, was for a time an atheist, suffered from severe depression, after claiming to be a christian he had a civil union with a woman who had 2 children from her previous marriage, only after she was threaten with death from cancer did he marry her and end their "civil union". I prefer to quote Jesus and follow his exemplary life rather than another fallen human being!

By your standards if CS Lewis could not have changed from being an avowed atheist to a christian. I believe your reasoning skills are quite lacking!

Do your homework before you attack people with your senseless, shameless diatribes!

Kool-Aid Kid said...


Oh come on now Beepo, I think you need a new name. Let's call you Bobcat.

I can just imagine the bumper stickers you have on your old Ford truck. I'm guessing you have winners like "What would Jesus Shoot?" or "Redneck Pride" or " Jesus Got R Dun". Am I right Bobcat?

Craig said...

I done told you kids not to be a goin to that thar liarberry. It ain't no good fer you'uns. Now git in thare and give our stachoo of our Dear Leader jim seig hiels till I is done grinden our wheat fer supper.

That's my lampoon by the way.

Beepo said...

@2;56....Hey dude all human beings have fallen once or twice in their lives, it's what makes us people. I'm not about to condemn someone who has fallen and regained their equalibrium, athiest never will. Once an athiest always a athiest, they are like Nazis in that way. And C.S Lewis was Ok in my book don't go knocking him, saying things like Brother Dortch is a prolyphic writer and Lewis sucks. Brother dortch couldn't make a pimple on Lewis's ass when it comes to writing. Your problem is your too full of hubris, too much pride, you need to humble yourself, come off your "high horse" thinking your going to convert the world and everyone is worth saving. And another things don't go putting me in with that Morningside crew, I'm a lone Christian and don't need anyone dictating to me about what's what,

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Lone Wolf Bobcat,

You don't need to reply to my question. Now I know I'm right.

Anonymous said...

Has it ever occurred to you nimrods that 1/2 the comments from each faction are fabricated?
Maybe a couple people didn't take their meds, or are really lonely, oh wait, that's all of you right?

Craig said...

I think the Nimrod at 5:17 is correct. Too many anonymous posts. Used to be easy to tell the real posts.
Oh and Zach, jim putting an "L" on your forehead was a truly hilarious Freudian slip.

Anonymous said...

Kelsey, you skeerd to post under your real name? Awwwww

Ron said...

Comments are hilarious, hey when do we get back to the Hooligan's Island jokes?

Finale of this episode is almost done, looking at Thurs/Fri to post it. Then we can get a break from the comments fragmenting, I know that's a little disruptive to the flow of things.

If you don't like your picture being used, then I suggest you not appear on TV with Jim Bakker. You are fair game, I mean after're on tv.

To the person wanting to contact me privately, email me at

Beepo said...

Lots of these comments are jocular in nature, that's how guys are, the women on this post take too much of this serious. I'm the guy who posted as Beepo and have nothing against anyone here, or athiest, I just demonstrated how easy it is to pull someone leg/chain and send them into a tizzy like the person I messed around with. Nothing personal whoever you were and nothing against Brother Dortch,who is both a gentleman and a good sport.

Anonymous said...

Is Ariel available to Jim for special anointing?

Jessica said...

I have not seen anyone post a remark against Jesus or the Bible, so why are the zombies so angry and thin skinned? Bakker sold Jesus out a long time ago for "thirty pieces of silver". The "F" word insult that a Bakker worshiper posted sums up the Jim Bakker show for me.

Great post Ron..and interesting comments by us trolls. The zombies talk a lot of trash but have no defense against logic and honesty. And, Bakker, is losing no sleep because he is spending and building and laughing all the way to someone's bank on top of that mountain. What a "freak".

Brother Dortch said...

Thank-you Beepo!

Now if just one Bakker supporter can answer my question regarding whether or not Susan Ruiz felt the love that Morningside has in the air than it certainly would make my day.

Another thing, Beepo: I know you could have very easily called me a witch and I give you major props for not doing so. Now put your sleep wristband on and get your frequencies adjusted and have a nice night's rest!

Anonymous said...

