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Thursday, September 1, 2011

Jim Bakker still wearing beard disguise, welcomes on Dr Sherlock Bally

Koala Bear or Jim Bakker?
The show opens this morning with Zach announcing. This kid has nowhere near the announcing chops that Kevin Shorey had. They've dumped him in there to fill Shorey's shoes, and let me tell you, those are big shoes to fill....probably wider than they are long. He tries to project a powerful voice when he welcomes on Jim Bakker, but I can tell he's struggling. Ahh, the sad life of a eunuch.

Jim Bakker or Koala Bear?

Bakker is wearing his beard disguise again. He looks like a cuddly old Koala bear, much improved over the clean-shaven amphibian look. I imagine him sticking up banks with that beard though, walking in to the Bank of Branson with a painted water pistol and a gym bag:
Bakker: "Empty the register and nobody gets hurt."
Bank Teller: "Hey, aren't you Jim Bakker?"
Bakker: "Just...no...hey empty the register, will ya? You wanna taste lead? [motions toward water pistol]"
Teller: "Mr Bakker, that pistol is full of water."
Bakker: "[blinks]..........[runs away]"
The sad fact of the matter is that Jim doesn't need a gun for his brand of stealing. He's trying to disguise himself under that beard, but he's still ugly old Jim Bakker. A toad doesn't change it's warts.

Dr Sherlock Bally eats at the local soup kitchen
Jim's guest all week has been a sleazy-looking character who goes by the name 'Dr Sherlock Bally'. This guy is no more a doctor than Jim is a preacher, and I don't believe for a minute that his real name is 'Sherlock Bally'. The guy looks like he just came from a soup kitchen. In his prime, he was probably a used car salesman going by the name 'Crazy Larry' who lost his job after selling one-too-many lemons. Now he's back selling lemons again, just under a different name.

Crazy Larry began the week in his free soup kitchen garb: Oversized blue rayon shirt, oversized black slacks, shirt untucked. Gee, thanks for dressing up Sherlock. Jim announced him as "One of my best friends...in the ministry". In over three years of watching the Bakker show, I've never seen or heard of Dr Sherlock Bally. And now he's one of Bakker's best ministry friends? Wow, I guess Jim makes friends quick...probably something he learned in prison.

Crazy Larry thinking about his clothing choice for tomorrow
As we progressed later in the week, Dr Crazy Larry Bally changed out of his soup kitchen garb and into his car salesman power outfit: All purple. Purple shirt, purple pants. I can't see his shoes, but they may as well be purple. If they were any other color, they'd stick out like a sore thumb. Wait, aren't sore thumbs also purple? Damn, this guy's good...

Crazy Larry's hair is thinning up top, and he loves talking with his hands. When the guy begins one of his fast-talking rants, he's constantly using his hands and fingers to mesmerize the Bakker zombies watching at home. He's like a snake charmer with these hand movements. Correction: he is a snake charmer. After all, he charmed Bakker enough to get on his show.

'You will give your money to...Jim Bakker.' Muhahaha!
I originally thought that 'Dr Sherlock Bally' was Indian or Pakistani. However, Jim and Lori stated that he hails from Trinidad. If you hadn't already noticed, Trinidad is spawning a whole lot of these fast-talking weirdos that speak gibberish, using strange terms like 'divine intercessor' and coincidentally all awarding themselves the title of 'Doctor'. Crazy Larry is a real fast-talker too, Jim makes mention of how much he loves that Bally speaks quickly, but he can still understand everything perfectly. That's Bakker code-speak for 'this guy isn't working out'. Jim's elderly viewers are probably sitting at home cross-eyed while Crazy Larry is babbling on. But I don't know, maybe the wild gesticulating makes up for his rambling and actually hypnotizes the pea-brained Bakker zombies at home? "I..must..give..money....to...Jim...Bakker."

Jim says through a fake sob: "You cannot love God!"
Jim spent most of the week talking to Crazy Larry about hypocrites and deceivers in the church, and the love of money which permeates everything. This is real easy for Jim Bakker because he only has to describe himself. He talks about "men being caused to believe a lie" and people within the church seeking "filthy lucre". That's you, Jim Bakker. He goes on to say that man cannot love both God and money. Bakker gasps as he fake sobs, "You cannot love God!" This is the height of hypocrisy for Bakker, since he'll be hawking foodbuckets and Lori's House donations within 10 minutes. And every turd on that set knows it. They know it, they profit from it, and they perpetuate Bakker's lies in order to keep all that filthy lucre coming in.

Jim Bakker making it rain!
Bakker grabs a few dollar bills and tells an absurd fake story about attending a service where the pastor tells people that they shouldn't give money to the poor, but instead should give it to the rich. He then states that people began stuffing dollars into this pastor's pockets. This is Jim's cue to 'make it rain'. Bakker then takes a few dollar bills and starts stuffing them in Crazy Larry's collar! The guy is frozen with shock, he doesn't know what to do as Bakker accosts him so he just sits very still and glares at Bakker while thinking, 'Are you out of your frickin' mind?' Like he would a stripper in Vegas, Bakker works those bills into every little crevice he can find. Crazy Larry got one in the shirt collar, one in the shirt sleeve, and then a free-floater on his shoulder just for being a good girl. Bakker does this kind of crap on purpose to feed his own ego. He likes to emasculate men who appear on his show, to set the tone so they know who the boss is. He did it to Philip Cameron a few times and now he's doing it to Dr Sherlock Bally. Do you think Jim would do this to the Morningside head honcho, Jerry Crawford? No way, no-sirree-bob, because Jim knows that Jerry's the boss. You don't make a mockery of the boss.

