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ELSIE & THE PENTECOSTALS and TELEVANGELIST

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Jim Bakker scribbles on Zach, talks junk with Bill Whaley part 3

Gord Pedersen: 'How does that Silver Sol shit work again?'
This is the final post for this episode. If you haven't already read the first part, please click here for part 1 of Jim Bakker scribbles on Zach, talks junk with Bill Whaley.

I wasn't aware that Dr Gordon Pedersen was the man behind Silver Sol, but he's the one in the commercial so now he owns it in my book. He tells us some gobbledy-gook about his miracle tonic, explaining that the particles of silver are so tiny that they can 'enter a red blood cell'. He says this is good because there's nothing to 'irritate or agitate', and that the particles of silver are just there to 'kill the germs'. I haven't been following the Silver Sol scene, but this sounds very, very stupid to me. Why would anyone voluntarily ingest something that is going to enter their blood cells and 'kill the germs'? How does silver know the difference between a germ and a blood cell? This sounds like an experiment the Japanese would do on Allied POWs to see how long they'd survive. Why would anyone even waste their time with this? It's so stupid it's laughable.

This is what happens when you follow Jim Bakker's advice
I did a little looking on this Dr Gordon Pedersen. Don't let the white lab coat fool you, because Gordon Pedersen is not a medical doctor. He has a PhD from a toxicology program which sounds promising, but in this press release he's billed as the “Anti-Aging Master Formulator” which causes my quack-alert siren to whoop loudly inside my head. I don't feel very comfortable here, Mr Pedersen. Didn't this silver stuff turn some guy's skin blue like a smurf not too long ago? I think I'll pass on your miracle tonic this time around. My body already does a good enough job 'killing the germs' and you know what they say: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. I'll tell you what though: When I'm on my deathbed, I'll take a swig and see if it does anything for me. Does it cure dying?

Jim Bakker's Blue Skin Ointment w/ bonus Amoeba Pot, $88
Zach announces a Silver Sol package for $600, then Sasha announces a case of 50 for $900. These packages come with Neti Pots. Why hasn't Jim told us the scary stories involving Neti Pots and brain-eating amoebas? Hasn't he heard about the people who have died after using them? It's strange to think that nobody on that stage has heard about the Neti Pot amoebas, and it makes me wonder if Jim's hiding the truth a little bit there so as not to cut into his own product sales. Blue skin coloring and brain-eating amoebas...that's two strikes against this Silver Sol package already. Yet Jim Bakker is still selling it with no mention at all about these serious risks? Doesn't sound very honest to me, Pastor Bakker.

Lori says "Wow!" while Jim gulps air
We're out of the commercial and back to the Junk Man Show with Jim Bakker. Jim asks a question designed to lead Whaley into a product demonstration, but the Junk Man's having none of it. These are direct quotes:
Jim:I've read that you help street people stay warm...One of the biggest problems people are going to have is when the power goes out. How do you keep from freezing?”
Junk Man:Let's go to the street first.”
Jim:Okay.
Jim just has to sit there and take it. He's on the couch, leaning on his knee and staring at Whaley, but he's powerless to do anything. The old coot just keeps going on. For her part, Lori loves listening to this guy. She turns to the camera and mouths the word 'Wow!' as Whaley talks.

Whaley grabs his papers as Jim dreams of a happy place
Uh oh, Whaley just stepped over into la-la land. Now he's talking governmental conspiracy against the poor, the homeless, and the 'working people'. He's using the fingers on his hands to count off each targeted group. Jim, you need to step in and stop this now. A man uncovering conspiracy at this level is a man that the government will do everything to silence. The FBI probably has a file as a thick as a book on this Whaley character, hell there's probably agents in your audience right now keeping tabs on him. You don't need this kind of heat Jim, you don't need it!


The Junk Kook spices things up with conspiracy talk
Whaley has now reached for a stack of papers to expose a Senate Bill designed, according to the Junk Kook, to outlaw people from growing gardens. Lori's little mind has been blown by this conspiracy. We hear her off-camera saying, "Unbelievable. Unbelievable". With his stack of papers in one hand, Whaley employs use of his other hand to count off even more targeted groups. He's talking farming, saying something about us controlling the food. He then says, 'Guess who else we control?' Then bam, an edit arrives just in time. Just in time to save Whaley's life, and possibly everyone at Morningside. Whatever information he had was bound to uncover conspiracy at the highest levels of government. They will stop at nothing, Bill, nothing. Now I understand why you live 'off the grid'.

The Junk Kook's audio was cut. What secrets did he expose?
The edit was abrupt, and now it goes straight to Bakker. Jim feeds into Whaley's conspiracy a little bit, talking about some weird government crackdown on an Amish farmer selling raw milk. The camera shows Whaley with a smirk on his face while he points to his papers and speaks, but there's no sound because it's an edit job. Wow, I wonder how long he droned on for before the kids cut him off in the editing room? How much more conspiracy is lying on the Jim Bakker Show cutting room floor? Maybe Jim Bakker himself is part of the conspiracy to silence the Junk Kook...you ever think of that one, Bill?

Finally, Bakker has taken back a little control. He moves from the Amish farmer straight into Lori's House, telling us that he's being called 'evil' for building a home to save babies. No Jim, that's not why you are called evil. You are called evil because you prey on the elderly and mentally-incompetent, earning their trust specifically so you can take their money. You are called evil not because you are building a home to save babies, Jim, but because you lie about why people call you evil.

Bakker: 'Oh my God, I've invited a lunatic onto my show.'
Jim turns back to Bill and pleads with him, “We can't get political. They'll put me away, Bill.” That's Jim's way of saying, 'Knock off the soapbox shit and get to the trinkets'. Bakker asks the Junk Kook how we can stay warm if the power grid goes down. Hey Bill, I'll take this one for you. Jim, the secret is layers. Thermals, jackets, whatever you have in the closet. You know the way you're dressed when you go outside in the cold? Just dress like that inside. Add a blanket if you need to. Burn some wood in a fireplace, maybe even roast some marshmallows! Next question please.


Whaley pouts after Jim shoots down his conspiracy theory
The Junk Kook was still thumbing the pages of his conspiracy documents when Jim told him to knock it off. I'm pretty sure he's pissed off now because he's acting like a bratty child who was just told to sit still at a Christmas party. He's back to flopping his hands up and down on the arms of his chair, and he has a little smirk on his face. Bill Whaley, a sixty-something man who once flew choppers in Vietnam, is pouting.

The Junk Kook doesn't like being silenced. Without neighbors, he pretty much lives in silence all the time save for his dumpster divin' wife. Deep down inside, I think what Bill Whaley wants are friends, people to talk to and people to listen. Unfortunately, years of living like a mountain man have made him strange. Picking through garbage is strange. Dreaming up conspiracy is strange. If he were a kid, he could break out of that strangeness bubble and live normally like everyone else. But the Junk Kook is already into his sixties. There's no changing a man who's had that much time to become weird. So, the Junk Kook's inner desire for friendship will never be satisfied unless he finds a friend who is also strange. And that'll just make him weirder.

Bill Whaley angrily snatches bag off table
Since the Junk Kook is pouting, he didn't accept Jim's first invitation to tell us all how to keep warm. Now Jim has to really prod him into action. Jim chooses his words carefully, saying “You have so many things, I don't know which ones you want to go to first. Do you want me to pick or do you want to tell me?” That bratty child who was told to sit down is now being told to pick a present and open it while everyone watches. Whaley angrily snatches an empty plastic bread bag off the table. This guy is cracking me up, he's really pissed off that Jim told him to stop with the conspiracy crap. He hoists the bag over his head and, in a condescending tone, asks everyone on stage what they would do with it. He has such a look of disdain on his face as he asks this, he's just dying to point his finger at everyone on stage and call them dummies.

Bill Whaley: 'I'm holding gasoline in my hand you dummies.'
After a pause, Bakker says he would throw the bag away. Kevin follows the leader and says he would throw it away too. At this point, I think they want to throw Bill Whaley away with the bag too. The Junk Kook looks down his nose at us and says, “I'm holding gasoline in my hand.” Kevin Shorey feigns shock at this announcement, and Whaley reiterates that the plastic bag can be converted to gasoline. He once again holds his prized plastic bag up, and then we get a very long, awkward pause. I thought my DVR froze, but nope that's just the deafening sound of silence on stage. Whaley has completely killed any amount of viewer interest in him with his pouting act, and now he's going nuts with the bread bag. Everyone, and I mean every single person on that stage, is on the defensive with him. They've all now realized that he's a lunatic.

Whaley's 'latex glove': The bane of canines everywhere.
The plastic bag is not just gasoline, Whaley tells us. It's also a latex glove that can be used to pick up dog 'droppings'. I'm very suspicious of this statement, Bill. Out in my neck of the woods, we don't associate latex gloves with dog crap. We associate them with people crap, and more specifically, the holes where the people crap comes from. Are you bread-bagging your hands and giving rectal examinations out there in 'off-the-grid' land? And who are you examining? There are exactly two people in those woods where you live, plus one unlucky dog. Please don't tell me you're...I just...don't you dare hurt that dog, Bill.

Bill Whaley's dog being inspected for worms
Whaley goes on about the multi-use bread bag. He uses it to store butchered chickens in the freezer, and god knows what else. He also puts his skid-marked underwear, ratty t-shirts and mismatched socks in the bag so they don't get wet. What about bread, Bill, do you ever put bread in the bag?

Bill wears the bags on his feet in the wintertime. He says he puts them on his feet, then puts socks over them to keep his feet warm. You're a military man, Bill. Isn't that a recipe for trench foot? Or do you use the water generated by your sweaty, suffocating feet for brushing your teeth?

Whaley ends his childish tirade by asking a question. With his prized bag once again held up with both hands and a voice filled with utter contempt, he turns to Jim and Lori and asks, “Why would I throw it away?” As he asks, he jingles the bag ends so that the plastic makes noise.

Jim talks Whaley down off the ledge as Lori daydreams
Jim got a lot more than he bargained for with this guest. Jim is sweating, oh man is he sweating. He moves to a new question, and as he poses it he sounds like a psychiatrist trying to keep a wild-eyed mental patient from setting himself on fire.

Bakker is really shaken. He says, “Bill, what you're telling us is we can use the things around us to survive. We don't have to lay down and die.” Whaley is folding the plastic bag into a neat square as Jim speaks. Bakker looks to the audience for applause and gets it, and then we see Jim with a look of worry on his face as he gulps down a mouthful of air. Disaster averted, but what's up next?

Bill Whaley loves knowing more about garbage than we do
Whaley has lightened up now. The tension was cut by the applause, and now Bill Whaley feels respected again. He grabs another piece of garbage, an empty spaghetti sauce jar. Actually, I wouldn't classify this one as garbage if you have liquids you want to store. It depends on the liquid, of course. I might use it for pickled eggs, while the Junk Kook might use it for urine bombs. Let's see.

