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Sunday, February 12, 2012

Jim Bakker celebrates 2,000th episode with Idol Worship, part two

This is part two. Click here to read part one of Jim Bakker celebrates 2,000th episode with Idol Worship.

Statue: 'Don't you drop me you assholes!'
A commercial for Lori's House plays. They're asking for a thousand-dollar love gift. This is all pre-produced by the way, it's not live. Lori tells us that Lori's House is about giving mothers a place to live and a place to learn a trade. How in the hell is this going to work? Is Lori going to have pregnant women shipped in from around the country to live at her commune, to be brainwashed and possibly re-impregnated by Jim? This is sounding more and more like Jonestown all the time. The commercial continues with audio of one of Philip Cameron's Moldovan girls crying. Jim is selling us on the Lori's House love gift, telling us that we'll get a Builder's Club card which allows us 24 gifts, but at a max rate of 2 per visit. I love it Jim! People give you $1,000 to build Lori's House, and in return you give them a card for 24 horribly cheap gifts...yet restrict them from getting all their gifts at once. Damn you're good!

A nervous Hedgehog Zombie prays for Jim's statue
The commercial's not over yet. More crying from Philip St Cameron's girls, and now fat Zach is doing a voice over for Jim outlining the different methods of payment available. You can donate through the Morningside phone number, you can donate through the website, or you can write a letter. That's right, even if you're so poor that you can't afford a telephone or computer, Jim Bakker is happy to take your money. Just send him a check and he'll cash it, easy as pie. Don't even bother writing your own, just endorse your social security checks on over to Jim. What a nice man that Pastor Bakker!

Is Grandma Maxine being exploited by Jim Bakker?

Commercial is over and we're back to suspense after the cable slip. Everything is fine of course, but Jim's students are learning how to deceive the audience with crafty editing and background music. We see a couple nervous zombies in the crowd, biting their lips and holding their hands together in prayer while the statue hangs in mid-air. As the cable slip is replayed from a different angle, Grandma Maxine is shown with a look on her face as if she just crapped herself.

Jailbird Jim and Mondo the Illiterate are discussing the beauty of the statue and describing the way the cable slipped. Where the cable earlier lay across the statue's collar, it has now pulled all the way up and looks like a hangman's noose around the beast's neck.

Jim's gargoyle being hung at the gallows
I'm confused: Was this particular Jesus crucified, or was it lynched, Pastor Bakker? Perhaps Jim can write a new book for the bible that includes his very own idol, the Anti Jesus, being hung at the gallows for our sins?
Jim Bakker reading from his self-authored Bakker Bible.

[Jim Bakker] "Turn with me if you will now to the Book of Mondo, chapter 10 verse 33.
 Jim's voice rises to a shout:

[JB] "And they will condemn Him to death and deliver Him to the Gentiles, to be hung by the neck until which time that his natural life does expire, God rest his soul".

I'm waiting for this sucker's head to be yanked off by the cable. What would Jim do I wonder? I think we can all safely say that all bets are on the table if that were to happen. I personally imagine Jim prostrating himself on the ground and weeping loudly.

"You have hereby been sentenced to death by hanging..."
They've adjusted the cable and now everything is safe. Kevin, Charlene the Stinkbug, Lori and Zach all talk about how beautiful the statue is, and we see Grandma Maxine wiping tears from her eyes with a tissue. as the statue touches down. In studio, 'Hallelujah' plays over the sound system as the zombies applaud. Grandma Maxine continues wiping tears away. She's probably the biggest donor for this statue effort, something she would likely be told to 'keep secret between the two of us so that people don't get the wrong idea'. Grandma Moneybags is seated up front in the VIP section and is completely cocooned in a blanket. Since the lifting operation required the crane, the doors are still off the building so it's probably about 20 degrees inside Morningside. The old bags are freezing to death in there. Every time we see Moneybags, she's squirming around inside her cotton cocoon like a butterfly preparing to break free. Maybe she's rubbing her hands and arms together to make heat?

Classy Jim, real classy
Uh oh, looks like there was a problem placing the statue on the floor the first time. Jim's talking to another worker zombie about how to fix the tilt on the thing. Apparently it can't be fixed, because the original designer of Morningside was either cross-eyed or stupid and didn't make the walls even, which means that Morningside is irregularly-shaped. According to Jim, there's no 'center of things'. Jim decides that the best move is to have the idol centered on the fake steeple and chapel facade that he has plastered on the wall.

A near-frozen Grandma Maxine cries tears of icicles
Jim said the statue is valued at a 'quarter million dollars', but he picked it up on the cheap for $35,000. Then he said that all the people who donated, 'with their names there' on the base, gave on average only five dollars. You already showed us the plaque, Jim, and there definitely was not seven thousand names on it. Are you lying just a little bit there, Pastor? Just a small one, to get people who can't afford the big donations to chip in just a little bit today? Hey, what they don't know won't hurt them... isn't that right Pastor?

Jim Bakker and his cast of villains
For the video piece's finale, we get a music video. How Great Thou Art plays while the camera fades in and out on the statue from different angles, sorta like you see with nice floats at the Rose Parade. As the song crescendos to its peak, we see a closeup of Grandma Maxine crying to really drive home the point that she was likely the biggest donor for this statue, then a wide shot of Jim Bakker and his goon squad standing together clapping in slow motion. They're assembled like villains in a movie. Two ex-cons, a pair of fat guys and a couple'a whores. Kevin's superpower is binge eating, while Lori has the power to abort her own babies at any time or place. Skeeter Graham can fly and clack Morse Code with her teeth. Mondo has the ability to escape from any prison and Zach has dual sex organs that allow him to impregnate himself and give birth to more Zachs. And the evil boss at the center, Jim Bakker, has the dangerous power of mind control. Anyone of low intelligence is completely overcome by his powers and immediately gives him what he wants. And as we can see, when Jim Bakker wanted a statue, Jim Bakker got a statue.

Jim Bakker petting his Golden Calf
Now Jim calls for prayer to his carved idol. He and his goons assemble around the base of the gargoyle and lay hands on it. Inbreds in the audience stretch their arms out towards it. Jim has one hand on a foot, the other on a leg. Lori moans along with his prayer. Now Jim is patting around on the statue and telling it that “we bind anything that could even possibly be from its trip”. I suggest that you just bind the entire statue Jim, the whole thing is unholy. Jim tells God that he gives the statue to Him. What would God want with your unholy idol, Jim, other than to destroy it and all who worship it?

Jim Bakker speaking to his Golden Calf
Bakker's still reciting his incantation to the idol. He's hunched over like an old sorcerer, and I think it would be really cool if he took his dark hood and pulled it over his head now for effect. He could just make something up to justify it with the zombies, something like, 'This is how they prayed in Jesus' time.' Then he could just shroud his head with the hood to cast his face in shadow. I wonder if Jim's eyes would glow hellfire-red from within the hood? He's still patting around on the gargoyle's feet and sort of rocking back and forth. During his prayer, Jim tells us that the idol is dedicated to God, this “beautiful replica of our Lord and Savior”. Now he looks up towards the face of the idol as he prays to it.

Grandma Maxine braves the bone-chilling indoor weather
During Jim's prayer to the gargoyle, he mentions a few times that its purpose is to draw people to Morningside. He says that God gave him an image of cars backed up on the highway as people drive to see it. I wonder if Jim will place a little donation box near the statue for people to insert their cash and checks? Or maybe a pool surrounding the statue for people to flip coins into? Jim could force a Master's Media kid to don scuba gear and rake the pool bottom every week as part of their important curriculum. Just don't pick a fat one, they'll just float the whole time.

We're now a good five minutes into the evil Wizard's prayer to his idol. Another shot of the zombies with hands outstretched, minus Granny Max who is still completely enveloped in her snuggy cocoon and dabbing tears from her eyes. Maybe the tears are coming from embarrassment as she tries to control herself from shivering and clacking her teeth?

Zombies pray to Bakker's idol as Granny Max hunkers down
Jim wraps up his prayer by looking up at the statue and addressing it directly as 'you'. The background music swells and everyone applauds for the idol. With the idol firmly in place for inbreds to gawk at, the show returns live.

Bakker reads a dispatch from Rick Joyner, who is probably prepping the inbreds for an upcoming Jim Bakker Show appearance for him to sell books. Joyner says the upcoming years will likely be the best years of our lives, and Jim agrees, saying “This could be your best years.” Immediately following, Bakker states that, “I believe things are going to happen that's literally going to bring America to her knees.” You're saying two completely contradictory things here Jim and you can't have it both ways, at least not on my blog.

Joyner: 'My name's Rick, but all my friends call me Goober.'
Can we all agree that 'the best years' would not be spent eating slop out of foodbuckets? And why should we send you money to build Lori's House if America is going to be brought to her knees? Won't there be other far more pressing concerns for us than whatever cockamamie new building project you have slated?

Bakker peddles more fear through Rick Joyner's words. If you've never seen Rick Joyner before, I'll describe him for you. He looks like an idiot that just hunched himself out of a cave and learned how to make fire. I'm convinced of two things: Rick Joyner's brain is the size of a walnut, and Rick Joyner shits his pants at least once a week. Yet, this country bumpkin' makes a lot of money off the inbreds through his use of big words and ambiguous prophecy. He's another one of these guys like Jim Bakker who looks so stupid and pathetic as a man that people refuse to believe that he would rip them off. Our criminals are usually much scarier looking, so when some doofus comes around with a smile, a lame joke and a tic-tac, the inbreds eat it up like biscuits-and-gravy.