Jim's getting fired up about Ricky's video games again
Jim says he 'raised a lot of money' in his day, but neglects to tell us that he also 'illegally misused a lot of money' in his day. Now Jim's getting fired up about the 'vidya games' again. He did this a few weeks ago too, and I'll tell you that this whole angry tirade about video games is really about Ricky. I haven't seen Jim's 'son' Ricky in ages, I'm pretty sure he was replaced by Jim's actual blood, the young froglet James. It sounds like Ricky was banished from the show because he wasn't obeying Jim's orders to steal, and now Ricky is vamanos. Poor Ricky, I liked that kid. Good-looking, bright-eyed kid, smiling all the time. It wasn't his choice to be 'adopted' by Lori and Jim, and as we can see, he's not playing their real-world thieving games with them. Instead, he's playing make-believe killin' games, and Jim is not having any of it. But let's be honest Jim: You're not angry about the game, you're angry about Ricky. Ricky needs to get in line with everyone else, and he's not doing it. That sound about right, Jim? Hang in there Ricky!

"I wish to God I didn't have to raise any money, before God I wish I didn't." Then don't, Jim. You don't have to, nobody is forcing you. Just preach and stop asking for money. Problem solved! See how easy it is?

No Jim, why don't YOU be the antichrist?
We get some nonsense spilling out of Dr Sherlock Bally's mouth, then it's back to Jim for doom and gloom coverage. A little EU economic news, global food shortages, then Jim talks Antichrist. He tells Zach, "You be the Antichrist...look pompous." Zach tries to change his demeanor, but he actually looks exactly the same as he always looks. He doesn't look pompous, he looks constipated. Jim is very difficult to follow in this segment, even after repeating it a few times to take some snapshots of ugly Jim, it's still hard to comprehend what in the hell he was trying to say. The important thing is that he elbow-checked Lori on camera to wake her out of a daze, then he exclaimed to the crowd, "Duh! Duh!" As a capper to Bakker's babbling, a graphic appeared on screen for the $3000 Time of Trouble foodbuckets.

I think Jim's losing his mind
I think Jim's losing his marbles. He's saying things like, "Things have to happen to cause other things to happen". He refers to Noah's Ark: "The Flood had to float the boat, but the Flood killed the people." He starts whining like a little kid, but again it's incoherent and impossible to decipher.



Jim poured water on the table
Whoops, hold on, this one came through loud and clear: "You can't tell me what to preach. You've already put me in prison once." Ain't that the truth! And hopefully, we'll do it again Jim. Now Jim's moving into abortion talk, and I mean a lot of abortion talk. Not women's abortion, mind you, but men's abortion. He's talking about men who have driven women to have abortions. Jim's takes his coffee mug and pours out water on the table in front of him. Then he takes his hands and sort of slaps the water with his fingers. He calls this a 'puddle of tears', then gives us all a little fake crying for effect. For the last few minutes, Bakker seemed to fade in and out of coherency. I wonder if maybe Jim was bitten by a rabid bat when he was out at his lake home on his month-long vacation?

Was Jim bitten by a rabid animal at the lake home?
Now Jim says he hates the word happy. From there he hits marriage, saying the bible doesn't guarantee happiness in marriage. The guy is all over the map today. All the while, different graphics appear on screen for various Jim Bakker Show products. That's a new thing I hadn't seen before. Normally they wait for Jim to lead into product sales, but now they're just running them real-time as the Bat-Bitten Bakker rambles on.


Crazy Larry's silly snake arms have minds of their own
 Crazy Larry has been tapped in. He's looking right at the camera, fast-talking us while simultaneously attempting to hypnotize us with his hands. His voice is very deep, perhaps it serves as a sort of background noise to open pathways deep in our brains while we watch the hand show before us? The guy's like a big fat purple mime that you'd see down on Venice Beach performing for quarters. He's booming away about something or other, but his hands and arms are the focus. This guy is not meant for tv. Maybe this crap works at a pulpit, but when he's on camera he's a headache to watch.

His arms literally have minds of their own. One shoots left [kaping!], the other shoots right [kapow!]. Sometimes they both come together in front and obscure his face and mouth. They're like silly snakes attached to his shoulders, doing whatever they damn well please.

Jim arm-checking Lori earlier in the show
It appears that Crazy Larry tapped himself in, because Jailbird Jim looks none-to-pleased with his ramblings. Dr Sherlock has sort of shrunk back into his chair because he knows he shouldn't have started up without Jim's explicit consent. Jim starts right back from where he was before he was so rudely interrupted. He's back on marriage, and now he is saying that marriage has happiness but divorce is really what he meant to criticize earlier. Man, between Jim's crazy-making and Dr Sherlock Bally's Amazing Electric-Purple Hand Show, I am exhausted. It's nearly impossible to make sense of everything that's being discussed here. Thankfully, simpleton Lori takes over, and what she's saying comes through loud and clear: Twenty bucks gets you Sherlock Bally's book and dvd set. I'll say one thing about Crazy Larry: the guy comes cheap. Typical book and dvd guests are charging $50 or more, but this guy is cut-rate. Lori makes an open plea for people to buy his crap, and as we all know, people will. I'll be interested to see if the guy comes back more than once though. I believe he's slated for another spot in mid-September, but that's probably already booked and signed and Jim can't weasel out of it now. I want to see if one of Jim's 'best friends in the ministry' is welcomed back for a third appearance.

Bat, raccoon, werewolf...some dirty critter bit Jim Bakker.
The last half of the show has Jim making his push for foodbuckets and his new giant green water barrels. You are such a liar, Jim Bakker. You tell people to 'get ready', you make them fearful with your scary stories, yet you take their money and do what with it? You build obnoxious, unnecessary buildings. You build Lori's House. You build Stella's House. You invite misguided fat kids to Master's Media [formerly Master's Commission], charging them $8000 each fake 'semester' so they can run your expensive television cameras for free. They pay you, Jim, but you don't pay them. Then when they can no longer afford your irrelevant school, as I suspect has happened to kids like Trystan Eschette, Charlette Wintercorn and the others, you kick them out. Why do you not buy the same shit that you're shoveling? Shouldn't you be stocking up on foodbuckets instead of building RV Parks and bathhouses? The world is ending Jim Bakker, these are the end times, isn't that right? Why are you building? Why is Philip Cameron building? Is it because you always need a building project to keep your dirty money flowing in?

