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Friday, September 30, 2011

Lori Bakker Birthday Show Part 1

Resident Eunuch Zach
Today we're told of a 'special edition' of The Jim Bakker Show: It's Lori's 54th birthday celebration. Most women that I know, hell, all the women that I know, would not tell you how old they are, much less celebrate their birthdays. But hucksters Lori and Jim don't throw away easy opportunities to sell product, and today they're cleaning house. What exactly are they selling? The shortest answer would be: everything.

The Country Bear Jimboree, minus a drummer
The show opens with a confident-looking Zach thumbing himself as he tells us, "I'm Zach Drew." We see a little taste of the Morningside Band, but the drummer is missing. By missing, I don't mean the regular drummer is missing and has been replaced by a new guy. I mean there is literally no drummer seated at the set. Yet, the music clearly contains a drum beat. These animals are fake-playing to a track like the Country Bear Jamboree...has anyone confirmed that those are real people up there? Maybe the animatronic drummer's arm mechanism was sticking and he's been taken out for an oil job? I've always thought that Possum Trot keyboard player looked like a brainless stuffed animal...maybe I was right after all.

The camera moves to the audience and shows us the collected gaggle of Bakker Zombies. Holy hell...I think they're stuffed too. Just look at the vacant stares and mindless clapping.

"Let me clap for you before I insult you, dear."
And now we see the lady of the hour, Lori 'Graham' Bakker. Jim's sitting real pretty for her, giving her a nice round of applause before announcing, "Fifty-four years.....old, today." He thought about it for a second. 'Am I gonna call her young or old?' I'd love to be inside his mind while he was debating that little move. What line of thinking made him settle on calling Lori 'old' instead of 'young'? Maybe I'm giving him too much credit though. He didn't call her 'old' for any particular reason, he just did it because he's an asshole, plain and simple.

"Der der der, I want to eat Gilbertis, der der der."
Lori yaps about wanting to go to Gilberti's to eat for her birthday. I looked this place up and found it rated '#1 out of 8 total restaurants' in Branson. It also has 'the best pizza in town'. I don't know if the owner has a business relationship with Lori and the Duke so I can't speak to his integrity, but in a town of 8 restaurants, it's probably not too hard to be top, especially if he's serving pizza to all those pigs. Anyways, Lori keeps telling us that she wants to go to Gilberti's to eat. Okay, so get your fat-ass in the car and go eat...talking about it will only make you hungrier.

The Crypt Keeper and Mongrel de la vega
Grannie Char the Bug is introduced, followed by Gangster Mondo and then Video Game Ricky. It looks like they've finally unshackled Ricky from the Morningside dungeon and let him out for some fresh air and sunlight. Bakker calls him "Ricky Ricardo" and introduces him as Lori's 'littlest lamb', but then corrects himself and says, "Well, not littlest anymore." And don't you forget that Jim. You're gonna make the mistake one day of telling Ricky to shine your shoes, and he's gonna tell you straight up, "No more shines, Jim." It might go something like this:
[Bakker] "Hey Ricky Ricardo, you turn that video game off right now. Don't you speak English ya dumb waterhead?"
"No more shines, Jim."
[Ricky] "Yeah, umm, I've been meaning to tell you something Jim. I've decided to play video games all day. In fact, I'm going to be playing games all week, all month, and all year. And by the way, my last name isn't 'Ricardo'. That sound good, 'Bakker'?"
[Bakker, shouting] "Ricky you turn that off right now, or else!"
[Ricky, standing] "Or else what, Jim? What are you gonna do, old man?"
But, for now at least, Jim still has control over Ricky since he has the dungeon keys and therefore controls Ricky's access to fresh air, sunlight and dry clothes. On the couch, Bakker prompts Ricky, "Say 'Happy Birthday Mom'", and Ricky immediately repeats it. Quite a touching mother-and-fake-son moment.

Wait wait, don't tell me. Vegan, right?
Three minutes in and Bakker is hawking a self-published cookbook by his guest, Kevin Van Kirk. Jim calls this guy a 'genius'. Van Kirk looks like the typical staunch, in-your-face vegan wack: slightly emaciated, taut inelastic skin, and lips pulled back from his teeth. His head is small; he looks like a little fruit monkey. If he came up to me on the street to tell me that he didn't eat meat (as I'm sure he would), I would reply, "Yeah dude...I can tell."