Rick Joyner before discovering civilization
Joyner says things like, “Key civilization markers are pointing to this year being one of the great demarcation points in history. Major changes are inevitable.” Big scary words for the 'breds to gulp down, but in reality this goober's not really saying anything of substance. He's just peddling fear like his pal Bakker in order to keep book sales up and speaking engagements booked. And just like Jim, Rick Joyner can never stop selling his scary stories, because to do so would put him right out of business. Isn't that right, Rick? If world peace were declared tomorrow, with all disease and famine obliterated from the earth, Rick Joyner would still be peddling his phony prophecies and doom-speak. It's the only job this pea-brained mountain man knows how to do, and whether it's honest or not is beside the point because Rick Joyner has mouths to feed. And judging by his big belly, it looks like the first bite always goes to himself. Ricky boy, do the world a favor: Go back to your cave, roll your big round boulder back in front of the entrance, and never come out again. If we need to hear from you, we'll knock.

'Alright fellas, time to start milking the statue!'
Time to start milking the statue. With all zombie eyes now firmly fixed on their flickering, rabbit-eared television screens, Jim's back with The Harbinger DVD set for $55 and telling us what a big seller it is. He really crows about how many sales this thing has had. He said the first printing was 200,000 copies, and jokingly brags “And I ordered most of them!” Jim continues stroking his own ego, telling us that he's responsible for bringing this book to the masses. The DVD set, he adds, cannot be purchased anywhere else because it includes tapings from his show. Jim turns to Zach, who has now become his go-to fat guy for any questions on product. Zach gives a quick breakdown of what's in the set in case the people at home are illiterate and can't read the on-screen graphic for themselves. And really, do Bakker's zombies even care what's in the box? Jim could send them a lump of coal and they'd be happy.

Jim staked his ministry on Harbinger DVDs
Jim just turned his sales pitch up, way up. He and Lori both are saying that we absolutely have to read this book. In his words, “I'll stake my ministry, Lori...I'll stake my life. In my lifetime, this is the most important message I've ever delivered on television.” That's interesting, Pastor Bakker, because shouldn't the most important message you've ever delivered on television be the Gospel of Jesus Christ? Are you sure you aren't staking your soul on this claim? He goes even further. “I believe I was born for this moment, to put the Rabbi on television.” So in other words, you're saying that you were born to be a sleazy salesman? A person adept at manipulating people, to cause them to believe that they are so very smart for buying your shitty products? Let's be honest here Jim. Aren't you just doing all of this so that you can cash other peoples' checks and make a living? Can we agree on that, Mr Serpent?

Jim Bakker, grave-robber
Jim must have gotten a killer volume deal on this book. Bakker doesn't dwell on things that aren't making money, and he's announced that he's replaying Rabbi Cahn's shows yet again over the next few weeks. Is he going on another vacation? Whoops, now he has a deal for Two Harbinger DVD sets for $100, a savings of ten bucks over just buying one. Why would you do that, Jim? Why are you charging people more for one than for two? Is that honest? You sir, are a scumbag.

Ooh, and now Jim's spicing it up a bit with thrilling video of an airliner full of people slamming into the World Trade Center. And there's one of the towers, full of people, collapsing. Nice Jim! Hey, you have any video of dead babies or something similarly shocking that can be used to sell your goddamn books?

Jim Bakker profiting off 9/11
The Serpent's forked tongue is tasting the air, seeing how many wicked lies it can spew forth today, how much deception can fill the air before it spontaneously bursts into flame. Bakker refers to things ending this year. “So many calendars end this year” he says, and “So many well-known prophets of generations say this is the end of things this year”. Bakker is trying to scare us. Then the Snake, staring into the camera with its beady, soulless eyes, reassures us that “It's not the end of the world.” In the same venomous breath, the Bakker Snake is telling us that the world is ending this year, and that it is not ending this year. And all this twisting of words is designed for one purpose: to sell product.

Jim Bakker, you are a disgusting, pathetic human being. You are the predator that slimes his way into peoples' confidence, only to then rifle through their wallets when they aren't looking. You cheated on your wife, banged Jessica Hahn, then to cover up your actions you paid her hundreds of thousands of dollars of hush money which was donated to you by well-meaning people. You oversold condos, knowingly and willfully, thinking that people would not catch on. But when they did, your entire scheme came crumbling down, and with it all the money that people gave you in confidence. Where is your private jet now, asshole? Where is the air-conditioned doghouse? Remember when you had two different sets of accounting books, so that you could hide all of your illegal activities from the IRS?

Hey Jim, hide under a desk in prison and see what happens!
During your trial, do you remember when you hid in your lawyer's office, under his desk to be precise, to pretend to be crazy and try and connive your way out of answering for your crimes? But you weren't crazy were you Jim, you knew exactly what you were doing all along. What sort of childish, undignified person concocts a plan to hide from reality under a desk? And when you finally realized that your idiotic plan wasn't going to work, and that you were in fact going to prison, you cried like a little girl for her mommy out of complete, unadulterated fear of what might happen to your manhood. I hope a lot of things happened to it, Jim.

Jim and Zach team up to sell us miniature gargoyles
I hope you wake up every night in a cold sweat, crying and sniveling to Lori or whatever other horrid creature lies next to you in bed. That's because you are an opportunistic rat, a person who takes advantage of those who are incapable of taking care of themselves. You're the kind of greasy subhuman that would cavort with an old lady simply to weasel your name into her will. The kind of animal that would rip the gold teeth off a corpse when nobody's looking. Yes, you were born a runt. Yes, you are physically revolting. But we all face challenges in life Jim, and many people with those same ego handicaps grow into stellar people. But you? You've sold your soul to be a lowly, pathetic foodbucket shark who strikes fear into the hearts of old ladies on a daily basis through lies and deception, with the sole purpose of making money for yourself. How in the world do you sleep at night?

'Our next item up for bid is a fabulous recreation of Christ...'
The sales aren't over yet. Bakker is selling a miniature statue of Jesus for $100, or three can be purchased at a discounted $200. Zach, his ego and waistband growing by the minute, tells us that this is the 'Crazy About Jesus' offer. Maybe change the name to 'Crazy About Money' offer?

Jim turns to a larger 18" statue placed over near Kevin Shorey. He asks Kevin to hoist it up for him. This one costs $1,000 and allows the buyer to have their name engraved at the base of the gigantic gargoyle Jim just erected. Kevin and Lori both look ashamed as they hold up the statue for Jim as he describes it. Good, you should be ashamed. You're ripping off old people by telling them the world is ending and they need to buy your survival food when you both know that simply isn't true. You don't even practice what you preach, in fact you never have. Why are you asking for money to construct buildings? Why are you taking money for cd sales? Don't you know the world's ending? You need foodbuckets!

Shorey sings as the Strangler lurks in the background
Now Kevin's given time to grunt out his Valley Walker song from in front of the Country Bear Jamboree. Kevin is singing from a musical track so the hack musicians in the back have nothing to do but pretend to play their instruments and smile, or not smile if you're Joey, the Morningside Strangler. He's the guitarist in the back who looks like a serial killer, and I think he's a little pissed off that he's playing air guitar right now. Throughout the entire song, he wears a scowl on his face while the overhead lights shine down on his greasy, bald head. It looks like he's scouring the audience for single, unattended men or women...people that nobody would miss if they suddenly disappeared. In front of Joey sits the pencil-necked bass player who actually seems to enjoy playing musical charades with Kevin. He wears a leather vest, an outback hat, and a too-broad smile on his face which screams 'simpleton' to me. Something is up with his eyes. Either one is lazy, both are crossed, or the guy is blind. Mr Bass Player, a word of advice: If Joey beckons you into his van to check out his new 8-track


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Buddy's Buddy said...

Dear February 27, 2012 1:23 PM Zombie, answer the questions.

Anonymous said...

To the guy who commented that Jessica Hahn was hot. Not Really, actually she was a pretty "Plain Jane" when all this hit the fan. As a result of that "hush money" paid out by PTL she was able to undergo a lot of cosmetic surgery. After that surgery, she got offers from Playboy, Howard Stern and others.

Anonymous said...

To Ron,

Thanks for giving me your email address. I sent a message to it.

Brother Dortch said...

Now over 600 responses here and...

not so much as one Bakker supporter anywhere cares to discuss the topic of "Kevin's House" or cares to answer my appeal question which can quickly be answered in one short sentence.

And now a YouTube video promo for the "college" (?) that fails to mention anywhere in it that the "college" is run by Jim Bakker. Is this an accident?

Ladies & Gentlemen, YOU be the judge!

Kool-Aid Kid said...


The picture just above the blog's vistor counter of Jim Bakker fake crying is absolutely priceless! You might someday consider including this right under it:

"Well he has giveing over 1million $ to girls home in Moldova to help girls who are sex trafficked.....what have you done?"

Anonymous said...

I like Jim Bakker more then Ted Haggard. At least Bakker uses some imagination in his lies.

Joe C Blue eye, Missouri said...

I spent the afternoon at the Stone County Courthouse. I would like to state that anything that I post on here is public record and I will not knowingly state anything I do not know to be fact. According to Missouri Department of Revenue, a boat was purchased by Morningside Church in May of 2011.Vin # TJC46060L102. Title # PS871603. License # MO9108FN14.

Joe C Blue eye, Missouri said...