90 comments:

Anonymous said...

I watched the end of today's show (can't stand to watch it all the way thru) and Laurie's face looks like a shiney mask. What has she done to her face?

Anonymous said...

Once again really good stuff and right on, with a little humor mixed in. Loved it! What a great point about the end of the world coming, but Jim keeps building!

Nedzo said...

Hey wait till you get a look at Francesco!! LOL!!
Where in the hell does King Bakker find these shitheads????
Sasha is still there, HMMM, No I can't say that!! LOL
Talk about reality TV!! This show is the best of the best!! LOL

Brother Dortch said...

Jim Bakker knows better than to mess with Jerry Crawford like he did with this purple people scammer today. Can you imagine Crawford up there on stage and all of a sudden Bakker starts putting dollar bills in Crawford's shorts? I don't think so!

The Masters Media, which Jim calls a "College" (which is a lie and can be nothing further from the truth) has had their original Masters Commission Charter REVOKED from the organization that certifies official Masters Commissions. Also, the "semester" or "quarters" system that was formerly in place has been dropped completely. If you want to come to Morningside and work for Bakker for free and pay him $6,000 for the opportunity then you can now do it at anytime. That's right! No start or stop date anymore. This sham "free labor scam" has got to be seriously hurting to come down to something like this.

Regarding Trystan Eschette: You could not find another more brainwashed, used, and mentally abused female in this cult and I would like to commend her for finally seeing the light and getting the hell out of Dodge! If she did this on her own, she is to be commended and if her family or other support network helped her to see the truth then let them be commended too. Trystan: Join a decent church that demands no more than 10% tighes and preaches the word 95% of the time and takes an offering only 5% of the time instead of one that takes an offering 95% of the time and preaches the word only 5% of the time.

And also Trystan: Welcome back to the real world! Enjoy life, enjoy yourself, and enjoy your friends and loved ones. Perhaps you can even start dating a decent and nice guy and, from now on, try your very best to stay away from anyone who has spent time in federal prison for defrauding elderly people out of their money!

Buddy's Buddy said...

I LOVE this blog! Thank you! We've been watching these huckster criminals since Tammy Fay days. Can't believe people are so stupid as to actually give this vampire money.

But, hell, we'll give him our attention as this stuff is the best reality TV there is.

Loved the bank teller gig... Do you think Bakker had a Seychelle water filter on his squirt gun?

Buddy's Buddy said...

By the way, I bought some corn today...

http://jimbakker666.blogspot.com/2011/05/bakker-states-that-corn-will-run-out-in.html

Anonymous said...

Where are all the past Master's Media kids? They must have something to say and I would like to hear it. The kids are just that, kids. Can't fault them for being sucked into the black hole but the parent should be older enough to know about the real Jim Bakker.

Brother Dortch said...

I agree that any and all Jim Bakker and Morningside former Masters Commission or Masters Media participant's opinions would be a welcome addition to this blog. James' brother was one who didn't last long there at all and I am sure he has an opinion to share. Any others? Let your opinions be heard NOW because I CARE !!!

Anonymous said...

I would be willing to bet that absolutely NONE of the past Masters free labor workers are now employed full-time by any TV station or TV network and I challenge anyone to prove me wrong. Here's your chance, Bakker supporters. Produce the name of so much as one person from your past free labor pool currently full-time with ANY TV station or network who can honestly say they received that job because of attending this so-called "college" which is not a college at all. Don't worry folks, there will be no names produced because this one person does not exist!

Anonymous said...

Jim just said that the Bible says people believe a lie. That has to be the verse that he lives by.

Anonymous said...

The pictures of Bakker's fake crying are the best! Knew he was losing it. To many lies along with being bit by a rabid animal has been to much on Jimboy!

Anonymous said...

C'mon now everyone give Jim a break, he's just a little confused. When God said to pray for people Jim thought God meant prey on people. Surely if someone straightens him out on this little fact he'll come around!

Anonymous said...

Lori has big boobs. Are they real or did the food buckets pay for those bad boys?

Brother Joe said...

As a former employee I will comment on the following:

Sherlock has been on the show before, at least twice in the last year. Yes, he always talks the big prophetic mumbo-jumbo, and he's just about as sleazy in real life as he is on-camera.

Jim doesn't actually like Zach and has referred to him as completely useless. This was something he actually said to me in a meeting, that Zach is "completely useless". Zach, however, has nowhere to go and the "training" of Master's Commission leaves him with no other choice but to be the new fat guy sitting ignored to the left of the stage since Kevin abandoned ship.

Jim and Lori have sent their "daughter" Marie away (no one knows where) after she had a flirtation with a Master's Commission student (Nate). Nate was subsequently thrown out of the "school" after two years of faithful service and after having been paraded around by Jim as one of his great "successes". Nate's sister who was in Master's for a short while as well left the program on her own and has not been heard from since either. Jim used to also parade Ricky around as heir-apparent, but that all stopped when Jim managed to force James to stop being romantically involved with Master's Student Charlet. Once Jim drove that wedge he immediately ensnared James as the new heir-apparent and began parading him around. Jim plies James with gifts, money, and endless adulation even though he threw James' father, Doug, out of Morningside causing James' brother, Jonathan, to also leave and even resulting in a call from Tammy Sue that she would never have herself or her family have anything to do with Jim again. Jim, as I said, has plied James with all sorts of trinkets and lies to enchant the youngster and he has his talons deep into the boy.

Brother Joe said...

The incoherency you see on the show happens in real life as well. One taped hour-long episode of the program takes up to 6 hours to tape because Jim rambles on and on and on and it is a nightmare to edit because there are no logical points connecting any two soundbites. This was not always the case as Jim used to perform the show live in an hour and broadcast the tape as is. Jim's personal sycophantic VP of Television, Andrew, however, introduced Jim to the notion of editing the show and Jim has taken that as a license to ramble for as long as he likes with the confidence that Andrew will turn the ranting into a coherent show which, of course, never actually happens.