Van Kirk says he made a German Chocolate Cake for Lori without milk, without dairy, and without oil. I assume 'dairy' includes eggs, milk and butter. So what did he make it out of, sawdust and cardboard? You can't make a cake without eggs, or at least you can't make a cake anyone would eat without eggs. I'm sure he'd eat it, but then again, I'm sure this guy eats crickets and mealworms too. Gotta get your protein somewhere, right?

Jim suspiciously eyeing the sawdust cake. It weighs 10 lbs.
Kevin Shorey is holding up Van Kirk's book. Something tells me that Kevin won't be thumbing through those recipes tonight. No meat? Trash.

A surprise guest slinks onto the set from the back door. It's Plastic Man himself, Dino Kartsonakis, and he's brought a cake too. Dino announces his cake as being 'sugar-based' and I'll admit that I chuckled at that one. Now we have two cakes competing for Lori's affection: Dino's sugar cake and Van Kirk's sawdust cake. I'm guessing the sawdust cake eventually gets distributed to all the animals in the audience, while sweet-tooth Lori gorges on sugar cake. They'll probably force the sawdust on Kevin, Zach and Sasha too. Jim likes sticking it to his clowns.

Dino's piano is a total loss...or is it?
Dino tells Lori that he's giving her a gift: A plaque containing a few keys from his pianos that were destroyed by flood over the summer. Bakker jumps on this money-making opportunity. He tells Dino, on-air, that he'll pay him for his keys so that he can sell them to support his construction efforts. Jim turns to the camera and tells us that he's burdened because he's starting paving work today on the road to Lori's House. Looks like he's gonna mix some fake tears into this sad story, and right on schedule Bakker chokingly tells us that he's paving "...the road to the valley which has been a...bumpy road you might say...for us." Jim tells us that there's not enough money to finish the road, but they're gonna start anyways. That's classic Bakker, starting projects that he has no money to finish so he can guilt people into 'helping a brother out'.

"I can edit this out", says the Frog
Jim floats a number to Dino: $2,000 per plaque. This is strange, they're negotiating on-camera in plain view. Dino hedges a little bit and Jim says, "...Tell me if I'm wrong. I can edit this out." After Bakker says he can 'edit this out', he turns to the camera and laughs. Wow, Dino is really squirming up there. He turns to Lori and starts talking to her while Jim is still talking to him. Jim's telling Dino about Lori's House while Dino is simultaneously telling Lori that "it's gonna be an amazing place." I wonder if maybe Dino wants more money but feels he's being badgered into the deal by Jim? It could also be that he's trying to justify the value of his 'charitable donation' to Jim on-camera in case the IRS comes knocking. I think it's the latter, because Dino also squeaks in an off-handed comment that "...it's about ministry." For the record, Kartonakis sounds entirely unenthused that this would be 'about ministry'.

Bakker won't be smiling when the IRS comes knockin' again
Wait, I think I've figured it out. Dino has most likely filed an insurance claim to replace his lost pianos (there were two of them, by the way). Insurance will pay him for the total loss. However, Dino is also going to sell the piano keys to Bakker under the table for cash, or donate them to Bakker through a charitable donation. Personally, I think Dino's taking cash, and I think ol' Diamond Dino is looking forward to this chance to double-dip on his lost pianos. Bakker, of course, is more than happy to help since it will benefit him too. Just my opinion, but this all sounds a little dishonest to me.

Now that we're out of the shady on-camera deal between Bakker and Plastic Man, Jim talks about being in 'the valley' after coming out of prison. He says Kenneth Copeland emptied his bank account to give Jailbird Jim some seed money after flying the coop, which I don't believe. This segues into Jim introducing his 'One Day Only' offers to support Lori's House. Jim is selling eight different junk bundles for $54 bucks each, and he claims that they're available for one day only. Considering that Bakker streams his show online before broadcasting it at a later date, I would say that Jim Bakker is lying. At minimum, these offers are available for two days: once on the internet and once on tv...not counting repeats in the future. Any Bakker Loopys care to respond to that?

Is Diamond Dino double-dipping on his lost pianos?
Bakker tells us that he can pave his road and pour the Lori's House foundation immediately if everyone watching buys one of his junk bundles. And what if they don't Jim, what are you going to do? You're gonna go into debt and tell everyone you need help, right?

Jim says they've gone into their vaults and warehouses to pick the junk he's selling today, and he says that some of it isn't 'brand new', but they're all things that Lori loves. I'm not sure what he means by this, is he selling used goods? Jim tells us again, this is for "One..Day..Only."