LOL at Beepo,

Let me say this slower, your hero CS Lewis WAS an atheist. Between his friendship with Tolkien and reading George McDonalds works, Lewis came to embrace Christianity. Have you ever thought Beepo that it's people like you that causes people to be atheists? If I didn't know other good people in the church, and didn't have a strong faith in God, someone like you would turn me off to God!

Your a very confused person. I never said anything about Brother Dortch's writings, let alone compare his writings to CS Lewis.

I never knocked CS Lewis, just stated the facts of his life. I actually like CS Lewis and have all his books and give them as gifts also. Have all the Narnia dvd's.

The difference between you and me, I do my homework and know what I am talking about.

Anonymous said...

HA,HA, Beepo, you got me and it is funny! I can laugh at myself. Did I educate you well on CS Lewis though?lol

Anonymous said...

Hey, if any of you are interested, I'm planning a road trip to Branson from the west coast. I have room for 4 people. I'll be bringing extra camping gear for everyone. One thing, please make sure to bring your own pot and condies. If interested please reply @

Ron said...

Your one shot at trying to be me and that's the best you could do?

The above post is obviously not me. To make things clearer, going forward I will use my profile name instead of the "write-in" name to prevent unfunny people from making unfunny jokes under my name.

Again, any future comments, at least for a little while, will NOT be made with the type-in name. Beginning now.

Anonymous said...

Sure thing Charlie. Your doing gods work, and I'm down for the road trip.

Tanya said...

Oh, 1:57pm please!!!

If you have read my comments, you will see that I have specifically stated "screen name" - meaning I am well aware that it is a "screen" name, and not an "actual" name. My point is that by not choosing and sticking to a "screen name" you, or anyone else, has zero accountability for what you say - as opposed to those of us who do stay with one name. So it is not anonymous in the true sense of the word.

I mean look at the fun you are having by knowing my "screen name!" You can direct all kinds of things at me, keep up a sustained attack, and if you wanted to, you could even go back in time and see how my comments have progressed.

And, to 1:45pm - I knew nobody would notice, because nobody seems to read these comments properly, but for many posts now I have not called anyone any names. I have used the term "Bakker-supporter" which is neutral. I wondered if that would make a difference, and obviously it did not. The content of my comments continue bother you.

And, in a recent post I acknowledged that there is sarcasm, name calling, etc, and I have said that it does not bother me - here is what bothers me:

Underneath everything, there are some valid questions about Jim Bakker that continue to go unanswered, and points of concern that continue to go unaddressed. I notice that no-one has mentioned what excellent help Morningside provided their neighbors after the tornado. Enough time has gone by, I guess the answer is really "zero."

Craig said...

Good call Ron. I do think since this site has become more popular the real trolls have been visiting. I have no doubt that someone from morningside @7:08 posted that comment. Jerks.

Buddy's Buddy said...

Well, shoot! I thought that post at 7:08 was from you, Ron. I was almost ready to sign up to share gas and driving.

What a gas it would be for our flashmob to invade Moroningside with a plateful of hashtag brownies, and Bob Marley blasting from the stereo!

Craig said...

Lol Buddy.

Brother Dortch said...

Hey Ron!

If you do decide to go, I'm sure there's one free boat ride waiting fo you over there at The Pokeberry Docks!

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Welcome to the Foodbucket Beepo and I hope all is well Kelsey.

NotForProphet said...

Truly love your observations Ron, on the most incredulous so-called 'Christain' cult ever.

"People, do you remember the BLUBONIC PLAGUE???? - Is anybody listening to me out there?????"

I am addicted, so please Jimbo, don't stop. Please Ron, don't stop!!!!!!

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Interesting to hear Kevin Shorey's take on 9/11 as it relates to God at his ministry site which appears to be somewhat different from the Frog's. The Frog believes the attacks were probably God’s judgment on America because God “let his hand down of protection for those planes to come in to hit those buildings.”
Kevin says in his video message " It seems like an injustice to lose these students at Columbine. It seems like an injustice to lose those folks at the Twin Towers at 9/11. It seems like ... ya there where injustices that God will correct." Unless I'm reading these guys wrong, one is saying 9/11 was vengence and the other it was injustice. Maybe that's why Kevin twists in his chair on tv when the Frog starts screaming about 9/11. It just seems to me that they have differing thoughts. Differences aside, it's obvious both these creeps want to profit from the whole 9/11 incident. It's sickening.

fed up with the fools said...