God, Whaley is so obnoxious. He has a way of speaking that is demeaning to all around him. Lori picks up on it subconsciously, because now she's referring to him as 'sir'. He's an asshole without justification. He tells all of us dummies that we can use the sauce jar as a measuring cup. He also says that we can use it to serve drinks in. He suggests giving it to children to drink from, so if they break it they “don't break your good stuff.” You know what I would use your glass jar for, Bill? A baseball. I would tee that sucker right up, then shatter it into a million unusable pieces with a baseball bat. Oh hey, give me that bread bag too, it'll make a great noise maker. Just blow it up full of air, hold the open side closed, then clap your hands together quickly. Pop!

A frozen Jim Bakker tries to figure a way out of this debacle
Jim is frozen solid on the couch. Lori reacts well to assholes, she likes that sort of leadership, but Jim doesn't. He's not quite sure what to do here.

Now the Junk Kook grabs a 2-liter bottle that he chopped in half. It's not chopped well, it looks like he hacked it in half with a butter knife or clipped it down with nail clippers. I also can't rule out the possibility that he had his wife bite through it. Whaley is finding his groove now. He leans back in the chair and asks, “What can you do with a 2-liter bottle?” See that's the problem, Bill, it's the way you introduce your items. Stop asking us what we can do with your garbage and just show us instead.

Plastic bottle that Whaley's wife bit in half
You ask us questions that you think we can't answer in order to make us feel small. But it's not that we can't answer them, it's that we don't really care. You deal in garbage, the stuff I toss out with a smile on my face. Whenever I have to go back into my garbage to find something that was thrown out accidentally, I don't smile. I grimace and I hold my nose, and sometimes I even ask my wife for help because it's so disgusting to me. When you pose questions designed to make people feel dumb for not knowing the ins-and-outs of the garbage heap, you fail in your quest for friendship. Normal people don't like that.

From the 2-liter bottle, Whaley says he can make a water filter, ice holder, and funnel. Bakker breaks free from his daze and jumps on the funnel idea. Jim grabs the funnel from the table and tells us how we could use it to add gas to our cars if we needed to. Does Jim not know that gas cans come with spouts? I'll go one further: Does Jim not know that funnels can be purchased for a couple dollars at Home Depot? With the dollar Jim gave Lori earlier in the show, they're already halfway down the road to funnel ownership. See how easy that is, Jim?

Papa Whaley took little Jimmy's funnel toy away from him
Whaley isn't having any of Jim's gas-can funnel crap. He takes the funnel away from Bakker like a parent taking scissors from a toddler and completely ignores Jim's suggestion. I get the feeling that the Junk Man is thinking, 'Thanks for humoring us buddy, but let's leave the survival stuff to the experts.' Jim was still talking as Whaley took the funnel back from him, he even looked to his audience for support while stammering out, “Isn't that a good..good idea?” I hate to say it, but I'm actually starting to pull for Bakker in this fight. Whaley's a total jackass and needs to be put in his place. If Bill were an ass because he doesn't like Bakker, I'd be on his side. He isn't though. Bill Whaley's an ass because Bill Whaley's an ass.

"...teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime."
Ugh, the Junk Man tells us something about poking holes in the bottle, stitching it with twine, and adding bread crumbs to make a 'minnow catcher' for fishing. What happened to you out there in that Vietnamese jungle, Bill? What did you see that's got you so spooked? You're back home in America now, Bill. You don't need to do this, we are friendlies and you are safe. You can go to the store and buy bait from an honest man who is happy to sell to you. Hell, you can even skip the bait and just buy a fish! Don't worry, you will not encounter any VC here. No land mines, no crushed glass in your Pepsi. Just relax sir and calm down. Now please tell me: Are you carrying any knives or other weapons on your person right now?

'Wait 'till the Feds get a load of my urine bombs, muhahaha!'
Whaley is still obsessing over the bottle. He's showing us how he can add one of his black-painted glass bottles inside the larger plastic bottle, fill one of the two with soup (I don't know which), and cook the soup outside in the sun. As he's configuring this thing, it's making all kinds of annoying ripping and tearing noises as he tries to fit everything together. Why Bill? Why would I waste my time? What you are showing us is so unimportant, it really is. If I had a choice between doing all that menial crap to sun-cook my soup, or just eating cold soup...I'll eat cold soup, Bill. Really, I would.
[Bill Whaley] [showing me how to configure the soup cooker] "So you just take this piece here and add this part...wait, hold on, I think I'm missing something."
[Ron] [eyes glossing over] "It's okay Bill, I don't need all that stuff. I'll just eat it cold."
[Bill Whaley] [shock bordering on offense] "Cold soup? Who wants to eat cold soup!? Just gimme a second, there's a piece missing. We'll get your soup cooking in no time!"
[Ron] [looks at watch] "Bill, it's...it's fine. Can I have my soup back please?
[Bill Whaley] [red-faced and aggressive] "No you cannot have your soup back please, I haven't shown you how to heat it yet! Just give me a second."
[Ron] "These aren't seconds anymore, these are minutes now and I'm hungry."

Bill growls threateningly.

[Ron] [laughing] "Why are you getting so upset?"
[Bill Whaley] [screaming] "I'm not upset!"

Bill Whaley rubs his 40-grit palms together
Jim refers to Whaley's soup-warming contraption as a 'solar cooker'. I'm not sure that 'cooker' is the right word as I don't think anyone will be sizzling bacon in it anytime soon, but whatever. It gets hot, wow. Bill also says we can take a sand-filled soda can, paint it black, then set it in the sun to make a hand warmer. Ahhh, Bill knows just how to make things nice and cozy on those crisp Ozark mornin's. Bill really lays it on us thick with the hand warmer, even rubbing his hands together as he describes it. The sound his hands make when rubbed together are like sandpaper on a wood deck. Don't let the dumpy looks fool you, because the Junk Man isn't all about business: He's pleasure too.

The Junk Kook snaps rubber band off yet more garbage
Jim asks Bill what else he has for show-and-tell. I hope this is over soon because my Bill Whaley Junk-O-Meter is running into the red zone. I'm very near to experiencing a junk overdose, and I'm considering buying a furnace for all of my garbage to prevent it from falling into the hands of the other Bill Whaleys of the world.

Bill asks one of the Master's Media kids to pass him a piece of garbage that's out of reach. It's yet another crinkly piece of plastic. If this guy lived next door to me, he would drive me bonkers. I recycle. I have plastic and glass bottles wrapped up in bags on the side of my house, not stacked, just lying out there nice and clean, awaiting the few times each year when I have time to unload it all at the recycling center. If Bill lived next door, I just know that guy would be breaking my balls every couple weeks or so, asking if he could have my plastic. I'd have to tell him no, but then I'd realize that he's looking at my house and probably rooting through my garbage at night when I'm sleeping. I'd be powerless to stop him. It would drive me nuts.

The Junk Tornado unwraps loudly while Lori tries to speak
Whatever Whaley's next piece of garbage is, he has it encased in a plastic bag. Is that to keep it clean? He snaps off two rubber bands from the bag and starts unraveling the treasure inside. Meanwhile, Lori is talking, or at least trying to talk. She's saying something about the Master's Media kids, but Bill keeps driving on with his unpacking. He's like a Junk Tornado: All we see and hear is the crinkling of plastic, rubber bands snapping, and cups or pieces of cups flying about. Whaley's in his zone now, he has no time for Lori's child's play and small talk. Lori's voice trails off as she completes her sentence and stares at Bill, then we all listen and watch for a few awkward seconds as the Junk Tornado finishes unpacking. The ball is back in Whaley's court now.

Bill Whaley struggling to snug his water filter down tight
"This is a coffee creamer bottle. I just cut the bottom off of it." Whaley's face is glowing, he loves this stuff. "I went down to Walmart for $7 and bought me one of those Brita pitcher filters." Bill then drops one of those 'Brita pitcher filters' into his creamer bottle. It's a near perfect fit. Bill pulls down hard on the other end of the filter, you can see the strain on his face as he snugs the filter into the plastic bottle and seats it. He holds it up for us to see and declares proudly, "Now I got a water filter that'll filter 40 gallons of water anywhere I want to go with it." Bill, my good man...what you call a water filter, I call a smoking gun. Did you know that Jim Bakker actually sells expensive Seychelle water filters for over 3 times the price you just mentioned? In fact, the chair your sitting in was probably still warm from Dr Seychelle's last visit! Don't know who Dr Seychelle is, Bill? Well let me describe him for you, you might like him!

Detective Bill Whaley holds the smoking gun for all to see
First off, Dr Seychelle is not really a doctor at all, but Jim insists on calling him one and the fake doctor doesn't seem to mind. His real name is Carl Palmer. He has a face full of plastic surgery, is the CEO of a multi-million dollar company, and has what might be called a 'trophy wife' who operates as a 'Holistic Dental Hygienist'. That sound like your kinda' people, Bill? Or can I just call you 'Dr Whaley'...it'll make people trust you more!

You want conspiracy, Bill, well you just got one. A real one this time. You are now in competition with the fake Dr Seychelle and his froggy little buddy, Jim Bakker. You are on a show whose sole intent is to sell product. You, Bill, with all your quirks, are still at heart trying to help people. If you thought that's what Jim Bakker was about, you've made a mistake. The Jim Bakker Show is designed for product-sales, not people-helping. Showing people how to make a cheap water filter is a noble effort on your part, but in Jim's calculating mind, why would he give people something for free when he can charge them for it instead?

Jim got away from the $7 water filter real quick
Jim's subdued response to Bill's water filter: "Oh my lamb." Bakker had no idea this was going to happen and I can see the wheels turning in his mind, trying to figure out how to brush this under the rug as fast as possible without people catching on. We get one more sentence from Bill before edit: "That's how simple it is to have good clean water." Jim says, haltingly, "It really is. What's next?" Lori is next to Jim with a smile plastered on her face, but I can see her little mind chugging along as well. I'm pretty sure she caught on to the water filter fiasco too, but hell for all I know she's daydreaming about sex and crack-pipes. You never really know with Lori...one minute she's thinking about abortion, the next minute she's thinking about balloons.

Biker Chick Max tries to remember how much Jim's filters cost
As I said, a heavy edit took place here. The next time we see Bill he's snapping a rubber band back onto the plastic-covered water filter set that took him so long to unwrap earlier. No statement on this, Pastor Bakker? Shouldn't you be suggesting to us all that we save our money on pricey Seychelle filters and just build Dr Whaley's $7 filters instead?

We're back to Jim's first question about how to keep people warm, and Bakker once again refers to homeless people as 'street people'. Whaley grabs a large tin can and starts pulling metal objects out of it while Jim is still talking. Clank, clink, clunk. I know you're off the grid Bill, but I think someone is eventually going to find you out there because of all the noise you make. Do you get a lot of hungry bears out your way?

Bill Whaley removes small metal can from large metal can
The Junk Man is glowing again. I get the feeling he could talk junk, garbage and scavenging all day and night, then continuing on into the morning. Bill Whaley fails among men, but at the garbage heap he reigns supreme. Bill grabs Jim's sharpie, the same one used to write on Zach's forehead, and draws a square on the tin can. He tells us that we can cut out the square of tin, bend it over a stick, and 'put a nail through it' to make a frying pan. I have to say, when Bil grabbed the Zach sharpie and started drawing I was expecting a little more from him then a piece of tin attached to a stick. Let's throw that one out Bill, it's sort of lame. Even a gorilla could figure that one out. And by gorilla, I mean Zach Drew.