Many changes in the show will be coming very soon. Jim's longtime director has resigned and Andrew is now directing the show (not because he knows how to direct but simply because there is no one left to do it. Mando has directed in the past but he is about as effective as a monkey throwing turds at the video board.) The entire first taping with Andrew at the helm was a non-stop chorus of "oops" "darnit" "I meant to..." "I didn't mean to..." and so on.

Don't underestimate Lori. The woman is a total snake and the real prop that holds Jim up. While the Bakkers claim to be poor and make no money, the fact of the matter is that all of the money comes through in Lori and her mother, Char's, names. While Jim is becoming old, senile, and downright insane, Lori will be holding him up even after his death and lining her spider's web with the legacy of Jim and Tammy, PTL, and all that Jim has fleeced the people for his whole life.

Oh, and as for the $8000 he charges Master's students, that's not really true. Last year, Jim pushed to try and get 50 full-time paying students. Instead he got a half-dozen new students and a handful of returning ones. Out of all of the students he got, all but two were fully "scholarshipped" by Jim with the remaining two receiving "partial scholarships". No one who came was able to pay their own way. What's more, actual training did not happen more than was necessary to put them to work on the show and then Jim began a systematic layoff of his staff, replacing crew and talents with his slaves. In the end, about half of the students left or were thrown out and Jim is terribly short-handed and losing more people all the time.

I could go on, but I think that's enough for now.

Anonymous said...

I removed that earlier redundant post as I imagine you wanted it taken down for privacy reasons.

Anonymous said...

Wow Brother Joe, thanks for sharing. I know a lot of this is true, so I believe all that you said. I had a suspicion that Lori was a snake. Don't underestimate her as just a blonde bimbo with big boobs! On a pre-show Jim wanted to quit and give it all up. Someone on the cameras had messed up and turned off the mic. Jim was angry because he said he had been flowing in the spirit. He said he couldn't go back and redo what was lost. Lori says "Oh yes Jim you can go on. (please don't quit Jim, I could never make this kind of money and live this well if I had to get a real job)! Then she starts telling him what he said! So then Jim says it all over again. Sure he was flowing in the spirit the first time, that is why he was able to do the script over a second time! Thanks to Lori's leading lol. Lori is desperate to keep this cushy lifestyle! Jims' been good for this fake....hair, nails, boobs, botox. Yep, none of it's real! What a gig and all the perks too! Not bad for a girl that would still be living in the projects. It's a crime the kids she took out of the projects are used in this 3 ring act! Poor Maria! I am sure she is better off where ever they sent her! Been wondering where the kids are. Guess they're not so good for business anymore. That place is crazy and you wonder why people are so nasty there. It starts from the top on down! Someone should give this stuff to Frank Peretti. He could come up with a new novel about demons posing as christians and getting access to brainwash people through a supposed christian tv show. Man this would be good material for him! Oh that's right he already did a book about that. This stuff would qualify as non fiction though! So none of the master commission kids pay for their supposed education! They all get scholarships! Who pays for the scholarships? Sounds like there should be audit of the books!

Anonymous said...

Regarding Lori: It has always been distasteful to hear Jim repeatedly talk about Lori's FIVE abortions, drug addictions and wild living. It is unfathomable to think that ANYONE would EVER repeat an abortion after experiencing ONE, let alone FIVE. The impression one gets is that she used abortion as birth control, which speaks volumes. She's now too old for the streets, so no wonder she's latched on to the Magic Money Machine that is Jim Bakker. And the old, lonely retirees at home just open their wallets and send money for his crap. It's sickening.

Anonymous said...

I like when Jim says Lori was into Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll. OMG! Rock and Roll? Say it isn't true!

Ron said...

Awesome comments, I love the inside info. I added a new poll question and retired the old question. The Lori Birthday show hasn't aired on tv yet, I'll try and catch it when it's broadcast in a week or so.

In the meantime I might post up another Foodbucket Flashback, I've been dying to tear into the Master's Commission Graduation show from a couple years ago.

Anonymous said...

I would like someone to tell me what Jim Bakker has accomplished for the Gospel in all of the years that he has managed to stay on TV. I know Swaggert can sing and sell records (fair enough), the Crouch's speak in tongues on their show and have launched a satellite to reach the world for themselves (not Jesus), Benny Hinn has managed to escape jail for knocking people over when he prays for them, but other than the fact that Bakker can raise lots of dollars what has he accomplished for the Gospel and Jesus?

I was doing research on a paper for college about TV preachers and concluded that of all the TV preachers he is the most notorious in that he has committed all of the sins of the flesh and yet his supporters still send him their dollars. Maybe its kind of "kinky" in the church world to love bad behavior and the more the better. Sky's the limit for Bakker. I wouldn't think that would be something to be proud of especially when he can't even sing. So, what does he do that allows money to flow? It must be that he is just so bizarre and strange and really believes that he is a victim and this appeals to people that support him. My mother still sends him money and I asked her why and she said that she thinks most of the stuff that has been said about "poor Jim" are lies. So there you go! The courts and the law and all of us that question him are just behaving badly and we will all reap what we sow. Could be why Bakker said there would be no corn in the month of August...

Loy

The Reverend Maggart said...

Maybe little Maria is away having an abortion!! Like MOMMY had!! Monkey see, Monkey do!!

Anonymous said...

Lori does like her rock and roll. I was in the audience the day Jim said on the air Lori was away for the weekend at a concert. He said he hoped it was a christian concert. I noticed he wouldn't look into the camera when he said it though! We all knew she was in Kansas City at some rock and roll concert with her friend from her drugging, rock and roll days. How could we know and he didn't!!

Anonymous said...

I am glad I am not the only one that cringes everytime Jim brags about Lori's 5 abortions and using every drug she could get her hands on. That is sickening and if I were Lori I wouldn't want anyone to know. Even if she has changed it isn't anything to wear a badge of honor about.

Anonymous said...