I think the zombie had a great idea. I think we should all take a trip to Morningside. Can you imagine their faces if we all walked in the door for the show. Ron I know you would get the honors at the head table. It would be the biggest crowd that show has ever had. Man, the fun we could have!

fed up with the fools at Morningside and JB ministries said...

I am going to change my identity so there is not mistaking who I am, and where I stand on this issue of zombies and Jim Bakker

Beepo said...

To 7;06,,, Thanks for being a good sport. Actually, No, I was aware of Lewis's past but you were very acurate in your knowledge of Lewis. Again thanks for being a sport and your sincerity about your beliefs.

Beepo said...

One last thing!! Thanks Kool aid Kid.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

You're welcome Beepo. Enjoy your stay with us at the good old Foodbucket.

Anonymous said...

You fellows and gals need to be a lot more truthful in your posts. I watched Jim Bakker show yesterday and I saw footage of the tornados in Branson. I also heard the Morningside bunch say that they passed out bottled water, silver sol and food and assisted in the goings on. I saw Mondo carrying heavy boxes and helping someone in need. I know it hurts your cause but please be truthful, I don't think I'm asking much.

Brother Dortch said...

"We've almost become zombie-like because we've been jaded. We've heard so much that we don't listen anymore."

--Jim Bakker 3/19/2012

Anonymous said...

If you all do decide to roadtrip down or up to Morningside you're going to need to get yourself some t-shirts or hats identifying yourselves as the Foodbucket bunch. I suggest something loud, but not artificial and phony like; "I Care".

Kool-Aid Kid said...


Personally speaking I would stand out in the moronside audience because unlike you zombie I have all my teeth, I don't wear old grandpa / hillbilly clothing and I look like I shower. Give me a big wave next time you sit your butt down on the moronside show freak.

Anonymous said...

I really don't like the new beefcake singer! Could someone please find out where Kevin is, this pot was expensive.

Anonymous said...

koolaidkid always gotta have the last word. Grow up already!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

If Zach or Kevin ever wore corduroy trousers it would sound like crickets, the noise their thighs would make rubbing together.

Anonymous said...

To 11:55,

You HEARD on the Jim Bakker show they helped the tornado victims. I would like to SEE it. We have asked the Bakker people many times to tell us how they helped. All we get back is nasty remarks and insults A simple question with a simple answer of yes, we did this, or no we only taped the destruction. I have to believe this is to deflect from answering the question honestly. Is it really that hard to give an account for what they did. We hear a lot of disinformation on the Jim Bakker show. A prudent person would and should question most of what Jim Bakker says. I for one would be so happy to SEE them helping someone out besides Jim. I do want to know if Jim gave any of those buckets out. The buckets are his best seller and his biggest sales pitch. That must be because there is the most mark up on them and therefore his greatest money maker. His sales pitch with the buckets are: you will keep your family fed, you will be able to barter with them, and finally you will be able to minister to others in need. I would really like to know if he put his money where his mouth is!

Kool-Aid Kid said...


Not this time zombie ... you get the last word as far as we're concerned. Enjoy it freak.


To 12:27

You care, Jim Bakker cares, people of Jim Bakker ministry cares, Morningside people care. Could you elaborate on how? Thanks!

I do care that Jim is scaring people and using the name of Jesus to do it. When is scaring people caring? When is making a profit from scaring people caring? I know my God say "peace" is one of the fruits of the Spirit. Jesus also said "His peace He leaves us." I could go on and on with scriptures, because Jesus told us so many times, in so many ways, that we could have peace. Why, because He promised He would never leave us or forsake us.

Gods Peace to you!

My take is. said...