2144 Pokeberry Lane, Lampe, Missouri is also listed as owned by Morningside Church. I was given a list of all properties owned by Morningside and also a list of all vehicles owned my Morningside that are registered with the state.

Anonymous said...

Oh big deal, a row boat!!

Joe C said...

I think I am beginning to piss people off. Just had a Mayor hang up on me.

Joe C said...

A 23 foot row boat. Hmmm.

Joe C, troll said...

I guess my biggest question would be, do the hard working people that have sent their money know the money was spent on a boat???

Kelsey said...

Good work, Joe. I'm following all of this with interest. Good luck.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

All the best Joe.

Joe C Troll in training said...

I would like to add to my post @ 5:26. Mr Kerns called me back and stated his phone cut out. I retract my previous post. It may have been an inadvertent statement. I do believe there may have been an interruption of phone service. We did speak in length about things pertaining to Morningside. I feel the conversation ended with a mutual agreement that any more questions would be refered to the lawyers.

Anonymous said...

Would it be rude for me to ask if anybody belongs to a church that owns a 23 foot boat? If so,how is said boat used to spread the word of the Lord???

Anonymous said...

Came across this youtube Morningside "End Of Days" foodbucket ad. I imagine most of you people here have seen it but for those that haven't it's totally laughable.

The beginning of this Jim Bakker ad has loads of images of natural and hollywood film disaster clips. At one point near the beginning of the ad you see a movie clip of a city falling into the ocean then the scene fades to a fat man in an ill fitting suit with no tie on a deck positioned in front of one of the ugliest potted plants I've ever seen. Totally wrong!!!!

Anonymous said...

Who can blame poor Lori for needing to keep herself in an altered state of consciousness (high) in order to deal with her windbag husband long rants...I mean sermons. According to the egotist himself, the sermon went on for more than five hours one day. Only way to deal with the tedium is to keep nice and buzzed. Can't say I blame her. I think the students are given instructions that while they are sitting behind the windbag droning on ad nauseum, they need to keep smiling and nodding their heads like bobbles. They are told not to fidget or look bored. I get bored watching two minutes of this narcissist
Poor exploited kids. This is considered education? To be forced to listen to this dribble for hours on end?

Anonymous said...

Austin Miles, a former minister and frequent PTL guest, says he once feared that the ministry was about to collapse after watching Bakker plead for money. Miles remembers asking a PTL official, " 'How did you get over that financial crisis?' Without changing expressions, he said, 'Oh, there wasn't really a crisis at all. We had money all along; it was just in another account. . . . It just gave people something to rally around.' "

Brother Dortch said...


I strongly agree with Kool Aid Kid!
Please go to the picture of Jim fake crying, above the hit counter, and place this directly underneath it:

"Well he has giveing over 1million $ to girls home in Moldova to help girls who are sex trafficked.....what have you done?"

James Chapman (Jim's Grandson)
Blue Eye, MO 8-3-11

And to all the rest of you:

Don't think I have forgotten about that church bought boat. You'll be hearing more from me about that very shortly. Thanks!

Awaiting The Sex Scandal said...

Hey Ron!

You may want to add this to it too:

James Chapman
(Jim's Grandson
& College Teacher at his College)

Blue Eye, MO 8-3-11

It would be nice to let future students know, in advance, what they are getting themselves into!

Tanya said...


That went about how I thought it would - if you read my comment on Feb 26th @ 2:42pm I predicted we would see a lot of 'anonymous' comments calling us trolls.

And look - since my last visit here, about 18 hours, I counted 19 comments that did exactly that (may have missed some, it was a quick count).

1. 3:31pm - yes, I am aware that I did not create the term "internet trolling" - my point was that I was not going to try to reason with any of you, because I felt reasoning would not work.

2. Your own behaviour (the Bakker-supporters) shows us that my original post was accurate - you have learned a new word that you enjoy, and you have been using it over and over - no substance, concrete information, or answers to any of the specific questions posed earlier.

3. Your own behaviour (the Bakker-supporters) is that of a "troll." If you get your kicks by coming to a blog, NOT reading the comments, and only pointing your finger at others and calling them trolls, well, continue to amuse yourself - just acknowledge that you are practicing the behaviour that you are condemning.

But I do want to point out that we have seen learning for perhaps the first time. In the comments of Ron's blog we have discussed how higher eduction works, what people need to get jobs, the nature of Bakker's Media program, Bakker's own history, social history (e.g., the saying "drink the Kool-Aid"), the basics of critical thinking, the contradictions between what Bakker says and what he does... nothing stuck, and nothing got a relevant response (still waiting for the answer to Brother D's question - name one Media student who has employment in the field).

But, the use of the word "troll" has been jumped on with glee. Something is sparking in those neural pathways. That's better than nothing, perhaps.

Especially if you are going to keep singling people out, how about you Bakker-supporters pick a screen name and stick with it? It really is ridiculous to post as "anonymous" and then just write that so-and-so is a troll.

Tanya said...

Joe C: concrete information - exactly what the Bakker-supporters asked for! And look - it took only minutes for an "anonymous" to come on and minimize/rationalize it - "Oh big deal, a row boat!! (4:47pm)" They say they want information, but they reject it immediately.
Best of luck - and thanks for passing the information along.

Anonymous said...

to 3.23pm,
I said have you seen the nude photos. These were from the PB mag and after the all the surgery. Don't think there were nude photos of her before that. And when I said she was hot, I was referring to the time the photos were taken vice now.

Anonymous said...

Joe C, let me throw this out there. You have the attention of folks in the area. They know you are looking around and are reporting back to this blog. If the mayor sees that you said he hung up on you, then maybe he wants this reported differently. Then again, in hillbillyville the cell phones might indeed suck. I think you are smart stating what you know as fact or as rumor.

Anonymous said...

Jim paid Hawn $300K+ because of sex. Now he gave $1m to girls coming out of the sex trade. What is with this guy and giving money when sex is some how involved?

Anonymous said...

Good grief, do we really need to discuss the Jessica Hahn? Suffice to Say Jim has never been attracted to decent women.

A zombie compares Jim's speed boat to a row boat! Go look at the pictures of it @ the Jim Bakker show website. Surprise, Surprise the zombies really are deaf, dumb, and blind. They are like the little moneys that cover their ears and eyes, so they can hear no evil, and see no evil. Now if they would only cover their mouths and speak no evil!

Kelsey said...

"The Junk Man" on the JBS yesterday was so awesomely bad! Junk Man was trying to alert us to some happenings in government, but Jim said, "we can't get political here - they'll put me away again!"

Oh Ron, I hope you get a chance to see that episode and comment on it! What a gem!!

Troll said...

Check out Bakker at about 1:33 of this clip. What the hell is he doing?

No Nonsense Norski said...

Yup, We saw the Junk Man too.

Did you catch when he inserted a Brita Water Filter into a cut-off plastic liter bottle and said something about needing clean water in the End Times?

Jim just passed over that one like a greased pig.

Gettin' a little too close to the Seychelle Water Man's ideas, there, Mr. Junk Man!

...and the Dumpster Diving Birthday Girl in the audience?

Pure Class@

Junk Man is scheduled to be on out here for two more days. Can't wait to see his other ideas.

Brother Dortch said...

Many of you have heard me mention here in the past that, exactly like at PTL, a boat is docked behind the “parsonage” in which Bakker and his family reside. To hear Bakker tell it, it is simply a “cabin” that he goes to for recreational purposes only, but one look at the Google satellite photo of this “cabin” clearly shows anyone who cares to look that, as usual, what Bakker is saying is false. Now, thanks to a public record check by Joe C, it has been confirmed that this boat was purchased for Bakker by the church. Do you see now, why this blog is attracting more comments, in one blog posting only, than the other Bakker blogs have had in the history of their entire life (years) on the net? The shenanigans behind what really goes on with the public airing of this daily fraud fest, one sees on television, clearly points to the fact that Bakker’s days are numbered. While Bakker says a lot, just as important here, is what he does not say. He has kept his mouth shut about the indoor swimming pool recently built at the compound and he has kept his mouth shut, except once, about the full disclosure or total transparency or however he chose to phrase it when I heard him talk about all the openness and honesty of funds being raised for “Stella’s House”. This is another fraud waiting to be disclosed. Can any one person, regardless of who you are, point me in the direction of exactly where I can go to see the full amount of money taken in for Bakker’s “Stella’s House” campaign and show me exactly how the funds were spent? I’ll bet you one bucket of freeze dried pinto beans, one of Bakker’s favorite things, you cannot! And now, here we have a 23 foot pleasure craft which one would have to be mentally deficient to objectively look at and not see it as anything but a gross misuse of church funds.

Jim Bakker, you are a liar. You are a con artist and you are a total and complete fraud. While you are “fake crying” on TV, saying we are in the last days and begging for money, you no sooner let the cameras get turned off until you place yourself in one of your offices and probably dare someone, under your employ, to deny you the pleasure craft you desire, under the risk of losing their job because it is more important for you to tour the lake than it is to pay your taxes.

"Woe is me!" you had better say,
when that federal Crown Victoria
comes and takes you away.

You think so? said...

I don't think he's faking the tears there. Didn't he just get hit with some heavy jail time when that photo was snapped? No, I think that was one of the rare times when those tears were the real deal.

Brother Dortch said...