Jim's first item up for sale is a Bible Two-Pack. What kind of wicked ministry is this, selling Bibles on tv at a markup? Would Jesus sell Bibles, Jim?

Jim is really pushing the Bibles hard, raving about the large print and soft leather binding. Bakker tells us that these Bibles were already paid for and have been sitting in his warehouse. Jim sounds like a mafia fence peddling stolen fur coats. He probably got 'the deal of a lifetime' on these Bibles, stowed them away in a Branson Load N' Lock storage unit, and now he's trying to move them out before 'the Feds' start getting wise:
[Mafioso #1 wiretap] "Hey, you know that guy downstairs, the froggy guy with the color tv and the wife with the big tits?"
[Mafioso #2 wiretap] "The guy that runs the Bakery? Yeah I know him. He's a friggin' schmuck, keeps asking me for if I wanna buy his cheap chink jewelry. I bought one for the wife, turned her skin green."
[Mafioso #1 wiretap] "Yeah yeah, I know. But here's the thing. The guy is knee-deep in Bibles right now."

[Mafioso #2 wiretap] "Whoa whoa. Paulie, how you know something like that?"

[Mafioso #1 wiretap] "Because I'm the guy that got him in deep. This guy told me he'll pay a Cleveland ($1,000) per truck. Says he moves them like candy at a preschool picnic."
[Mafioso #2 wiretap] "No kiddin? What's a truck hold, about 10,000?"
[Mafioso #1 wiretap] "Something like that. So he gets 'em for 10 cents a piece, what do I care?"
[Mafioso #2 wiretap] "Kinda makes you wonder how much he moves them for, don't it?"
"Can you imagine a $70 Bible for $26?" says Jim as he continues pushing the Bibles on us. No, I can't imagine a $70 Bible for $26, Jim. You know what I can imagine though? A Bible for free. How about it, Pastor?

Mmmmm, yummy.
Our next item is a Silver Sol Starter Kit. Lori claims she uses it every day of her life, which for me is reason enough not to buy it. Zach gets on the mic and gives us the rundown on the kit. He's like Jim's Rod Roddy.

Jim throws it over to Kevin Van Kirk, who is now wearing an apron at a table full of veggies. He's making a salsa which consists of about five chopped veggies all mixed in a bowl. He advises that he likes to add jalapeno to it, and depending on how you hot you want it will determine how much jalapeno you put in. This is one of the stupidest things I've seen/heard on the Bakker Show in a long time. Is that what's in his cookbook? Does he tell us how to pour milk on cereal too? He goes on to inform us that his salsa is also vegan...that might be even stupider than the jalapeno comment. Twenty bucks for his cookbook, plus shipping.

Sasha whoring herself out for Bakker
Back to Jim's junk. Two Lori Lockets, today only, $54. Sasha models it for us, but Lori doesn't. That's because Lori isn't actually wearing one. Jim tells us that he needs to hurry and get Kevin out for a song. I don't understand the rush, but my first guess would be that Kevin has to poop and wants to hit his notes first before vanishing for an hour.

Diamond Dino cracking his knuckles
Jim has one of his 'for sale' bibles in hand and starts citing scripture designed to convince viewers that they should give their money to him. In the background, Dino cracks his knuckles. I wonder if Dino the Greek is the one with the connect on those bibles? Jim reads to us from his shwag bible, "God richly gives us everything to enjoy." He then turns to Lori with a smirk, "So you can enjoy your Lori Lockets there." I don't think that's what the writer meant, Jim. He goes on with the verse until he reaches the word 'foundation'. Then Bakker says that he's building a foundation today. I don't think they meant that either, Jim.

Do you think Jim has ever choked Lori in anger before?
Item #4, two Lori Signature Necklaces. Lori is wearing this one, but it's skewed off to the side of her neck and sort of covered by her scarf. That's okay, Quick-Fingers Bakker comes to the rescue. This guy puts his slimy little fingers on the 'piece' and centers it so the camera can get a good glimpse. Wife or not, it's a complete invasion of her personal space. Now he's pointing at the locket, but he's right up on the thing, merely inches away. Meanwhile, Lori's sitting there like a dog with a biscuit on it's nose, waiting for the 'snap it' signal from her master. If you don't think this is strange, consider it in reverse. Do you think Bakker would ever, even for a second, let someone get that close to him while he sits obediently like a trained dog? Of course not. It's demeaning. Lori's wearing the ugly thing, she's plenty capable of modeling it for the camera herself.