To the above^^^ I think, that's how I interpret it, the writer of the "I care" was being facetious in his statement. If I remember correctly, Bakker is the one who wears the "Care" or "I Care" ballcaps. Maybe he/she was being somewhat sarcastic and was referring to the Bakker crew as being insincere

Anonymous said...

If you can't beat them, join them. Ron you and your friends are more then welcome to stop by morningside. You'll see how nice we really are here. As far as your pot goes, Lori and Mondo have connections. For the condoms, we sell them at the general store, only extra small, we figured that wouldn't be a problem since its just the food bucket fanpage crew. See ya soon.
Pastor Jim bakker

Anonymous said...

I was really hoping for something harder...does Lori still have the number of her meth dealer, or did Mondo step into that spot?

I figured I'd just hit Jim up for rubbers. Or Lori.

Anonymous said...

Jim bakker not only did nothing for the tornado victims, he bragged about mondo carrying a couple of boxes, what self centered fools! ^^^To the above post, YOU ARE FUNNY! I'm being serious, you crack me up dude, are you single. If interested please reply at

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Anon @ 611, 626 and 627 pm (aka Bozo )

Hello Bozo,

Welcome back. I know it's you because you're the only zombie that comes on the bucket that attacks both the Foodbucket and Bakker zombies in the same comment. It's not "Jim bakker", it's "Jim Bakker" Bozo.

Anonymous said...

No, 6:27 was me Ron. I promised to not use my profile name yesterday, from now on I'm only using my write in name to deter impersonators. It turns out that part three might take longer to complete, look for the new blog posting in about a week. To 6:11, get a life.

Anonymous said...

Kool-Aid KId

What do you think of these Bakker bozo's. It's hard to talk to a schizo because they only like to talk to themselves. Those voices they hear in their heads are now on this blog rambling out loud. Good thing they are in the compound. I think it would be wide to have a gate and lock put on that place. It's getting to dangerous to let them out in the real world.

Anonymous said...

Hey kool aid kid, first of all, wipe that damn food off your mouth you slob! Go to bed, isn't it past your bedtime, mommy gonna come tuck you in?

Anonymous said...

If you were locked up in what is basically an old age home full of elderly people with nothing to do except call people names and you are 19 and also have nothing to do you would be going crazy and calling people names too. It is the only excitement they will have all week. That is, unless Jim calls one of them down to the bath house! LOL LOL LOL !!!

Anonymous said...

Hey Ron, just wanted to let you know Janet Krehbiel has stage 3 breast cancer. She still works at morningside despite being extremely ill... I kindly ask you take the silly photos of her down from your blog. A request was also sent to your personal email. Thank you, god bless.
Family/friends of Janet Krehbiel

Anonymous said...

I hope she suffers. Damn nazi.

Buddy's Buddy said...

Well, well, well. It looks like the inmates have finally taken over the asylum.

Words of Wisdom said...

If you do not wish to look dirty, then why are you lying in the pigpen with the pigs?

Tanya said...

@11:55am - the show you are speaking of just aired in my area yesterday. Please let me clarify, from my perspective, the timeline:

The Branson torando hit. Some posters on this blog asked what Jim Bakker and Morningside did. An anonymous poster said they saw the students go out with cameras to film - so, the question was turned outwards, and some posters asked any of the students or residents to tell us what Jim Bakker/Morningside did to help their neighbors.

You can look back in the comments and see that we did not get one answer. Not one. We got the typical replies as 3:19pm pointed out, with no-one saying "we did this" or "we did that."

Then, on YouTube, the students posted a brief video of the destruction and an interview with one victim. This was the same footage they aired on the show, by the way. We saw Mondo carry one box, no foodbuckets, no silversol, no water/water filters.

I posted again asking what Morningside did to help, and noted that if we did not get an answer then it would seem they did not do anything. Again, no answer came.

Now we have one show where Jim Bakker says they did things to help. If this is the case, why didn't anyone answer on this blog? And, if this is the case, why did the students post a video of the destruction rather than a video of Morningside helping?

So, 11:55am, that is how it went. If only having Jim Bakker *say* from his TV set that they helped is sufficient for you, then that is OK - there are some who will look at the timeline, the lack of response from Bakker-supporters to the question about the tornado, the lack of video (when the school is supposed to be exactly that - teaching the students how to work in media, promote their ministry, etc)and still have questions - and that does not make those postings lack truth.