'Scuse me brother, any sausage cans to spare?
If we want to make a heater instead, Bill tells us to add a couple inches of dirt or sand to the tin can. Then we take a Vienna Sausage tin can, add wax and some pipe cleaners to make a candle. Bill, this one's even more lame. Where am I going to find an empty Vienna Sausage can? Do I need to find a hobo in a train car and rifle through his plaid knapsack while he's passed out drunk? And if I already have wax, wouldn't I also already have a candle? Bill, did you know they make things called tealight candles that can be purchased for less than a twenty cents a piece? You need to get out more and stop handling so much garbage, I think all the toxic metals have started to turn your brain into pudding.

Bill's still driving on with his candle heater. He tells us to place the sausage-can candle into the big tin can, then take a "big 62 oz juice can", poke holes in it and place it over the top of this unwieldy contraption to make a tiny, ineffective heater. I wouldn't even know what a 62 oz juice can looks like, but Bill has the sucker memorized. You've been hanging around the garbage heap for far too long Bill. Here's a life tip: If you converse with more rodents each day than people, then you need a serious change of lifestyle. It's not healthy for your mind.

Jim asked the Junk Kook for his thoughts on the economy
Bakker wants some fear-mongering from Whaley to close the show with. Jim asks the Junk Kook, a man completely unqualified to give answers on, well, anything, if he thinks the dollar is going to 'totally collapse'. Whaley says that this year the 'financial institution' is going to hit everybody and it's going to hit us hard. Jim Bakker, of course, loves hearing the unqualified Bill Whaley predict economic disaster. He looks to the audience and says, "Now listen to what he's saying people. This is what I've been trying to warn you and warn you and warn you..."

I'll get by just fine without your plastic bread bag, Bill
Finally, the show winds down. Bakker asks Whaley to address the critics who call his gimmick stupid. Whaley tells us "your dollar's gettin' littler every day", and asks, "What happens when you can't buy this?" Bill, if I'm so stupid that I can't figure out how to stay warm with all the extra clothes in my closet, or how to crack open a can of Campbell's soup and eat it, then I guess I'll just die. That really sums it up for me, I'd rather lose out and die then spend my life living in fear of ridiculous things like roving gangs, dying of thirst, starving, or freezing to death. I'm not a settler on the frontier.

But let's be honest here: The scary world you describe is not going to happen in our lifetime. We don't live in Sudan, we live in America. Among other things, we have police, military, business, and multiple layers of government filled with fellow citizens who have a vested interest in keeping everything under control. The doom-speakers and fear-mongers like Jim Bakker know this too. That's why they take cold hard cash as payment for their products and speaking engagements. They prey on dimwits who've been watching too many scary movies. Think about it for a second: if Jim Bakker really thought the world was going to fall apart, wouldn't he be doing something to prevent it instead of catering to it?

How much did Jim Bakker pay for your integrity, Bill?
Bakker ends the show with one final pitch for his Wheat Buckets. The high hopes I had for Bill Whaley's integrity have now vanished, because Jim tells us that every $100 Wheat Bucket sold today comes with a free DVD of the Junk Kook in action. We see Bill sitting in his chair, twiddling his thumbs and smiling as if he just swallowed a canary. Bill must be thinking that he pulled a fast one over on Jim, but believe me Bill, the only one pulling a fast one in this relationship is Jim Bakker. You are a tadpole swimming with the largest toad in the swamp, and he's been swimming in this swamp for years.

The show ends, then we get a five-minute commercial for foodbuckets.

2,815 comments:

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Anonymous said...

tartpop,

What Jim doesn't say the ministry pays for are Pokeberry houses and Grace Street swimming pools hidden behind elaborate fake Feed Stores

@tokyodisney said...

Did Jim want donations SPECIFICALY for the giant statue??

I thought he was soliciting for $$$ for the statue.

That could be another area of interest...anyone recall?

Anonymous said...

He also doesn't say the ministry pays for 23 foot speedboats either!

007sdoll said...

Is there really reason to think the ministry paid for his boat?
Seriously or is that a joke?

Anonymous said...

If the ministry paid for a 23 foot boat, that has got to be a violation of something.

It seemd like its wrong from two angles.

1. he owes the IRS
2. how can a church justify buying a boat

Brother Dortch said...

Thanks to Joe C, who contributed another valuable nugget of information about this boat when he went to the Stone County Courthouse (which I forgot to mention in my last posting here) the court records do clearly show that the 23 foot boat is in the name of the ministry.

Thank-you Joe C...again!

Now, for all the rest of you Bakker backers out there, can any one of you tell me how the church purchasing a 23 foot speed boat has anything whatsoever to do with spreading the gospel of The Lord Jesus Christ throughout the world?

@tokyodisney said...

Can we get more info on this boat purchase?

The possible violations listed above are for sure on target but also how can you have your greedy paw out for $$$$ for Lori's HOuse if you are wasting it on boats?

Let's get more info on the boat. The more info we get on here the better

@tokyodisney said...

oops, I didnt see Bro d had the boat info, ok we got it.

damn this is a front page story for some reporter!!!

@tokyodisney said...

Bro D

Do you have info on the statue?
Was he selling the little statues to pay for the big one?

Tanya said...

jimnlorislamb: there was an episode of the show where Jim spoke at length about the train he had built that comes out at ceiling-level. Jim said it was all built out of re-claimed parts, and cost a fraction of what it would if he had used new parts... he felt it showed creativity, and he thought it would be nice for children. Someone already pointed out here that children are unlikely to be able to see it.

I've fast-forwarded my way through most of the Rabbi shows, because they are mostly selling, or mind-numbing repetition of what the Rabbi said the first time he was at Morningside. Jim Bakker promised part 2 of the Harbinger, if anything new was there, I didn't find it. The only new thing I noticed was the selling of the audiobook and the free issue of Charisma magazine. Good bit of cross-promotion there.

I found Lori a touch creepy in these episodes - every time they showed the wedding photo of the Rabbi and his wife she would repeat "she's so beeeeeautiful... beeeautiful..." And did the Rabbi say that his wife was born on the day he was born-again? He said he was born-again at 20... was he saying there is a 20 year age difference? I could be wrong, as I said, so much selling and repetition, I wasn't completely focused. Bottom line, the Rabbi creeps me out a little.

And unsurprisingly, not one Bakker-supporter has provided any concrete information about how their thought processes work. More diversions, though, we get plenty of those.

If not one person can explain their reasoning behind supporting Jim Bakker, then what do we have? Blind faith?

Tanya said...

@tokyodisney: Jim Bakker was selling little statues for $1000 - and also promised that people who gave $1000 would get their name on a plaque on the base of the statue. As you can see, there is no plaque on the statue. I believe it was SusanD who said Jim said in a live stream that there was no point getting the plaque made until the giving had stopped - but the statue is at Morningside now, so surely it has been paid for. How many countries overseas do you know who take credit (Jim said it was made overseas)? Yet another example of money being raised and going... we don't know.

And - there is another Jesus statue on the horizon. Jim Bakker found a statue of Jesus (with a lamb) that will be perfect for Lori's House, and has already said he is having smaller versions made, and wants a larger version for the front of the house.

How long before Jim starts begging for money for the new Jesus statue?

Brother Dortch said...

Miss Tanya,

I mean you no offense but, if you continue posting like that here on this site, it is highly doubtful you will ever be invited to go to the student dorm and make an appearance on JimBob's new television station if it is ever built!

Anonymous said...

Tanya,



is Lori (after 5 abortions) at a point where she would allow this Lori's House to be used and sort of dicked around with as a fund raiser?
I thought maybe she had some nugget of goodness. she did take in all those kids.

Anonymous said...

Another FRiggin statue?
He is so insane

If that LOri's House is ever built how would they ever pay the staff to run it and all the expenses?

He looks real thin, maybe he wont be around much longer. The beard makes him look older and skankier

Anonymous said...

Does Jim do any prison minstry???

When he popped up with his book after prison he swore that he wanted to devote himself to helping prisoners.

Also, speaking of prison, HSN and QVC and SHOPNBC probably dont take kindly to the fact that they pay tax out the ass and Jim is running a tax exempt Home Shopping Network

Anonymous said...

Speaking of prison meant maybe the other tv shopping networks might turn him in...forgot that part

Jessica said...

Anonymous @3:13 p.m. You sounded crabby when you posted "Nobody "in the know" is going to accommodate us hungry trolls any longer". Really? What does that even mean?

Trolls you say! Well, I had to think about that slang. I do post with my real name so actually I'm not a troll. Can you explain what a "hungry" troll is and how it applies to anything?

Lastly, tell us who the "in the know" are. Is it Jesus? Is it Lori?...could it be Jason Wert? Or, maybe its The Jim Bakker Foodbucket Fanpage and the 200,000+ viewers of this blog.

Anonymous said...

The $$$$$ for the boat and the pool and the Pokeberry House could have gone to a battered women's shelter or some good cause.

How any person could buy this man's shit is beyond me.

Anonymous said...

With the ultra nigh poverty rate in the Ozarks, the boat, pool and Pokeberry money could have done a great deal of good.
The people buying his end times junk thought it was donating to a ministry not buying the above mentioned shit.
There are people going without dental and medical care all over Jims area. There are kid in need of shoes and coats.
This fucker needs to be in a meeting with the FCC and MO AG ASAP.
Bakker zombies, please defend..please

Anonymous said...

What will soon be a million dollar student studio is also a total waste of money. Considering Bakker only tapes shows on Tues, Wed, and Thursday and, on some weeks only just two days a week, his own studio on Grace Street sits unused. The kids could be using that one all day long. Considering their student tapes are always less than five-minutes long, it would not take a great amount of time for them to record anything they wish to record. The building of a new studio is a waste of money. Also, using Jim's studio would have made them better free employees for Bakker since they would be training on the actual equipment they are going to use each and every day.

catfinger said...

i was totally shocked at the epsiodes where theres almost NO mention of GOD until Jim needs him.

Jim ignores God until he lets us know we need his stuff becuase God is going to kill us offwith floods and earthquakes and roaming gangs.

I am confident my God and His son have a better way out for me than eating buckets of slop peddled by a 72 year old pervert who couldnt tell the truth if his mother's life depended on it.

With the end coming, is Pokeberry a safer place to hunker down than Grace Street?

Anonymous said...

The only end that should be coming is the end to this total and complete madness Bakker is forcing the elderly who watch him to believe is actually true!

Anonymous said...

I don't watch the show so I'm curious about this million dollar studio that Jim wants for the kids, is he totally nuts?! What Jim and company won't let the supporters of this quack ministry know is several years ago Jim had a trailer parked in the back lot at Morningside filled with thousands of $,s worth of tv's and equipment. Someone backed up in the middle of the night, hooked up that trailer and drove off. It was to be kept hush, hushed. Now I wonder why they tried to hush this story up. Did they knew who drove off with it? Do you think the equipment was insured? Did they call the police? What was the point of making sure the theft wasn't found out? There is a lot of funny business going on out there in that "christian" village!