And do you think Lori's ever choked Jim back?
Here he goes again, now he's grabbing the locket on her neck and rolling it around like a booger, with the backside of his hand directly underneath Lori's chin. The guy is danger close to her face. Is he going to punch her? Man, if he's this assaultive with his wife, imagine how he was with a young Jessica Hahn?

Heeding the intestinal groans of a rapidly dilating Shorey off-camera, Jim quickly moves to junk bundle #6, so quickly in fact that he forgot junk bundle #5. Up for bid is a six-pack of BioSense Hand Sanitizer Bottles. I'll give him a buck for the whole pack, but Jim's asking for $54. More rushing as Jim tells us Kevin is coming up with his song. I don't know if Kevin is giving the signal off-camera, or maybe his stomach is growling something fierce like a caged tiger. They're all really concerned with getting Shorey out there to sing, immediately.


45 comments:

Ron said...

These are split in two as they're pretty long. Don't forget to read both parts. Enjoy.

Brother Dortch said...

I can almost hear it in my head right now:

BAKKER: (To drummer) “Listen, kid. God spoke to me and told me to tell you to start staying a few hours after the show every day to teach Little Ricky how to play drums. And I want to see results! All he knows how to do is kick the bass pedal with his foot and he has no sense of time whatsoever.”

DRUMMER: “Ahhh, Jim, I’m only self-taught and I'm not really a teacher. And besides, I have to leave out of here after the show to get to my real job since I’m not making enough money working here to pay my bills. But, if I quit my other job, could you tack on an extra $50 a day for giving him lessons?”

BAKKER: “You greedy Son of a Bitch. Get your sticks and get out of here and don’t let me see you here ever again!”

KNOCK ON DOOR AFTER DRUMMER LEAVES BAKKER’S OFFICE - KEYBOARDIST/BAND LEADER ENTERS

KEYBOARDIST/BAND LEADER: “Jim, why are you harassing my band like that? Now we have no drummer at all and I don’t know anybody in these mountains to call in to replace him. Why don’t you just take Little Ricky to the music store and pay to get him some lessons?”

BAKKER: “Aren’t you from Possum Trot, Kentucky?” (Keyboardist/Band Leader nods yes)
“Well, you can take your ass right out of this office and pack your shit up and get back to Possum Trot, Kentucky right now. You’re fired too!”

Brother Dortch said...

The Saga Continues...

SCENE: BAKKER'S OFFICE RIGHT AFTER BANDLEADER & DRUMMER WERE FIRED. ZACH DREW KNOCKS ON DOOR.

BAKKER: "Come in."

ZACH: "Hello, Sir. I hope I'm not bothering you today, Sir. You look like you're having a very stressful day, Sir. I was just reading my Bible, Sir, and thought I'd ask you a few interpretive questions, Sir, if I could."

BAKKER: "Zach, don't you see I'm looking at these reports trying to figure out how to spread all this money around...errr, I mean, how to spread The Word around to all of our TV partners?"

ZACH: "Oh, yes Sir. I'm so sorry, Sir. I didn't mean to bother you, Sir. You know I would never do anything like that, Sir. Is there any thing I can do to make up for bothering you, Sir? Anything at all? Just say what it is you want, Sir, and I'll get on it right away."

BAKKER: "Yes. Tell every one of the five male students of the college we need a drummer and keyboard player who works cheap...see if they know somebody."

ZACH: "Oh, yes Sir! I'll get on that right away, Sir."
"Is there anything else I can do fo you, Sir?"

BAKKER: "Make damn sure no more bugs crawl up through the floor of that tabernacle I put you in charge of or else your fat ass will be on the bus and out of here just like those two musicians I fired!"

ZACH: "Oh yes Sir! Yes Sir! I'll get on that right away, Sir. Right away, Sir!"

Anonymous said...

LOL for "I bought one for the wife, turned her skin green." and hope that my husband won't buy me those jewels for me on my birthday.

Anonymous said...