Los Angeles Ministry Worker said...

A Bakker truck pulls up to film disaster footage to ultimately make money off the footage when it is aired. Mondo, during filming of the damage, asking to help carry a box or two strictly for the photo op, is not helping victims of the disaster. Neither is cameraman James when giving out a bottle of Silver Sol off camera. The entire scenerio was staged and, had it not been for the footage being shot at that location on that day and at that time, then those specific people would never have received a bottle of Silver Sol and Mondo would not have carried out one box. The van involved is shown on Bakker's website on the video archive. it is a broadcast van not a relief or cargo van. there is absolutely no room for supplies for mass victims in this vehicle. If Bakker had truly been helping the victims, he would have had a semi full of relief and every bit of this "help" would now be on film and being milked for everything it's worth! Remember: Here is a man who films a van arriving full of new cameras for the students! Isn't he going to film a relief effort he has spent so much money on too? Isn't that highly to his benefit to do so? What you heard on the TV show is all pure bull and don't kid yourself that it is not. That is why even the Masters kids themselves did not respond to the questions asked on this site--they know NOTHING about any such relief to any such victims because none of them saw any. Jim bakker is a joke amongst true Christians. Isee and hear it everyday. Everybody knows he is a liar and a con artist who is, as you have just seen, also an opportunist, as well. I am sick of the lying and conning on this show and am amazed this church is allowed to use the public's airwaves to further this fraud.

Anonymous said...

My Hometown churches sends relief to devastated areas. A notice is sent to churches. Our town and churches show up in mass. We provide everything from water bottles, to woman femine products, to food. Nothing is missed because we have a disaster coordination team within the churches who contact the local churches in the devastated area for lists of needed items. Those churches then have teams loading two semis that are parked in the Lutheran Church parking lot, then drive by christian drivers from a local christian trucking outfit. That semi rolls down the road, and into the devasted areas with a HUGE logo on the side that says "JESUS LOVES YOU, AND SO DO WE". Real Christians "love one another" as Jesus commanded us to, and we do it in word and deed.

All the churches now budgets for relief supplies. Our pastors are very aware of the times and our teaching the truth about how we are to respond in the crises to come as believers. We don't sit and worry about how to protect ourselves in these difficult times. We know because we are faithful to do the Lords work and if our time should come in our hometown God will be there for us also. I worry for Morningside and the Jim Bakker ministry, Jesus taught "as you do to others, so it will be done for you". I am so glad to be a part of the body of Christ who walks the talk!

Anonymous said...

On the show that aired last night, Jim and Lori said that the profit the ministry makes off the foodbuckets is very, very slim. Then they show footage of the warehouse being built to sell foodbuckets. Then they say that they need money "to pay the bills and stay on the air".

here's a thought - don't spend anymore thousands on building a warehouse to sell anything - just point people to THE INTERNET and tell them to order for themselves. Or how about ordering direct from the manufacturer working with Jim? Then, you can take all those thousands and thousands of construction dollars and STAY ON THE AIR!!!

Also, the only thing missing from the Jerry Jones Foodbucket Extravanganza for $2000 is some Seychelle radiation eliminating filters. Has anyone stopped and thought to themselves - if there's radiation everywhere, what is the point of making sure your water isn't full of radiation? Your dirt, air, plants, house, vehicles... they will all contain radiation - so why even bother with the water?

Anonymous said...

Two nights ago, on a new show, Jim was getting ready to end the program, but he stopped cold, looked at the camera, and said, "Order your food!"

Wait... I thought you were sending money to the Jim BS as a donation for the ministry, and then you'd receive a love gift (of food, rain barrels, trinkets and cheap made-in-China garbage). Right?

Now I'm confused...