Anonymous said...

PS to my above post at 7:07 am.

I know the story of the above post to be the truth. I heard about the theft directly from someone in the Bakker family.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

The madness of the Bakker cult will peak when frog faced Bakker demands a statue made of himself. I wonder if it will have him fake crying?

clint said...

You blokes are just whistling in the dark, you'll never bring down the Bakker dynasty. Bakker is also a private citizen, he's entitled to have boats and cars and houses. I'm sure a lot of those items are "gifts" from people who Bakker has helped in the past. You won't stop that. Contact those generous gift givers and they'll tell you to "beat it". Jessica, that dude was correct in his statements, you do put Bakker on a more personal level then the rest of these bloggers. I don't think that is a healthy way to go about it. But it's your affair. Joe C. has no legal obligation but as I see it he has a moral obligation to disclose what really happened. That;s right he's a Marine, but where is the Corp's honor if he does not follow through. Where is the "espirit de corps". Lead, follow or get out of the way!

Truthseeker said...

I believe that Jim once stated he was part owner of Food For Health where most of the products he peddles comes from and Frank Davis is the CEO.

Bro D, if Joe C didnt want to talk about the meeting he shouldnt have brought it up in the first place. He told us all about when the meeting was taking place and told all of his supporters here he would let us know what happened. Since then he has become mum on it only giving a false number to Uncle Henry? Also, dont give him so much credit as another blogger was the one who informed us about the boat and property purchase.

Anonymous said...

As Bro D said, call the number and talk to Joe C or keep your complaints to yourself. Excuses, excuses!

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Eyes, Right Clint!
Forward March You Zombie Freak!
Get That Gut In!


Old bloke Clint is a zombie quack.
And Bakker's got him by his sack.
Mmm, good!
Feels good!
Is good!
Real good!
Tastes good!
Mighty good!
Good for you!
Good for me!

Craig said...

clint, you basically admit that you are part of the fiefdom by calling the cult a dynasty. Hope you enjoyed your bakker cereal this morning.

Truthseeker, the phone number is real. I talked to Joe C. It was an interesting and enjoyable chat. Uncle Henry should man up and call or shut up about it.

Anonymous said...

What is security like at Morningside?

Asking for 2 reasons

a. @PTL Jim was obsessedwith security

b. Morningside looks really far from everything and with all those old people and the theft of the trailer. Do they have anyone to watch the place?

Jimhelpmelikeyou said...

Froggie Trivia

When the frog was living in Los Angeles after prison he had plastic surgery in Palm Springs.

I cant remember if he was married to Lori but I think he was.
So, this guy has been out of jail maybe 2 years and gets a facelift.
There were photos of his ass coming out the back of the plastic surgeons office. This when he claimed he was penniless.

Anonymous said...

On the blog its been mentioned Lori has a plastic surgeon in florida.

Do we know this or just sort of a guess?

Anonymous said...

I dont get this oddball stuff about attacking this guy named JoeC.

That said, wondered when JoeC met Bakker if Jim knew Joe had posted about the boat?
Would think JIm would have had a birch fit

@tokyodisney said...

Do they ever or have they ever explained the Crawford/Bakker/Grace Street deal?

Did Crawford sell the condos and Jim's ministry had no part?
There seem to be a great great many empty units for nightly rental so cant see how Crawford made money.
Also, heating and cooling Grace street must be freaking expensive.
On Google you can see MLS listings for a few Grace St condos..dont look all that well designed

Anonymous said...

They need to get those kids in camouflage uniforms with a certain amount of security training. Post them throughout the Morningside compound. Arm them if necessary. That would stop the crooks. It is fairly easy to get access to firearms in hill country. They got the man power, all they need is direction.

Anonymous said...

10:36.

I'm certain when that meeting took place Bakker read Joe C. the riot act. Don't forget Bakker did 4 years hard time in the can, so I'm sure he can be pretty tough. Then Bakker has some pretty good bodyguards with Zach / Kevin tag team combo. I would not under estimate Joe C. though, all my dealings with Marines I've learned they can be pretty tough. They are a different breed.

Anonymous said...

Do we think Lori ever cussed Jim out at home?

Anonymous said...

Is Mondo's wife named Beth?
Whats Mondo Beth mean?

Troll Zombie said...

Unfortunately there is no evidence that the ministry funds were used to purchase the boat. It could have been a gift to the ministry from someone, and registered in the Morningside name.

That said, it seems to me the best use of that "donation" would be to sell it and use the money to fund one of the many projects Jim has his eye on.

Also, Jim said long ago that his plastic surgery was a gift from a friend and he regrets having it. The only proof you need to substantiate Lori's plastic surgery is a two second glance at her face.

Jessica said...

Clint @9:06a.m. Damn! You got me there. Yes, I would agree I post on a personal level. So why does it bother you?

Its just "my thing". You see, I don't like sexual predators and I don't like liars and cheats. Sounds like you admire and look up to people who commit frauds and you seem to get pleasure when they appear to get away with it. If that is what makes you happy, good for you.

You said Bakker's kingdom will never be brought down. Your probably right, but he only has a few years left before he is dead. There may be a new breed of con artists who will take it up a notch. After all, they have some big guys there at Moronside that will see the prize Bakker ended up with and will march on. Instead of zombies, they may have dancers and nymphs that will appeal to a younger crowd.

One thing for sure, excuse me Clint I'm emotional right now, Bakker's legacy will define him and more people than us on this blog will dig into the world of Bakkerdom, the rip off artist and the scammer who spoke the name of Jesus to get money.

I am not christian, so I believe when Bakker is dead he will have gotten away with it. Bakker lived his life proving that he didn't believe in an afterlife or Jesus, he will just be done. The laughs will be on the supporters who spent hours running around trying to fix his story.

Zombies will always feel proud that they were part of Bakker's life. Zombies don't have brains. They just get ramped up when they feel threatened by outsiders.

Thanks Clint for taking time to post your comments and say what you feel about me. Its just opinions and we can agree to disagree.

Remember...sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me..something like that.

Malarkey said...

BAKKER YOU WEASEL! Knock off this selling garbage, you snake oil peddler! If you're a preacher, preach! I'm sick and tired of this phoney baloney schtick you got going! Put Christ before profits for a change!

Pecker said...

I have doubts that someone donated a boat to the ministry.
It's possible but I doubt it.

We need to make use of this forum by directing the media here.

Pecker said...

In the archive there's a Christmas episode with a really really lengthy shot of the famed Feed Store pool.

Grange it was covered in lights but makes you wonder if anyone was pissed. Add to that a really hysterical shot of Jim dancing. If you want to shit your pants laughing watch it. He comes out on stage with Lori and dances a jig.

Has he had his testosterone levels checked?

Pecker said...

Earlier posts went back to PTL stuff and this really needs to focus on his current operation but I'll toss a bone.

Someone mentioned Taggart stealing and Jim turning a blind eye which is correct and in print.

Another nugget from then that got lost in the Jessica/air conditioned dog house story was the last minute preFalwell looting. Before Jessica, b
Bakker, Dortch, Taggart and Fulbright looted the ministry from mid January 87 til Falwell.
Jim says it was all fine till Falwell but in January before months before Falwell they thought an IRS agent was at PTL and started shredding documents.
Turned out it wasn't and suddenly the Bakker's and their posse took in like 2 months time what they had made the year before.
I think he knew he couldn't keep it going and was preparing.
His deal was to spend money from one deal and start another to pay the first ala Madoff.
With all the projects they have going now, Lori's house, statues, and bath houses it smells like the same turd

Pecker said...

One last comment,
They for sure have no PR people.
Buying the Pokeberry house was bad but he'll what known bisexual man builds a damn building and calls it a bathhouse?
That's Freudian

mcCafe said...

Do we think Jim places orders with Frank Davis as it's needed ie he doesn't just buy like 1,000 food buckets and hope they sell? I assume he gets orders and then submits to Davis?
If so, this could really be viewed as a distribution arm for Davis. Assume David isn't nonprofit.
There has to be a twist here thT makes this potentially illegal.

Teacherspet said...

If they are spending the Lori's House money on anything other than intended it's sick.

Craig said...

@mcCafe. jim and jerry jones both claimed that JBS has a protected area as far as the micro generator is concerned. Not sure about the buckets or silver sol.
Do mormons even buy the shit frank davis produces?

mcCafe said...

Not sure if it was a recent or old episode but Jim said something to the effect that everyone should have a cabin even if you have to get a shack, lmao.

Pokeberry on google satellite map doesn't look like a shack.

Old Hipster said...

Jim needs to get involved with the Dino cake production. I mean the real Dino cakes (not kool-aid). Dino cakes are not a phantasy, but actually exist, they are baked near Bakker HQ. If somehow Bakker can include Dino cakes in his menu of products he'd make out very well. Dino Kartsonakis, a well known celebrity in Branson bakes them. The cakes, particularly the carrot cake, are in high demand for any and all occasions. Jim is your reading this, I strongly suggest to consider selling the cakes on your show. It might or should prove to be very lucrative.

Perriernoiceplease said...

This is no church.

instafire, Food Buckets, Tents, Silver Sol, Generators, this is a home shopping operation.

The archived video footage should clearly prove that the bulk of the air time is spent selling.

I've seen LESS product demos on HSN.
hSN and qvc are live, many of the Bakker shows Ppear heavily edit and as such allow for more concentrated selling time.
Amazing

Craig said...

Welcome to the Foodbucket Fanpage Perrieoniceplease. Everything you said at 3:14 is true. Lol. It is such flagrant fraud, I'm at a loss as to why he's not wearing an orange jumpsuit instead of a ridiculous sergeant peppers outfit. Lol.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

LOL

Anonymous said...

@4:37...That's all? Goofy!

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Anon " Is That All You Have To Say Damn It!" @511pm

You must so much fun to be around. Goofy? Glad you reminded me of something. Give this youtube clip a look and tell me if it's goofy or not since you must have a "goofy detector".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpdCcaFOuH0&feature=related

Kool-Aid Kid said...

LOL

Craig said...

LOL.

Come back Zach said...

This guy for mayor of Blue Eye: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9barpoug6OA/T2PBkv-8HtI/AAAAAAAABA4/jTU5_dT5Jz4/s1600/Are+you+out+of+your+effin%27+mind,+Jim+Bakker.JPG

Joe C for head of sanitation in Blue Eye!

KAK for town jester!

Craig said...

Come back Zach. My vote is for you as head minister (pun intended ) of the bath house.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

To Come back Zach,

Now that's freakin "666 Goofy"!

You can almost hear what fat Zach's peanut sized brain is saying to him at that moment.

"This picture will destroy any credibity you ever had you tubby piece of shit!"

Vote Zach said...

Put that mug on a poster and hang it in every store window and telephone pole and everyone in Blue Eye is sure to vote for him. He is a shoe in for the new mayor!

Kool-Aid Kid said...

It really belongs hanging in all the guy's toliet stalls in the Moronside bath house with, For A Good Time Call (insert tubby's cell number).

Anonymous said...

Dino and his dino 24k deal seems to be involved in a few litigation matters.