It is disgusting how Jim and Lori promote her sex, drugs, rock and roll, and abortions for their business. The abortions are just another prop for this crazy thing they call ministry. Amazing some people won't see for what it is. Those who can't be fooled know the truth it's just another ploy for making money. Now they can build Lori's house! She is a crusader and wants to save those other girls from making the same mistakes she did. Oh please, nobody in their right mind makes that many mistakes! After the first abortion the rest are not mistakes. Has anyone read her book More Than I Could Ever Ask? It's a poorly written book full of stories about her sexual escapades and drugs. Slimy people would enjoy it, as for me mine went in the trash where it belonged! Some of you would enjoy the part about her "knight in shining armor JIM" and their wedding night sex. I am gagging as I think of it. Not a thought that needed to be planted in my conscience! You may also enjoy the pictures of her back in those drugging, boozing days...Lori had no chest. Those things she has now are as fake as a counterfeit dollar. (Why is it that when I think of Jim and Lori I want to break out in a chorus from Cher's song Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves?) The title of the book is right on though with Jimboy she now has more that she could ever ask! Only problem is she keeps asking good people for more! She went from being a sex and drug addict to being a money addict. This bad girl gone good doesn't know that love of money is the root of all evil! What bible is she reading? But evil is what she seems to have a propensity for!

Anonymous said...

Could you imagine eating out of the CrapBuckets for 7 years? What would that do to your system?

Anonymous said...

Hey everyone check out Branson Topix Forum. Lots of kooks over there defending Jim. lol

Brother Dortch said...

Thank-you Brother Joe for the unselfish use of your time and expertise in sharing your very pertinent and truthful commentaries in this forum. We are so very glad you're here!

It should also be noted that one of the adopted Mexican daughters, "Little Lori", who used to work for Bakker and his wife, finally had enough of the nasty goings-on at Morningside that she, as well, also abruptly quit. She has left the TV and entertainment business completely and, last I knew, was working at some type of store in the Branson Landing area. Oh, and let's not forget that she is also dating a man WHO HER ADOPTIVE PARENTS DON'T LIKE but...unlucky for them...she is over 18 and no longer has to legally put up with their crap!

Uncle Henry said...

Whoa is me!! It was also like this in the old days too, but this is even gettin better.

Anonymous said...

Give Jim 20 years in prison and let him have his 20 year supply of slop buckets for each and every meal meal

Brother Dortch said...

Whoa !!! It is nice to see Uncle Henry!
I remember right after you died (true story)
in 1995 Bakker started selling, for $100 each,
a video of Bakker speaking at your funeral. This money grabbing opportunity was very quickly
put to a stop when your wife, "Aunt Susan Harrison" ended it and even went as far as to say the whole thing was in poor taste. Come on now. Jim, do something in poor taste? Say it ain't so?

Ron said...

Wow I don't know what's worse for 'Little Lori', having Jim as an adoptive father or being cursed to live and work in Branson, MO.

Who in the hell was that kook 'Francesco' on last Thursday & Friday's episodes? Those were some odd shows, they even played suspenseful music in the background while 'Francesco' went out into the woods to mess around. Episodes like that are why I'd like to just quit my job and cover every single Bakker show: I know I won't have time to cover it, but it deserves to be preserved for all eternity for a lot of different reasons. Maybe I'll save it and cover it later.

Anonymous said...

Ricky's back!!! i'm watching the show now and ricky is front and center. his voice has changed and hes got some little muscles and is turning into a young man. he and lori just got back from some holiday. regarding little lori she is living with her boyfriend in branson and he's a hottie. i'd leave morningside for him also.

Grandma Char Groupie said...

So Jimbob & Lori don't like:

a) The woman, Charlotte, who James likes
b) The flirtations of Marie to Nate
c) The current boyfriend of Little Lori and
d) Zach (who couldn't get laid in a whorehouse
with a fist full of fifties)

and to top it all off...
when the eldest daughter got married
Jim announced on TV that both were virgins!
(videotapes on sale of wedding for $50 each)

All this coming from a jailbird bisexual whore monger and a woman who has had sex with anything that walked--probably in exchange for
free dope. It doesn't get any better than this
folks...on reality TV !!!

Ron said...

Yep I saw that too, they had the kid bundled up in a weather blanket out in the woods last Friday. 'Francesco' was present. I do not know Francesco's last name. Jim seems to refer to him as a survivalist / special forces / superhero guy...perhaps he rescued Ricky from the woods?

Or maybe 'Francesco' planned the disappearance of Ricky in order to then show up on the show and save Ricky?

I don't know, but these characters who don't provide last names should always be treated with suspicion.

Anonymous said...

little lori's live-in is named jasper and i've see him. hes very nice looking, blonde, into weightlifting and never wears a shirt. lori and jim werent happy when he swept little lori off her feet. i for one am happy for her. as for the rest of the master's kids hooking up, what did they expect? put 20 college age boys and girls in a "tabernacle" in the middle of nowhere with no supervision and nothing to do and they wonder why theyre all dating now! i've never understood people who expect young people not to have sexual desires. surely lori remembers what she was feeling when she ws 19.

Brother Dortch said...

Unbeknownst to the elderly people sending him money, Bakker is known to become verbally abusive to any individual working for him at any time. This includes male, female, young or old. Any of the former or present Morningside staff can back me up on this one and I welcome you to. A good argument can be put forth that he has either lost his mind, or is in the process of becoming seriously bipolar, or suffering from some mental illness since he runs his business much like what one sees, on a daily basis, on his TV show. One moment he is soft spoken and "fake crying" and the next moment he is standing up and yelling at you at the top of his voice.

I remember when Morningside first opened and got the very first inhabitants of those tiny, postage stamp condos along Grace Street. Bakker was then still under the impression that Grace Street could become an entertainment mecca which would always be alive with some form of live entertainment (This idea has long since been abandoned as Grace Street is now totally dead except for the TV show tapings and even those have been cut back). One of his bright ideas was to showcase some one of those professional rock concert Christian acts as well as Christian hip hop and rap groups--including their rock concert grade massive sound and light systems. Needless to say, elderly people, many of whom were not in the best of health, were up in their condos unable to sleep, watch TV, or even talk to one another without drum and bass or some rapper scratching records drowning them out! When complaints rolled in from these residents, Bakker viewed them as enemies of the ministry and made an announcement, in a Sunday church service, that if they didn't like it "Why don't you just get out with it then!" and proceeded to throw those evil nay-sayers out--which he could not actually do because they owned their own condos and were not free to leave at anytime.