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Symptoms of radiation poisoning:
•Bleeding from the nose, mouth, gums, and rectum
•Bloody stool
•Hair loss
•Inflammation of exposed areas (redness, tenderness, swelling, bleeding)
•Mouth ulcers
•Nausea and vomiting
•Open sores on the skin
•Skin burns (redness, blistering)
•Sloughing of skin
•Ulcers in the esophagus, stomach or intestines
•Vomiting blood

Good thing you Bakker zombies have a Seychelle radiation eliminating filter!!!!!

The devil is going to have lots to talk about with Jim Bakker when he comes to take him away.

Anonymous said...

I'm an avid hunter and camper, I find that the Foodbuckets are an excellant and convenient method for your outdoor cooking experience. They are both tasty and handy, I use them every season. Jim is a dedicated individual, I think he has truly changed, although I never thought of him as criminal or evil. I want to say that Kool aid kid comes across as a punk, he is a fresh kid, damn fresh kid and should be banned from this place.

Kool-Aid Kid said...


Elevated blood pressure ( due to moronside space food ) in combination with an out of shape old man running thorough the backwoods country with a gun = heart attack.

Anonymous said...

I don't have any problem with freeze-dried food, or even being prepared for an emergency! I don't understand why Jim is setting himself and morningside up as the middle man, and becoming the warehouse and distributor? Can't he just test and endorse certain companies/products, and encourage people to order their own? And if they'd like to make a donation, then they can do so?

Our church endorses a specific study Bible, but they don't keep them in stock, sell them for a bloated price, and then tell you they are going to keep the profit for their ministry.

Awaiting The Sex Scandal said...

You are an avid bullshitter is all you really are. You THINK Jim has changed? Well, I KNOW he has not. Hace you watched his show lately? Get a brain and a life please. If not, send Jim all your money and be happy.

Anonymous said...

As a user of the food products, do you think your buckets contain meals or servings?
They are being sold as enough meals for 7 years. Do you think you can live on that? Seems irresponsible, if you really believe that you are saving people from peril in the end times, you wouldn't want to tell them they are buying enough food to sustain them for seven years, and turns out, it's only 130 calories a day for seven years.

Anonymous said...

I'm an old man, but I grew up with a mother who was bipolar (institutionalized) and I know other people who are bipolar.

I am really convinced that Jimbo is bipolar - probably bipolar II (the somewhat lesser version of bipolar illness).

He has delusions of grandeur, he is convinced the world is ending, he has times of being irritable and withdrawn and he has a nasty temper, he is obsessed with making money. He sees himself as being a male version of Joan of Arc.

Unfortunately, bipolar people often have the ability to convince naive (and in some cases, mentally ill) people that they are sages and prophets.

I would not be surprised to see this all come crashing down with a mental breakdown during the depressive stage.

Anonymous said...


Buddy's Buddy said...

Dear Anon@8:37,
The reason Jimbo does this is because, when he realized he couldn't go back to the halcyon days of Heritage USA, where he fomented the "Prosperity Gospel" (send in your "seed money" and "be blessed" ten fold in return), the only way he could rake in money was by setting up a curtain of fear and lies about "the coming times of trouble," peppering his shows with out-of-context Bible verses to justify his fearmongering, and selling craploads of junk that is neither healthy, nor effective, and in some cases dangerous (SilverSol, radiation pills).

If you think about JB from a purely capitalistic viewpoint, he is really brilliant. I'll give him that.

He's got an angle. Not many other so called Christian charismatic preachers are using this angle. And these days, all you need is an angle and tens of thousands of stupid people with a little bit o' money to make yourself very, very rich.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

so what's your point anonymous @ 9:22 and 9:36?

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Buddy's Buddy,

I believe you have made some very good points about the Frog's abilities.
I also believe that the time is coming when the Frog can teach a course in that field during his next jail house stay.

Anonymous said...

Thank you 7:39 for sharing that Jim and Lori said the profit on the food buckets is slim. That is another outright lie! The buckets of food cost Jim around $35 a bucket, he sells them for $150 or more a bucket. That is over a 400% mark up! I did not grab this number out of the air, I got it from Jerry Jones. Jim Bakker ministry then adds on exorbitant shipping costs. They are a great money maker for Jim!

Anonymous said...