Didnt read the cases but several entries

Those cakes look like they are from Costco or Sam's Club

Anonymous said...

Odd item....

Earky 2000's Grandma Char was sued by H0usehold bank (dropped) and Discover card.
With Discover card she ended up having her New Covenant paychecks garnished. Its on the MO court site.

Anonymous said...

To the poster who mentioned the alleged stolen trailer, was that the Turner semi trailer that Jim used to produce his show with?

Kansas City Repost 11-14-09 said...

Originally posted by
goodness me | Saturday, November 14, 2009 at 06:40 PM


I live in Blue Eye where Bakker has set up shop. Everytime I pass Morningside, it gives me the chills. I wish this guy would repent and do the right thing, instead of his milking the people with his scare tatics of foodbars for a disaster.Yuck,just be for-warned, don't give him your hard earned money folks. Give it to a deserving charity. I knew a family who lived at Morningside and told me something evil was going on there.

Joe C Blue eye Missouri said...

5:58
417-559-0444

Joe C Blue eye, Missouri said...

Why is my phone not ringing?

Brother Dortch said...

Because they are having their diapers changed and Mommy won't let them use their little phones because they are too scared to call you Joe C--That is why! poor little little babies. Ahhhhhh !!!!

Brother Dortch said...

Little babies pooped their pants and got jealous because Mommy changed their diapers and now their diapers are all clean so they cannot have their own "I pooped my pants" video on YouTube like Zach Drew has here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpdCcaFOuH0

So the little babies won't call Joe C because they would rather bitch and nag and complain about things that are none of their business and they act now like Mommy won't let them have their widdle widdle phones to place their widdle widdle fingers on those widdle widdlw numbers to call Joe C because it is sooooo much easier to say the widdle widdle number is fake when the widdle babies simply don't have the balls to do what they know will answer their widdle widdle questions and stop their widdle widdle complaining. Poor babies, with their clean diapers now. Jealous of Zach Drew and totally scared shitless to call Joe C on their widdle widdle cell phones.

Let's all say it now...

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!"

Tanya said...

Made up "facts," allegations, accusations, taunting, and when confronted with something tangible... silence.

Mere hours ago, Truthseeker wrote the phone number was a "false number" - a statement that was based on nothing, also, a statement that did not make sense given that Craig posted twice that the phone number was valid.

Joe C. has offered his phone number - unprecedented.

Remember: we aren't the ones living next door to Jim Bakker, we aren't the ones who have to live with construction noise, we aren't the ones who live in that community, we aren't the ones who have to deal with any disharmony within the community. There's ample evidence that things are sliding downhill at Morningside, just scroll back through these comments and read. I wouldn't want to be next door to that mess.

And here's a general principle for an ordered, healthy society that many posters seem to not understand: whether you want to believe it or not, people are entitled to privacy. People are also entitled to re-evaluate a situation and make a new choice about what is best for them in their life.

That last one seems to be where people are getting stuck, I'll re-phrase: people can change their minds about what is in their best interest.

So suck it up, cupcake.

Or, give the man a call.

Brother Dortch said...

Amen Sister!

truebucketfan said...

Hi! I posted this earlier, so forgive if it shows up twice...
I distinctly remember a show where Jimbo was in a panic to build a permanent satelllite broadcoast studio INSIDE Morningside, they even suspended the live shows which back in those years was daily, and instead showed footage of the slave-students building with 2x4a the new broadcast area... this after Jimbo said he heard from God that he should have an end-days garden behind his condo instead of the trailer which housed all the **remote** broadcast paraphernalia. He of course raised lots of $$ by selling Legacy seeds and the infamous sprouting device (YUM) for this project. They included lots of shots of their new deck which Lori endlessly cooed over and their few pitiful potted flowers

Jim recently declared that "the trouble with deception is that you don't know you are being deceived". Wicked, wicked, wickedly twisted.

Thanks for the May 6 7:07 a.m. poster for this delectable tidbit of information as I have always wondered what the real story around that one was.

SusanD said...

Looks like Zach is wearing his faux military grab….what a giant tool

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvHPMywVop4

Kid Gallahad and Rocky said...

How come when I call that number JoeC. said was his, (to give him what-for,) all I get is the weather? Also, you fools think Bakker paid JoeC. off? If he did it was may $50.00 TOPS. Maybe he threw in a couple of old souvenir T-shirts from the Heritage USA Park that were lying in his closet, but that's it! Thousands and thousands$$$$$$, wishfull thinking!

Joe C Blue eye, Missouri said...

Kid 9:12
You must have dialed wrong.
417-559-0444

Tanya said...

SusanD: so, another video added, likely pre-approved, to the students' channel.

Of interest, in Zach's dream that he talks about he said he was the only normal person and everyone else were zombies.

And new info for the rest of us, when the zombie apocalypse comes, its no longer a double-tap to the head that is required - just tell the zombies you love them.

On a serious note, it seems that Zach is setting himself up as a prophet for when that revival comes that Jim Bakker always talks about. On a less serious note: why do these videos always have distracting and unnecessary filters etc put on them? Its like MTV music videos from the 80s.

And, I see that Zach's dramatic reading of Hosea is back on the YouTube channel, but the intro videos of the students are not. I wonder who decided that Hosea read in silly voices is a good thing to have there after all.

Anonymous said...

What is all this crazy talk about this Joe...he is not the one running a tax free home shopping network.../lets focus on Bakker please...unless you like Bakker milking people

hartmore said...

The comment about Bakker and the legacy seeds and garden...WTF?

If you look on Google satellite maps, there isnt alot of room by his condo, so with what room was there he put in a pool...geex Louise

poolornopool said...

Regarding the pool....way back on this page or another post area were people saying Jim said on the show HE was building a pool?

I didn't understand what that was all about. It read like they were saying he said he was building a pool. Was that to cover for the fact that he was building his own pool? Another poster said they called Morningside condo rentals and they swore they didn't have a pool which is what I was told.

Cindy B. said...

Someone please teach the kid at 9:12 how to dial the phone but remember to wait and do it after he gets his diaper changed. LOL!

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Fat Zach's "Love" Dream

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvHPMywVop4

"... I'm like walking down a downtown Chicago type of feel ..."
Type of feel? WTF?

"like a big city ..."
Okay, got ya now fatty.

"but it was enclosed in a bubble ..."
Just like your head

"... as if it was an artifical city"
Okay, so it was an artifical bubble Chicago city "feel" kinda thing. Got ya.

"I was the only regular person and all the other thousands of people around me were ZOMBIES."
Okay stop! Tubby, you're the zombie and you are far from being regular.

"...and they realized there was something different about me ..."
Correct. Different because you're a balding guy dressed in an army shirt and you look sweaty and stinky. You look like you need a shower.

"... and it was crazy because they all started chasing me ... like trying to kill me ..."
It was probably all the people in the middle of the night you prank phoned coming for payback you asshole.

Remember your prank call on youtube?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpdCcaFOuH0

Grandma Char Groupie said...

10:04

That's not what he said.
He said "WE'RE building a pool at Morningside." Does that not sound like it is for everybody at Morningside to use? Also, Morningside staff was on this very site and said condo renters have access to all facilities including the pool.

Anonymous said...

Why are people obsessed with Joe and Zach?

Bakker is the brains and the operator (although on paper its Char)

Lets focus on Bakker's dealings and make good use of the blog.

Tanya said...

poolornopool:

What I know comes from these comments: a Bakker-supporter posted and told another poster that there was a pool and it could be used by visitors/partners. I believe a juice bar was also mentioned. Then, a poster wrote that they called Morningside and were told there was no pool - which made it look like if there was a pool it was not for general use. Then someone posted that the pool is hidden behind a facade.

That's where its at now, I think.

poolornopool said...

Before God, I called about renting a condo and was told there is no pool. I think I spoke to Tamara Crawford

poolornopool said...

There IS a pool on the Google Sat image.

It is tucked up against what has been identified as Bakker's condo

poolornopool said...

At first I believed what I was told and then stumbled on the blog and read there IS a pool and saw the Google Sat pics

Anonymous said...

Way up there it said the shopping channels dont have as much concentrated selling time.

That would be my guess as well.
I saw one show that was edited to the point of insanity. It was like a SUPER UBER Infomercial.
Bobbi Ray Carter couldnt sell that fast on HSN and HSN isnt tax exempt

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Anon@1020am

Each and ever moronside zombie that assists Jim Bakker in robbing people of their hard earned money is in my sights. Jason, Zach, Kevin, Lori ...

That's the way it is with me and if you chose not to then that's your decision.

Grandma Char Groupie said...

I was told on this blog by Morningside staff that any condo renter can have access to all facilities and all blog members were also told anyone who donates to the ministry can use the boat too! Look it up here if you don't believe me. The user name was "Charlene" and that might have been Grandma Char herself. She said the rates were reasonable and to call the rental office to arrange this. It was a couple of months ago.

Tanya said...

10:20am: I comment on Zach because Jim Bakker presents Zach as his star student, and a prophet-in-training. One of my issues with Jim Bakker is that he is running a fake school, asking for money to support his fake school (recently Jim said he was tired of raising dollar after dollar for the school and wished someone would write him a $1 million cheque), and doing these "students" a tremendous disservice. Therefore, the behaviour of Jim's star student becomes relevant, as it reflects what is being taught at the "school," and what Morningside is, in part, about.

Grandma Char Groupie said...

What is happening at the fake school is that it only takes one year to graduate and you are given a fake piece of paper and then you cannot get a job in media anywhere.

Don't believe me? Ask another one of the star students, Charlet Wintercorn! LOL!!!!!!!

Grandma Char Groupie said...

I was also told there would be a per diem charge of about $20 extra to use the attached sauna and that all students may use it for free. I was also told there is a juice bar there too and that the facilities are very nice. Ask the students, they all have swam there and they all know of the existance of this pool.

Anctill said...

From what I understand Morningside has a state-of-the-art workout facility. Free weights, workout machines, treadmills, half size Basketball court. Why don't they have a membership program for residents. I know a lot of people here who would join. It would help bring in cash. Also, Grandma Char is the brains behind the whole kit "n' Kaboodle at Morningside, she more or less is the "brains in the machine". Plus she has very good credit and is handy for financial arrangements.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

From the wall of fat displayed on the frog's tv show it's more than evident that not all the zombies use the so-called state-of-the-art workout facility at Moronside.

Jason said...

Bro D. and Tanya, before you support and praise Joe C. you should call the number he provided!

Malarkey said...

BAKKER YOU COCKROACHE! Doesn't it bother you that old folks who live on Cambells soup and reduced for quick sale food are being conned by you? Conned so you can live an opulent materialistic lifestyle. Give up your soft,effeminate,phoney,glamourous, and misdirected existence and get back to doing the Lord's work.

Anonymous said...

@12:41 Someone has been smoking crack with Lori again!

Junk for sale said...

@1:34. You got a point. I thought everyone was going to get in shape with that trampoline thing. Boring!! I'll bet anyone out there 100 dollars to your 50 cents, that they people who originally bought those trampolines either sold them in a yardsale, or have them stored away in the garage.