What you are seeing on the above mentioned video is "The Gloryland Choir" under the direction of two of the "students" father, Cedric Hayes, which was, for this conference only, renamed "The Masters Media Choir" so that it appears as though the choir is part of the Masters Media program when, in reality, nothing can be further from the truth. As usual for Bakker, one more falsehood and scam that most attendees of the conference will either be too disinterested or too stupid to investigate and discover, for themselves, what the real truth is.

Speaking of the REAL TRUTH: Morningside Church has no youth program at all. All Masters Media "students" attend The Harvest Assembly, a non-Bakker and non-Morningside church which has a youth program and the Morningside Church, itself...the last I being preached to by un-ordained pastor, Zach Drew, whose infamous sermon concerning The Bible and its "secret codes" has become a classic reference on this blog.

Anonymous said...

I went to the link cited a few posts above regarding the Gloryland/Master's Media Choir. This is what is posted underneath the video:

"Our 4-week old choir gave its first ever performance on Saturday, February 25, 2012 to an International Audience at Master's Commission Epoch Conference. Not many wanted to hear it, but no one wanted us to stop once we got going!"

This is NOT a four week old choir! They performed on the JB Show a few months ago. The fact that a handful of Master's Media students stepped onstage doesn't make the entire choir only 4 weeks old!

Brother Dortch said...

The Gloryland Choir, as correctly noted by the above blogger, is NOT four-weeks old! They have been a guest on Bakker's show before and are prominently featured in the Bakker Show's opening edits. Cedric Hayse's two daughters, named Harmony and Melody, are "students" at the "college". Go to YouTube to see this choir performing live in the year 2008! Does that sound like a four-week old choir to you?

If this is religion, count me out! said...

Brother Dortch,

I am so glad that you pointed out the latest scam Jim is perpetuating to promote his fraud school, "The Gloryland Choir"! Jim is devoid of a conscience. He has his kids join in with another church's choir, and then calls it his own Master's choir.

I am amazed at the depth of depravity of Jim and company. Those complicit with Jim in defrauding the old folks, and feeble of brain, should be sent to prison with him.

To the people out at Morningside you have a front row seat to this spectacle. You know what's going on, you see Jim is a big liar, you all can't be that dumb! If any of you had a conscience, you would be speaking out with the rest of us, instead of attacking us. You think you are on a moral high ground because you have some form of religion. Your religiosity makes this whole debacle even worse! I want nothing to do with a God that is ok with all the deceit that comes out of the Bakker camp! Keep your religion!

a disgusted viewer said...

Brother Dortch,

Thank you for the link to the You Tube siteon the choir. I viewed the Masters "4 week old" choir.

I have a few questions for you since you seem to have a good grasp of all things Bakker. What is the age frame to be enrolled in the Masters program? Do those little ones in the front row seem to be of college age? Are my old eyes going blind, they seem very young to me! In the middle row, and center, is a man named Theron Ventura. Is he enrolled in the Masters Media program? I thought he and his wife were assigned to some position of leadership in the Masters program. I believe the position has something to do with watching those kids so there are no more sex scandals!

Joe C Blue eye, Missouri said...

I would like to sum things up. Stone County Planning and Zoning would have no oversight of Lori's House if the land is annexed into Morningside. Blue eye, Missouri has no inspectors to oversee any construction. Jim stated on air that this facility would have medical services available. After just speaking to a woman with The Southern Stone County Fire Protection district, they would be responsible for oversight of Hydrants, sprinkler systems etc. I have been told by three seperate Government entities within the last three days that if this land is indeed annexed into morningside, there is not a local, state, or even a federal entity that will oversee this project. Next stop, Stone County Health Department. Was there not an issue with kevins house about not being properly equipped for it's intended use??

Brother Dortch said...

The average age of Masters Media "students" is right out of high school to the early 20's. Theron Ventura is the Bakker's director of the college to do paperwork, etc. for the program while Bakker, himself, actually runs it completely out of his whims and his fleeting thoughts of the moment. Bakker says that one of the "curses" of youth today is that they are not going to church and are not educated. A REAL college has an approved course syllabus for each course offered, but no...we don't need that at Morningside! Absolutely not! That is why actual MORNINGSIDE MASTERS MEDIA COLLEGE TEACHERS write such wisdom as this:

"Well he has giveing over 1million $ to girls home in Moldova to help girls who are sex trafficked.....what have you done?"

Andrew, Bakker's Vice President of Media in charge of broadcasting also had a distinguised career immediately prior to working for Bakker: cutting grass with a lawnmower and weed wacker!

Brother Dortch said...

Joe C.,

The issue, aside from stolen money, with "Kevin's House" was, that in order to be a "Group Home" you must meet certain building codes that are applicable to cripped children's homes everywhere. Bakker did NOT meet these codes and a judge ruled that Kevin could no longer live at the house because it did not meet the building codes and was not licensed properly as a "Group Home" for handicapped children as Bakker told viewers it would be. Kevin and his immediate family only had been living in the home and then sued Bakker after being evicted.

Joe C Blue eye, Missouri said...

Thank you Brother Dortch

Brother Dortch said...

Joe C.,

It has been alleged that the initial "Kevin's House" didn't even have an elevator in it meaning that Kevin could not even go to the upstairs, where the bedrooms were, without being carried up the stairs by someone else.

During the final days of PTL, after Bakker left, I have heard that an elevator may have been put in and some codes may have been brought up to date but, since no money was available to run the home, Kevin could not come back and live there. Kevin, in his lawsuit, claimed that he stood side by side with Bakker on television and raised over 3 million dollars for this home and, whether PTL was solvent or not, should have the use of those funds to continue operation of the home. However, since the funds that were raised for the home were misappropriated and used for completely other purposes, the financial well ran dry and Kevin was forced to go back to his family's home in Michigan which they had been renting out. The raising of funds for one purpose and then the use of those funds for another completely different purpose is a violation of federal wire and mail fraud laws and the debacle of "Kevin's House" was just one of the matters that landed Jim in prison.

Update to today: Bakker has stated on live TV that the raising of funds for "Stella's House" was an effort in which full disclosure was taking place. I, personally, heard him say that, or words to that exact same effect, on live television. This is a lie. You cannot have full disclosure when Bakker's church organization does not have ANY public disclosure at all. Once again, he is playing on the stupid and dumb who will believe him blindly.

Have you EVER, even once, heard Bakker get on TV and ask for funds for a $300,000+ "cabin" on the lake or a 23 foot boat? How about an indoor swimming pool at the cost of $60,000? How about new vehicles for both him and the wife? Both the "cabin" and boat were purchased with church money and it has been alleged here, by a Morningside insider, that the swimming pool was built with church money too which is, obviously, why Bakker announced his intentions to build the pool (once) and then did not raise funds for it on TV because it was not in keeping with his "End Times" campaign.

It is my opinion that federal wire and fraud laws are being violated as we speak now. Obviously, Bakker is lying on television. One day he announced that the school had totally run out of money and, within about two weeks after that, purchased all new equipment for a brand new school studio and began a new building campaign to enlarge the "Tabernacle" to place a high definition television studio in it for the students to use for the unaccredited program. The school had not run out of money at all--that was pure B.S.

Just as The Charlotte Observer did when they won The Pulitzer Prize for their reporting that brought down PTL, another media outlet is going to eventually get sick and tired of hearing these lies on TV and seeing the Bakker's excesses sprout up again and Bakker and his wife and mother-in-law will be in very hot water and I don't mean the water in the lake behind the off-compound "parsonage".

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Jim Bakker takes selfish advantage of circumstances with little regard to what the consequences are for others.

Kevin's House, as Brother Dortch as explained, is but one example of
Bakker's greed for money and fame.

Bakker taking credit for "The Gloryland Choir" is again an example of where he can make the most gains for Mr. Jim Bakker at the least cost to himself.

I have said this before and will repeat myself again. Mr Bakker did not have the internet to deal with back in his and Tammy's PTL days but he has to deal with it now.

Cockroaches do not like light. Bakker will not like Ron's blog.

Joe C Blue eye, Missouri said...

I just received an e-mail from Mr. Jerry Jones. I will be meeting Mr. Bakker at 3 p.m. on Thursday.

disgusted viewer said...

Thank you Brother Dortch,

Your input on the choir was helpful.

Joe C great job researching the building codes and requirements. Not surprised to hear they are lax. Jesus was left outside for awhile because the floor inside wouldn't hold him. They had to figure a way for the foundation to carry the weight of the marble. How is the foundation holding up those condos? I wouldn't feel comfortable living there!

Brother Dortch and Joe C, you guys are good. The IRS could use a couple smart guys like you!

You da man!!! said...

Good luck on your meeting Joe C.. Some helpful hints: Don't go in there like you own the place and don't read the riot act to Jim, behave like a gentleman, you can catch more flies with honey. You need Jim more then he needs you. Be honest, tell him that you're going to report the results of the meeting on this site, use that as your "ace in the hole". Odds are Jim knows how you've been bad mouthing him so you might want to take a shot of Jack before the meeting but don't let Jim smell the booze on your breath. Don't be throwing figures like one million dollars around, he'll think your either drunk or nuts. Good luck, can't wait to hear your reports.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Joe C,

Are you going to the compound by yourself or are you taking along a lawyer?

Anonymous said...

Yes, Brother Dorch and Joe C. are good!.....................................GOOD FOR NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!

Kool-Aid Kid said...


"Foodbucket On Youtube" is a great addition to an already amazing blog site.


Kool-Aid Kid said...

Anon @ 1212pm

Chill Mr. Bakker.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

OMG!!! The Foodbucket Youtube clip of Grandma Maxine being spoonfeed by the frog is so very funny! Now I can watch it anytime I need a big laugh. Thanks Ron

Butt bucket said...