@9:16... No Jim's fine. That's an old fashion way of dealing with things to say a person has mental issues and ship him off to the asylumn. If I were to put forth an opinion on who has mental problems it is the people who subscribe to blogs like this, to judge everyone with a different opinion as off the wall is somewhat bipolar I'd venture, and that is par for the course here. Jim bakker is trying to better the world and for all his attempts his only reward is persecution and flack from these ner do wells. I'd venture to say for everyone here who is anti-Jim bakker there are eleven in his camp. These people here are just "whistling Dixie".

corpulent kids said...

to 9:03.. You'd be surprised to see what people can live on. People have lived for years on starvation rations in POW, Nazi Camps, and during famine times (Irish Potato famine), that's why people in this country are so fat, they stuff themselves and then stuff themselves again. When you see some of these kids now adays fat cheeked and corpulent stuffing themselves with pastries it would do them good to live on those foodbuckets for a couple years. What's wrong with this country anyways, years ago fat was in the minority now it's the majority. I'm against Dino cakes though, that they don't need.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Anon Zombie @ 1145am

"... No Jim's fine."

Just fine? Not terrific or anything like that? Okay fine it is then.

"That's an old fashion way of dealing with things to say a person has mental issues and ship him off to the asylumn."

That's the way this person who is old remembers how people with mental illness were treated years ago. He never stated that's how people with mental illness are treated today did he?

"If I were to put forth an opinion on who has mental problems it is the people who subscribe to blogs like this,"

... but not the people that comment on here like you right?

"to judge everyone with a different opinion as off the wall is somewhat bipolar I'd venture,"

Okay, you lost me on that one. What???

"Jim bakker is trying to better the world"

No he is not.

"for all his attempts his only reward is persecution and flack from these ner do wells."

...and for all our attempts at the Foodbucket we are rewarded by persecution and flack from ner do well moronside zombies like you.

"I'd venture to say for everyone here who is anti-Jim bakker there are eleven in his camp."

11 of us! LOL You know what zombie, you're hired as a math teacher for Bakker's fake school.

"These people here are just "whistling Dixie". "

... and you're shouting "Death and Destruction".

Anonymous said...

Atta-boy!!!! Kool-aid-Kid!!!! Keep them in their place!!!

Anonymous said...

Kool Aid!
You have just found the next Math Professor at the college. Remember to tell him as part of his benefits he gets free bath house privileges with Jim.

G.J. Esquire said...

Joe C. It looks good, the next week will be crucial, all in all, I think we can settle this favorably.

Joe C Blue eye, Missouri said...

What we have here is failure to communicate.

Joe C's Press Agent said...

And I'm sure there is a lie or two thrown in there for good measure!

Joe C Blue eye, Missouri said...

It is begining to look that way. Excuses are like assholes.......

Joe C Blue eye, Missouri said...

Looks like there may be a sign in my future after all. I will play the game my way from this point on.

Anonymous said...

Get out of there, Joe! JB was showing pictures of Heritage on the show yesterday and talking about all the rooms he's building at Morningside to accommodate the Builder's Club members.

They're headed your way! Hide your foodbuckets!

Anonymous said...

Pastor bakker will never lose. Don't forget, he stands for all that's good in America. I was flicking through the channel guide on the TV, his shows are seen on about 5 different stations with Verizon on the east coast.

Joe C Blue eye, Missouri said...

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

Buddy's Buddy said...

We need to help Joe C. with the message for his sign that he'll be putting up facing Moroningside, just inside his property line.

For starters, how about "How many food buckets will Jim Bakker have to sell to pay back the millions of dollars he stole swindling old people."

Kool-Aid Kid said...


"Pastor bakker will never lose"

Lose what? His hair on his head? Lost that one Jimbo.

"Don't forget, he stands for all that's good in America"

The Frog would be kind of like Captain America right, but instead Jimbo would hold up a space food bucket instead of a shield.

"I was flicking through the channel guide on the TV"

I hope that's all you were flicking zombie.

"his shows are seen on about 5 different stations with Verizon on the east coast."

You counted 5 zombie??? Hold everything!!! You can be another math professor for Bakker's fake school. We found lots today.

Anonymous said...


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