Anonymous said...

and Jason @1:54 has a dirty diaper. Don't worry baby, Mommy change that real soon! LOL!!!!

Kool-Aid Kid said...

To Junk for sale

I'd say people should keep the Moronside trampolines handy because it will come in perfectly when wide assed Mondo and crew come to knock your door down to grab your food when the end of the world occurs. The metal edge of the trampoline can be used to smack those zombie punks with.

Tanya said...

May 5 @ 10:54pm - I was scrolling back and just saw your question to me. Sorry I missed it the first time.

All I know about Lori is what I see on the TV show.

Over the past few months that I have watched the show I have seen Lori look better and worse - at her worst she shows symptoms of impairment: rambling, slurring, slouching, affect (i.e., her mood) out of synch with other people on the stage. At her best, Lori tends to ramble, and her affect is usually different from the others on-stage - what I mean by this is that Jim Bakker or the guest of the day will be talking about something they mean to be serious and dark, and Lori will laugh, giggle, say "wow" repeatedly, and make repetitious and off-topic comments like how 'beeeautiful' Jonathan Cahn's wife is. We've all seen Jim attempt to stop Lori from talking, with greater or lesser amounts of success.

One question: is Lori grounded in reality? I'm not sure. Her behaviour at times suggests that she is not.

Moving off of that, Lori is living a lifestyle that depends on the "love gifts" that they sell on the show - the selling that is helped along by generous amounts of Revelation doom and gloom, fear-mongering, and playing images of disasters (real and made-up). That makes Lori a part of the problem, no matter what her state of mind is.

Lori made a choice to marry Jim Bakker, and now chooses to stay and use her personal history to help promote Lori's House - I'm not inclined to cut Lori any slack.

Your question: "is Lori (after 5 abortions) at a point where she would allow this Lori's House to be used and sort of dicked around with as a fund raiser?" Only my opinion: yes, I think she is. I think Lori will go along with whatever keeps her in her desired lifestyle.

Troll Zombie said...

The funky black and white choppy footage of Zach in his dream video is distracting and cheesy. Very sloppy and a lame attempt to connect to the youth. Words really are enough when you speak the truth! No special effects needed!

Klein said...

The swimming pool is needed for Baptismal service. A born again Christian is ceremoniously immersed in water as a purification ritual. The pool is essential for this ceremony. It is not used for just recreational purposes. Get your facts straight. Thank you

Anonymous said...

the pool deal gets stranger

my guess is its only for Bakker.

it appears on satellite to have be right up against his office.

i doubt he's offering zach and crew the use of it...maybe but i kind of doubt it.

is the poster above joking btw about the juice bar?
i spent a fair amount of time asking about the condo pricing and what it included.
they are very cheap for a night but other than a hair salon there were no ameinities like an exercise area mentioned.
the girl mentioned the general store and the restaurant and thats it.
no sauna, no pool, no juice bar, no exercise facility. nothing

Kool-Aid Kid said...

name : Klein
position : purification expert
location : moronside pool

Note: when selecting moronside faithful to work with Klein have them know that they must at all times have their facts straight. Failure to do that could result in Klein immersing co-workers in the Baptismal pool. Use caution at all times around Klein.

Tanya said...

3:59pm: no joke - I remember the post from the Bakker-supporter who talked about the pool - it was awhile ago, so I cannot direct you to the date/time. My recollection is that the post mentioned a pool and a juice bar... I also remember the phrase "very nice" (as written by Grandma Char Groupie @ 11:21am).

Anonymous said...

To Klien @ 3:57,

You are kidding when you say the pool is needed for baptisms aren't you?! I would hope so! If you were serious I hope you realize you put all your foolishness on display for all of us to see!!

All decent Christ honoring churches use a small tank for baptisms, or they baptize in a local lake. My church uses a members hot tub. I would leave a church where the pastor would try to justify putting in a pool for personal use and then claim it's a baptismal tank! Good grief no church with Godly integrity needs a $60,000+ baptismal pool!!! Maybe the pool is essential for you people out there since many of you are so very overweight. Obese people need a pool, who knew!

I do believe it is you who needs to get your facts straight. The childhood taunt accurately reflects Jim Bakker's people....if you had half a brain you would be dangerous! Intelligent people wouldn't follow this guy let alone defend him!

Brother Dortch said...

I, personally, have seen the entire excercise facility and workout room (very nice, well equipped and modern)so please have your facts straight before posting here.

Another "know it all" is posting who knows nothing!

Kool-Aid Kid said...

I think you forgot to say " kit "n' Kaboodle " again. lol

poolornopool said...

Regarding the exercise facility, its for sure not mentioned when you call to ask about renting a condo.

I'm almost certain I spoke to Tamara Crawford. When I asked about a pool or amenities, she she mentioedn the 24 hour general store, the restaurant and a hair salon.

Is the guy who posted above about the exercise facilities the same Brother D that noramlly has all

the info?

catfinger said...

Pool or no pool we know there is a damn pool most likely paid for with taxed $$$$ and primarily for the use of a froggy who still owes the IRS from his last nonprofit.

Lets focus on adding material that will be of interest to the FCC, MO AG, IRS and the media

catfinger said...

HEY, I meant NON taxed lol

BTW, say that post way up there about Grandma Char having her own $$$ problems.
Hate to think he pays her peanuts especially considering she is his mother in law

weightwatcherspizzas said...

Here is a question...Tanya...your thoughts really appreciated...

Do you think there is a different flavor to Jim's shenanigans?
At PTL, although they often had love gifts, they were albums or books.
Now Jim's items are being pitched like "you really need this" That said, is it a step up from just begging for people to send cash?

weightwatcherspizzas said...

I guess its a different tactic.

Before it was crying saying help the ministry.

Now its more like "you better buy this because the world's food supply is about to be cut off"

asianStars said...

I feel like Bakker has a laundry list of crap that needs explaining with this current operation.

I will say I feel sorry for Tammy Sue. She went through the wringer and then watched her mother die.

Anyone know what she has done to support herself?
I've heard shes very nice

Anonymous said...

So he needs to explain:

1. How his ministry can be using tax exempt funds to buy Pokeberry lake house and boat and pool at condo
2. Is he keeping the Lori's House money set aside for Lori's House
3. How does he get away with not listing himself on paper as the head of this and instead using Char Grahm who clearly doesnt run it

Nabila said...

I actually would be totally fine if he used up to $2,000 to hire a wardrobe consulatant.

He needs a few nice pieces that look like they were meant for a man over 30. I saw him in an Aeropostale jacket that looked ridiculous.
I'm starting to think Lori wants him to look silly.

He needs 3 nice sportcoats that are properly tailored. I'd say he is a 38 jacket.
He needs some decent Polo or Brooks Brothers chinos, maybe Banana Republic. Go real easy on the Banana as hes metro sexual enough as is.
A few normal Ralph Lauren Polos.
His clothes are bizarre, ill fitting and not for his age.

Tanya said...

weightwatcherspizzas: hello.

For what it is worth, here are my thoughts (thanks for asking):

I was aware of the PTL scandal back in the day, but not all that aware. Aware enough, though, that when I came across Jim Bakker selling crap on my TV I wondered how that happened. Which led me here.

Jim Bakker has found another means to the same end. He used to preach prosperity, which as I understand it is: you give the ministry money, and God will bless you... with more money. With that message, it made sense to sell things like Bibles as love gifts.

But then Jim Bakker got out of prison and publicly renounced the prosperity gospel. What is a man such as Jim Bakker to do? He wants to raise money, but there's only so much most people can rationalize - he can't return to the exact same thing that he denounced.

So Jim Bakker found Revelation. Same end - raising lots of money - just a slightly different way of getting there.

If you think about, whether you are selling a Bible for a bunch of money using prosperity gospel, or a Foodbucket for a bunch of money using Revelation, at the end of the day you still have a bunch of money. Tax-free money at that. Happy Days!

Then we have Jim Bakker's identical behaviour, with one twist.

The identical: plunging ahead with various projects, whatever they may be (Lori's House, fake school scholarships, new studio for fake school, Jesus statue, etc), constantly saying he is out of money, and pleading (or angrily yelling, depends on the day) for people to send him money to keep the projects going (or as he calls it: "love gifts"). Plus shipping and handling, don't forget about that. And zero financial transparency.

The twist: having his projects/properties in other people's names so he cannot be forced to pay the fortune he owes the IRS.

That's just my take on it.

truebucketfan said...

Wonder if the food shortage Jim is always ranting about and scaring people could be due to all the preppers and zombies buying up all the grain and veggies in the petrified form for doomsday?

I noticed he has reduced his 45-pound bucket of wheat to $45, where right now a bushel of wheat sells for about $6.00 and is about 60 pounds. What a deal for the schmeel!

Anonymous said...

One of the Bakker believers said that the boat and cabin were gifts given to Jim Bakker. Even if that is true he would still owe a gift tax of anywhere up to 50% of the value of the gift. Did Jim, Lori, or Grandma Char claim those gifts and pay that tax?

James so eloquently stated "he's been giveing" over $1 million dollars to the Moldova girls who have been victims of sex trafficking. If that is true and Jim is so generous in his giving for ministry why wouldn't he have graciously thanked the generous donors who "gave" him the cabin, boat, pool etc. but declined their offers. Why wouldn't he have encouraged them to give that money for a worthwhile cause like helping girls who are victims of sex trafficking? Does Jim never put his money where his mouth is. I think not the only thing that comes out of Jims mouth is begging for money for himself. Jim has agenda and it's not about ministry, as always it's all about himself!

burnjimburn said...

Ron we really need another post from you.

Jessica said...

Tanya, as always, great answer to weightwatcherspizza question for you.

Ready to hit the on button to catch the Jim Bakker Show and watch Jason Wert show me his smirk, one more time. Wert reminds me of an announcer for a bad strip show in Vegas, but on the other side of town.

seen it said...

They don't need any fancy exercise place. Those kids get their exercise the old fashion way....hard physical work. Out there cutting and hauling brush, raking and clearing land like the pioneers did. Hard physical, old fashion work. Something the likes of Kool-aid never heard of. Koll-aid laughs at them but I bet he's a porker himself. Little sissy pants.

Anonymous said...

2,500 comments and the last blog post was made on March 24.

This blog needs an enema!

Anonymous said...

Looking back, I felt bad for the Bakker's during the PTL scandel.

I guess I didnt read or follow things closely.
That post on here that Jim had sent Tammy and Roe to look at French Lick resort while he was in prison was spooky.
I assumed when he got to prison he would have been so scared he wouldnt have had his stuff together enough to think that up. Plus, I mean...umm...doesnt that sort of constiture running a business while in prison?
The post about him getting plastic surgery not long after prison was also creepy.
That shows someone really vain.
Another misc item--the Bakkers seemed to have NO $$$ after PTL. Their salaries were HUGE and the ministry paid for nearly everything, food, houses, clothing, cars...what did they do with the money?
I can honestly say I know from a friend of friend who knew Tammy and Roe that her cancer treatment was delayed a few weeks in 2004 when it forst was announced because they didnt have insurance.
Not foodbucket item just an random observation.

Anonymous said...