Hey Mr. Joe C.. If Bakker asks you if you're the Joe C. who's been saying nasty things about him on this forum just tell him that that must be a different Joe C. and you know nothing about it. Otherwise, I doubt if the meeting will do much good. I mean you gotta be realistic!! Would you help your enemy??

Put Jimbo in the slammer said...

Joemama, first ask Jimbo if you could record the conversation and if he says no, make sure you take good notes and report back to us everything that was said. Dont let the mindless bobbleheads stop you from your mission!

Awaiting The Sex Scandal said...

I would have a digital recorder on my body that lasts for hours and would record the entire conversation, whether he likes it or not, starting from the first moment I entered the mall.

Anonymous said...

agree with awaiting

jim bakker will no doubt be recording the whole thing too just like richard "tricky dick" nixon did.

Absolutely not Joe said...

NO don't ask him that. Never ask to be able to record, there goes any smatter of trust. I mean how would you feel if you were filing an insurance claim and the adjuster ask if he could record your remarks. Your better off going in with a witness that's all you need. Bakker would be nuts to let you record and he would be right to deny this. You would come across as sneaky and a trickstear.

Anonymous said...

Joe, recorded conversations work both ways, it could hurt you. Take a witness, if you say something detrimental and biased to your case what you going to do, erase that portion. Don't listen to these dumbells, no recordings for both sides. If Bakker records without your consent it is inadmissable anyways.

No Nonsense Norski said...

Am I missing something, here?

What is the purpose of Joe's visit? You don't need to answer in this arena, but it's puzzling....

Unless you're with the Attorney General's (or a representative state department office), or a private investigator, or simply want to strike a deal to sell your property to him, what on Earth are you planning on discussing?

That he's a shyster? a grifter? a liar? a thief? an egomaniacal narcissist? He already knows those things.

Joe C., can you shed some light, here, please?

Anonymous said...

No Nonsense is right: What is the meeting all about anyways? He does not need anyone to tell him he is a conman? What is there to gain?/ I don't get it.

Anonymous said...

Take Notes??? Is this a meeting or an interview??? I'm sure Bakker will oblige you and give you time to jot things down (unless you know shorthand), NOt!! I mean I'm sure his time is worth something to him too. If you need a memory enhancer take your wife with you or maybe someone from this site has guts enough to accompany you. Otherwise, you're on your own, well wishing aside means zip!!

Tanya said...

I see there's been a break in the "troll-storm" - hmm... Monday today, so I'm guessing that means on Sundays there isn't much to do at the Morningside compound.

I've been waiting for the Junk Man episode, glad to know its on its way.

Jim always glides over things that hit too close to home. In a recent episode they were talking about the furor over some new style of name-brand running shoe, crowds of people waiting to buy, people getting hurt in the crowd - and Jim got on the topic of how people in power manufacture the "hype." He got pretty pumped up: there is no shortage of tennis shoes, do you get it!?!

But then Lori suggested they have a guy on their show that they know from years ago who could explain how the "hype" gets manufactured. That had to be one of the fastest cut-offs of Lori I've seen yet. Not doing that, said Jim, we're only having people on now who give prophecies.

Jim doesn't want anyone explaining to his flock how hype and fear are generated, and how people are manipulated - his whole 'ministry' would collapse.

Anonymous said...

I checked out the twitter account from "GenerationNow" and they tweeted "Getting awesome new stuff for our condo's". Do the elderly and zombies know that their money is being used to furnish these "students" with "awesome new stuff #soexcited"? I have yet to hear Jimbo announce he is "redecorating, or whatever the new awesomeness is to his followers. I would think they would be interested since a lot of the people who send him money go without some basic needs. Why get awesome new stuff if we are in the "end times"? Hypocrites. Sad, very sad.

No Nonsense Norski said...


"Jim doesn't want anyone explaining to his flock how hype and fear are generated, and how people are manipulated - his whole 'ministry' would collapse."

YUUUUUP! You got that right!

Tanya said...

re: 6:26pm - New stuff for the students' condos? Very nice. And that is on top of Jim saying he needs to get the school building finished in 30 days. I have no idea where the 30 day time frame came from. Just another way for Jim to create pressure - there's no time, send money NOW!

No Nonsense Norski: lol!

Craig said...

Wow. The zombies have been busy. Must have found Lori's method stash and pipe....

Brother Dortch said...

Year one of the Masters Media program was the one that Bakker hated the worst and the feeling between him and the “students” was indeed mutual. They hated him back just the same and could not wait to get out of there when the program was over. Please keep in mind that two things were different back then than they are today:

1)The program, at that time, was authorized as an official Masters Commission program and that has since changed when Bakker, in a meeting with Masters founder, Lloyd Zeiglar, declined to meet up to Zeiglar’s standards by saying that, if he did, he could not control the program, himself, properly. Bakker, I’m sure, was afraid that having the kids study the Bible according to official Masters Commission standards could cause the kids not to have enough time to be slave labor for himself and thus Bakker declined participation in, and had MMC’s name removed from, the official Masters Commission authorized program charter. The Morningside Masters Commission name was subsequently removed and does NOT appear on the list of authorized Masters Commission programs. The Bakkers, however, do remain friends with Lloyd Zeiglar and that is why Bakker was allowed to attend the Masters Commission seminar the kids just got home from, in Dallas, last Sunday. Leave it to Bakker, of course, to basically steal “The Gloryland Choir” from Pastor Cedric Hayes and quickly re-name it “The Masters Media Choir” in an attempt to falsely impress the many Masters Commission program attendees into thinking that the choir is a permanent fixture of Bakker’s program at Morningside and, as such, possibly raise the attendance figures under false pretenses. Yes, it is classic J. B. for you! The existing friendship the Bakkers have with Masters Commission founder, Lloyd Zeiglar, is also why both Jim and Lori freely toss around the term “Masters Commission Students” in reference to their own program even though both of them know that this is incorrect and basically amounts to false advertising. They are able to falsely use the term because Zeiglar is not now, or would not ever, be interested in suing them. Keep in mind also that every such incorrect use of the term also gives the real Zeiglar program what amounts to free advertising and could, quite possibly, cause enrollment in other cities to increase after the young people or their parents hear this term mentioned on television.

2)During this time in the history of the “college” there, like most schools, was a definite “semester” time period in which one had to enroll before it was too late to join. Not having success with this enrollment period at all (nobody wanted to come) they then went to the “quarters” system so as to create more windows of opportunity for start and stop times to allow “students” to enroll and this also failed miserably (nobody wanted to come). Finally, last year, the semester and quarter systems were totally dropped and now, believe it or not, anybody can come and join at anytime they want! No start or stop date is required! This is, of course, blasphemy of anything that a real, authentic, professional educational institution would ever even think to allow.

Brother Dortch said...

Back to year one of the program:

The “tabernacle” had just been built by Jerry Crawford and people were bitching that no sub-floor had been installed. The wooden slat floor contained long rows of boards, with no sub-floor underneath. Therefore, bugs started literally crawling up through the floor boards and becoming residents of the tabernacle along with the students! And, speaking of the students, this holy “tabernacle” was actually a student dorm housing both boys and girls at the same time with no “House Mother” or “House Father” to chaperone. Both the boys and the girls slept on the provided bunk beds in the “tabernacle”. The boys’ rooms and girls’ rooms were separated by a sheet of drywall only with no supervision going on in there 95% of the time. Needless to say, and I know a lot of you are not going to believe this, STUDENTS STARTED HAVING SEX IN THE TABERNACLE! Can you imagine that? The “Sex in the Tabernacle” scandal quickly expanded to also include young teen girls, who were not enrolled in the program, but allegedly began having sex with some of the male students anyway. These teen girls were actually employees of Bakker’s who worked in the various other roles around Morningside. The “Sex in the Tabernacle” scandal quickly escalated into a “brag fest” that was being boasted about by the actual Masters boys themselves. By his own admission, on one of his own broadcasts, Bakker was frustrated when he told the story of this or that boy boasting “Well, I got this one” or “I had that one” or other such scorecard remarks that the young boys were obviously very proud of at that time. The problem has since been dealt with by the removal of all the female students from the “tabernacle” and the girls have now been placed in some of the unused condo rental units that are now off the rental market and are used for the express purpose of housing the girls only.

If anybody has more info to add regarding “The Sex in the Tabernacle” scandal, please leave a comment below and share!

Tanya said...

I was wondering why Jim and Lori continue to refer to their "school" as Master's Commission, seemingly whenever they feel like it. Makes sense now. And young people, living away from home, unsupervised... the Tabernacle Scandal makes sense, too. Enlightening, Brother D!

What does not make sense to me is why anyone would think "Master's" Media is a "school" or a "college." All the reasons that it is NOT a real school are contained in these comments, if the Bakker-supporters would only read them - so far it seems they would rather remain ignorant. Frankly, I find it offensive that Bakker refers to his set-up as a school.

Tanya said...

Got to see the first "Junk Man" show. Over 37 minutes of it was Jim hawking his survival crap. It had a definite infomercial vibe when they got to the new and improved winter wheat love gift. I expected Zach to say "but wait, there's more!!"

Watching the students bake bread was a treat - especially when the baker in the clip, and Lori once they cut back to the show, told the students they were proud of them. Proud of them for baking bread with step-by-step guidance? Are they 5 years old? If that is the "academic element" to the school, no wonder their so-called teachers write gems such as the one posted in above comments.