I was wrong.....but I wasn't wrong......that is why it was wrong to send me to prison...The judge who sent me there was wrong....I suckered you with my fake cry and prosperity message and stole your money...It is wrong for you to be mad at me about it now....It isn't wrong that I got out of prison....It is wrong that you think I should still be there.....I was wrong when I took people's money.....but it's wrong to expect me to pay them back....It wasn't wrong to collect billions of $,s for ministry...Yes, it was wrong to use that ministry money for personal uses....But it is wrong that the IRS wants me to pay taxes on that money.... Darn that IRS and the stupid people who want their money back....can't they see I am never wrong....It is wrong that they all just can't forgive me and my debts....but I am wrong, I mean I was wrong....I just can't figure out anymore more when I'm wrong and truly wrong, and never wrong. I think I should write another book about "Being Wrong" as soon as I figure out what it means!

Oh one last thing....Never mind that I said I would never go back on tv.....I was wrong about that too! Oops ;-)

Sincerely,

from the one who is never wrong!

Anonymous said...

Please don't get excited the above post wasn't really Jim. I picture this as the conversation he has going on in head.

Not a Groupie said...

Ron this is one long post. You outdid yourself. Thanks!
Brother Dortch, surely Jim doesn't use curse words like that.
I always say "Poor Kevin" and now I am saying "Poor Zach" Kevin at least had a good personality but "Poor Zach".
The big question: Why are people so ready to send their hard earned money to strangers they watch on television?

Anonymous said...

Holy Crap! You can buy 50 bottles of that crap for $500. People must be drinking it like water

Anonymous said...

I know someone reading this post right now can give me $100,000. That would be nice.

Not a Groupie said...

OK, Anon:
Have you been in prison?
Can you cry at the drop of a hat?
Do you always take advantage of grandmas and grandpas?
Has your wife taken every drug known to mankind?
Has your wife had 5 abortions?
If you answered YES! to everyone of these questions then send me your address and phone number and I will mail you the money.(NOT!)
If you answered NO! Then you are like the rest of us poor, smart, intelligent and informed people who post on this blog. LOL!

Anonymous said...

I wonder how much money Jim sucker that elder women he refers to as "Grandma" I bet boat loads.

Ron said...

Yep, he said he wants to put an 'I Care' hat on her too. Philip 'Boner' Cameron has been on the show all week mixing in bible scripture with his pleas for money. This guy makes me more sick than Bakker. I'm gonna try and cover the show that aired today but I don't know if I can physically get through it.

Anonymous said...

Ron, we all care for your health. You need to release your disgust through your fingers onto the keyboard. Go atomic and blast these frauds. Love your work. Po

Cameron Is Not My Dad said...

They had a repeat broadcast here today where the guest was the guy, whose purported religious faith is Morman, that makes the freeze dried food Bakker sells. Let me see...a supposed Christian show selling a Morman's food and then Bakker and his wife start going off on "Lori's House" and the new road leading up to it. Lori Bakker says, right on the show, that every time "A Master's Commission Student" travels on that road...blah, blah, blah."

Lori Graham Bakker knows full good and well that there are NO MASTERS COMMISSION STUDENTS at Morningside since Bakker declined to adhere to their policies for teaching the students and lost his right to have an official Masters Commission charter. Morningside is NOT listed on the official list of genuine Masters Commission locations because of this fact. However, the Bakkers continue to mislead the public into thinking the "students" are Masters Commission students when she and her husband know this is not being truthful. This show is one big lie after another and any person who has ever worked there in the past will tell you the same thing. It absolutely disgusts me that this sham fest is allowed to be on the air under a religious disguise. It is simply not right.

Anonymous said...

Hey Ron! If Philip would ask you nicely, would you call him "Dad"? LOL LOL LOL

Anonymous said...

Please oh please someone tell Philbert that he can't sing. No wonder the guy doesn't sing for a living anymore.

No Nonsense Norski said...

No kidding, Cameron can't sing. He screeches! It's painful! Never thought there could be someone even more disgusting than Jimbo. High pitched whining - pleading for money. A couple of shows ago, Cameron called three of his girls his "Old Horses". At first I thought I had misheard - but later in the show Jim and Cameron brought up that demeaning label again - to cover up the gaffe, to be sure. Disgusting creeps.

Ron said...

Here's the link to the episode if you wanna watch it while reading my 'companion piece':
Lori Bakker birthday episode

Ron said...

New post should be coming later on Friday since I'm off work.

Anonymous said...

Jim is a very smart business man. He got people to pay for the paved road because Lori did not want the her house to be built until the road was completed. The other day on the net broadcast Jim mentioned that the road goes past the tabernacle and the camp grounds. I bet he has the road going past all his interest and did not have to pay out of his budget. It will be interesting to see who ends up with what he falls over dead.