If you compare Morninside to PTL/Heritage USA----Heritage hotel was over sold and hard to book.

Morningside has numerous condos they simply rent out and still more listed for sale. Not exactly the home run Heritage was.

Morningside/Grace St looks like it was done a SLIM budget.
There appears to be little if any landscaping. The pond in front looks like a breeding ground for mosquitos. Is nasty looking.

If you look at pics, nothing looks right. There is a photo of Jim in front of some food buckets stacked up and you can see a post/beam thats right in front of someone's window.
The central air units for the condos are very close to front doors. In one shot, what has been described as the bakker's condo, there is a window air conditioner visible. Thinking maybe the AC cant cool things quite right.
While Roe Messner was a snake (he married Tammy's assistant, Melanie), Heritage 100 times better.
I think a condo in MLS listings was over 100,000. I cant imagine it will sell.
Considering Jim's nitpicky attitude, I'm surprised grace Street suited him.
I think they had a certain vision for the exterior like heritage or main street Disney but it is way off.

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Alright you zombie scum bags, get out of that fancy dancy state-of-the-art workout room! Come on you tubs of fat, we're marching into the woods today. Suck in your fat gut Jason and get that smirk of you chubby face!

Moronside Sgt "Seen It's" Drill Song

We don't need a fancy gym.
Clearing bush we'll do for him.
Hard work.
Frog's work.
Old way.
Everyday.
Good for Bakker.
Good for you.

accounter said...

What was Jim's reason for building the tabernacle???

I'm assuming it was built after 07 opening of Grace Street.

I also assume the Tabernacle was built BEFORE Masters students started coming.

I'm curious, just wondering, were funds raised to build the Tabernacle ie Did Jim sell shit that he clearly said was to build the Tabernacle????

WHY do I ask? I'm curious....did Crawford build the Tabernacle?
Did they say how much they needed to build to build it?

This applies to the earlier post about whether Morningside paid Crawford for any construction.

Without financial transparency there is no way of knowing where the money flows.

@tokyodisney said...

Even if the Pokeberry house does not violate any laws, it still makes one wonder.

If his donors knew he/the ministry was investing in houses, boats and swimming pools as the end comes perhpas they'd question the whole scenario. He thinks you should be home checking the solar generator, counting food buckets and waiting for the end.

Anonymous said...

Do they have a PLAN regarding Lori's House??

I KNOW they have a PIC/drawing but whats the damn plan?
Would the women give birth at the house?
If they dont give birth there, its a long drive to the nearest hospital. This seems like a very odd deal all the way around.

Has he EVER said how much has been raised so far for Lori's House?

Tanya said...

There's a commercial at the end of the Day 5 Rabbi show:

Jason Wert is inviting people to Morningside for a celebration of July 4th - they'll have special guests, condo rentals, RV rentals... I didn't watch the rest.

Interesting in light of the fact that Jim Bakker did *not* have any shows, or special celebrations, for Easter.

I guess a days-long party suits Jim's purposes better.

Anonymous said...

Dude

Do you know how hot and humid Blue Eye will be JULY 4???

If I call to book for July Tanya and they say I CANT use Jim's private pool I will NOT go!

I MIGHT go if we get Pokeberry lake house cook out option with boat ride.

Please let Cindy Jacobs be there, She is so SMART. My IQ spikes after hearing her. And I mean shes a psychic

Anonymous said...

While you sinners are saying evil things about Jim---please read and think.

There is a great deal of potential for flooding in MO. This is national news frequently.

Pokeberry is a launching point for the boat so that Jim can use it to deliver foodbuckets.

It is a foorbucket and generator emergency distribution center.

You people are mean

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Anon " I Watch The News ... Then I Think About It " @1104am

You are exactly what a moronside zombie is all about ... jimmy "frog faced" bakker. You sad thing. No cake for you.

Anonymous said...

They speak of nothing. If any of these people who scorn Bakker for no apparent reason but to be spiteful met him they would quiver. Joe C. is the only one who has met him and look what happened to him. Bro D claims to have met him but he was such a low echelon player that I doubt the accuracy of what he claims. That's why I take what these guys say with the proverbial grain of salt. Call people like these "paper warriors" or "internet tough monkeys".

truebucketfan said...

Lori Beth Graham Baker - Long Island Medium...Separated at birth?

Anonymous said...

@10:58...well hope it spikes up a few more points. Might improve your punctuation and spelling.

SusanD said...

On the live show today, Jim had Anne Gimenez on. From her story her husband John who was an ex drug addict died, his church gave her his position as Bishop of the church. During her story telling Lori said “Anne you are a preaching machine” Of course she was there to hock her new book, and get people to go to a conference in PA.

During the taping Jim said I need 100 people to give $1000 or I will have to pull the construction crews off of building Lori’s House. Later on in the show he said a lot of people don’t like me and just wish I would go away. No Jim I just want you to stop asking for money!

Anonymous said...

To the morningside fool @ 11:04,

I would like to know who you are calling a sinner? are you saying you aren't a sinner? This is the problem with you delusional people at Morningside, you think you are perfect and in your self righteousness judge others. You people keep forgetting that Jesus said "In the way that you judge others, so will you to be judged"!

What a joke, Jims lake home will be a launching point to deliver food buckets, lol! Just like he delivered food buckets to the victims of the Branson tornado!! Wow, you people stoop to new lows all the time...There is a POTENTIAL for flooding in Missouri. I live in Missouri, we always have POTENTIAL for flooding, nothing new and scary about that!! Pokeberry will be a distribution center for foodbuckets and generators.


TO THE DEMON @ 11:27,

Jim had Joe C quivering, if he did are you proud of the Mr or Mrs. christian? Sure, that is the sign of a good christian, make everyone quiver and scared of you when you don't get your way. Sounds more like satan to me! Yep, Bakker and his supporters look more like Satan and his henchmen! You are certainly not christians!!! Go take a big drink of Kool-Aid you internet tough monkey and die dreaming of who else you can make quiver, tough guy! There is a lot to scorn Bakker and you idiots for!

Anonymous @ 11:31,

You're time would be better spent doing grammar and spelling patrol with the brainless children at the fake school and in your own community. lol

Anonymous said...

I give you folks a lot of credit. I can't see how you can sit through and watch an entire "Jim Bakker" program. It is so freaking boring. If I tape it,I end up having to fast forward without fail, every episode. It is the same issues, ad nauseum, everyday. I mean every freaking day! I really don't watch it to be honest with you, but if I did and someone ask me what it was about I could'nt answer. It is like my mind shuts down and goes into hibernation mode. I just end up watching the people. It is a waste of time.

Anonymous said...

Really? You're all are still posting Nate Parkhurst as your poster-boy for anti-bakkerism?? I think I would find someone who isn't a child milestor to fill that role..

Troll Zombie said...

I'm sorry, but the two dumbest things I've read so far today are:

He needs that pool for baptisms

and

He needs that boat and lake house for delivering foodbuckets during a flood.

No wonder Jim gets away with it!

By the way - why is Jim building the "Old Mill" storehouse for foodbuckets? Why not store them in the lake house? Then they'll be ready to launch!!

In case you haven't noticed, other churches do immersion baptism without an enormous pool. Or, now that I think of it, the ministry owns property ON A BODY OF WATER!!!!!!!

Craig said...

Lol Trollzombie. I don't know if those were real zombie posts or someone making fun of them. Too funny.

Awaiting The Sex Scandal said...

I have never seen or read such pathetic excuses for defending this con man in my life. And you wonder why Bakker finds these marks so easy to extract money from? Pokeberry Lane is a distribution point for generators? LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

@ 10:58's spelling and punctuation are fine.

Anonymous said...

If there are no weight room facilities just where did Zach bench press the 375lb of barbells?

Anonymous said...

I am sure Zach gets a lot of exercise in--at the bath house!

Freeone said...

The post saying Jim needs 100,000 to keep Lori's House going is shady.

The house has not been built so what would be eating into his cash he has already raised?

BTW, did he give Lori's House funds to Cameron?
Did he ask people to donate to Stellas house? How was it worded?

Freeone said...

Btw I didn't mean the post was shady I meant Jim is shady.

SusanD said...

Freeone 2:21pm

I thought it sounded shady too. Jim said the power company put power on the new location yesterday, and that he need 100 people to donate 1000.00 or he might have to pull people off the construction. I know he must have raised a lot more for Lori's House then what he is saying...no way did "the road to no where" eat up all the funds

Googlei said...

I don't think the local paper in Branson knows how shady Jim is.

They did a few articles that read more like ads for Morningside.

The fact that Jim Bakker wouldn't file a 990 like CBN should have been reported way back.
America's most well known con artist NOT making financials available is a front page story.
Add in that he peddles in a shopping show format with little church action and it's obscene.
Add the layer of church owned lake homes, secret pools hidden behind feed stores and it's a news item.
And don't forget he still has an IRS tab yet carefully avoids them by putting assets in the names of others.
Oh yeah and wants to scare people into buying over priced survival crap.

Anonymous said...

Why the fuck doesn't he sell Pokeberry if he needs money for Loris house?

Anonymous said...

Only a piece of total white trash would let her husband use her 5 abortions to raise money, buy a lake house and then beg for more

Anonymous said...

Jim Bakker is a hot shit. Trust me, if you want somebody to party with, have a few laughs over a few drinks. Jim's your man.

Craig said...

Hmmm. Looks like a flood's coming. Let's see, got my hip waders and my I CARE cap. Hey Mondo, are the batteries charged in the remote camera?

Yes jim.

Wipe that tear off your cheek Mondo, I'm the only crier around here and I don't have tears!

It's a tattoo, jim, remember what I had to do to get it?

Of course I remember. I was jealous. Now go find zach, he's gonna captain the boat.

Okay jim, do you want me to load the bucket of wheat and generator before I fetch zach?

No you flippin waterhead, he's gotta film you handing them to me on the boat.

Oh I was see, then I'll film you and zach giving them away.

Imm. Kinda like that. You'll film us leaving in the boat. Do you really think I'd give that stuff away?

Ohhhh. I'll just film you carrying the stuff in some shallow water.

No. I think it will be enough to just film me and zach pretending like we're off to help. Should be a good fund raiser.

Pull them ALL off the job Jim said...

The best thing that could ever happen is that Jim pulls all the construction crews off the job and tells them all never to come back!

Tanya said...

I laughed out loud when I read 11:04am - a launching point for the boat to deliver foodbuckets? I cannot tell if that is a real post, or a parody of a Bakker-supporter post. Either way, well done.

Now 11:27am, that seems more like a Bakker-supporter post that I can get behind. All these questions and good, concrete pieces of information in these comments, and "they speak of nothing." OK, 11:27am, then how about you speak of *something* - other than rationalizing all these valid questions as being nothing other than spite. Give us some concrete information about Jim Bakker that refutes anything that has been posted here... let's say in just the past 2 days: the lack of financial transparency, pool-gate, keeping assets in other peoples' names to avoid the IRS. Go for it.

SusanD: now Jim is threatening to pull the construction crews from Lori's House? He just finished saying a few days ago that he was putting it in God's hands and Lori's House would be built. What happened to that? Oh right, the usual... any moment now Jim is going to accuse every viewer who does not give him $1000 of hating babies.