Also amusing to see the Junk Man take one dollar from Jim, put it in his pocket, then say 'look how easy it is to steal' (something along those lines). Dude, Jim Bakker knows how easy it is to steal. He really does.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

You're so right about the praise the students got for baking bread Tanya. Proud of them for what? Ridiculous. Laughable. A total Jimbo idea.

Anonymous said...

I noticed Jim does not follow GenerationNow on Twitter. I think that is so he can keep some distance from their social media activity. I don't think he would have approved of the tweet of "Getting LOADS of new stuff for our condo's #SoExcited". It is obvious they are tweeting to the kids that were at the conference and/or anyone thinking about joining the "college". Trying to impress to get new admisssions. So, does Gloryland choir keep that name during the week and switch to Masters choir for Jim's events or needs? Maybe Cedric had to give up the name Gloryland Choir in exchange for his 2 daughters, Melody and Harmony's tuition fees to Master's Media? Curious to find out how Cedric's church congregation feels about the new choir or rather losing theirs. I am sure his church has paid for all the robes, etc. Hopefully they didn't have to pay for the recent Dallas trip.

Grandma Char Groupie said...

I would hope Cedric Hayes' church would not be foolish enough to pay for their "Lost Choir's" trip to Dallas. I am sure that Jim played a game of "I'll trade you 2 college admissions for your name" with Cedric. Jim was more than happy to pay for the trip so he could fool the Masters Comission into them thinking he is something he is not--sort of like telling Lori she was not at the pharmacy but having her nails done instead!

Brother Dortch said...

Hello Tanya!

Bakker needed "Kevin's House" finished in only 30 days too and look where that got him. I think I know where he pulls these figures out from and let's just say it is an area where the sun don't shine!

Think back 80s said...

What hurt Kevin's house was using Kevin as a poster child. If you can refer back to the photos of the period you will see that Kevin was not really what you would describe as "cute", I've noticed that these appeals for handicapped kids use very charming subjects to bring in the donations. I guess that's how we are wired as humans to go for looks as the #1 motive. Pastor was sincere with Kevin and did what he could as did Ham. and the rest of the team. I really think Pastor had the best intentions for Kevin and trully loved him. It was unfortunate but not everthing works out like you hope.

Anonymous said...

To 8:57, They should call you the "Sour Grapes Kid" tell us how your employment ended, were you fired for cause? Be fair, just don't state you're a former 10 year former employee, 10 years is a while to work for someone, so you were obviously were happy for at least 10 years. Come clean!!

Anonymous said...

Bill Whaley is a cheapskate and crank. He pitches his "penny-ante" money saving ideas as a "schtick" for recognition. Only a hillbilly would modify his surroundings with such lame brain ideas. Do what he does and your property will be infested with rats and other vermin and be monitored by the Dept of Health and Sanitation daily. He's looney toons.

Brother Dortch said...

Re: Think back 80s

Dear Sir or Madam:

You have come on this blog site and have, in nearly 700 responses, been the very first Bakker supporter to even register a comment about “Kevin’s House” and, for that, I will truly give you credit. Your response, however, is causing me to sit here in total confusion & amazement as to how you can logically say the problem with “Kevin’s House” is that he was not cute enough of a human being to be used as a poster child. Your behavior is typical of any major felon or serious criminal who, when confronted with the details of the crime, deflects the magnitude of it by reflecting back to another totally unrelated matter in time. For example,

“I’m sorry your honor, I really loved the neighbor lady with all my heart, but the reason I snatched her purse and caused her to break her back and arm and loose two teeth when she hit the cement, is because it was cold outside and I wanted money to be able to ride the warm bus that day.”

Have you been in the medicine chest robbing it of some of Lori’s pills? If you care to discuss this matter intelligently please come back with something much better than:

“…you will see that Kevin was not really what you would describe as “cute…”

And, only at that time, will I will be willing to express my opinion, on this very tragic matter, with you further.


P.S.--If you would really like to impress me, please answer my appeal question, which I posted earlier in this blog, which can be answered in one quick and short sentence.

Tanya said...

@ Think back 80s: Brother Dortch is generously giving you points for being the first Bakker-supporter to comment on Kevin's House.

I'm having a difficult time trying to figure out your reasoning. Are you saying the problem was Kevin himself, because Kevin was not cute/charming enough?

I agree with Brother D., I'd appreciate it if you posted again and explained your perspective further. Perhaps you could share what you think the problem with Kevin's House was - and how having a 'poster child' that was not 'cute' had anything to do with that problem.

Until you do, I must subtract double the points granted by Brother D. for the mind-blowing ignorance of your comment.

Anonymous said...

The issue isn't, "was Kevin the right poster child for this project?" It doesn't matter, because the money was raised regardless of his "looks" (whatever that is about).

The issue is where the money went AFTER it was raised.

Anonymous said...

the poster child comment about poor kevin was one of the most ignorant things I have read in a long time. totally dumb.

Grandma Char Groupie said...

The fool who wrote the comment about Kevin not being the right poster child is probably Bakker himself. You would have to be a convicted felon with no conscious to think that way and Bakker is both!

Anonymous said...

The post about Kevin @8:21 is sick!

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Right on Grandma Char Groupie!

Bakker is a sicko and could have easily wrote that comment about Kevin.

Tanya said...

The "oh well" attitude was a nice touch: "It was unfortunate but not everthing works out like you hope."

Joe C said...

Hell, I just want to meet my neighbor. Don't we all want to feel comfortable knowing our neighbors ?????

Joe C's Press Agent said...

Best of luck tomorrow and look forward to hearing all about it!
Go Joe !!!

Joe C Blue eye, Missouri said...

Branson and sorrounding areas are O.K. Please do not succumb to any sensationalism

Anonymous said...

My lips are sealed press agent. However, I will gladly tell all for a bucket of Pinto Beans.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

I hope the visit to the zombie compound goes well Joe C.

Mother of 2 Teachers said...

I would also like to express to Joe C. my desire that the meeting with the con artist goes well today. We'll be thinking of you today Joe!

Anonymous said...

It being March 1st, go in like a lion, big Joe, nothing less then 1.5 million, Bakker has deep pockets. Say hi to Jim from all the folks at the JBFB Fan Club. Chew bubblegum and kick butt. (I just hope you don't exit like a lamb).

the 80s said...

I did not mean the comments said about Kevin to sound mean or unfeeling, just practical. That's the sad reality about reality, our society is geared to respond in a much more generous manner if the subject is used as motivation is attractive. Case in point, the picture of the little girl at the McDonalds Drive thru where the Ronald McDonald House donation box is. Cute as a button, but picked for a reason (cuteness) how can you deny her? Look at the Jerry Lewis MD propaganda posters, all cute kids. Maybe it's wrong, but it sure isn't wrong to the Madison Avenue thinkers and executives who have compiled a lot of knowledge on this subject. In the real world you run a business as a business. It's a tough world. Thank you.

Buckets R Us said...

To the 80's:
You just proved the point that this IS NOT a religion, but a business. Thanks for verifying what we already knew!

Anonymous said...

To Joe C @ 10:05, To answer your ?. Not if the neighbor is a neighbor from hell.

Tanya said...

@ the 80s: thank you for the courtesy of commenting again on Kevin's House.

Your focus on Kevin confuses me. Kevin is not the issue. Once again with feeling: Kevin is NOT the issue. And, for good measure, your perceived "cuteness" of children is also NOT the issue.

Would you be willing to comment on what ARE the issues?

Here is a quick summary:

Jim Bakker DID raise a lot of money, and he said it was for a home for disabled children. Jim Bakker DID build a large house (in a short amount of time). That house was NOT up to code for the purpose Jim Bakker said it was intended for (a home for disabled children). Therefore, the ONLY people that ever lived in that home, Kevin and his family, were kicked out. There has been no good accounting for where all the money raised went.

Those are the basic issues.

Please do your best to forget what Kevin did or did not look like, and address the core issues of the Home for Disabled Children (I'll remove the name Kevin, in case that helps).

If you don't understand the difference between what you are addressing (as a supporter of Bakker), and what we are addressing, just say so, and we'll leave it at that. No need to go in circles.

Tanya said...

Day 3 Junk Man show - does anyone else think it was awesome? I can't do it justice, like Ron could, but I noted some highlights:

Amusing to see Jim struggle to control the Junk Man - the Junk Man is much too impressed with himself to be a good little guest. Lots of editing in an attempt to make this show cohesive. At one point Jim was saying that people are telling him to save seeds to be planted later - you can see the Junk Man almost exploding, shaking his head "no no no," fidgeting in his chair - Jim was having none of it, leaned away so the Junk Man didn't get an opening to say what he wanted. But, Junk Man got his own back later when Jim asked him to explain something - Junk Man said first he needed to finish up, and the Junk Man said do not save seeds. Oh no you didn't, Junk Man. Don't you know that Jim is now trying to sell seeds for $100?

Lots of fake crying from Jim while he rambled about his grandmother.

Jim wandered into zombie-land, spent a lot of time there, got right in some of their faces, sat next to Grandma Moneybags with his arm around her.

And finally, Kevin's song. A stolen tune with new lyrics. Why not? They steal footage from disaster movies all the time.

Ron - I can't imagine which show you'll choose to blog about next. Looking forward to it, whichever one you pick.

No thank you. said...