Anonymous said...

If Bakker Boy drops dead, what happens to those condos? They must have some weird type of homeowners association or something. What if the seller wanted to sell his/her condo to a non-Christian?

No Nonsense Norski said...

Last night Jim was on his Silver Sol kick again - this time irrigating his sinuses with a Neti Pot, which he said HE INVENTED!

Er, Jim -- the Neti Pot is over 5000 years old, initially used in Yoga.

Anyway, he showed a video of himself ACTUALLY irrigating his sinuses into his bathroom sink! And then he pointed at his snot in the sink! ACK! I about threw up my popcorn!

Has this man no sense of propriety?!? (That's a rhetorical question - Jim has NO sense of propriety or anything else)

The show is just getting weirder and weirder. "Francesco" out in the wilds, teaching the octenegarian audience how to survive in the wilds was fall-down stupid. Can't you just see an 80 year old crawling into that yellow Pup Tent after an earthquake?

Lori was a giggling awe-struck mess whenever Francesco talked. Jim better watch those two....

Anonymous said...

Jim Bakker has nothing to do with the ownership of those condos. He is merely a front man to sell them and if a condo owner wants to sell their condo to a non-Christian then so be it. No realtor or land developer anywhere in the United States would demand a buyer to be a particular religion as they could get in serious trouble for violation of federal laws regarding the Fair Housing Act.

Ron said...

Violation of federal laws? Oh, I don't think Jim has any problem violating federal laws...

Anonymous said...

So if anyone can move into those condo's then Jim shouldn't be selling Morningside as a "Christian" community!!!!!! Go look at the website the advertising makes it sound like it's a bunch of christians going to bible study and gospel sings! Just one big happy christian family living together in their lovely community! By the way it's not! Surprise, surprise Jim selling a lie!

To those commenting on the kids, Ricky is neither sweet nor innocent. Won't be surprised if we hear they have sent him to where they sent Maria. Hopefully there's a boys version! Surprise, surprise Jim is more worried about keeping the money flowing then taking care of his kids. Jim's kids with Tammy Faye have nothing to do with. Seems he hasn't improved his parenting skills with these ones.

Finally Jim was always bragging that Zach was his preacher boy? Since he's gotten so heavy the thrill Jim felt about him must now be gone. Zach another one that is not so innocent. Actually there is a whole lot of bad behavior out there!

Anonymous said...

I'm wonder...Does government allow CON-MAN adopt children?
Mama San

Cher said...

The beat goes on!!

Grandma Char Groupie said...

Jim selling a lie?
Jim wouldn't do a thing like that,
Would he?

Anonymous said...

Bakker is such a "con" and has spent his life becoming an expert in how to sucker people under the "name of Jesus"! I am starting to think that there is no Jesus otherwise Bakker would be struck down or Jesus would turn him into a "Leper"(Oh! maybe he has been struck down). It annoys me that this clown is so full of himself that he thinks he will always get away with this. Maybe God is giving him three wacks of compassion and he is on his 3rd wack.

In Sunday School years ago we were so terrified of church, the preacher and God that if we were chewing gum in service were told to swallow it...and we did. Jim went to the same kind of church so he would know about this practice...maybe that's what started him on the road...he would sell gum to the kids before service knowing he could double his money after church too....he is such a rich loser.

This comment that I am going to post is a fact about Bakker from my own experience with the Bakker name. (Its been bothering me for awhile because its such an insult to me. Pardon me while I SCREAM because it will be healing to my soul to YELL at Jim Bakker).

I was 11 years old, a little girl sitting on the front row of a Assembly of God church watching dad preaching. Because I was young I didn't understand a lot of stuff, but I knew he believed the Bible and lived it with a lot of fire and honesty. He never asked for money and he did not sell anything. On a Sunday morning my father was 34 years of age and was standing at a pulpit preaching and suddenly he said "I can't see" and died a few minutes later.

My father and mother went to the same Bible School as Jim and Tammy Bakker, which is North Central Bible School in Minneapolis, Minnesota. My Dad was the Junior Class President and the Senior Class President and was there to learn and study so they could go out and spread the gospel and he believed that the ministry was the highest calling!

The difference in the Bakker's and my parents was my parents had honest hearts and wanted to spend their lives preaching (not selling) the gospel. The Bakker's already had a gimmick...... the PUPPETS. (I find that so wacky, but he has that on his show now).

So, when I watch what Bakker does it proves to me that he has no respect for anyone and what he did learn was that TV could fast track money and he honed his skills at duping people and knew what would draw people in. He became the MASTER at selling jewelry, buckets of food,water bags, tents, wide coffins (that was a favorite). This is what is in his soul...fast way to obtain lots of money.

Bakker is such an insult to the memories of preachers and the gospel and an insult to all of us who grew up in church and never heard a preacher selling crap. Bakker doesn't even pretend to have a message.

So, Jim just sit on your mountain top and embrace yourself and count you money because your kind of alone and a lot of people are just waiting to see how you end. Bakker, you are so arrogant and you spend hours inventing new products to keep the show going. As far as I am concerned, as long as you sell your stuff then I am free to post about it, not because I am bitter, but to expose you. From the heart the mouth speaks and Jim tells us every day what's in his heart.

Anonymous said...

Good question Mama San! I have been wondering about that myself. Adoption isn't easy and Jim and Lori were able to get through the adoption process 5 times! With both Jim and Lori's backgrounds you would think there wouldn't be
any chance they could adopt. Very strange indeed.

Anonymous said...