Troll Zombie said...

I don't understand why he doesn't raise the money first and THEN start the construction?

Well, I understand why. But still - don't the people that sow these $1000 dollar "seeds" want some sort of plan in place instead of flying by the seat of his pants, wasting those dollars all along the way??

Doesn't the Bible say "neither a borrower nor a lender be?" It seems to me Morningside is a poor steward of all the money they've been given if their minister needs to go on TV and beg for more money. It's very, very tacky and shows poor planning and execution.

Aren't any of the people who donate embarrassed at the way he begs?

Anonymous said...

@3:16- I think the father in "Hamlet" said that to his son.

Jim Fan said...

No weapon that is formed against Jim will prosper; And every tongue that accuses Jim in judgment will be condemned.

Trolls stop praising Joe C. as he sold out and is now retired in Florida.

It is written said...

As the righteous shall prosper so shall the Pastor. Jim reveals the word and the word is good, in the word a new kingdom shall be raised. Pastor is the foundation to the kingdom. Rejoyce with the word, and the word shall be... Morningside.

SusanD said...

Tanya 2:55pm

Also to prime the pump Jim said Annie his guest wrote him 1000.00 check before she left. He told some stupid story about Annie was suppose to be aborted in the great depression since her family couldn't afford her! lolol

Kool-Aid Kid said...

"Anonymous said...
If there are no weight room facilities just where did Zach bench press the 375lb of barbells?"

The only place that balding moronside freak had anything to do with 375 Ibs was what he left in the toliet in the bath house.

Anonymous said...

Please someone call a media outlet please

Anonymous said...

Is it correct that the money raising for Lori's House began roughly January 2011 and Pokeberry was purchased that spring?

Anonymous said...

It's easy to go online to CNN or NBC and find reporter email addresses. Someone with better writing skills than me ought to make a form letter we can copy and paste and email to journalists. Eventually someone will bite.

It is written - If Jim is so good at revealing the word than maybe he should spend 58 minutes preaching on it instead of selling garbage. Pretty hard to reveal the word to the world when you are busy singing Hallelujah to a friggin generator.

Poker player said...

No way! That's not the way things are done! A person is only as good as their word. I've been reading about JoeC. willing to cop a deal (phone me) and Tanya and Dortch condescending remarks regarding it. Maybe Tanya and Dortch play by those rules, but not me. A deal was struck whereby Joe c would reveal what happened at the Bakker powwow. Keep to the deal, honor the deal. Not this phone me nonsense. No tapdancing or bone throwing, keep to the deal. Tell everyone. Tanya Keep out of it. You were not even around at the time. You're a "Johnny come lately".

Carol said...

Poker player you hit the nail on the head. Joe C. told us he was going to fight Jim tooth and nail and keep us informed about what happened at the meeting. Once the meeting occurred he became mum and now wants people to call him??? He lied to us and sold out and all I have to say to Joe Mama is enjoy your retirement in Florida!

Brown nosers Tanya and Bro D before you praise him how about calling the phoney number!

Cindy B. said...

@4:35 and YOU are an idiot!

Suck it up cupcake...
or give the man a call!

excuses, excuse, excuses

Ahhhhhhhhh, poor baby!

wah! wah! wah!

Anonymous said...

Those two crack me up, they talk about what is right and proper but change the rules to suit the situation. Be consistent, dammit!

Cindy B. said...

To Carol @4:47 How many of Joe C's bills have you paid? Unless you are paying his bills and running his life for him then you have no right to tell him what to do. As very properly told here by both Brother D and Tanya if you want to know the answers then call the man and quit making an ass of your complaining self here!

Kool-Aid Kid said...

Excuse me Zombie "It Is Written", but don't you mean ...

As a thief in the night shall prosper so shall the "Frog Faced" Bakker.

Bakker reveals his shoe lifts and his height is good, in the world of disaster food buckets shall be raised.

"Frog Faced" Bakker is the cesspool of religion. Rejoice with his love gifts, and your future will be in Hell.

Anonymous said...

MAybe we should focus on Jim.

The need for money for Lori's house money is very very interesting.

What has he been doing with the money he has been raising for Loris house?

Anonymous said...

Pools behind Feed Store facades, Pokeberry Lake houses, a boat, etc

All tax exempt.....amazing........

I think if you say you are using money for one thing and use it for another over the tv or Internet it's wife fraud

Anonymous said...

Wire fraud....not wife

It's the iPad not me

Tanya said...

I wondered how long that would take. Not long at all, is the answer, as expected.

Poker player: another example of saying utter crap. Of course I was around at the time, that is how I know the timeline. Not my fault if you can't read T-a-n-y-a as the poster's name.

I don't see the merit in taking this so personally, I cannot imagine what it is like to live like that.

I'll post what I want, when I want - only Ron has the right to censor me, as it is his blog.

Cindy B. said...

The diverting of facts by Bakker supporters has been going on for quite some time now and is perfectly normal for that bunch. But the diversionary tactics employed by a couple of the clueless anti-Bakker people shows that not even the all of the anti-Bakker readers of this blog are here to do much good except satiate their own selfish, Bakker-like, greed to abosrb and read about the dirt only and do nothing else but that.

What have you two lame brains done to stop this confidence man dead in his tracks? How about nothing! Others here write letters, keep this community informed, offer help to those wishing to file their own complaints, and then there are the two leeches above. They come here and get mad when a man does not post here exactly like they want him to post.

Brother D and Tanya are the ones who hit the nail right on the head. Why don't you two leeches go mooch off of somebody else's blog comments since you are completely incapable of coming on this blog and showing anything at all constructive that you have done to stop the fraud this blog is dedicated to exposing.

Your complaints have fallen on deaf ears with me. And they should also fall on deaf ears to anyone who has even a lick of sense.

Anonymous said...

Pretty sad. The trolls aren't getting any action so they pretend to be Bakker supporters and invent things they think **sound like** Bakker supporters - then respond to their own posts. Par for the integrity course in this place. Sad indeed.

Anonymous said...

Lets stay with the task at hand....

His name is Bakker

Anonymous said...

So bakker is threatening to stop work on Lori's House.....I would think Lori after 5 Kills she claims to feel sadness over would offer up that 250,000 Pokeberry House....

Anonymous said...

I am not a regular viewer, can someone fill in some blanks,

Did JIm start raising money for Lori's House roughly Jan 2011 with the Pokeberry house purchased a few months later?

Also, can someone explain the time frame on Stella's House donations ie was Lori's House pushed then Stella's House or were they seperate?

Jessica said...

Jim Fan @3:42 p.m. You said "No weapon that is formed against Jim will prosper; and every tongue that accuses Jim in judgment will be condemned".

Wow! That's some serious stuff. I didn't know my tongue could be condemned. Could you explain to me what that means? I have never heard of anything so weird. Well, yes I have....the Bakker zombies.

I had no idea what Christians were like. This is really an eye opener for me. How do you condemn a persons tongue? Hey zombie, get back to me on this. Thanks. I'll be waiting?

desktopKing said...

It would be great if we could establish a time frame for some of his fund raisers.

Was the Valley Walkers deal just to build the road?

desktopKing said...

I'm going to out on a limb here.....when Bakker announced Lori's House....was there a figure, an amount that he said would need to be raised to build it?
I'm going to guess he didnt but wondering

Amexblackcard said...

The timing on Jim announcing he might stop building at Lori's House is so perfect.

Just last week people here wondered if the Bakker believed enough in saving babies and Lori's House to sell Pokeberry....aint lookin good...if you are pregnant and dont want to abort dont go to Lori bakker, she puts Pokeberry lake homes before babies ...but buy a foodbucket please..pools and houses aint cheap

Jessica said...

While anticipating Ron's new post I read some of the older posts and they are still so funny. If anyone needs information for a comment, re-read some past posts and a lot of the questions can be found.

A funny one is the Lori Bakker Birthday show. Really shows the dynamics of Lori and Jim Bakker. I can see how much labor and thought goes into Ron's posts. Its mind numbing to watch and pay attention to the show and then comment and have it make sense. Bakker's lies and double talk is very hard to follow. I totally understand Ron taking a break. I try to watch a full hour of the Moronside Munster show and I almost want to weep, its very hard to watch.

Newcomers to this forum might want to check out some of the old posts by Ron if you haven't.

Thank you Ron for your hours of labor and your intelligent conversation with the wonderful humor you add.

Amexblackcard said...

Another poster said it was like bakker was recreating his old empire albeit a low rent version.

Seems to look that way....condos, lake homes, threats to stop projects..............

Anonymous said...

Really would be great to know if there had been an announced budget to build Lori's House and how much has been raised toward that.

If, after announcing Lori's House the ministry did indeed purchase Pokeberry it is classic Jim Bakker. Classic.

Anonymous said...

I'm wondering if the sales end of his show will be what opens the gates.

The super concentrated selling with just a few minutes of church mixed in are unreal.

The Grace Street Chapel doesn't look very big. Sort of reminds you of the ministry in general, God is like an afterthought

here is your answer on a golden platter said...

@desktopKing. The answers are already in Ron's blogs and comment sections. Maybe someone will look up the answers for you, but you could certainly research it yourself.
@7:16. See above.

desktopKing said...

On a Golden Platter:

I did not see a dollar amount needed to build Lori's House.
I looked.

Maybe you could provide the dollar amount Golden Shower or Platter or whatever

Anonymous said...

Sadly, the media may not grasp the story if really clear answers dont POP out at them.

If we hope to see Jim yanked off the air with the aid of this forum we have to be sure we leave bread crumbs the size of Lori's tits ie info about when projects began, whether he announced a budget, etc

breadcrumbbigasloritit said...

One key strike against the Bakker frog's empire could be raising funds for one project and then using for another OR (even more tantalizing) using said funds for purchases of things like homes.
Of course if the frog would file a fucking 990 and not claim to be a church ....we wouldnt be asking these questions

breadcrumbbigasloritit said...

The on air comments about TELLING Char to write $100,000 checks seems like a crumb.

The comment about buying Tammy Sue a condo ...another

Even his recent remark about writing a book with Ken Abraham...how do you get a book advance that the IRS wont take AND if you do ---How are you asking others to send you money for Lori's house?

breadcrumbbigasloritit said...

Now a pool ONLY for YOUR condo,
HIDDEN behind a facade that says
"Feed Store"...another bread crumb

Thats a story

golden platter said...

Lol desktopKing. All the rest of your questions were answered just looking back though. You really don't want a golden shower ....or do you?

Seriously, I don't think fast Jimmy has fixed an amount for Lori's House. As much as he can scam would be the correct answer.

desktopKing said...

Platter, I do NOT want a golden shower.
I would rather read that Jim is out of business

Platter, it might help if we had our own Char/Shirley Fulbright.
I DID glance at the MO Courts website and did see the suit against Jim and MOrningside by the magic man Kirby Van Burch.
Looked like Van Burch was sueing both JB and Bambi Van Burch.
Bakker and Morningside were dropped from the suit. Saw that when they supoeaned Jim it was signed for by his exec assist, Deborah.

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