Jim must be in dire straits for guests. I tuned in for yesterday's show and could not sit through the entire segment that guy is a very cheap imitation of the Science Channel's "Stuck with Hackett" and even that I won't watch.

Joe C Blue eye, Missouri said...

Meeting went very well today.

Zombini said...

Jim's good people!

inquisitive sasha said...

Joemama you need to tell us a lot more than the meeting went very well...tell us everything that was discussed!

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Joe C,

Glad to hear that.

Thanks for the highlights of the latest zombie show Tanya. Sounds damn funny!

No Nonsense Norski said...


Yup, I caught the seed fiasco too. The Junk Man is a trip!

Watching Lori through JB's fake crying episode. It was painful. She looked just as disgusted as his viewers felt.

Have a feeling the 666 edition is lost forever. Sure would have loved to see that one.

Joe, are you still planning a billboard?

Joe C Blue eye, Missouri said...

I will be putting my home on the market and have two neighbors that are potential buyers.

Buddy's Buddy said...

@Tanya, thanks for the review of Junk Man - Day 3. Did you notice that during Kevin's "Forgiveness" rip-off of Earth, Wind & Fire's "September" ( Jim started a conversation with the Junk Man after his clapping to the rhythm fell apart. Right on camera he was gesturing and yelling at the Junk Man.

Also, when Jim was getting up in the face of one of the inbreds in the audience who was blonde and ponytailed, I thought she was going to cry.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

I feel the same way you do No Nonsense Norski about the 666 show.
Enjoyed the youtube clip Ron posted of that barf fest though. Loved it when Jim initially wrote L66 on bozo's forehead then sloppy "edit" and it magically changed to a 666 on the next shot.

Anonymous said...

Joe C. How was the "Dino" cake? Just kidding, I'm sure Bakker's a real great guy. I give you a lot of credit, the posters here "talk the talk" while you "walk the walk".

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Joe C, If you were to sell your property, do you have any thoughts as to where you would probably go to live?

Tanya said...

I've been aware of the Jim Bakker Show, new edition, for just a short time, and this show was extra-special (I thought).

I'm sorry you missed the 666 episode, No Nonsense Norski - that one was pretty special too. As Kool-Aid Kid pointed out, Ron has posted a clip of the 666 section on his You Tube channel, so you can at least see the big ending.

And I did see Jim nattering at the Junk Man in the background of Kevin's stolen song (thanks for reminding me of the title of the real song, Buddy's Buddy) - wish I could have heard what he was saying.

Quick note to 4:08pm about the posters just "talking the talk" - you do realize with the Internet that people from all over the world can post on the same blog, yes? Seems a little unfair to blast all the posters on this blog when you don't know anything about their circumstances, for example, where they live in relation to Morningside. Or for that matter, what they may be doing that they are not posting about.

Anonymous said...

Joe C.
Stop keeping secrets and let the cat out of the bag...What was said??

Anonymous said...

Tanya, you are right, about the comment to "talk the talk", Like someone stated before if this site helps out one individual from throwing away money or trust needlessly, it has done a humane service.

Buckets R Us said...

Hey when you google the names of the master's commission members crazy things pop up:
Sasha Volz:
Picking up the video camera and buying some tape! Yeah i deffinately need some coffee for this shit!
Get it on a [mug]

- by impulsivesasha on July 24, 2010

Joe C Blue eye, Missouri said...

Loose lips sink ships.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

... and 23 foot speed boats. Right Joe C? LOL

Grandma Char Groupie said...

The "666" episode is now up on the video archive of Bakker's website for all to view!

No Nonsense Norski said...

Thanks for the Heads-Up, G. Char. Will check it out.

Joe C., Glad to hear all went well at your meeting. Please let us know how things progress.

Best of luck to you.

Anonymous said...

I see the big guy is back for the introduction segment,(at least he was yesterday). Zach could not make a pimple on the Kevin's butt as an announcer. Kevin has the ability to stir the masses and get the juices flowing in anticipation. He's the master sidekick. I love that big dummy.

Anonymous said...

Hey KAKa... You're comment about the speed boat was pretty funny. Classic!

Ron said...

Working on a post now, and yes I will get a little bit of the 666 episode in there.

Also have a new, interesting project planned for a few months down the line. Not sure that I can pull it off or not given my time constraints, but if I can you guys/gals will probably love it (the zombies too).

In case anyone missed it, I have a YouTube channel up now. Just search on YouTube for foodbucketfanpage.

Hope you got what you wanted and more, Joe C! Make sure to unleash a plague of locusts for Jim before you leave!

Craig said...

The youtubes are great. Thanks Ron. BTW, this blog really got the zombie(s) going. LOL. Great work.

Anonymous said...

I hope the new development coming in a few months is a message board! I can imagine the subcategories to post in:

What Jim's Wearing

Jim's Misinterpreted and Mispronounced Scripture

Side Effects of Silver Sol


Failed Prophecies

Recent Guests

Dehydrated and Freeze Dried Bucket Reviews...

Anonymous said...

One thing Jim can't bullshit about is that Silver Sol can grow hair.

Anonymous said...

Joe C.
Please spill the beans and tell us what was discussed at your meeting with Jim!

Brother Dortch said...

I think grandson James must have had one of his Morningside College English students post this over on Phil's blog:

Posted by Pamela Dodaro on February 25, 2012 @12:38a.m.

thank you I read all of the hate and I think you need 2 thing 1 is get a life!!!!!
2 and one thing love then hate them you are thing of them put this much time in
your owe life and the world my and your kid would have a grate life
if you don’t like the bakers don’t look you don’t have to send them money
but thank you for your eye opening read

Craig said...

Not very happy with my experience with a MM grad. I did ring the bottle, it was not a "hanger" and he should've given me the stuffed SpongeBob. I guess he learned how to cheat and steal at Jim's fake school.

Tanya said...

Brother D, that is appalling. I get that there is texting shorthand - using "2" for "two," lol and so many others that I can't keep track - and I have no argument with that... but that comment shows a lack of basic writing skills.
Shockingly bad...

Anonymous said...

Hi Brother Dortch;

I am so glad you pointed out the ramblings of "Pamela" on Phil's blog. It is such a convoluted posting I couldn't make heads or tails from what they were trying to say.

How did you like the posting from Bess on Jan 23, 2012 @6:33 She accuses other posters of gossip and then she goes on to gossip about Tammy Faye.

The posting by Embarrased To be Here on Jan 23, 2012 was interesting also.

For those who are curious and haven't visited Phil's blog it's a good read! The Bakker supporters are even more confusing there than they are here. The sites address is

Awaiting The Sex Scandal said...

Bill Ballenger must have run out of money. He is scheduled for a live taping on March 6.
Go Bill !!!

Tanya said...

The show I'm seeing now has Frank on, promoting assorted products with his pseudoscience. Jim seems to have abandoned all pretense of preaching and is just plain selling. In addition to the products that Frank has brought to sell, Jim is pushing his Jim Bakker Cereal, said he's busy creating his own Jim Bakker peanut-free peanut butter, and wants Frank to create a Jim Bakker Ginger Ale.

The poison spreads, too - when I first came across Jim Bakker's show, and Kevin Shorey went missing, I checked out Kevin's website. It was pretty plain. I just looked at it again, and guess what - there is a "Kevin's Shop" that sells his CDs and Seychelle products. And, as a thank you if you order, you get a men's and women's watch! They look a lot like the watches Jim was selling. There's a video that runs, I didn't listen to the whole thing, but Kevin showed the watches, said they would come in a nice box, and they were "almost like a Timex."

Looks like Kevin is drinking the Kool-Aid.

I Smoked Crack With Lori said...

And when that Jim Bakker peanut-free peanut butter and Jim Bakker Ginger Ale finally hits the market Jim will say these words:



No Nonsense Norski said...


We must be on the same wavelength as I did the same thing re. Kevin.

Those watches just will not disappear fast enough! JB has found a way to get rid of his sloppy seconds - er, overruns - pawn them off on Poor Kevin.

The video....oh boy. I couldn't watch the whole thing either.

So sad. So sad. Where in the world is Kevin's father-in-saw, Mel Tillis?

One would think Mel could help Kevin get involved in something - ANYTHING - else!

Buddy's Buddy said...

Thanks, Tanya and Norski. I did force myself to sit through the entire Kevin video. I wonder what Jimbo thinks about him saying, at about 12 minutes and 30 seconds in, to forget preparation for the end times by building fortresses and hoarding!

@Anonymous at March 2, 3:41 p.m. I think your ideas for sub-categories are great! But don't you think we could use one called "The Psychology of Using Fear to Sell"?

Just a thought... perhaps Joe C. doesn't want to tell us what happened at Thursday's meeting because the sale offer might involve a confidentiality agreement. I hope the offers you got for your land aren't from Bakker, Joe C. If they are, you know where that money came from.

Tanya said...

Norski - must be true what they say about great minds, hey. The video killed me fairly quickly - how did you do it, Buddy's Buddy? And Kevin was still talking at the 12 min 30 sec mark? Yikes.

Watched a bit more of the Frank show. Turns out I can only take the Jim and Frank love-fest in small doses. I wonder if I am understanding them correctly - for a one-time $100 'love gift' they will send you a box of smoothie vitamins (or whatever, the point is its one box of something). But if you commit to one year of $100 per month you will get the same box, plus some bars of some type, plus a bag of rice protein... that cheap shaker... wasn't there Vitamin D in there too? Then Frank said he doesn't sell his stuff to make money, and Jim said they're giving so much away its no wonder the Ministry isn't getting any money.