Brother Dortch said...

I would suspect that in the event of Bakker's death, the owner/developer of Morningside, will become the legal owner of the entirety of Bakker's ministry's assets.

Buddy's Buddy said...

Anyone notice the BIG Book of History Jim and Lori have been hawking? Of course it ends by saying Pres. Obama declared in 2010 that the U.S. is no longer a Christian nation, when in fact his quote was: "...we are no longer 'just' a Christian nation, but a nation of many other faiths as well."

Dropping that key word sure does change the meaning. I wonder how many other historical lies and inaccuracies are listed in this fifteen-foot-long piece of crap... yours for a love gift of only $20!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, the BIG BOOK of HISTORY for the uneducated idiots that have never attended a history class or cracked a book. Jim's up there trying to read snippets from this rag and he keeps muddling the words! His half-finished sentences and the bad habit of dropping the ends of words is typically ADD. I keep expecting him to say something like "And the Lord said unto Abraham - Oh LOOK! A Chicken!"

Anonymous said...

Liar, Liar, Jim's little pants are on fire. He said he does not get anything out of grabbing money for Stella's house. Funny he should say that since he took 1/3 of that money that was given to the orphans and babies to pave his big road through Morningside.

Anonymous said...

Did Mr Bakker adopt Bondo or Mondo or whatever? I heard him say that Mondo is his son and his kids are Bakker's grand kids. I guess he is trying to make up for his own kids dumping him.

Grandma Char Groupie said...

Bakker treats his own biological children like they don't exist. You never hear him mention Tammy Sue or Jamie Charles at all and the Mexican kids are mentioned on a daily basis. Very strange indeed! And, if you ask me, extremely disrespectful to his real children too--who are both probably STILL going through severe psychological trama after everything he put them through.

Ron said...

I noticed some glaring omissions from that Big Phony's Book of History. Where are Jim's antics circa 1980-1990?

-Jim Bakker sleeps with Jessica Hahn
-Jim Bakker flies his clothes cross-country in his own personal jet
-Jim Bakker knowingly oversells timeshares
-Jim Bakker misappropriates millions of dollars in ministry funds
-Jim Bakker hides misappropriation of funds
-Jim Bakker goes to prison

Anonymous said...

To Grandma Char Groupie....

I have thought the same thing myself. You said it well! The way he has raised his family disqualifies him from running any church with Gods name on it.

Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task. Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, self controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church). He must also have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into disgrace and the devil's trap. 1 Timothy 3:1-7

Jim has broken most everyone of these standards. He is preaching about those speaking out against him on these forums as gossips. He is very good at pointing out others sins, but never cleans up his own!

I point out the truth from God's word so those who are tempted to judge all Christians by people like Jim Bakker and his followers will know the truth. Jim Bakker is not a representative for Christ.

Not a Groupie said...

To Grandma Char Groupie:
I am thinking Jim is not on the best of terms with his children with Tammy. Since Lori is the one who fell in love with the kids first and really thought they needed her that is why he is so attached to his adopted kids-just my opinion, don't know for a fact.

Anonymous said...

Was just watching the news and they said food prices will be easing and going down next year. Why? Because farmers have a excess of corn this year. They said corn is a filler in most foods. Therefore food prices on most items will go down. Hmmm....who should we believe?

Anonymous said...

You should believe your Daddy, Jim. Would he lie to you?

Grandma Char Groupie said...

Jim Bakker will go down in history as being one of the biggest liars and con artists the church has ever known and that fact alone disqualifies him as being anything but a fraud. The above quote you posted about being an overseer is wonderful and thank-you so much for posting it! Not only is Bakker not a represenitive of Christ, he is a braggart, a greedy boaster, and an individual who acts one way on camera ("fake crying") and then another way (a tyrant) in real life. He has screwed a lot of people, not the least of which are his two biological children, and I am 100% certain that he will occupy a nice place in hell when he leaves this world. What disturbs me even further is how there can be individuals left in this world today who are gullible enough as to send this ex-con so much as one dime.

Anonymous said...

on one of this week's shows jim mentioned tammy sue. he was talking about prison again and said " i lost my children, i lost tammy sue and... " then his voiced trailed off. and for a nanosecond he actually seemed sincere because he has lost his children. they will have nothing to do with him. tammy sue hates him.

also here in canada jim comes on at least twice a day and the episodes this week are different on each channel. its like jim bakker in stereo.