I really don't think they actually ADOPTED those kids. I think it was around Christmas last year that Jim & Lori pulled the kids' birth mother into the audience/celebration, then trained a camera on her. Poor thing looked absolutely MISERABLE throughout the entire broadcast. Not a smile for the camera!

I suspect they "took over" the kids and promised the birth mother that the kids would enjoy a "better life".

Just doesn't seem possible that a felon and an ex-druggie would be allowed to adopt 5 kids.

Anonymous said...

Let me think about this. A choice between Jim Bakker as a father or the real mother? Who really provides a "better" life? Ex felon, no income, no home no everything. Who would authorize that adoption? Like said above, that can't be a legit adoption.

Anonymous said...

Jim has sold food, water filters, tents. He has to keep coming up new must buy items. What's next? How about a "time of trouble crapper"?

Uncle Henry said...

I see that Zach & Sasha are the only students around. Did all the rest of them get banished???
Maybe Zach is BOINKING Sasha???

Anonymous said...

I love the Coming Apocalypse Shopping Network that Jim has. Bet he will start selling Amway vitamins and building his pyramid of distributers.

Brother Dortch said...

It takes those poor Masters kids (notice I didn't say "students") a very short while until they realize they have been duped by a con artist who promised them a college of broadcasting and instead gives them direct orders to be part of a bucket brigade and unload food buckets from trucks--among other meanial jobs.

Zach, into his third year, has been "promoted" into management by Bakker. His job? He is now "in charge of the tabernacole" which is your standard no pay position and comes with a church bought fly swatter to kill the bugs that are crawling up through the slatted floor!

Sasha, or as I like to call her "The New Trystan" is becoming wiser by the minute and is questioning why she is even still there. She is sick of all the rumours and accusations that surround the place and, on more than one occasion, has commented that she is just about ready to pack her bags and get out of there and start living a normal life so she can start doing the normal things a girl her age should be doing.

Overall, the entire "college" (which is not a college at all) has been a complete failure and receives a grade of "F" on its report card. This also includes the report card they received from the authentic Masters Commission organization which is why the authentic Masters Commission organization has revoked their charter.

Ron said...

Speaking of the kids, I'm working on a special Foodbucket Flashback post which covers the graduation ceremony of the inaugural master's commission class. Gimme a few more days to fine-tune, then I'll get it posted for everyone's enjoyment.

Grandma Char Groupie said...

Another round of tapings this week with guest Flip Cameron. On this show Bakker commented that, personally, he is "broke" and has no money but then, a few moments later, he tells the audience that he just loves spending the church's money!

He then goes into a sales pitch asking for 100 people to join the "I Care" club and give $1,000 each. This is the money that Bakker says is worthless, because we are living in the last days, and all that is valuable is the foodbucket slop because you can used these freeze dried food packets to "barter" with. That's funny...he has plenty of foodbuckets there but still wants the worthless real money too! LOL! LOL! LOL!

Ron said...

This begs the question: If I send Jim some foodbuckets to barter with, will he send me $1000?

Anonymous said...

Now that Jim has taken away Ricky's war games he's freed up to spend more time on his other favorite activity. Unless Jim took away his computer also.

Brother Dortch said...

Daughter Marie has been taken to the state of Alabama where she is in school. Lori Graham Bakker stated that on today's show and mentioned that she (Lori) had just come back from visiting her.

Anonymous said...

Rumours and accusations flying around that crazy place! Say it isn't so. lol If the food bucket business goes bust Jim can just start filming what goes on there. They could call it Morningside Place. Since Peyton Place and a few other soap operas are gone sounds like those little old ladies are bored. Lies, sex,scandal, and gossip... Morningside has it all! No script writer needed! I think I heard All My Children is now gone too! Well Jim has enough children and sounds like enough material he could do two separate soap operas based on the goings on at his wonderful christian village.

Sounds like Sasha is a smart girl. Run Sasha run!

Anonymous said...

Bakker was bitching about the lack of success of the so-called "college" today and said that he has gone out of his way to establish it BUT NOBODY WANTS TO COME! Ahhhhhh!

Brother Dortch said...

Did any of you happen to catch what Flip Cameron was doing to one of the girls from Muldova after the taping ended today for show #2? If you happened to be watching via internet, or if you were one of the 12 people in the audience, you clearly saw what I am about to tell you. But first, here is what he had to say.

He said that both he and his wife had 15 girls and 3 boys from Muldova staying with them over the summer and then Bakker flashed a photo of them all on the screen. Then both of the con men started with the money grab about protecting the girls from sexual slavery.

Also, for the first time I have ever heard, Lori Bakker tried her hand at "fake crying" since she does not have the ability, as Tammy Faye had, to cry real tears on demand. I wonder where she learned this? Then, after saying goodbye, the aftershow began and Jim starts selling those squeeze flashlights. You know, the ones he says will last a lifetime, but only last a few weeks. Flip had a flashlight in his hand and flashed it into the eyes of the girl from Muldova, seated right next to him, to which the girl shouted out:

"Oh, Dad!"

That's right. The Muldovian girls call him Dad! Then Bakker goes on selling and asking for more $$$. Flip is seated in a big wicker chair with armrests built right into the chair, and the young girl from Muldova is seated in the exact same kind of chair, next to him, which also has armrests built right into it.

You can look over and clearly see that ole' Flip is not using the armrest of his own chair but is, instead, resting his hand on the Muldovian girl's chair while squeezing her fingers in his hand--exactly like what two people would do if they were dating one another! He has graduated from feeling up their legs, like on past shows, to holding their fingers in his squeezed hand. All this to make a buck, in what is supposed to be, God's name? Where is this man's wife--at home fooling around with the Muldovian boys?

Anonymous said...

Between The Wild & Wonderful Whites of West Virginia (check Netflix) and Bakker's non-stop Carnival of End Times, it's a wonder any work gets done around here! Sheesh!

Anonymous said...

I don't know why people want to make something gross out of Phillip Cameron and the Muldovian kids. Can't he and his wife just be doing a good thing by those kids? I pray that those kids are getting a better life and not what is being posted on here.