Some questions come to mind: (1) you get a bunch more crap for the same amount of money per month if you commit to 1 year, what does that say about the mark up (i.e., how much money are they actually making is my question), (2) of course Frank is making money, he's running a business, and lives off its income - so that is a lie, (3) of course Jim is making money, or he couldn't do the things he is doing, have the boat and the homes, etc etc - so Jim must be getting money, and his statement is a lie, (4) Jim said he used to spend hundreds of dollars a month in the vitamin store, but now he can use these amazing products - but didn't Jim say in the past that he is on a very limited monthly income? Where did the money for all his expensive vitamins come from? There are so many lies flying around I can't keep track. Add in the "facts" that Frank makes up (like 99% of people don't get enough good protein) and its a gigantic vomit-fest.

And here's an unrelated-to-Frank question - remember the "artist's rendition" of the plaque on the giant Jesus statue with all the donors' names that Jim showed when he was promoting the statue? We see clips of the statue in the opening segment of the show, and I have yet to see a plaque on the base. Has Jim has decided he doesn't want a plaque messing up the look of his Jesus?

Brother Dortch said...

Looks like Bakker will NOT be announcing so proudly, as he did with the eldest Mexican daughter that she was a virgin when she got married, with Lori's cousin, Amber Graham. Amber was actually raised by Lori for part of her life and it was Amber that Lori left the compound to attend a rock concert with a while back. Recently, Lori and Grandma Char left for a week to see Amber and the baby in Washington D.C. and, for those who do not already know, this baby was conceived out of wedlock by Amber and her boyfriend. You will never hear that broadcasted out over the airwaves on Jim's show.

Also, take note of the Christmas Eve photo that was put out showing the dinner at the "cabin". Seated at the head of the table was Grandma Maxine and youngest daughter, Marie, was nowhere to be seen. Some previous bloggers here have told the story about Bakker promising his uncle he would take care of the aunt upon the uncle's death and Jim proceeded to do exactly the opposite--while Grandma Maxine, a non-relative, simply bought her way in! Also, did any of you happen to catch, when Lori was gone out of town, Bakker finally brought up the topic of Tammy Sue? Wonderful family we have there at the compound and "cabin", isn't it?

Orlando Sentenal 7-3-90 said...

Jim Bakker May Testify In Credit Card Fraud Trial

July 03, 1990|By Roger Roy Of The Sentinel Staff

Three Tampa Bay area residents went on trial in federal court in Orlando Monday on charges they defrauded credit card holders of nearly $500,000 by using the bank accounts of a Central Florida minister who once was host to Jim and Tammy Bakker.

Thomas Jolitz, Judy Chevis and Frank Severino are charged with credit card fraud, conspiracy, bank fraud and money laundering in a trial that may include testimony from Jim Bakker.

The three are accused of using fraudulently obtained credit card account numbers to charge card holders around the country without the card holders' knowledge.

In opening arguments Monday, Assistant U.S. Attorney Daniel Broderson said the three duped the Rev. John Dawsey in May 1989 into allowing them to use a bank account from his Astor-St. Johns Marina to funnel the money from the credit card holders.

At the time, Dawsey hoped the marina would support his Lake George Ministries Retreat for troubled pastors. The Bakkers stayed there for several weeks in early 1989 before Jim Bakker went on trial on fraud charges stemming from the collapse of his PTL ministry.

Bakker is now serving a 45-year sentence at a federal prison in Minnesota, but defense attorneys said he might be called to testify. They would not elaborate on what Bakker would be asked.

Dawsey testified Monday that he was told the credit cards were being used by customers of a telephone solicitation business that the defendants operated to sell vacation trips and jewelry. In exchange for allowing the use of his bank account to handle the credit card charges, Dawsey said, he was to receive a portion of the money.

Broderson said Dawsey was ''maybe a little bit gullible'' and was tricked by the defendants into believing the operation was legitimate.

But defense attorneys contend that Dawsey was guilty of fraud and that the government should have charged him rather than their clients.

Marc Lubet, attorney for Chevis, said, ''John Dawsey and a group of his friends were incredibly greedy men who found a way, they thought, to make a tremendous amount of money and case the blame on someone else.''

Lubet charged that Dawsey and his friend got ''perhaps $200,000'' out of the deal. He also said Dawsey got advice on fund-raising from Bakker.

At the time, the marina and the retreat were strapped for money and were in bankruptcy court, Dawsey said.

Under questioning by Ray Goodman, attorney for Jolitz, Dawsey said he did not tell bankruptcy officials or his creditors that he received as much as $50,000 in May 1989 from the credit card operation.

Dawsey, who now lives in Ohio, said the retreat is defunct. It is scheduled to be auctioned off to pay creditors on July 17, he said.

Dawsey's testimony resumes today. It was not known Monday when Bakker might be called, but the trial is expected to take more than a week.

Anonymous said...

Brother Dortch,

The Amber Graham you are talking about is actually Lori's niece. She is the daughter of Lori's brother Mark. Mark lives with their mother at Morningside. Mark has not worked in years. Somehow he has money to keep flying to the East Coast though to see this daughter in DC. Lori and Grandma Char just got back from seeing her and the new baby. Wouldn't it be nice to jet off where ever you want but never have to work to earn the money for all the fun vacations and airfare!
You can see this niece and the shower they threw for her at Morningside, in the photo blogs of the family at Bakker show website.

I guess the Bibles that the Grahams and the Bakkers have are missing the scriptures about fornicating! My bible says to not associate with the sexually immoral. But at Morningside they throw a party for them, because they are the Bakkers! There is nothing that the zombies won't justify, rationalize, and excuse with the Bakker family.

Yes, Jim is Gay or Bi said...

On May 27, 1987, during a ninety-minute press conference, Rev Jerry Falwell admonished Jim Bakker by saying these words:

"I have sat across the table from men who have told me of your homosexual advances."

And then in January, 1989, Penthouse Magazine published the following article:

"The Devil in Jim Bakker: His Homosexual Lover and Pimp Tells All"

And in an article published in "The Independent" on June 15, 2003 they had this to say:

"It was never exactly clear how many sexual partners (allegedly both women and men) [Jim Bakker] enjoyed in those crazy days before his reckoning with the law and crushing humiliation. …

…Bakker, we all assumed, would fade into shamed obscurity. One thing was for sure, he told one interviewer shortly afterwards – he would never preach on television again. …

Not only is he preaching once more, but he is doing it before the cameras. …

Bakker, in other words, has made a swift journey from shamed to shameless."

Grant Wacker, in "Christian Century" had this to say about Bakker in 1989:

"When challenged, he became God’s prophet with God’s mandate for the hour. Doubting Jim Bakker became equivalent to doubting God."

And this is from a PEOPLE magazine article published on 9-18-89 written by Montgomery Brower:

"They put a Jacuzzi right in Jim's office which we called the Floozie Jacuzzi because of the gossip about what went on there," says Miles, whose own recently published book, Don't Cull Me Brother, chronicles his life with and without Bakker. Before Jessica Hahn, Miles alleges, Bakker had an affair in the late 1970s with a born-again Christian beauty. Bakker reportedly did not limit his dalliances to women. In a 1989 Penthouse article, fellow PTL minister Fletcher alleged he caught Bakker in bed with his right-hand man, David Taggart. Fletcher said he himself had homosexual encounters with Bakker on three occasions. Their affair reportedly began when Bakker made advances to Fletcher as Fletcher was giving him a back rub in the ministry sauna at Heritage Village. Shepard recounts that one aide who traveled often with Bakker, a married man, used to give Bakker back rubs that Bakker took as a prelude to masturbation. Though upset and disgusted by his role as Bakker's geisha, the employee explained that Bakker compensated him for this arousal service with an unlimited budget, travel and his assurance that this was God's work.

Miles offers a more richly descriptive account of Bakker's homosexual cavorting. On Jan. 13, 1977, he walked into the steam room and found Bakker naked with three young men. "There they were, frolicking about, taking turns placing each other on the massage table. The hands started with the knees, working their way up the thighs into the intimate massages—accompanied by schoolgirl giggles and cries of 'Whoooeee!' " he says. When Bakker realized someone was watching, a silence fell over the scene of good of boys at play. Then Bakker became businesslike, complimenting Miles on his performance on that day's show and telling one of the three men with him to "book Austin every month on this program." While retreating from the steam room, Miles heard footsteps and ducked into a corner. "It was Tammy Faye storming across the place," he says. "She banged on the door and said, 'Jim Bakker, I know you're in there. Now come out of there right now.' Then she broke down and started to cry."

Tanya said...

I also noticed that Grandma Maxine was in the family Christmas Eve photo, and that other family members were absent from that photo. And, the Christmas tree Jim had in his "cabin" showed not only how large this so-called cabin is (go to Jim's website, look under family photos, and see that they needed a ladder to decorate the tree - it was that tall) but the tree itself was decadent. Also, Jim shows Grandma Maxine special attention, in a recent show he sat next to her, put his arm around her, got cozy... Brother D. seems correct to me - you can buy your way into Jim's family/favour... and also note that if you are no use to Jim you get left behind.

We absolutely will not be hearing any information from Jim Bakker that does not further his agenda (which is, in my opinion, to make as much money as he can).

Buckets R Us said...

At the end of last night's program JB said "Thanks Mr. Crawford for keeping Morningside alive" (or something to that effect). Wonder if he was talking about Joe C?

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