Uncle Henry said...

HMMMM! Why are you people doing this to my pal JIMBO??

Anonymous said...

Two great things I caught on one of today's internet broadcast. Mondo was getting the audience ready for the show and said that 78 million people are watching. Then later Jim tells the pastor and choir that if it was in the days of PTL he would hand the guy a check for 250K. But it's not and the got got smack.

Grandma Char Groupie said...

Lori Bakker must have told Mondo De La Vagrant to contact Jamie Charles and see if he wanted to come to Bakker's 50th anniversary in ministry celebration at Morningside. Actually, it was only 45 years, since 5 of them were spent cleaning toilets (his assigned job in prison) but...you know how Jim lies... and Mondo, being the high-class businessman he is, decided to ask Jamie Charles via a public forum much like this one (Twitter). Using his Twitter account, "Mondo18st", Mondo tweeted to Jay asking him how much he would charge the ministry to come to Morningside and said whatever the amount was he would see to it the check was ready. He also promised Jay free round-trip airfare to Branson and the ministry to pick up free accommadations and, in the end, Jamie Charles declined and did not show up and neither did his sister. The honorarium Bakker would have paid his son would have been into thousands, not hundreds, to appear and he could not buy him off.

Then, as if that isn't bad enough, using his same Twitter account Mondo was caught formerly contacting former X-Rated porn star turned reality star Kim Kardashian telling her he thinks she is "Sexy" all the while he has a wife and twin babies back home and is supposed to be in a "ministry" (???). I heard his former home was recently foreclosed upon and it was only after the foreclosure happened that, after a long absence, he began kissing up to Jim again asking for a job. Now he is back on TV saying his former gang offered him $50,000 to stay in tiny Blue Eye, MO and be a "recuiter" and, if you believe that...I've got some swampland I'll sell you real cheap!

Anonymous said...

anybody remember nate, jim's model student who got kicked out for hooking up with jim's daughter maria? well if you wonder how he feels now check out his twitter. confirms everything we hear about the ministry.


Nate Parkhurst@np14094

Anonymous said...

Nate wants money to spill the beans on Jim Bakker. That's why he's not ratting him out yet.

Grandma Char Groupie said...

It is obvious from his Tweets that Nate is speaking about Bakker being more concerned with $$$ and public fame than ministry and he could not be more correct! One day I hope he does spill the beans because he will be doing the world a big favor since he is a person who knows exactly what the real truth is. It won't be too long till Maria will turn 18 and, if they are still interested in each other, they can get together then. When Bakker's top "student" confirms what everyone here has been saying all along, it should be a wake up call to any present "student" or misguided parent who wants to lock up their child in the mountains with a convicted con man and somehow think that is going to lead to a better life. I wish the IRS would get right down to exactly how Bakker is able to lead the plush lifestyle he leads on a salary, he says, that is only $400 a week. Some funny business is going on somewhere and I would like to see it end real soon.

Nedzo said...

C'mon now, I don't want to see it end.
This is the BEST REALITY show on the TUBE!!!
What would we do without that cast of characters?? OH Sasha, are you still there???
She must be sleeping in one of those tents that King Bakker is hocking!!

Anonymous said...

I can't believe what I just heard. Today on the net Jim has the water doctor, who is not a doctor. They were talking about the paved road. Jim says that valley club members can stay in the campground as much as they want for free. Then he says the offer is the same for the PTL members. Here is the big big thing, he goes on to say that when they get lodging built, PTL members can stay there for free. That was the end of PTL when he started telling donors that they can stay in a hotel for free. He is starting to go really deep. I hope the Feds are listening.

Anonymous said...

In Jim's book, he says that when he got out of prison, he was flat broke. His daughter had no home so he bought her a trailer to live in. Where did the money come from??

Anonymous said...

I'm wondering where grandma char was when her daughter was on drugs for years and had 5 abortions. Did she not notice? Maybe she just couldn't help her, but she's cashing in NOW! Good for her!!

Anonymous said...

What I think is SO funny...you all! If you don't like Jim or his ministry..don't watch it..but it looks like some of you are hooked LOL Good gravy let it go. or maybe you can't get any more channels then what Jim is on! Don't you have better things to do?

Dave said...

It's my understanding that Jim's current wife is some really wild pussy--I'll tell you--I'd love to tear that up!!!!