Anonymous said...

Hey Anonymous,

Since you want to defend Phillip Cameron maybe you know him? If you do, then explain why those children are not in school? I think the Department of Education would be very interested in knowing.

You really don't think there isn't a problem with all this nonsense do you?!

No Nonsense Norski said...

There are alot of unanswered questions regarding those Moldovan kids and it is important for the viewer/follower to break through the smokescreen to make sure the intentions are pure.

There are plenty of at-risk kids right here in the US, as well as in Cameron's native Scotland that would benefit from such unceasing money raising efforts. WHY Moldova? Why not the US? Why not Scotland?

Why hasn't Cameron found native social workers in Moldova to take over?

What's in it for Cameron??

That's for starters. If you know Cameron or anyone associated with his organization, please provide proof that this is, indeed, legit.

So far, many of us just don't buy it.

Sonny said...

"...and the beat goes on!"

Anonymous said...

Because it is hard to check up on a guy that lives in Moldova. People seem to like to give to the poor in other countries before their own. I have never been to an orphanage in America but I would bet my paycheck the kids don't call the boss "Dad"

Brother Dortch said...

I have just finished watching show taping #3 with Cameron this week, taped today (9-8-11) in which Jim Bakker, himself, stated on the air that there is, to use his exact words, "full disclosure" in regard to the funds being raised for Cameron's endeavors in Muldova.

If there is "full disclosure" regarding the finances being raised for Cameron's Muldova efforts, in which Jim Bakker receives 2/3 of the money and Cameron receives 1/3 of the money then how, possibly, can this be a true statement and not an untrue statement WHEN THERE IS NO PUBLIC DISCLOSURE OF FUNDS FOR MORNINGSIDE CHURCH, INC. or NEW COVENANT FELLOWSHIP which are the corporate entities Bakker raises money for?

Is anyone out there, including the Cameron supporters, foolish enough to believe this?
Philip Cameron is discredited by his association with Bakker and you can rest assured his choice of a charity to raise money for, in an offbeat and under developed nation like Muldova, is no accident.

Anonymous said...

Jesus said in Mark 12:17 Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's and unto God what is God's.

Why doesn't Jim pay the government the taxes he owes? Why will he not put anything he has in his name? Why is everything in Lori and her mother's name? Why would anyone trust any of these three?

Should anyone be giving a man any money and follow his teaching when he doesn't obey God?

I for one would not follow after one who blatantly disobeys Jesus!

Anonymous said...

Never seen Jimbob taught anyone anything!!! He is just a grumpy old man who's trying to sell CRAPS!
Mama San

Grandma Char Groupie said...

Jim and Lori were complaining today that bugs have gotten into Grace Street and that the flies or something are bothering them during the taping of the show and even crawling up through the bottom of the desk biting them when they are trying to talk.

Thank God for signs and wonders!

Cameron Is Not My Dad said...

Whoops...I thought for a second there that Mama San was saying that Jimbob had the crabs!...LOL LOL LOL

Anonymous said...

This is posted on the Jim Bakker show website from his "prosperity and the coming Apocalypse" book......

Materialistic christianity was not the message of the early apostles, nor was it what motivated the great preachers, missionaries, and world changers throughout church history.

.......He should preach this message to himself. Seems that materialism is all that has ever motivated Jim Bakker! He sure didn't take the message from the apostles, missionaries, and world changers to heart!

Anonymous said...

Cameron Is Not My Dad,

I guess one day Jimbob is going to sell CRABS too.
Will see.
Mama San

Anonymous said...

He goes by the "Do what I say, not what I do."

Anonymous said...

Master's Media? But who really is the master in that program?

Unclle Henry said...

Stay tuned for next week's episode of the "MORNINGSIDE FOLLIES" starring FLIP & The FLIPETTES, Featuring LORI the BOOB Bakker.

Cameron Is Not My Dad said...

Oh...This ought to be good...real good!

Anonymous said...

Is it true you have to donate $500 to the ministry to be in the audience when he tapes his show? Man, that is a lot more than some rock concerts:>(

Anonymous said...

I work for Christian TV and the episode that airs on the third of October has him admitting to using the orphans as free labor.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Nedzo! This show is total comedy! Please post again Nedzo.

april b said...

I watched the show online after reading this (show #1910, by the way, if you're interested). And I am convinced he was drunk.

Anonymous said...

You people that worked for Baker obviously have no balls. Why don't you give your real names. Are you that afraid of a man that you are so incredibly bothered with? Suck it up and be real men!

The IRS said...

I don't think anyone's afraid of Jim, they're afraid of his lunatic zombie followers. [shudders]

Anonymous said...

You silly thing. They have discussed that already. That is what the shovel is for. Dig a hole. Do your thing and then bury it. No joke. EWWWWW

Anonymous said...

This BLOG has made my day! Funniest stuff I've read in a while! Carry on.

Anonymous said...

You guys are so stupid. What do you do... Sit around and make fun of him? You're all just jealous cause he's doing so much better then you! He's got more money, he's famous, and probably way happier then any of you guys! People make mistakes in their lives. &because he made a couple we should sit and hate? Why don't I just sit here and dog all the sex addicts, porno lovers, and lazy ass people out there? You've allllll made many mistakes.
So get over yourselves and stop chatting about a guy that you've never even met. Cause I'm all reality you're no better. Look at you hiding behind your computer making insulting comments about him. You'll get your karma fat asses!

Anonymous said...

HERE IS A QUESTION TO ASK. IF MORNINGSIDE TAKES OVER GRACE STREET. WHO WILL MAINTAIN THE CONDO PROPERTIES? ARE THERE MONTHLY FEES TO MAINTAIN THE ROOF? FINALLY, HOW AND WHO WILL MANAGE THE PROPERTY?

Anonymous said...

Hilarious , even more hilarious is how many people follow this blog and comment on. Top notch.

Anonymous said...

Top nicknames For Uncle Jimmy: "J-Dog" "Da Baker man"
"Jimmedy" Jimmerz"